Ten Fucking Years Later
Still filled with incoherence, lots of flails, and basically so much blessing that I'm still here, under the same vast sky, breathing, 生きているよ！
As I don't have any solid plan for today--except for setting my alarm for 嵐〜記念日, I'm just going with feelings, writing while relaxing because bless Chinese New Year, and ending tonight with lots of cold beer because I deserve them.
10 year!
10 year to the dot since that Step and Go performance at Music Station that sealed my fate.
10 year since Sho in that white tanks looking like the neighbourhood bad boy and I swooned so hard, like why am I like this I don't omggg he looks so good and everything, and yeah, the rest was history. Step and Go has been a great milestone, and I often listened to it just for the special occasion.
We're gonna step and go to brand new story. I wrote a special anniversary post back in '13 albeit short, celebrating 5th year of being a fan. Man, the first five year seemed like a long while but the second five years went in a true flash. Sad that it was still in analog era so there's no clear .ts quality video but it is something that made me cherish this memory even more. Yeah, as everyone who were here since the single digit arashi year, I had to deal with the sad and excruciating internet speed, the medium quality video, the very limited source, and all 日本語. I still remember dearly all my heroes, those who translated and subbed stuff back in the days, without you guys I wouldn't be here.
I'm gonna go there with my memories. I remember how I wanted to have this song at a con DVD and got my wish at that first Kokuritsu. It was glorious. And now that I am fortunate enough to have attended more than one Arashi concert, I still haven't gotten this one live. So, for the next time, whenever that is, I am still hoping to listen to this song and enjoy Sho's rap part (one of my most favorites) live. It'd be a glorious and fine day.
10 years is no joke. I met Arashi during what I can say now as my darkest year of life, finishing long and draining projects and still trembling with uncertainty, working toward the unseen future. They stayed with me, as I wound my way through a transit job. They were with me as I scrambled to work on to a more firm and solid foundation of my film career. They were still with me when I finally solidify my path in this teaching (lifetime) job. I had D no Arashi at the end of my worst days and they were a true entertainment. I cried so hard when Shukudai-kun ended. I thoroughly enjoyed Himitsu no Arashi till its sweet ending. I wade through a blogspot, an LJ, and now a dreamwidth and twitter account. I am still here with my weekly fix of VS and Shiyagare, knowing that they are a true constant of my days, even at their worst and moreover at their best. I have known Japanese television more than my own native television; a fact that sometimes I proudly proclaimed while other time saddened me greatly.
10 years and still counting. I had Beautiful World album at time of the busiest and most important production time of my film career. I blubbered at that Kokuritsu hearing Jun's speech and listening to a live version of 5x10. I had Everything as one of the song that got me through the fear of diving head first into this teaching job. I went through two Macbooks, three iPods, and now on my new iPhone with Arashi. I survived school and wrote my thesis with the company of GUTS. I cried my heart out with Nino's どこにでもある唄 during one of the worst time of my life. I had Ohno's Take Me Faraway on loop on those horrible commuting days. Aiba taught me to keep smiling. Jun said we're under the same sky and it'd be alright, and also at the end to do nothing else but enjoy every second of it. Sho has been my 灯台, bighearted and strong even with tears when the moment strikes.
10 fucking years, can you believe it. It's probably one of my longest relationship. I ship. I love. I stay. I am grateful. I will forever be grateful. I know this is not forever, but this 10 years of Arashi has been nothing but a true blessing. I can definitely say I won't be here, in this state of mind, with this level of confidence, if it weren't for these 5 guys. L dragged me into this, bless her kind soul. L stay with me. L sometimes veers off because we both have our lives, but we can meet at one time and find our space together. Arashi has been one of our constants, and while I firmly believe our friendship is rock solid, I do think it's still going strong as it is now partly because of Arashi. I want keep this bond for as long as I am able. It requires lots of work, as any other bond does, but we can now say that we're going to be make it through somehow. We know each other, we know our own pace. We know what we are, what we want, what we are trying to be. Things are good.
10 years, and now I am here. I have a permanent job with lots of obstacles ahead. I have a N2 qualification. I am a confident and complicated woman. I no longer have the need to be on top of fangirling here, but I still work my way through news and releases and varieties and everything. I still listen to mainly only Arashi. I don't know shit about other entertainment space and I like it that way. I am more laid-back and calmer as an adult now. I am older and mature now--even if there are silly moments when I let loose and show the world that I am sometimes still a girl at heart.
今僕ら乗せて時を越える奇跡 いつまでもこの日を忘れはしないよ. I do solemnly promise that I will not forget this day. Not the actual date per se, but more like what this day has brought into my life. I remember those Step and Go performances and how they were such an entertainment on that day and also the last tug I needed to immerse myself in this fangirl life. It might be "miracle that will pass through time" indeed, but this miracle is not something that will be easily faded. I'm hoping to still keep the ride on for a moment longer.
ここから始まる明日へ続く道の中でずっと 想い出は咲き続ける. One of the things that I love from Arashi's songs is that 明るい感じ, the soft nudge to keep at it, and work our way into our future. It's nothing too flashy because we all know how hard life is. Just one step a time, one breath at a time. Just one thing at a time. Memories will always keep blooming. Yeah, I have this 10 year memories and it will be our story. I have tons of other fave parts from their songs. I can quote them to infinity, but this is about Step and Go and my memories, so here we are.
I don't really know how to end this. I still have a lot to say--to write, but there's so much feels right now, and I am getting nostalgic throughout. I feel like I need to revisit something from the past, like Time Con DVD, or just some of my first Shukudai-kun, or perhaps some other early shows. I know that they are in different place right now, but Arashi doesn't go this far without also staying the same as they were. I truly appreciate their steady presence along with their growth. I'm now the old-school fan in the fandom, with lots of young people with lots of different approaches and attitudes. But, as long as Arashi is the Arashi that is right now, I am here to stay for a moment longer.
I still want to do a lot of things. One of them is to meet them again, having the best time of my life with them. It's not going to be an immediate goal anymore; we have our lives. Yet, it's nice to have a solid goal, making it easier to breath even with the madness that is daily life. 嵐、I do not have the words or the gesture to express my deepest gratitude for you. I am not wearing your badges in public. I don't take things you all now do with ease for granted. I don't share my iTunes library with anyone. I am not proclaiming I am a fan openly. I can count with one hand of who among my friends knows I love you. I am like this and I am content with it. It is enough for me to have you for myself. It is enough for me to know that you are all enjoying this as well. It will be enough for me to be as I am right now with the intention of doing my best for a better future. I will forever be grateful. I will forever cherish the moment you decide to share with me. Also forever, I think, 言わないけどはじめての深いいとおしさは嵐.
For the warm space, for the friendly company, for the virtual hug when I need it, for the sweet and encouraging words, for being the soothing balm for my pain, for a home I found along the way, Arashi ありがとう・・・これからもありがとう。
As I don't have any solid plan for today--except for setting my alarm for 嵐〜記念日, I'm just going with feelings, writing while relaxing because bless Chinese New Year, and ending tonight with lots of cold beer because I deserve them.
10 year!
10 year to the dot since that Step and Go performance at Music Station that sealed my fate.
10 year since Sho in that white tanks looking like the neighbourhood bad boy and I swooned so hard, like why am I like this I don't omggg he looks so good and everything, and yeah, the rest was history. Step and Go has been a great milestone, and I often listened to it just for the special occasion.
We're gonna step and go to brand new story. I wrote a special anniversary post back in '13 albeit short, celebrating 5th year of being a fan. Man, the first five year seemed like a long while but the second five years went in a true flash. Sad that it was still in analog era so there's no clear .ts quality video but it is something that made me cherish this memory even more. Yeah, as everyone who were here since the single digit arashi year, I had to deal with the sad and excruciating internet speed, the medium quality video, the very limited source, and all 日本語. I still remember dearly all my heroes, those who translated and subbed stuff back in the days, without you guys I wouldn't be here.
I'm gonna go there with my memories. I remember how I wanted to have this song at a con DVD and got my wish at that first Kokuritsu. It was glorious. And now that I am fortunate enough to have attended more than one Arashi concert, I still haven't gotten this one live. So, for the next time, whenever that is, I am still hoping to listen to this song and enjoy Sho's rap part (one of my most favorites) live. It'd be a glorious and fine day.
10 years is no joke. I met Arashi during what I can say now as my darkest year of life, finishing long and draining projects and still trembling with uncertainty, working toward the unseen future. They stayed with me, as I wound my way through a transit job. They were with me as I scrambled to work on to a more firm and solid foundation of my film career. They were still with me when I finally solidify my path in this teaching (lifetime) job. I had D no Arashi at the end of my worst days and they were a true entertainment. I cried so hard when Shukudai-kun ended. I thoroughly enjoyed Himitsu no Arashi till its sweet ending. I wade through a blogspot, an LJ, and now a dreamwidth and twitter account. I am still here with my weekly fix of VS and Shiyagare, knowing that they are a true constant of my days, even at their worst and moreover at their best. I have known Japanese television more than my own native television; a fact that sometimes I proudly proclaimed while other time saddened me greatly.
10 years and still counting. I had Beautiful World album at time of the busiest and most important production time of my film career. I blubbered at that Kokuritsu hearing Jun's speech and listening to a live version of 5x10. I had Everything as one of the song that got me through the fear of diving head first into this teaching job. I went through two Macbooks, three iPods, and now on my new iPhone with Arashi. I survived school and wrote my thesis with the company of GUTS. I cried my heart out with Nino's どこにでもある唄 during one of the worst time of my life. I had Ohno's Take Me Faraway on loop on those horrible commuting days. Aiba taught me to keep smiling. Jun said we're under the same sky and it'd be alright, and also at the end to do nothing else but enjoy every second of it. Sho has been my 灯台, bighearted and strong even with tears when the moment strikes.
10 fucking years, can you believe it. It's probably one of my longest relationship. I ship. I love. I stay. I am grateful. I will forever be grateful. I know this is not forever, but this 10 years of Arashi has been nothing but a true blessing. I can definitely say I won't be here, in this state of mind, with this level of confidence, if it weren't for these 5 guys. L dragged me into this, bless her kind soul. L stay with me. L sometimes veers off because we both have our lives, but we can meet at one time and find our space together. Arashi has been one of our constants, and while I firmly believe our friendship is rock solid, I do think it's still going strong as it is now partly because of Arashi. I want keep this bond for as long as I am able. It requires lots of work, as any other bond does, but we can now say that we're going to be make it through somehow. We know each other, we know our own pace. We know what we are, what we want, what we are trying to be. Things are good.
10 years, and now I am here. I have a permanent job with lots of obstacles ahead. I have a N2 qualification. I am a confident and complicated woman. I no longer have the need to be on top of fangirling here, but I still work my way through news and releases and varieties and everything. I still listen to mainly only Arashi. I don't know shit about other entertainment space and I like it that way. I am more laid-back and calmer as an adult now. I am older and mature now--even if there are silly moments when I let loose and show the world that I am sometimes still a girl at heart.
今僕ら乗せて時を越える奇跡 いつまでもこの日を忘れはしないよ. I do solemnly promise that I will not forget this day. Not the actual date per se, but more like what this day has brought into my life. I remember those Step and Go performances and how they were such an entertainment on that day and also the last tug I needed to immerse myself in this fangirl life. It might be "miracle that will pass through time" indeed, but this miracle is not something that will be easily faded. I'm hoping to still keep the ride on for a moment longer.
ここから始まる明日へ続く道の中でずっと 想い出は咲き続ける. One of the things that I love from Arashi's songs is that 明るい感じ, the soft nudge to keep at it, and work our way into our future. It's nothing too flashy because we all know how hard life is. Just one step a time, one breath at a time. Just one thing at a time. Memories will always keep blooming. Yeah, I have this 10 year memories and it will be our story. I have tons of other fave parts from their songs. I can quote them to infinity, but this is about Step and Go and my memories, so here we are.
I don't really know how to end this. I still have a lot to say--to write, but there's so much feels right now, and I am getting nostalgic throughout. I feel like I need to revisit something from the past, like Time Con DVD, or just some of my first Shukudai-kun, or perhaps some other early shows. I know that they are in different place right now, but Arashi doesn't go this far without also staying the same as they were. I truly appreciate their steady presence along with their growth. I'm now the old-school fan in the fandom, with lots of young people with lots of different approaches and attitudes. But, as long as Arashi is the Arashi that is right now, I am here to stay for a moment longer.
I still want to do a lot of things. One of them is to meet them again, having the best time of my life with them. It's not going to be an immediate goal anymore; we have our lives. Yet, it's nice to have a solid goal, making it easier to breath even with the madness that is daily life. 嵐、I do not have the words or the gesture to express my deepest gratitude for you. I am not wearing your badges in public. I don't take things you all now do with ease for granted. I don't share my iTunes library with anyone. I am not proclaiming I am a fan openly. I can count with one hand of who among my friends knows I love you. I am like this and I am content with it. It is enough for me to have you for myself. It is enough for me to know that you are all enjoying this as well. It will be enough for me to be as I am right now with the intention of doing my best for a better future. I will forever be grateful. I will forever cherish the moment you decide to share with me. Also forever, I think, 言わないけどはじめての深いいとおしさは嵐.
For the warm space, for the friendly company, for the virtual hug when I need it, for the sweet and encouraging words, for being the soothing balm for my pain, for a home I found along the way, Arashi ありがとう・・・これからもありがとう。