i've missed you,
the old you.
it's good to know
my best friend
is still in there
somewhere!

i feel like bukowski.
writing while i'm stoned out of my mind.

euphoric.

i wonder if i will ever find something real.

i want to know what that feels like.

my favorite thing to do is over analyze anything and everything.

i still wonder what would have happened

4 years ago today

if you had not found me.

or what you would've told them.

IOU.

you're right.
this is a risk i have to take.
this opportunity was given to me
by pure luck
or so it seems
and i can't throw it away.

i'm trying to enjoy what is now
but i can't help but focus on the future.
the future is so fucking close.

and i'm so fucking scared.

these next few months are going to fly by
and i'm not so sure i want them to.

I am so fucking giddy right now.

I can't stand it!
(in a crazy good way, obviously)

this is
fucking bliss.

no one is what they seem anymore.

depressingg

all i wanna do is puke right now ( Read more... )

all of my entries are so ridiculously gay
lovelove love it.
hahahahahaha

i'm feelin a little more relieved.
knowing it isn't going to happen again

yet i will miss it in a strange
fucking way.
interpret that however you'd like.

whatever

i want to make a shout to mah girl MJ on tha reeeels.
's all i know

back to how it used to be.

i always feel as though somethings missing.
i want that empty feeling gone.
and i don't know how to make it stop.

i know
that soon enough
it'll eventually stop
i just wish it would sooner.

i hate feeling like this
and
i've done an amazing job at hiding it.

blah