[Fanfic] The runner
Title: The runner
Pairings: Tomapi
Genre: friendship, angst
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own those guys only in my imagination.
I will tell you a story. It’s not a sad one, it’s not a happy one. Something common and yet unique. You can say that I’m not resolute but it’s something in between, really, I’m not lying. It’s just that that story didn’t end, everything is still on… So for a while just listen to me, even if there are no words, there are nothing what can describe them…
You see… they started together. Everything moved from the same spot or maybe even Toma was leading. No one could said how it was, because with time spaces between them were increasing and it looked like that action was unstoppable.
It was like someone, on the white sheet of paper, draw a straight line. Can you imagine it? At both sides were two figures, but not in the middle or even near it. They were standing at the ends, like they were defending their positions, or like they were running from each other. Everything depending on point of view. For me running is good, it says that something is alive, that there is a chance for success…
… that line was divided in two. At first those parts were equal, but with time, balance was disturbed and restoration it to its original form was on the verge of miraculous. It was like someone put a wall between them, or maybe it were obstacles in that race…
And Toma could only gritted his teeth and run faster.
--------------
Do you know that situation when you were taking a shower and by mistake you turned cold water tap? Because it was exactly like that, that time when 4TOPS was wiped out. The coldest shower in his entire life. Something what definitely wasn’t healthy, it rather brought Toma on the edge…
… but you see, he didn’t hang his head. He continued charming crowd. Ikuta Toma, a boy with that big smile and with endearing personality, someone who fans couldn’t imagine depressed because it just somehow didn’t fit him (and so what that he was just another living person, like you and me, for them it was beyond belief, it didn’t fit to their imaginations, so they were right).
But then, when he was alone, in that space for himself, away from crowds, Toma cried, because his barriers were destroyed and he didn’t knew how repair it, how to stop his tears. Always alone, because he never showed that side to anybody, even he didn’t know why, but that how things were back then. But when you think about it, do you really think that pat on shoulder, saying “Everything will be all right” or “Don’t worry” would change anything?
(Can you understand it? Because I can… Those times when your room was the only right place for you, when you just want to hide in the corner and wait for rescue or for the end of the world, whatever will be first … )
Maybe he though that he had to be strong, not for himself, but for Kazama, for Hasejun, for Pi. And you see? Especially for him, because Toma knew that something changed between them, that Yamashita already gave up when he was taken away and even if none of them said what they thought, they both knew that nothing will be the same as before.
Yamapi was like a freaking wave. Always in motion, unable to stop when he was clinging at the ladder of hierarchy. Covered in that layer of success, of hopes, of everything what was expected from him. He started his run and everything got out of his way. And Toma too, because he always got tendency to sacrifice himself. Stupid? I agree…
They were afraid and young and silly and so cautious and yet none on them was able to took a step backwards or forward, to thought why and where they were and what the hell was the meaning of that distance in between… But the thing was, that together they were so much more and maybe just doors were closed, maybe there still was a open window…
Toma was aware of events but unable to recoil the details. You think why? Because they were humans too and neither of them was perfect (and that was exactly what Toma loved). Without single smile, even if they were desperate for it, without single touch, even if they only wanted to feel something… Silent communication and yet somehow it worked… Maybe because of them? Maybe if it was you and me, everything will be now crushed…
But that was ok, they got time for themselves. The thing was that it was already too late for them. But hey, not in bad way. It was too late to forget (because yes, that thought crossed their mind). How could they do that if they were already captivated (and it was a pattern, something obvious and yet almost not perceptible).
Toma hated defeats, there was too many of it in his life and he just couldn’t help it, but slowly, step by step, he moved and somehow, on that piece of paper, those figures were closer, even if obstacle never disappeared…
There were his new chances, something what let him “be” and that was all what he wanted. It was like he was catching up to that other figure and even if sometimes he was without breath, totally exhausted, it was worth. He existed.
Do you know that feeling when you almost have something in your grasp but it slipped away? Because of the wind, because of someone who just passed by, because your hand was too short? Toma felt that way too, except that he didn’t just brush back of the other, he really held it but Yamashita sped up again… He could only speed up too.
It wasn’t important that he ran and ran and ran. He was used to it, how could he stop? That picture changed and that was important. Not Toma, not Yamashita. Nothing like that. “They” were important, and once in the lifetime and indescribable. Like two jigsaw puzzle when there were millions but somehow they were those that matched. And hey, I never said that they formed a self-contained whole, but isn’t this beautiful? For me it is, because we don’t know what we will do tomorrow, if we should bring an umbrella or not… but I know one thing, that they will never lost sight of the other. Never… well at least as long as they will continue that run…
Part two (Pi's point of vision) is Here
Pairings: Tomapi
Genre: friendship, angst
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I own those guys only in my imagination.
I will tell you a story. It’s not a sad one, it’s not a happy one. Something common and yet unique. You can say that I’m not resolute but it’s something in between, really, I’m not lying. It’s just that that story didn’t end, everything is still on… So for a while just listen to me, even if there are no words, there are nothing what can describe them…
You see… they started together. Everything moved from the same spot or maybe even Toma was leading. No one could said how it was, because with time spaces between them were increasing and it looked like that action was unstoppable.
It was like someone, on the white sheet of paper, draw a straight line. Can you imagine it? At both sides were two figures, but not in the middle or even near it. They were standing at the ends, like they were defending their positions, or like they were running from each other. Everything depending on point of view. For me running is good, it says that something is alive, that there is a chance for success…
… that line was divided in two. At first those parts were equal, but with time, balance was disturbed and restoration it to its original form was on the verge of miraculous. It was like someone put a wall between them, or maybe it were obstacles in that race…
And Toma could only gritted his teeth and run faster.
--------------
Do you know that situation when you were taking a shower and by mistake you turned cold water tap? Because it was exactly like that, that time when 4TOPS was wiped out. The coldest shower in his entire life. Something what definitely wasn’t healthy, it rather brought Toma on the edge…
… but you see, he didn’t hang his head. He continued charming crowd. Ikuta Toma, a boy with that big smile and with endearing personality, someone who fans couldn’t imagine depressed because it just somehow didn’t fit him (and so what that he was just another living person, like you and me, for them it was beyond belief, it didn’t fit to their imaginations, so they were right).
But then, when he was alone, in that space for himself, away from crowds, Toma cried, because his barriers were destroyed and he didn’t knew how repair it, how to stop his tears. Always alone, because he never showed that side to anybody, even he didn’t know why, but that how things were back then. But when you think about it, do you really think that pat on shoulder, saying “Everything will be all right” or “Don’t worry” would change anything?
(Can you understand it? Because I can… Those times when your room was the only right place for you, when you just want to hide in the corner and wait for rescue or for the end of the world, whatever will be first … )
Maybe he though that he had to be strong, not for himself, but for Kazama, for Hasejun, for Pi. And you see? Especially for him, because Toma knew that something changed between them, that Yamashita already gave up when he was taken away and even if none of them said what they thought, they both knew that nothing will be the same as before.
Yamapi was like a freaking wave. Always in motion, unable to stop when he was clinging at the ladder of hierarchy. Covered in that layer of success, of hopes, of everything what was expected from him. He started his run and everything got out of his way. And Toma too, because he always got tendency to sacrifice himself. Stupid? I agree…
They were afraid and young and silly and so cautious and yet none on them was able to took a step backwards or forward, to thought why and where they were and what the hell was the meaning of that distance in between… But the thing was, that together they were so much more and maybe just doors were closed, maybe there still was a open window…
Toma was aware of events but unable to recoil the details. You think why? Because they were humans too and neither of them was perfect (and that was exactly what Toma loved). Without single smile, even if they were desperate for it, without single touch, even if they only wanted to feel something… Silent communication and yet somehow it worked… Maybe because of them? Maybe if it was you and me, everything will be now crushed…
But that was ok, they got time for themselves. The thing was that it was already too late for them. But hey, not in bad way. It was too late to forget (because yes, that thought crossed their mind). How could they do that if they were already captivated (and it was a pattern, something obvious and yet almost not perceptible).
Toma hated defeats, there was too many of it in his life and he just couldn’t help it, but slowly, step by step, he moved and somehow, on that piece of paper, those figures were closer, even if obstacle never disappeared…
There were his new chances, something what let him “be” and that was all what he wanted. It was like he was catching up to that other figure and even if sometimes he was without breath, totally exhausted, it was worth. He existed.
Do you know that feeling when you almost have something in your grasp but it slipped away? Because of the wind, because of someone who just passed by, because your hand was too short? Toma felt that way too, except that he didn’t just brush back of the other, he really held it but Yamashita sped up again… He could only speed up too.
It wasn’t important that he ran and ran and ran. He was used to it, how could he stop? That picture changed and that was important. Not Toma, not Yamashita. Nothing like that. “They” were important, and once in the lifetime and indescribable. Like two jigsaw puzzle when there were millions but somehow they were those that matched. And hey, I never said that they formed a self-contained whole, but isn’t this beautiful? For me it is, because we don’t know what we will do tomorrow, if we should bring an umbrella or not… but I know one thing, that they will never lost sight of the other. Never… well at least as long as they will continue that run…
Part two (Pi's point of vision) is Here