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Oct 30, 2009 01:05

HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION.

IF SAY, YOU WERE PRESENTED WITH A DOLPHIN RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT?

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Comments 9

twdenmother October 30 2009, 06:29:36 UTC
I assume you mean one not in water?

In that case, the first priority would be to get it into water, before it suffered massive organ damage from its own weight. Anything large enough to hold it -- you'd be looking for a swimming pool, or something similar. Best bet in Chicago would be to find a place that still has the larger variety of children's pool, or a portable above-ground swimming pool.

If it's a saltwater dolphin, trying to get the proper saline content and pH balance would be a next step, but the priority is water. Any water.

In the short term, find wet towels and drape one along the dorsal fin (on the dolphin's back), and another over the tail. You'll want to keep as much of the dolphin wet as possible, but those are the key points.

[Locked]

Please, tell me this has nothing at all to do with the fact that J is your ward.

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ornobodywill October 30 2009, 06:31:55 UTC
Hahahahaha.

Great.

That's pretty much impossible.

...Towels. I can do towels. There has to be a linen closet around here somewhere...

[Locked]

...That depends. Do you like liars?

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twdenmother October 30 2009, 06:36:06 UTC
[Locked]

Just tell me where you are. I'll bring the towels.

He couldn't have turned into a species that I didn't have a lifelong affection for? No, of course not.

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[Locked] ornobodywill October 30 2009, 06:38:29 UTC
There's a maintenance hallway. Follow the sound of profanity until you find a topless redhead with wings tearing her hair out. You can't miss it.

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crimeatthetime October 30 2009, 22:34:32 UTC
...Put it in the lake?

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ornobodywill October 30 2009, 22:35:23 UTC
Yeah. Great. He only weighs about a ton.

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crimeatthetime October 30 2009, 22:36:04 UTC
I take it this is not, in fact, a hypothetical.

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ornobodywill October 30 2009, 22:37:27 UTC
Not really, no.

.......

My ward is a dolphin.

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