I am just not that cool anymore-
How is it that five years ago I was totally awesome, motivated, creative and not too horribly depressed. I seem to be just a faint shadow of my former self. Everything that I stood for doesn't mean all that much to me. I don't like the person that I have become. Life is just not as exciting as it used to be. I fear that I have given up too much
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I'm afraid I really can't say much, because I don't know all the particulars, but I am going to try what I CAN say, and I hope it turns out right:
I'm sorry you feel so down. It happens to everyone though. It sounds like you've had some pretty bad things happen-whatever they are-but think about this: you've survived it all. I am a true believer in 'that which does not kill you, makes you stronger.'
I understand that it can be hard to open yourself back up to life and/or love after being hurt, but sometimes that is just what you have to do. When you close yourself off, you shut out everything, good things included. As for your friend...well, maybe it will be what you want someday. You said she is still pretty young, she could learn that she feels more for you than she thinks right now.
This is my way of trying to give you a little bit of hope back. ...I hope it works.
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