Title: Blue
Fandom: Pretty Little Liars
Summary: Paige buys a toy. She has a lot of feelings about it.
Rating: NC-17
AN: This is porn. A dash of character introspection, then just plain old porn.
&&&
She and Emily have been together six months when Paige buys it online. She times it so it will be delivered during the week her parents are away at a wedding, and still spends the wait on the verge of hyperventilating. She has nightmares of someone, anyone, intercepting it. Imagines a faceless, blonde figure waving it around in the school hallway, pointing at her accusingly while everyone laughs at Paige McCullers, pervert.
She’s being ridiculous, she knows, but her face still burns when the nondescript brown package arrives. She stares intently at the delivery man, waiting for a smirk, judgement, something, but he just passes it over to her with a bored, “Have a nice day.”
She hides it at the back of her closet and doesn’t open it for a week.
&&&
Her and Emily’s sex life - and she still can’t get over the fact she has a sex life, with Emily - is amazing. Emily’s her first, and Paige was terrified their first time together, but Emily was sweet and patient and beautiful. And every time after just gets better and better.
Paige can pinpoint the moment the idea came to her. She was on top of Emily, between the other girl’s thighs, moving against her desperately and as Emily whimpered and arched her back the image appeared.
Paige’s thrusts became frantic, almost rough, and she came with a loud cry as her body pushed into Emily’s urgently, collapsing on top of a still panting Emily.
Paige felt fingers run through her sweaty hair, and Emily’s voice was breathless in her ear, “What brought that on?”
Paige instinctively started withdraw, apologising, only to be stopped by Emily pulling her back for a soft kiss.
“Hey, I never said I didn’t enjoy it.”
Emily’s smile was warm and sexy and as Paige lost herself in those inviting lips she allowed her mind to drift back to the picture her mind had so vividly created.
She placed her order the next day.
&&&
She tries it on when she finally opens it. Fiddles with straps, adjusting till it fits firmly around her hips. She grasps the firm plastic, runs her hand down it, taking in the smooth texture.
It’s bright blue. It made her think of swimming pools. She feels ridiculous.
She takes it off and returns it to the hiding place at the back of closet.
&&&
It doesn’t stay there long. Paige keeps trying it on, looking at herself from different angles. She imagines Emily’s hand in place of her own, imagines Emily beneath her, gasping as Paige pushes inside.
Paige grips the shaft, pushes it back against herself, and groans at the feel of it.
She says nothing to Emily.
&&&
For two months, at least once a week she puts it on, feels the weight of it. She can’t believe how much it turns her on. She doesn’t know what
it all means, if it means anything at all. She wonders what Emily would say.
&&&
She gets caught in such a stupid way she’ll later wonder if she subconsciously did it on purpose.
How else do you explain her strapping it on thirty minutes before Emily’s supposed to come over, losing track of time, and leaving the front door unlocked so that Emily can walk into her room to see Paige, naked, gripping the bright blue dildo as she thrusts into her own hand?
Emily’s quiet, shocked, “Oh!” is what alerts Paige to her presence.
Paige feels her stomach drop, she grabs her discarded jeans to cover herself, but it’s pointless.
Emily’s eyes are wide, mouth hanging open, and Paige waits for it. For the look of disgust as Emily walks away from her, Paige having finally made that last mistake that Emily can’t look past.
Paige hangs her head and tries not to cry.
Emily’s hand is warm on her cheek as she forces Paige to look at her.
“Paige?”
Paige feels tears welling in her eyes, “I’m sorry, I don’t…”
She can’t finish her thought, unsure of what she would even say.
Emily kisses her softly, keeps her hand on Paige’s cheek. It’s soothing, and when Emily pulls away it’s like Paige can breathe again. Emily stays close, resting her head on Paige’s shoulder, angled so she can look down the length of Paige’s body.
Emily’s voice is gentle, “It’s okay.”
Paige sniffles, keeping her eyes down. Her cheeks burn as Emily carefully pulls the jeans loose from her hands, exposing her.
Emily hesitates for a moment. She places her hand low on Paige’s stomach. Paige’s heart is thundering in her chest, her eyes unable to look away from Emily’s hand.
She’s always loved the contrast of their skin. But now, she’s distracted by the blue.
Emily’s finger’s start drawing circles on Paige’s stomach, her other hand is resting on Paige’s shoulder, grounding her.
Emily’s breath is hot against Paige’s neck, “Is this,” Emily’s fingers drift lower, tracing the edge of a strap, “something you want?”
Paige lets out a shuddering breath. She swallows, desperate not to ruin this, to say the right thing, just this once.
“Yes.” Paige is shocked by the meekness of her own voice.
Emily’s lips are warm against her jaw and Paige is transfixed as Emily reaches down and wraps her hand around the shaft.
Paige stays perfectly still as Emily holds it. She’s startled by an embarrassed laugh, and it’s that that finally gets her to look at Emily’s face again.
Emily is blushing, smiling nervously.
“I’m not really sure what to do now…”
“You don’t have to do anything! I’m sorry, you don’t have to do this, god, I’m such a freak.”
Paige pulls away as she speaks, shaking her head. She starts yanking at the straps, fear and frustration showing in every move.
She’s stopped by Emily grabbing her hands, “Paige, calm down. You’re not a freak. I’m not doing anything I don’t want. It’s just… unfamiliar equipment.”
“Are you sure?”
Emily response is a passionate kiss. She grips Paige’s hair as Paige wraps her arms around Emily, only for them to jump apart when the dildo pokes Emily in the leg. They look at each other in embarrassment, and then burst into laughter.
Paige ruefully shook her head, “I can’t believe this.”
Emily laughed again, “Look, get on the bed, okay?”
Paige nodded, and then was distracted as Emily began to strip.
“On the bed, Paige!”
Emily quickly shed her clothes, and then crawled next to Paige. They lay on their sides facing each other. Paige reached out and traced a finger over Emily’s lips.
“You are so beautiful.”
The kiss is even more frantic this time, teeth and tongue and the pressure of the strap-on being pressed between them. They carry on like that for a while, getting lost in each other.
Paige reaches down, slips her hand between Emily’s legs and gasps into her mouth. Emily is wet and hot and ready for her. The confirmation Emily wants this, is not just doing it for her, makes Paige growl and roll on top.
She licks and bites at Emily’s neck and Emily scratches her nails down Paige’s back before reaching between them and grasping the shaft again.
“Paige, I think I’m ready,” Emily hesitates, as if trying to decide something, “Do we need a condom?”
Paige looks at her with confusion, and Emily blushes.
“I wasn’t sure how… real… you needed this to be.”
Paige lunges forward for a kiss, a thank you.
“I don’t need that. It’s not like I… I can’t explain why I like it, but I don’t need to feel like it’s real. This is enough. This so much more than I ever…”
Paige lets the sentence hang, unfinished.
“The manual did recommend lube though. It came with some.”
Page reaches into the draw next her bed, somehow no longer self-conscious of the blue phallus jutting out in front of her. She pours lube into her hand, coats the dildo in it, she’s rushing she knows, and Emily squeals when some of the lube drips onto her stomach.
“Sorry!”
Emily just giggles, pulls Paige back to her and Paige realises, this is it. She sits back on her haunches, takes in Emily, open and ready for her. She shuffles forward, leans over Emily and braces herself with one hand. The other she uses to start guiding herself inside.
Emily’s hands grip Paige’s hips tightly, and Paige pauses.
“Let me know if you want me to stop, any time, okay?”
Emily nods, looking nervous for the first time during this whole surreal situation Paige has found herself in.
Paige wants to kiss her, but she is terrified of fumbling while trying to enter Emily, so she keeps her eyes firmly on what she is doing. She’s still shaking too much, and Emily ends up having to help.
It’s a new sensation, pushing into Emily this way. Watching as the dildo disappears into Emily makes Paige hold her breath, makes every part of her hum. Once she’s sure she won’t slip out she looks at Emily face. Emily’s eyes are squeezed shut, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.
“Emily?”
Emily’s eyes open slowly.
“Move.”
Paige panics, pulls out, rolls to her side, “Oh god, did I hurt you? I’m so sorry!”
Emily looks frustrated, “No! I meant… move, in me. It was… different, but good. Really good.”
Paige squeeze her eyes shut, “This is not going well.”
Emily kisses her forehead and strokes her hair.
“It’s fine, get back over here.”
She pulls Paige back on top of her, and Paige watches Emily’s face as she enters her this time. They share brief, loving kisses as Paige awkwardly thrusts her hips, trying to get used to this new way of moving. She adjusts herself slightly and Emily gasps and widens her eyes.
Paige has never felt like more of a rock star.
Then Emily wraps her legs around Paige’s hips, and Paige loses all control. Her hips move wildly and she can hear herself making louds grunts that she never has before. Emily moves her body against Paige’s, canting her hips.
Paige can feel Emily becoming more frantic below her when suddenly she comes. She stills, as far inside Emily as she can get, and tries to remember to breathe.
Emily patiently strokes her back for several minutes, then clears her throat.
“Um, Paige?”
“Urgh.”
“Paige, I haven’t… and I’m really close.”
Which is when Paige realises she’s the female version of a premature ejaculator. Of course she is.
“I’m sorry,” She begins, pushing herself up onto her elbows.
“Don’t apologise, fix it.”
And Paige would laugh at the almost angry look on Emily’s face, but she has a job to finish. She starts rocking into Emily again, long, controlled strokes this time. She uses her hand to massage Emily’s clit and Emily quickly comes apart beneath her.
They stay connected like that for a while, Emily holding Paige close to her.
Paige lifts her head to see Emily’s face, “Okay?”
Emily’s smile makes Paige’s heart beat faster.
“You’re pretty good at that, McCullers.”
They remove it together - Emily examining it with fascination - and then lay wrapped in each other’s arms, eventually falling asleep. There are no blondes in Paige’s dreams, just blue water and Emily.