(no subject)
modest mouse- float on
modest mouse- world at large
arctic monkeys- i bet you look good on the dancefloor
arctic monkeys- when the sun goes down
panic! at the disco- lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off
ben harper- please bleed
third eye blind- jumper
don't look down- start the show
fall out boy- the pros and cons of breathing
fall out boy- the music or the misery
panic! at the disco- relax, relapse
fall out boy- love will tear us apart
panic! at the disco- nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks
bright eyes- first day of my life
download any of these artists, you won't be disappointed
on other news...
i've been doing ok tonight and last night. surrounding myself with things that make me happy has done me some good, though i've figured out really what's been on my mind and causing a lot of trouble for me
i'm trapped in my own life
a lot of the time recently i've been feeling like i want to die, but the problem is that i can't try to kill myself again because i'm scared of dying. it hurts too much to live, but i don't want to stop living
therein lies my problem
so i'm going around in this depressed stupor and i can't do anything about it. i'm back on my meds, i'm seeing my counsellor regularly, and i'm trying, but short of me magically getting a hospital admission (which i've been seriously thinking about lately) or me offing myself, this feeling is going to continue for a long while
i went back to tafe today and i was totally ignored by one of my "friends". i hate that feeling. just because i'm going through something you don't understand doesn't give you any reason to judge me. so now i'm back at the point where i have days when i just don't want to or can't go to tafe cos i can't handle it, but when i do go back, everyone just totally ignores me or is pissed off at me, which makes going back even harder. and the cycle continues
i want to be saved