OK, so Lily FINALLY got a chance to talk to Marshall. The first part of this chat is over
here.
7:05amLily
God, you should've seen him when Ted and Robin starting sleeping together again.
He was a nervous WRECK.
7:05amMarshall
I did notice some weird twitching I'd never seen before.
I wonder if they checked that out at the hosp.
7:05amLily
He actually came into my class during feelings hour!
And TALKED.
7:06amMarshall
WOW.
He opened up?
7:06amLily
I had to explain to my kindergartners about the dangers of smoking and sharing too much information...
Yeah.
7:06amMarshall
.... to a room full of five year olds, Wow, bad idea jeans.
but still.... good job for... opening up
7:06amLily
I guess.
7:06amMarshall
wait, he's smoking again?
7:06amLily
I just wish he could open up like that more often.
Not the issue here, honey.
7:07amMarshall
Right. focus.
but still, ew.
I'm going to bust his tail for that.
7:07amLily
I mean, if he'd just really talked to Robin, instead of hinting at his feelings, maybe he wouldn't...
It's stupid. HE'S stupid.
God, I'm going to have to kick his ass when he gets back.
7:09amMarshall
He's the kind of stupid kid you see chewing on the leftie scissors, and just need to set straight.
I KNOW you lil. You're going to kick his ass in the most helpful way possible.
7:10amLily
EXACTLY THE METAPHOR I USED.
I will kick his ass constructively, clearly explaining why I am doing so.
7:10amMarshall
wait, seriously?
Score one for the married couple!!!
.....
7:11amLily
"This kick is for you taking drugs. This punch if for you taking alcohol with said drugs. This is for being an emotionally stunted idiot, and THIS is for making me worry so damn much!"
Score!
7:11amMarshall
I'm sorry. It must be the late night
my mind just went to ... a very.... odd.... place
7:11amLily
What?
7:11amMarshall
I think I need a drink
7:11amLily
I could probably do with one of those, too.
7:11amMarshall
You, ma'am, are very sexy when you're angry
7:11amLily
Wanna beer?
7:11amMarshall
That's all I'm going to say.
Sure... Thanks, babe. Want me to grab them? you've had a long day
7:12amLily
Nah, it's fine. I'll get them.
7:12amMarshall
:)
7:12amLily
*goes to the fridge*
7:12amMarshall
*calls* Oof. I guess we should leave to go get heather soon, yeah?
7:12amLily
*gets beers*
*brings them to the couch*
Here you go.
7:12amMarshall
cheers. *clink!*]
7:13amLily
Yeah, we probably should, shouldn't we?
7:13amMarshall
*sighhh*
7:13amLily
OK, so one beer, and then we go.
7:13amMarshall
here I am, after a long day, with a beautiful woman on my couch, about to pour her full of alcohol... and what do we talk about?
another woman.
*sigghh*
7:13amLily
Robin.
I don't think she even knows what she's DONE.
7:14amMarshall
Oh, god... Robin....
I told ... James? this already, but IMHO
Robin needs to get a freaking clue
and fast.
she's KILLING barney, here...
7:15amLily
Yeah, I know.
I was REALLY close to telling her, the other day.
7:15amMarshall
oh, this is going to be FUnnnnn, isn't it.
The two of them.
7:15amLily
She was like, "Barney's been acting really weird, and I don't know what I've done".
7:16amMarshall
Not talking about This to each other.
YOU KNOW she knows, though
She has to know
How can she NOT know?!
7:16amLily
Well, I think she knows, deep down.
She just can't ACCEPT it.
I mean, this is Barney Stinson we're talking about.
And it's going to be this huge elephant in the room, with you and me and Barney knowing, and Ted's gotta figure it out sooner or later, and Robin not-knowing in her own weird way.
7:18amMarshall
If ted doesn't know already
Lily... how do you see this ENDING?
They're Barney and Robin.
Do you see them ending up like... us?
I mean, look at what happened after Ted and Robin split. We almost lost the group then... do you think we can take it if it happens again?
and forget the GROUP. what's going to happen to BARNEY??
7:18amLily
Well, I don't know.
God, I don't even like to think about.
It.
In my mind, they're talking, and Barney blurts it out, and we all live happily ever after.
But it's not going to be like that.
Not after this, at least.
And there's a big chunk afterwards, where Marshall's all lovely and reassuring, and basically calms Lily down, and DC is doing such a great job with him. :)
Then, immediately after that, Lily had a talk with Ted, which was also epically awesome.
7:28amLily
Hi, Ted.
How're you?
7:28amTed
hey Lil! Kind of tired, but I'm all right. You?
7:29amLily
Same, really.
Marshall and I are getting ready to pick up Heather.
7:29amTed
Oh, awesome!
7:29amLily
It's so nice to finally TALK to him.
7:29amTed
Yeah, I'm sure.
7:29amLily
What's going on over there?
7:29amTed
At least you get to see him for a little while on his birthday, right?
7:29amLily
Yeah. :)
7:30amTed
Oh man, Lily... I don't even know.
7:30amLily
That's bad, right?
7:30amTed
I mean, Barney's okay. He was awake and we were talking this afternoon, and I think they might release him soon?
7:30amLily
Well, that's good.
7:30amTed
(or James'll break him out... kind of confusing)
Yeah, it is...
but...
7:31amLily
The bad part?
7:31amTed
something happened with him and Robin.
7:31amLily
What?
7:31amTed
She kissed him.
7:31amLily
OH MY GOD.
7:31amTed
Yeah.
7:31amLily
How... what..
What the hell happened?
7:32amTed
Okay, so he and I were talking, and he kept asking where Robin was
and then she shows up, and I leave them alone
and apparently, from the little Barney told me about what actually happened, she ended up kissing him
and then being all weird about it, saying it was like she was seducing him to stay in NY
and she ran out... I think she was trying to text you?
but yeah. it's kind of a mess.
Barney was telling me he doesn't even want to be her friend anymore.
7:33amLily
Oh, no.
No no no.
7:33amTed
And I haven't talked to Robin, so I don't know what's going on with her.
He told me... that Robin was kind of a big reason behind Vegas.
And... all this, basically.
Lily, can we...
can we do anything to fix this?
Because I don't know what to do.
7:35amLily
Believe me, Ted, I've been trying to fix this for days. There's nothing we can do.
7:35amTed
Ah, Barney's checking out tomorrow afternoon from the hospital, James says.
I don't know if I should be choosing sides here, or what.
7:36amLily
I don't know.
Do you think Robin should stay and try and sort things out?
7:36amTed
I mean, I don't *want* to choose between them, but...
I don't know what Robin wants to do.
I haven't talked to her since before this happened.
7:36amLily
Oh, man.
This is very, very bad.
7:37amTed
She seemed... torn about leaving before, saying she wasn't going to come home unless she was sure he was gonig to be all right.
I know.
7:38amLily
Yeah, I know, she said that.
Wait, did she kiss him, or did he kiss her?
7:38amTed
She kissed him.
7:38amLily
Oh, Jesus.
7:38amTed
He kept telling me that he didn't do anything, that he was a "perfect gentleman," because I think he was worried about another de-broing or something.
7:39amLily
You wouldn't, would you?
I mean, hypothetically.
7:39amTed
No, of course not!
7:39amLily
OK, good.
7:40amTed
Wait, you mean if he HAD taken advantage of her again?
7:40amLily
I don't know.
Everything's different now.
7:40amTed
Yeah.
It's all too confusing.
7:41amLily
God. Barney.
7:41amTed
Yeah.
He's really messed up now, Lil.
7:41amLily
I can imagine.
7:42amTed
I mean, to almost die and then have your best friend kiss you...?
7:42amLily
Yeah. And...
Jeez.
7:42amTed
And?
7:43amLily
Well. OK, I wasn't supposed to tell you, but it's a lot more complicated than it seems.
7:43amTed
What do you mean?
7:43amLily
And I'm only telling you so you can help, so Barney can't get mad at me.
7:43amTed
ok...
7:44amLily
Barney... has feelings for Robin.
7:44amTed
...
...You know about that too?
7:44amLily
WHAT THE HELL.
YOU KNEW?
7:44amTed
SO DID YOU!
7:44amLily
Well, YEAH, but...
Did he tell you?
7:45amTed
He didn't really have to.
He bought us a dishwasher so we'd stop sleeping together.
7:45amLily
True. He's been TOTALLY obvious about it.
Wow, really?
7:45amTed
And like, $4000 worth of stamps.
Yup.
And he keeps buying milk, too.
7:45amLily
Man, he didn't tell me about that.
7:46amTed
Yeah... well, I walked in on him cleaning our apartment because he said he was worried about us fighting all the time
(read: having sex)
7:46amLily
Yeah.
7:46amTed
and then I saw him give her this *look* that night, you know?
7:46amLily
Yeah.
7:46amTed
And then it was just... totally obvious.
7:47amLily
I thought you'd figure it out. But I didn't know you already had.
7:47amTed
Do you think Marshall knows too?
You can't tell him!
7:48amLily
Yeah, he does.
7:48amTed
WHAT?
7:48amLily
James told him today.
7:48amTed
oh.
7:48amLily
I had to Twenty Question him to get him to tell.
7:48amTed
okay, obviously James would know about that.
Wow, he held out better than I thought he would.
7:49amLily
Well, it only took like two questions.
7:49amTed
I mean, if you had to resort to the 20 questions to get him to -- oh.
7:49amLily
"Is it about Robin?" "Is it about Barney?"
So, now we ALL know, except Barney doesn't know that Marshall knows, and Robin doesn't know anything.
7:50amTed
Pretty much.
But seriously, if I picked up on it after the dishwasher thing, how could she NOT?
7:50amLily
And Marshall doesn't know that you know, but I'll tell him.
7:50amTed
not to mention the way he keeps staring longingly at her...
7:50amLily
I don't know.
7:51amTed
ok. good for us all to be on the same page.
7:51amLily
I think she actually does know, deep down, but she refuses to accept it.
7:51amTed
*sighs*
7:51amLily
Why must our friends all be so monumentally stupid?
7:51amTed
It can't keep going on like this, Lily.
I don't know.
7:51amLily
She's going to have to find out.
She can't just go around, kissing him and not knowing.
7:52amTed
I know!
I actually told Barney that I thought he should tell her
once he told me about the kissing
7:52amLily
Barney's not going to tell her.
7:52amTed
yeah, I know.
7:52amLily
Robin... she told him that she could never go for a guy who slept around.
I think that's what set him off.
7:53amTed
oh yeah, he mentioned that to me.
he told me that that WAS what set him off.
7:53amLily
Crap.
7:53amTed
but he totally blamed himself for everything.
Lily
God, who knew he had such a martyr complex?
7:54amTed
he's just being so frustrating.
And he told me... he told me he can't keep this up for much longer.
7:54amLily
You're telling me.
Wait, keep what up?
7:55amTed
acting like he's not in love with her, having to deal with her obliviousness, her hot-coldness...
He actually said that he's going to end up killing himself if they keep it up like that.
and I don't know how seriously I should take him at his word
7:56amLily
Oh my God.
7:56amTed
after all that happened this week
he might have already tried with the overdose, but I'm not sure...
7:57amLily
I don't even know.
I wish I could talk to him, but we're never on at the same time.
7:57amTed
he insists that he wasn't trying to kill himself with the speed
7:57amLily
And I don't know what I could say.
7:57amTed
that sucks.
I think he really needs to hear from you.
at least send him a message or something.
hell, I never know what to say to him.
7:58amLily
I did send him a message, like yesterday, but he hasn't replied.
7:58amTed
really? maybe he just missed it... he was asleep for most of yesterday and a lot of the morning
7:58amLily
Yeah, I'll send him another.
I really am going to have to kick his ass when he gets back.
7:59amTed
You seriously are. =)
He's going to need you to whip him into shape.
7:59amLily
Well, I can't say I haven't tried.
I told him to stop sleeping around, but he didn't really try very hard with that one.
8:00amTed
heh... no, not so much.
8:01amLily
This is just completely screwed up.
8:01amTed
I know.
*sighs*
8:03amLily
Ha, just noticed your status.
8:03amTed
Well, it's true.
8:03amLily
I think we need to make a flow chart to figure this all out.
8:04amTed
haha, probably
So... where does all of this even start?
this weekend?
last may?
the night he met Robin?
8:05amLily
Not that early, I don't think.
Although, considering the drama with you and Robin, maybe.
8:05amTed
yeah, see, I don't even know.
Like, everything that happened lately has been building for a while... he didn't just go on a bender because Robin said one thing to him.
8:06amLily
No.
It's been... everything.
8:06amTed
yeah.
8:06amLily
He's been bottling things up for a REALLY long time.
8:06amTed
I know.
8:07amLily
Like, longer than you or I have known him.
8:07amTed
yeah, probably.
he's kind of been like that since the night I met him, you know? bottling things up.
or, I could tell after I knew him a little longer.
8:08amLily
Oh, yeah, you guys met in the urinal. :P
8:08amTed
yeah, whatever.
8:10amLily
Listen, I gotta go -- cab's here.
8:10amTed
ok
8:10amLily
Call me if anything else happens, OK?
8:10amTed
I will.
8:10amLily
Or if you just wanna talk.
8:10amTed
=) I will.
you too, okay?
Lily
Yeah, I will.
Bye!
8:11amTed
bye, Lily.
Darlingchaos and da_phoenix = goddesses. I am totally serious.