(no subject)
This is long and I didn't intend it to be, so I don't expect anyone to read it. It's kind of just for me to say it all and not be telling the same person over and over.
I'm tired. I'm happy. I'm anxious. I know God will do things in His time.
I don't think anyone understands that I'm not mad, nothings wrong, I'm just worn out. It's not with people, it's just coming out as frustration towards people, even friends. I can't take it out on school because I will fail. I can't take it out on being at work all the time or I won't have any money. Taking it out on people is the last thing I want to be doing. I love everyone in my life so much and I'm so grateful for them.
I've met so many amazing people lately and that shouldn't upset me, but I feel like I don't even want people to be meeting me for the first time right now. I feel like saying, just wait, just wait until summer, I promise I'll be better then. I've never been this frustrated for no reason or this quick to get upset. Granted, before I was probably too relaxed about everything and avoided talking about my feelings too much, but now I'm even annoyed with myself.
I understand that it's part of growing up to have to give up doing things when responsibilities start increasing. I don't typically consider myself a jealous person, but lately I find myself getting upset that some people don't have to work or have weekends off when I have to work. I think I'm being ridicculous and I even see it as selfish.
People make fun of me for being on the internet so much. I have the internet on my phone and I'm at work or school all the time. I'm sorry if you think it's dorky, but most the people that pick on me for it are the same ones that use it as their main form of communication with me. If it wasn't for the interent, I wouldn't know that some of you are even alive and I probably would be left with the friends that also share some of the same responsibilities as myself.
I'm not shy and I'll talk about anything with you now, but groups still freak me out.
For the first time in my life I can say that I know everything will be o.k. I'm not giving up and I definitely don't feel sorry for myself. My faith is increasing by the day and I know things need to change, I'm just waiting for this anxiety to subside. I'm not sure how, but I really feel like through my impatience God has so much patience waiting for me as soon as I can chill out.
So all in all, after saying all this, I just want to say that I'm going to make an effort to not talk about this ever again, because it's not really the biggest part of my life, I just let it be sometimes.
I'm tired. I'm happy. I'm anxious. I know God will do things in His time.
I don't think anyone understands that I'm not mad, nothings wrong, I'm just worn out. It's not with people, it's just coming out as frustration towards people, even friends. I can't take it out on school because I will fail. I can't take it out on being at work all the time or I won't have any money. Taking it out on people is the last thing I want to be doing. I love everyone in my life so much and I'm so grateful for them.
I've met so many amazing people lately and that shouldn't upset me, but I feel like I don't even want people to be meeting me for the first time right now. I feel like saying, just wait, just wait until summer, I promise I'll be better then. I've never been this frustrated for no reason or this quick to get upset. Granted, before I was probably too relaxed about everything and avoided talking about my feelings too much, but now I'm even annoyed with myself.
I understand that it's part of growing up to have to give up doing things when responsibilities start increasing. I don't typically consider myself a jealous person, but lately I find myself getting upset that some people don't have to work or have weekends off when I have to work. I think I'm being ridicculous and I even see it as selfish.
People make fun of me for being on the internet so much. I have the internet on my phone and I'm at work or school all the time. I'm sorry if you think it's dorky, but most the people that pick on me for it are the same ones that use it as their main form of communication with me. If it wasn't for the interent, I wouldn't know that some of you are even alive and I probably would be left with the friends that also share some of the same responsibilities as myself.
I'm not shy and I'll talk about anything with you now, but groups still freak me out.
For the first time in my life I can say that I know everything will be o.k. I'm not giving up and I definitely don't feel sorry for myself. My faith is increasing by the day and I know things need to change, I'm just waiting for this anxiety to subside. I'm not sure how, but I really feel like through my impatience God has so much patience waiting for me as soon as I can chill out.
So all in all, after saying all this, I just want to say that I'm going to make an effort to not talk about this ever again, because it's not really the biggest part of my life, I just let it be sometimes.