[Fanfic] Meeting on the top of the world
Title: Meeting on the top of the world
Pairings: Ryopi
Genre: romance, angst
Rating: PG-13 (for swearing, sorry for that)
Disclaimer: I own those guys only in my imagination.
Summary: They were strangers but they met. Two guys who were looking for change. Maybe they are their change? Because in reality they are just a complex people, sweetheart.
World looks much better from his spot. Calmness, silent. Everything is on the better side. Even people don’t irritate him. When he comes to the edge of the roof, only wind reminds him that it’s not the end, not yet. But soon it will be over. Just few more steps, few steps and finally he will be free. He will be able to fly. It’s almost there…
“Don’t do this!”
He looks around but no one is there. Maybe it’s his conscience trying to tell him that it’s a mistake, that he should stop, but even conscience can be ignore.
“Don’t jump!”
Now he definitely know that it’s not his mind that plays tricks on him. And then he see that other man. On another roof, still with cigarette between fingers.
“It’s not worth!”
He feels that this man deserves his answers, so he shouts back.
“What is not worth?”
“What you want to do!”
“How do you know?”
“I was there too!”
He sees that the other starts to laugh.
“Why you’re laughing? Shouldn’t you save me?”
“This situation… Two men on the different roofs, shouting to each other… Come on! It’s easy. Just make a one step backward. I’m sure that you made it before.”
--------------
Maybe it’s fate that he meet that men, maybe it will be better, maybe there still is a chance for him, maybe he never wanted to do that but he just waited for someone who would stop him. So he makes a one step, step that will bring him changes.
He wants to know who is that man, maybe thanks him, but when he raises his head, he sees no one. Only that cigarette, still smoldering, reminds Ryo that it wasn’t only his imagination.
------------
His life isn’t so bad. It always could be worst. But then sometimes people reach some kind of point in their life when they just don’t have enough strength to keep on like before. Every step is like a torture, job is full of pointless tasks, even at home they can’t be themselves with grumpy wives, with mothers who only know how to butt in everything else what don’t concern them.
Ryo is just drained. He can’t remember time when he was walking straighten, because now he only can harrows his feet. Job… he goes there because he have to eat something. Wife? It all ended when he found her with some guy. In their bed. Now they are just a inhabitants, strangers under same roof. He could move out, but for what? He get roof under his head, just a place to sleep.
He’s tired of lying. Every time when someone ask him how is he feeling, Ryo lies, every time when he’s with his family he lies. Sometimes he wonders if he still know himself, like he’s stuck behind glass wall, always one step behind, when his other self is part of this false world.
So he decided on that step. Everything for stopping all this shit, all this lies, all this feelings of hunger for more. He really thought that it was the best what he could do, but now he thinks that he always was a coward.
It’s really good that that guy stopped him, he was saved from the biggest mistake in his life. And that guy… Ryo wants to talk with him, say thanks, ask him what does that means when he told that he was there too. But he never saw him again. Every day on the same roof, on the same time… but he never came.
Even the cigarette is missing somewhere.
-------------------
It’s late hours but Ryo always liked sitting in bar when people are sleepily and only sound of music and whispers is all what he can hear. It’s his time, his moment of relax. With one hand on his glass with drink, everything what he can think about is…
“I’m glad that you are ok.”
Ryo looks up because he knows this voice. And it’s him, it’s that guy who haunts Ryo in his dreams.
“So you listened to me. That’s good.”
Situation is a bit surreal for Ryo, because when he finally see him, all thing that he wanted to say to him are gone.
“I was looking for you, you know? Every day I thought that maybe you will be there.”
Stranger looks at him with smile that hides mystery and all truths of the world and Ryo thinks that it is something what he can get used to.
“It wasn’t my place to be. You were just addition.”
“…”
“I was waiting for someone and then I went to smoke and to tell you the truth, I never thought that I will see when someone wants to kill himself. What are you drinking?”
“Scotch.”
“Barman, the same for me.”
They are waiting until they got their drinks. The latter sits next to Ryo and it’s quiet. Some companionable silence.
“Why you here? Don’t you have any friends?”
“I was bored. So here I am.”
“Thanks… for stopping me.”
“Nah… It was long ago and never happened.”
“I’m Ryo. Nishikido Ryo.”
“Nice to meet you… again. Yamashita Tomohisa. You can call me Yamapi. So it’s Ryo-chan.”
“Ryo-chan?”
“You look like one.”
--------------
Two strangers meet on the roofs, two strangers who theoretically are never suppose to meet again, two strangers run into each other in some filthy bar at the edge of the world. It’s strange acquaintance, like people who maybe should be friends but their proximity can bring bad luck, maybe even some things that are wild and dangerous. But Ryo is drowning and now he can’t remember how it was before he met Yamapi.
Ryo never asked him why Pi joined him at that night, he could go away but still he is with him. Ryo never asked him why, because he’s just scared that once again all what’s waiting for him is disappointment.
Every day they meet at the same bar, every day they talk about their job, about their problems, about their needs. It’s not like they are shy, no, they both feel like they know each other since the creation of the humanity.
“You told me that you were there too.”
“I did?”
“Yeah, that day.”
“…”
“So?”
“Few years ago I wasn’t the same as I am now. You can laugh at me but I was a really funny guy, maybe I even could annoy you… I got wife, I loved her very much. She was like sun in my life and I could do anything for her. I was happy… we were happy… but it all ended. Some drunk fucker attacked her when she was going home from some meeting with her friends… you know, just for few dollars… but she fought back, she was brave, but not enough. He killed her and I lost her.” He stops his story to drag on a cigarette. Irreplaceable addiction. “I couldn’t manage on my own. The police got him but I wanted kill him. I though that if I do that then maybe it will be better. But I was really tired, I had enough of live and I thought that maybe there wasn’t any possibility for change, that maybe I should kill myself.”
“So why are you here?”
“I was like you. Standing at the edge… but then I though that it’s not fair. Why she died? Why should I kill myself when that asshole was still alive? So I moved back.” He looks at Ryo with that wicked smile. “Shouldn’t you be grateful that I’m so smart?”
“Shut up.”
And Ryo feels grateful but maybe that’s the problem. Now he have someone too, someone who will hear him out, someone who will be with him when he have a bad day. If there is one thing that Ryo is thankful for, it’s for sure his encounter with Pi.
------------
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m not. Well… maybe a little.”
“You don’t have to go back home. Go with me.”
“I don’t know if I should.”
“Are you scared?”
“Go and die you asshole.”
“Ah… Don’t you love me?”
And Ryo should mock, he should bark something but that’s a question on which he don’t have a answer. He’s afraid that maybe indeed that’s the truth, maybe indeed he loves him. Those few months, since that night, are like time of rebirth. The only face that Ryo can see in the crowd, belongs to Yamapi, whenever he hears some stupid melody that sticks in his head, he thinks of Yamapi. He feels like teenager and they can call him crazy but he’s just not himself anymore.
In the end he goes with Pi. It’s late, people are sleeping and so he should, but Ryo can only think that Yamapi looks beautiful in the gleam of streets lights and shops neons. That scares him too, but maybe he’s really drunk.
It’s small flat but full of some kind of charm. For Ryo it’s essence of Pi, every single thing screams that it belongs to Yamapi and Ryo thinks that he could be one of those things. Another though that scares him..
Few flowers, few photos of Pi and his wife, few clothes scattered across room. One bed that entices him and his fantasies.
“Are you hungry?”
“Just tired.”
“Oh… Wait, I will give you something for change.”
“Thanks. Where’s bathroom?”
“Behind you.”
Inside the bathroom Ryo tries to calm himself, slows down his breathing and pulse. Cold shower will help. He feels water on his body and it’s good, really good. He wants to sober because he thinks that’s now his moment for acting and all those things that he need to say… he has to be aware of every single detail.
When he’s in the bedroom all what he can see is Yamapi, lost somewhere at the borderline of reality and dreams. Image of peace, of easygoing pace, of every thing that matters to him. Ryo is nervous when he lies next to Yamapi. Even if he don’t say a thing, warmth that he feels is intoxicating and Ryo isn’t sure if he will ever be able to leave this room because only one thing is important to him…
… to get closer.
“Pi…”
“…”
“Pi, don’t sleep.”
“What?”
“I want to tell you something.”
“Then tell me.”
“But you have to promise me that nothing will change between us.”
“Ryo-chan…”
All courage in one place.
“I… I think that I love you.”
It’s hard to speak when all what Ryo can see are those dark eyes, eyes full of mysterious spells.
“Look… I… you… What I want to say is that I really love you and it’s not a simple fascination, it’s something more.”
“Ryo-chan…”
“And you don’t have to feel the same, I just wanted to tell you that. So…”
“Ryo!”
“You’re mad, right? Disgust?”
One hand on his arm, million thought in his head.
“I’m not. I doubt that I will ever be mad at you.”
One smile which tells him that’s all right.
“But Ryo… I don’t know if I can love someone again.”
One sentence that shakes his world.
“I understand…”
“You don’t. Look… Loving someone… it scares me that I can lose it again, but… I like you, very much. Maybe I’m falling in love with you.”
One word that changes ways of perceive.
“Maybe?”
“It was long ago… I can’t describe what I’m feeling but I’m fascinated by you. I just don’t know if that’s enough for you.”
“… we can try.”
One kiss which leaves all behind them.
--------------
That bar belongs to past, Yamapi’s bed is the present. Ryo knows that kisses are better fate than wisdom because they are like a wonder that’s keeping the planets apart. He tells himself that he should be scared, that it’s too good. He’s stuck in trans, sharing addiction with Pi, addiction that letting them make timeless love.
Ryo feels like superman, totally indestructible. Yamapi extended life line on Ryo’s palm by waterproof pen and there is no force able to wipe it out. Not his wife, not his obligations, not even death.
He knows that beauty is an seraph of doom and that greed is the only thing that he can’t bring under control but he can’t stop. Maybe his wife knows, her pathetic smirks are saying more than any action, but he still allows the secrets sits silently in the dark corner and knows.
The blues is still having someone who he loves and not enough strength to immerse himself in reality.
--------------
“I’m leaving her.”
They lying in the bed, still tired and a bit sleepy. Silence echoes in small room.
“Why?”
And silence is defeated.
“I have enough. Every time when I see her I feel sick”
“But why now?”
“Because we rock all foundation when we kiss.”
Sentence that cost Ryo a bit too much. He always was a shy guy and in some way he hates Pi, he hates what he had done with him.
True that he accepted reality, true that he thought that he could keep on like this, but in the end Ryo can’t lie anymore, at least not to himself.
“And what will you do?”
“Can I live here? I’m already a guest in my house.”
“...”
“Oh for fuck sake! Get a grip on yourself Pi! You told me that I should take one step backward but you should take one step forward!”
Ryo stands up, full of anger. He thinks that maybe it’s the end, maybe he should keep his mouth shout but at least all what he done was sincere. He just listened to his heart.
He never was a patience person, he can’t wait endlessly. Maybe Ryo just can’t change what’s irreversible. But it hurts, like hell, maybe even worst.
And then he feels those arms around his waist, he can only leans in that. Resistance? Never existed.
“We’re sleeping together, we share our lives. What more do you want Pi?”
“Why?”
“What why?”
“Why you didn’t notice that I already moved forward?”
Ryo can’t turn around. He can’t show his face to Pi. Maybe he was always drunk? Maybe he was always sleeping?
“Maybe I’m blind?”
“But you opened my eyes, so why you can't see?”
Message that’s deliver.
“So…”
“… leave her. Her loss, my gain.”
“I love you too, asshole.”
“You are such a sap, Ryo-chan.”
And everything is on right spot.
------------
There are no such things as strangers, random people, only friends, soulmate we haven’t met yet. So let go of your eyes, let go of your ears. They know that they are doing, even if we don’t.
A/N: I was inspired by a movie “City Rats”. I saw it and thought “Hey, I can write something about them. Maybe I will not screw up.” Oh, and please, don’t watch this movie (unless you wanna have a bad day and millions thoughts in head). And if you want see it, then don’t say that I don’t warn you.
Anyway, as always I hope that you like it xD
Pairings: Ryopi
Genre: romance, angst
Rating: PG-13 (for swearing, sorry for that)
Disclaimer: I own those guys only in my imagination.
Summary: They were strangers but they met. Two guys who were looking for change. Maybe they are their change? Because in reality they are just a complex people, sweetheart.
World looks much better from his spot. Calmness, silent. Everything is on the better side. Even people don’t irritate him. When he comes to the edge of the roof, only wind reminds him that it’s not the end, not yet. But soon it will be over. Just few more steps, few steps and finally he will be free. He will be able to fly. It’s almost there…
“Don’t do this!”
He looks around but no one is there. Maybe it’s his conscience trying to tell him that it’s a mistake, that he should stop, but even conscience can be ignore.
“Don’t jump!”
Now he definitely know that it’s not his mind that plays tricks on him. And then he see that other man. On another roof, still with cigarette between fingers.
“It’s not worth!”
He feels that this man deserves his answers, so he shouts back.
“What is not worth?”
“What you want to do!”
“How do you know?”
“I was there too!”
He sees that the other starts to laugh.
“Why you’re laughing? Shouldn’t you save me?”
“This situation… Two men on the different roofs, shouting to each other… Come on! It’s easy. Just make a one step backward. I’m sure that you made it before.”
--------------
Maybe it’s fate that he meet that men, maybe it will be better, maybe there still is a chance for him, maybe he never wanted to do that but he just waited for someone who would stop him. So he makes a one step, step that will bring him changes.
He wants to know who is that man, maybe thanks him, but when he raises his head, he sees no one. Only that cigarette, still smoldering, reminds Ryo that it wasn’t only his imagination.
------------
His life isn’t so bad. It always could be worst. But then sometimes people reach some kind of point in their life when they just don’t have enough strength to keep on like before. Every step is like a torture, job is full of pointless tasks, even at home they can’t be themselves with grumpy wives, with mothers who only know how to butt in everything else what don’t concern them.
Ryo is just drained. He can’t remember time when he was walking straighten, because now he only can harrows his feet. Job… he goes there because he have to eat something. Wife? It all ended when he found her with some guy. In their bed. Now they are just a inhabitants, strangers under same roof. He could move out, but for what? He get roof under his head, just a place to sleep.
He’s tired of lying. Every time when someone ask him how is he feeling, Ryo lies, every time when he’s with his family he lies. Sometimes he wonders if he still know himself, like he’s stuck behind glass wall, always one step behind, when his other self is part of this false world.
So he decided on that step. Everything for stopping all this shit, all this lies, all this feelings of hunger for more. He really thought that it was the best what he could do, but now he thinks that he always was a coward.
It’s really good that that guy stopped him, he was saved from the biggest mistake in his life. And that guy… Ryo wants to talk with him, say thanks, ask him what does that means when he told that he was there too. But he never saw him again. Every day on the same roof, on the same time… but he never came.
Even the cigarette is missing somewhere.
-------------------
It’s late hours but Ryo always liked sitting in bar when people are sleepily and only sound of music and whispers is all what he can hear. It’s his time, his moment of relax. With one hand on his glass with drink, everything what he can think about is…
“I’m glad that you are ok.”
Ryo looks up because he knows this voice. And it’s him, it’s that guy who haunts Ryo in his dreams.
“So you listened to me. That’s good.”
Situation is a bit surreal for Ryo, because when he finally see him, all thing that he wanted to say to him are gone.
“I was looking for you, you know? Every day I thought that maybe you will be there.”
Stranger looks at him with smile that hides mystery and all truths of the world and Ryo thinks that it is something what he can get used to.
“It wasn’t my place to be. You were just addition.”
“…”
“I was waiting for someone and then I went to smoke and to tell you the truth, I never thought that I will see when someone wants to kill himself. What are you drinking?”
“Scotch.”
“Barman, the same for me.”
They are waiting until they got their drinks. The latter sits next to Ryo and it’s quiet. Some companionable silence.
“Why you here? Don’t you have any friends?”
“I was bored. So here I am.”
“Thanks… for stopping me.”
“Nah… It was long ago and never happened.”
“I’m Ryo. Nishikido Ryo.”
“Nice to meet you… again. Yamashita Tomohisa. You can call me Yamapi. So it’s Ryo-chan.”
“Ryo-chan?”
“You look like one.”
--------------
Two strangers meet on the roofs, two strangers who theoretically are never suppose to meet again, two strangers run into each other in some filthy bar at the edge of the world. It’s strange acquaintance, like people who maybe should be friends but their proximity can bring bad luck, maybe even some things that are wild and dangerous. But Ryo is drowning and now he can’t remember how it was before he met Yamapi.
Ryo never asked him why Pi joined him at that night, he could go away but still he is with him. Ryo never asked him why, because he’s just scared that once again all what’s waiting for him is disappointment.
Every day they meet at the same bar, every day they talk about their job, about their problems, about their needs. It’s not like they are shy, no, they both feel like they know each other since the creation of the humanity.
“You told me that you were there too.”
“I did?”
“Yeah, that day.”
“…”
“So?”
“Few years ago I wasn’t the same as I am now. You can laugh at me but I was a really funny guy, maybe I even could annoy you… I got wife, I loved her very much. She was like sun in my life and I could do anything for her. I was happy… we were happy… but it all ended. Some drunk fucker attacked her when she was going home from some meeting with her friends… you know, just for few dollars… but she fought back, she was brave, but not enough. He killed her and I lost her.” He stops his story to drag on a cigarette. Irreplaceable addiction. “I couldn’t manage on my own. The police got him but I wanted kill him. I though that if I do that then maybe it will be better. But I was really tired, I had enough of live and I thought that maybe there wasn’t any possibility for change, that maybe I should kill myself.”
“So why are you here?”
“I was like you. Standing at the edge… but then I though that it’s not fair. Why she died? Why should I kill myself when that asshole was still alive? So I moved back.” He looks at Ryo with that wicked smile. “Shouldn’t you be grateful that I’m so smart?”
“Shut up.”
And Ryo feels grateful but maybe that’s the problem. Now he have someone too, someone who will hear him out, someone who will be with him when he have a bad day. If there is one thing that Ryo is thankful for, it’s for sure his encounter with Pi.
------------
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m not. Well… maybe a little.”
“You don’t have to go back home. Go with me.”
“I don’t know if I should.”
“Are you scared?”
“Go and die you asshole.”
“Ah… Don’t you love me?”
And Ryo should mock, he should bark something but that’s a question on which he don’t have a answer. He’s afraid that maybe indeed that’s the truth, maybe indeed he loves him. Those few months, since that night, are like time of rebirth. The only face that Ryo can see in the crowd, belongs to Yamapi, whenever he hears some stupid melody that sticks in his head, he thinks of Yamapi. He feels like teenager and they can call him crazy but he’s just not himself anymore.
In the end he goes with Pi. It’s late, people are sleeping and so he should, but Ryo can only think that Yamapi looks beautiful in the gleam of streets lights and shops neons. That scares him too, but maybe he’s really drunk.
It’s small flat but full of some kind of charm. For Ryo it’s essence of Pi, every single thing screams that it belongs to Yamapi and Ryo thinks that he could be one of those things. Another though that scares him..
Few flowers, few photos of Pi and his wife, few clothes scattered across room. One bed that entices him and his fantasies.
“Are you hungry?”
“Just tired.”
“Oh… Wait, I will give you something for change.”
“Thanks. Where’s bathroom?”
“Behind you.”
Inside the bathroom Ryo tries to calm himself, slows down his breathing and pulse. Cold shower will help. He feels water on his body and it’s good, really good. He wants to sober because he thinks that’s now his moment for acting and all those things that he need to say… he has to be aware of every single detail.
When he’s in the bedroom all what he can see is Yamapi, lost somewhere at the borderline of reality and dreams. Image of peace, of easygoing pace, of every thing that matters to him. Ryo is nervous when he lies next to Yamapi. Even if he don’t say a thing, warmth that he feels is intoxicating and Ryo isn’t sure if he will ever be able to leave this room because only one thing is important to him…
… to get closer.
“Pi…”
“…”
“Pi, don’t sleep.”
“What?”
“I want to tell you something.”
“Then tell me.”
“But you have to promise me that nothing will change between us.”
“Ryo-chan…”
All courage in one place.
“I… I think that I love you.”
It’s hard to speak when all what Ryo can see are those dark eyes, eyes full of mysterious spells.
“Look… I… you… What I want to say is that I really love you and it’s not a simple fascination, it’s something more.”
“Ryo-chan…”
“And you don’t have to feel the same, I just wanted to tell you that. So…”
“Ryo!”
“You’re mad, right? Disgust?”
One hand on his arm, million thought in his head.
“I’m not. I doubt that I will ever be mad at you.”
One smile which tells him that’s all right.
“But Ryo… I don’t know if I can love someone again.”
One sentence that shakes his world.
“I understand…”
“You don’t. Look… Loving someone… it scares me that I can lose it again, but… I like you, very much. Maybe I’m falling in love with you.”
One word that changes ways of perceive.
“Maybe?”
“It was long ago… I can’t describe what I’m feeling but I’m fascinated by you. I just don’t know if that’s enough for you.”
“… we can try.”
One kiss which leaves all behind them.
--------------
That bar belongs to past, Yamapi’s bed is the present. Ryo knows that kisses are better fate than wisdom because they are like a wonder that’s keeping the planets apart. He tells himself that he should be scared, that it’s too good. He’s stuck in trans, sharing addiction with Pi, addiction that letting them make timeless love.
Ryo feels like superman, totally indestructible. Yamapi extended life line on Ryo’s palm by waterproof pen and there is no force able to wipe it out. Not his wife, not his obligations, not even death.
He knows that beauty is an seraph of doom and that greed is the only thing that he can’t bring under control but he can’t stop. Maybe his wife knows, her pathetic smirks are saying more than any action, but he still allows the secrets sits silently in the dark corner and knows.
The blues is still having someone who he loves and not enough strength to immerse himself in reality.
--------------
“I’m leaving her.”
They lying in the bed, still tired and a bit sleepy. Silence echoes in small room.
“Why?”
And silence is defeated.
“I have enough. Every time when I see her I feel sick”
“But why now?”
“Because we rock all foundation when we kiss.”
Sentence that cost Ryo a bit too much. He always was a shy guy and in some way he hates Pi, he hates what he had done with him.
True that he accepted reality, true that he thought that he could keep on like this, but in the end Ryo can’t lie anymore, at least not to himself.
“And what will you do?”
“Can I live here? I’m already a guest in my house.”
“...”
“Oh for fuck sake! Get a grip on yourself Pi! You told me that I should take one step backward but you should take one step forward!”
Ryo stands up, full of anger. He thinks that maybe it’s the end, maybe he should keep his mouth shout but at least all what he done was sincere. He just listened to his heart.
He never was a patience person, he can’t wait endlessly. Maybe Ryo just can’t change what’s irreversible. But it hurts, like hell, maybe even worst.
And then he feels those arms around his waist, he can only leans in that. Resistance? Never existed.
“We’re sleeping together, we share our lives. What more do you want Pi?”
“Why?”
“What why?”
“Why you didn’t notice that I already moved forward?”
Ryo can’t turn around. He can’t show his face to Pi. Maybe he was always drunk? Maybe he was always sleeping?
“Maybe I’m blind?”
“But you opened my eyes, so why you can't see?”
Message that’s deliver.
“So…”
“… leave her. Her loss, my gain.”
“I love you too, asshole.”
“You are such a sap, Ryo-chan.”
And everything is on right spot.
------------
There are no such things as strangers, random people, only friends, soulmate we haven’t met yet. So let go of your eyes, let go of your ears. They know that they are doing, even if we don’t.
A/N: I was inspired by a movie “City Rats”. I saw it and thought “Hey, I can write something about them. Maybe I will not screw up.” Oh, and please, don’t watch this movie (unless you wanna have a bad day and millions thoughts in head). And if you want see it, then don’t say that I don’t warn you.
Anyway, as always I hope that you like it xD