(no subject)
A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!" This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game.
The Programmer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Programmer. Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Programmer "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Programmer looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep. The Programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks "Well, so what's the answer?" Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
There are four engineers traveling in a car -- a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a computer engineer. The car breaks down.
"Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again", says the mechanical engineer.
"Well", says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system."
"I thought it might be an grounding problem", says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead."
They all turn to the computer engineer, who up to then had said nothing, and asked "Well, what do you think?"
"Ummm . . . perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?"
So there was a big, kickin' math party. All the functions were there: x^2, sin(x), 2^x, everyone. e^x, however, wasn't having as much fun as everyone else. He was alone, sulking in the corner. His good friend 2^x came over, and said, "hey e^x, cheer up! Join the party. Integrate yourself!" "Why bother?" asked e^x. "It won't make any difference."
The science graduate asks why it works;
The engineering graduate asks how it works;
The economics graduate asks how much does it cost;
The arts graduate asks would you like fries with that?
A doctor, a priest and an engineer are golfing one day, and the group in front of them is moving really slowly. Finally, they get annoyed and complain to the manager.
The manager explains that they were a group of firemen who lost their vision saving the pro-shop from a fire, so he let them play whenever they want despite their disability.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I'll say a special prayer just for them."
The doctor said, "I know an excellent optimologist. I'll have him see if there's anything we can do to help them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"