Part 03 - Chapter 24 - Practice Makes Perfect (NC)
Rose makes a breakthrough and collects her reward.
Chapter 24 - Practice Makes Perfect (PG)
Chapter 24 - Practice Makes Perfect (NC)
As I run I think of the things that have happened to him since I came into his life the morgue in Cardiff he wouldn't have been in if he hadn't had to go chasing after the hearse to get me back, and the earthquake on Woman Wept that he was trapped in because he felt guilty about taking me to see my dad. A guilt he didn’t deserve, for a trip where he was actually eaten by a Reaper that my selfish actions had let loose. Then there was letting Adam have not just my mobile but my TARDIS key, which again nearly got him killed, and now this latest disaster where not only did my actions get him captured but they got him tortured! Tortured so badly that he thought dying was better than letting them have control over him any longer, all over a stupid shopping trip I tricked him into agreeing to; he doesn’t even like going shopping.
Finally, I can run no longer, my tears making it impossible for me to get enough air to do so. Stopping, I just pick a door at random to enter. Maybe I can hide away here and he will forget I'm aboard and get on with his life with out me messing it up. But I can’t help the sob I emit as I enter and it is obvious that is not going to be a choice; somehow, in spite of my running, where I have arrived is the Doctor’s bedroom.
------------------------------------
Oh my precious Rose, what have I done to you? I am furious with Jack for his horrid choice of wording. Yet it doesn't change the fact that it was my choices that have made them so painful. None of this has been your fault and yet time and again it is you who pay for my actions. I wish I were stronger and could take you home, take you where you would be safe. But I am not nearly as strong as you; all the more is the shame that, you a twenty-year-old human have more courage than I. You, at least, tried to put distance between us, tried to protect yourself from me by pushing me away. That was until I let my jealousy get the better of me and lured you back because I couldn’t bear the thought you might turn to Jack. Then did I do what I know I should have, and teach you how to protect yourself? No, I have to try to impress and take you someplace where… As she enters the room sobbing, all tears and broadcasted grief, I feel so very stupid. “I… Oh Rose, I have been such an old fool.”
“No, don’t say that! You’re brilliant; you have always been and always will be brilliant. I’m the one that’s the stupid…”
“Yeah brilliant, brilliant at putting your life in danger! Brilliant at making you miserable.” Before I can say another word I find myself with my arms full of a distraught Rose Tyler. Even in spite of the pain her clinging is causing me right now I can’t let her go and for that I know I deserve exactly what I am getting.
“No Doctor, don’t ever think that. It’s you who keeps me safe, from that very first time you told me run you have been saving me. You keep so many people safe. You let them live out their lives never having to know about things like Autons, Gelth, Slitheen, Daleks and all the rest. That’s what you do, it’s who you are and all it seems I can do is get you hurt.” Even as she says this I can tell it dawns on her the position she is in and she tries to move back away from me. As I tighten my arms about her she freezes. “See?” Her self-castigation is cut short as Jack enters a large glass in his hand.
“Doctor, I’m sor…” Jack’s words stutter to a halt as he realizes the position Rose and I are in. “I’ll just...” and I see him gesture toward leaving and I am a bit surprised that he hasn’t instead made some risqué comment.
“No Jack, it’s all right come in. In fact it looks like you have brought me exactly what I needed.” Then looking at Rose, “well, the other thing I needed.”
Deciding that maybe he hasn’t come at as awkward a time as it appeared, he comes over and offers me the glass in his hand. “Verity said it would…”
“Yes, I know," I state in resignation, "but Rose is here.” And I look at her hoping she will understand what I am asking, what I need, without having to actually ask. Even though I don’t deserve her compassion, I hope that, in spite of all my stupidity, she will forgive me and not leave. I need the rest. Right now this medication and she can provide me that, but I need her more, even if that means an extended talk and postponing taking what Verity has provided.
She looks between Jack and I and I see her come to a decision. Her quiet words of, “I’m here,” cause me to let go the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and I reach for the glass Jack is holding out. As she notices how badly my hand is shaking she reaches up and gently stabilizes it with her own and I give her an apologetic smile as she helps me drink. Not another word is said as she hands it back to Jack and he turns to leave. As he reaches the door I know, though, that I have to say something. “Thank you Jack.” I know it’s less than he deserves, considering everything I have put him through recently, but I can’t help the anger I still feel for his hurting Rose with his unthinking words.
Looking back he nods and gives me a small smile. “Get some rest, Doctor.” Even as I hear the door close I can feel the drink taking effect, much faster than usual and I realize that the mixture he just gave me was quite a bit stronger. I also know it is exactly what I need as I feel the relief washing through me. Needing her reassurance, I ask even as I feel the sedatives rapidly sucking me into unconsciousness, “Stay with me?” and think I hear her say, “Forever” as I slip into sleep.
-------------------------------------
When he won't let me go I can't bear to try to pull away and cause him yet more pain, as I remember very clearly how much pain he was in when we were in the library. As Jack comes in with the medicated drink Verity has been providing I know that, regardless of what happens, I cannot leave him to face his nightmares alone when he has suffered so much already for me. This, at least, I can't screw up.
As he sleeps I think, and the more I do I realized that as much as I have done wrong he still seems at times almost desperate to keep me with him. I know he has been sleeping more since we have began sleeping together even in those times when all we do is sleep. From the frequency that Verity had woken me because of his nightmares previously I know that getting a good rest for him was rare. Looking back over things, I also see the number of times that it has been only with both our efforts that things have been fixed and we were able to escape. Sometimes it is difficult to keep things in perspective in the chaos of our lives but when I lay with him curled around me like this, things get very simple. I love him. I don't want to see him hurt, and I don't want to be anywhere else and so as long as he will let me, I will stay, be it one day or forever.
************************
I awake to the sound of whimpering and realize immediately what that means. He's dreaming and they aren’t pleasant ones. I move hoping to wake him in doing so as I have so many times before but this time it seems to have no effect. Gently I try to turn in his grasp and freeze at the heart chilling hopeless sound of him calling my name. I don't know what he is dreaming this time, but I do know whatever it is has caused that sound of despair and it hurts to think of anything causing him that kind of pain. Gently pressing on his shoulder I try to shake him only for his arm to tighten about my middle.
"Doctor?"
"You can't. I won't let you!" Come his cries. "You can't make me. Noooooo," now he is beginning to thrash and scream and I know one of us is going to get hurt if I can't get him to wake soon.
I don't know what possesses me to do so but when he doesn't respond to more vigorous shaking I reach up and touch his face. In that moment I find myself in a war zone watching myself being dragged across a field by two large Essarrians. I gasp in horror as I see them dragging me to a table much like what they had us tied to before. 'You need to Doctor, there is no time left' I hear a woman’s voice telling him. 'No, I can't, please I...' Then there is pain so much pain everywhere. I scream and push back coming to full awareness as my butt impacts the floor. Above me I hear his harsh labored breathing but am also aware, how I am not sure, that he is now awake and I move quickly back to his side.
He looks dazed and his words at first sound hurt, "You pushed me out," then amazed. "Rose, you pushed me out!" ending in clear delight as he fully realizes what I have done. "Rose you did it! You pushed me out of your mind!"
All I can do is stare at him for a moment as the shock of the rapid psychic transitions wears off. Then I can't stop the smile I give him as I realize he's right. I suspect that it will take a fair amount of practice yet before I can do it consistently but we have definitely made progress.
************************
It's been a two days since I made my breakthrough escaping his nightmare and things have gone much better today in spite of his irritation at needing to sleep some after our session.
I watch as he sleeps again curled into my side. His arm is across my belly, leg thrown over mine, and head on my shoulder. It doesn't seem to matter what position we start in when we go to sleep this is where I find him each time I wake before him. It's as if he unconsciously feels he needs to do this to prevent me from leaving. I do know, when I am honest with myself, I could never willingly leave him. It matters not to me which way we sleep for the most part, if this is all it takes to keep his nightmares away then all the better. Even if sometime he puts his head where it makes my arm 'go to sleep' it is a very tiny price to pay, one I would willingly pay for the rest of my life to give him peaceful sleep.
As he begins to stir I know it is time for the pleasure I had promised him, us, four days ago. I slowly slide my hand down his side and feel his quiet hum of pleasure against my shoulder and smile. He has not worn more than briefs to bed in days, as the constriction of fabric against his tender skin has been far too uncomfortable. Today he has less on and I am glad, one less bit of clothing to discard.
He has barely moved but I know he is awake and slide my hand down from his hip and feel a hitch in his breathing as I gently trace my fingertips along his manhood. I get a small sigh as I close my hand around him and slowly begin to stroke his length.
As I let go though I hear a small whimper. I quietly tell him, "You would probably be more comfortable on your back." At my words he finally opens his eyes and he smiles as I think about what I want to do, it is a smile I quickly return. I know he has made a lot of progress toward recovery but I have no intentions on testing how much by trying to press him for more than he thinks he is ready for, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still find a way to give him pleasure. Even as I lean in for a kiss I feel the gentle touch of his mind. It is something I am so much more aware of from our sessions but now instead of trying to prevent his access I mentally reach for him and feel his warm silver blue presence surrounding me.
As he does, I become aware of the places that are still giving him discomfort and take mental note to avoid those areas. As I release his lips I run my tongue over his bottom lip, unwilling to completely separate but when he shivers ever so slightly at my action I lean back so I can see his whole face.
"Rose you know..."
"Shhhh" I say as I gently place my finger on his lips. "You wouldn't deprive me of my reward for working so hard would you?" and I watch the beautiful blue of his eyes darken as he feels my desire. I want this, I want him and I am hiding nothing from him so he knows exactly how much.
As I notice the slight blush my thoughts create I can't help but think of how incredibly sexy he looks with it tinting his prominent ears. At that thought I lean up to nibble on his closest earlobe while gently I run my fingers over his short cropped hair and gently scrape my fingers through his ultra soft hair on the way to teasing his other one. I wonder if seal fur is as soft because it definitely feels softer than human hair. Continuing down, I skim his neck feeling his fast double pulse. I release the ear I have been attentive to, giving it one last nip, in favor of feeling that pulse with my lips before sucking on his neck just hard enough to leave a small mark of possession where the only ones likely to see it will be us two, and maybe Jack, as well as extracting a small moan from him.
Sitting up, I slowly unzip my jogger top, teasing him with each new bit of skin revealed. The intensity of his gaze makes me shiver. Dropping my top off the side of the bed, I reach back and release my bra. I slowly run my fingers along the tops of each breast before finally freeing them to his view and I watch as he licks his lips as if contemplating some tasty treat.
"You want these?" I ask seductively as I scoop my hands beneath each breast lifting as well as gently pressing them together toward the center of my chest and feeling my nipples tighten at his hungry look. At his slow nod I briefly tweak each of my nipples between thumb and forefinger to ensure they are fully at attention before leaning over him so I can dangle them in his face. Sliding first one then the other against his cheek feeling the newly grown stubble gently abrade their sides causing us both to shiver. At this he puts his hand up to my side to halt my torment so he can suck one into his mouth. As he does so I register the odd sensation pattern coming from his right hand where he is touching me before the duel sensations of him grasping my nipple with his mouth and his sucking causes me to moan. The lovely taste sensations he gets from my pheromones and the feeling of his lips and tongue manipulating my nipple warring for attention in my mind with my own sensations. His actions send a wave of desire shooting for my core forcing me to my put hand down on his chest which sets off more sensations and causes me to close my eyes as I curl my fingers through his sparse chest hair. I open my eyes and give him a wicked grin before reaching up and tweaking his left nipple. He groans and retaliates with a hard suck and a nip to my breast, which in turn pulls from me a whimper. I feel his quick smile before he swirls his tongue around the now sensitize bud. I pull it from his lips, and before he can protest I provide him the other one for attention. I hum in delight as he eagerly sucks it in and gives it a good tongue-lashing that makes me squirm.
I am distracted, though, as I feel a twinge of pain as he flattens his right hand on my side and receive a corresponding image of the Essarrian crushing his hand in his powerful grip causing me to wince as my attention has drawn out some of what happened out of his memories. I move to capture his lips in a desperate kiss as I remember how we got here and feel waves of comfort from him as he pulls me into a hug.
'My poor Doctor!'
"Shhhh, it's going to be okay, I'm going to be okay Rose,” he whispers comfortingly in my ear. Then refusing to let me dwell on it he says, "I think someone has too many clothes on still."
I pull back giving him a wane smile as I quickly strip off my Jogger pants and knickers leaving me too naked. "Better?"
At his smile and nod I give him one of my brightest smiles and with a leer say, "Now I remember someone mentioning a treat."
I lightly run my fingertips down the center of his body starting at his throat, as I move down and nearer my eventual destination I run my fingers to the left and over to his right hip. On impulse leaning down to kiss it as well before shifting my attention to his thigh to gently encourage him to move it so I have room to move down between his legs. As he makes room for me, I move to brace myself above him so I can trace the same path as my fingers had with small kisses and I make sure to brush his most attentive member occasionally, 'accidentally' as I do to ensure it stays at attention. By the time I have reached his navel I can feel the intense need I have been creating in him, so his quiet plea of "Rose" doesn't surprise me. I smile up at him and slide the rest of the way down to my goal. As I look up his body at him his eyes are almost black with need and I watch them close in pleasure as I take him in hand and slowly stroke his length from top to bottom, shivering at the feelings I am creating and do it again just a bit tighter and elicit a moan from him.
"Rose, please," comes his strangled request and at that I envelope him with my lips and get a sharp gasp of pleasure from him and a shot of pure need. I set to work, laving my tongue up and down his length like a lolly till he finally reaches down and gently encourages me to make a more though exploration. I feel an almost desperate craving coming from him now and my own body is begging for relief as well. ‘Please, Rose, I need to be in you,’ comes his mental entreaty and I want so very much to give him exactly what he is asking for but I can’t think of a way to do so without risking his pain. Reading my thoughts he provides me a gloriously graphic image of me straddling him and impaling my self on his hardness and I shiver from the image. Watching his eyes I ask, “are you sure?”
“Yes!” is his hoarse verbal cry.
“If it hurts you I want you to…” Feeling his hips thrust upward into my hand I know without question I have to at least try. Never have I taken this position before with a lover and I feel almost wanton as move up his body and position him at my entrance. Looking up for reassurance that he really wants this, I feel his hands come to my hips and he guides me down onto him. I whimper as I feel him filling me, and the fantastic feeling of having him once again where he belongs sends shivers chasing up my spine.
As I approach his body I slow trying to keep my weight off of him in hopes of avoiding unintentionally hurting him. As he feels my reluctance his hands tighten on my hips and he pulls me down hard onto him causing me to cry out as he strikes my depths and fills me more than I think I have ever have been before. I feel dizzy with the wash of pleasurable sensations. Needing to stabilize myself to keep from collapsing my full weight upon him I put my palms down on his chest feeling the fast but steadying beats of one of each of his hearts directly below each palm. Closing my eyes sets off an awareness of a new wave of sensations. His hardness buried in my body touching me far more deeply than any other man I have known, stretching me, filling me. The way his fingers are tracing circles on my hips, his thumbs holding me in place, causes me to tremble setting off delicious vibrations, and I know he is waiting for me to adjust both mentally as well as physically to his presence within me.
As well as my sensations I also feel his, of my body straddling him, the incredible heat and silky pleasure wrapped around him. The feel of my hands on his chest and the softness of my skin beneath his fingers, and I slowly peel my eyes open to see him watching me. As our eyes lock I sigh and he smiles that wonderful grin that is so filled with delight and mischief and bucks his hips upward. The feeling that creates causes me to whimper at his movement within me. Moving my hands to beside him I lift up, feeling the delicious friction where our bodies join and tremble while pushing rapidly back then gasping at the magnificent feeling of fullness. That is no longer enough by it self though, as I begin to slowly rock fiery pleasure bolts through me, filling me with heat and need. Both of us are panting now from the incredible sensations. Need this, need him, and feel an equally desperate need from him. It seems like a lifetime since we did this last and it feels splendid. I just want to melt from the heat we are generating. He thrusts upward at an odd moment throwing me slightly of balance which he quickly exploits as he pulls me to his chest causing me to gasp at the mix of unexpected sensations. Pushing up momentarily I look at his face to assure myself I didn't hurt him and I find myself inches from one of his most endearing mischievous grins. In retaliation I work hard at snogging him senseless as I push back and down, rotating my hips to swirl his head around my cervix. The blazing mix of sensations lighting fast surging through me is far more than expected and sends me into a powerful orgasm that bows my back and causes me to grind myself down into his erection as well as scream out my pleasure till there is no air left in my lungs. Fire envelops my brain as I spasm around him uncontrollably. The sensations rebound between our bodies like a rapid-fire ping-pong match. Somewhere far away I feel his restraint shatter and like a dam bursting suddenly every thing becomes even more intense as I feel him swamping me with his own orgasm. For a suspended moment everything is clear as I feel his body jerking with pleasure within and below me then there’s a flare of golden energy and nothing as I lose consciousness.
------------------------------------
At the powerful spike of psychic energy I am frightened, I know Theta and Rose are making love, I would have to be totally blind to miss that fact. This though is too much and as loath as I am to interfere I step in and shield Rose from him as I realize that he isn’t and that this was one of the things he had been afraid would happen four days ago, letting her this close to him when he was still recovering. I know with sickening certainty that if I don't act she will be badly hurt as her human brain can’t handle that kind of powerful input and that I can't allow for any of our sakes. I quickly retreat, though, as I feel him starting to return to his senses and hope he doesn't detect my protective actions as I can see how him knowing would be disastrous for both of them.
------------------------------------
I start as I realize that I was unconscious and my first feeling is fear for Rose and that I might have unintentionally hurt her. But my senses are flooded with her presence and warmth draped exhausted and sleeping across my body. As I gently reach for her mind I find the most important thing of all, she is unharmed so I let my own sated exhaustion drag me into sleep as well.
-----------------------------------
It has been a long day first working with the Doctor then with Verity on the temporal mechanics of working with a time ship and navigating through the Vortex. The ships I have had experience with are like children’s primers in comparison to Verity's complexities. But as hard as it has been, it has also been exhilarating to know that they are willing to work with this ‘dumb ape’, and compared to them I really do feel exceptionally dumb. As Rose finally persuades the Doctor to rest I smile because I suspect rest isn't the only thing on Rose's mind for them to do in bed. It is a suspicion confirmed later as when as I am showering I find myself suddenly exceptionally hard when I feel what is unquestionably the Doctor broadcasting his pleasure. It doesn't take long to find my own release as I think about what he and Rose might have been up to for him to lose control in that manner. In spite of the stressfulness of this last week I realize it is something I wouldn't have missed for the universe.
Chapter 25 - Need (NC17)
(Story Index)
Chapter 24 - Practice Makes Perfect (PG)
Chapter 24 - Practice Makes Perfect (NC)
As I run I think of the things that have happened to him since I came into his life the morgue in Cardiff he wouldn't have been in if he hadn't had to go chasing after the hearse to get me back, and the earthquake on Woman Wept that he was trapped in because he felt guilty about taking me to see my dad. A guilt he didn’t deserve, for a trip where he was actually eaten by a Reaper that my selfish actions had let loose. Then there was letting Adam have not just my mobile but my TARDIS key, which again nearly got him killed, and now this latest disaster where not only did my actions get him captured but they got him tortured! Tortured so badly that he thought dying was better than letting them have control over him any longer, all over a stupid shopping trip I tricked him into agreeing to; he doesn’t even like going shopping.
Finally, I can run no longer, my tears making it impossible for me to get enough air to do so. Stopping, I just pick a door at random to enter. Maybe I can hide away here and he will forget I'm aboard and get on with his life with out me messing it up. But I can’t help the sob I emit as I enter and it is obvious that is not going to be a choice; somehow, in spite of my running, where I have arrived is the Doctor’s bedroom.
------------------------------------
Oh my precious Rose, what have I done to you? I am furious with Jack for his horrid choice of wording. Yet it doesn't change the fact that it was my choices that have made them so painful. None of this has been your fault and yet time and again it is you who pay for my actions. I wish I were stronger and could take you home, take you where you would be safe. But I am not nearly as strong as you; all the more is the shame that, you a twenty-year-old human have more courage than I. You, at least, tried to put distance between us, tried to protect yourself from me by pushing me away. That was until I let my jealousy get the better of me and lured you back because I couldn’t bear the thought you might turn to Jack. Then did I do what I know I should have, and teach you how to protect yourself? No, I have to try to impress and take you someplace where… As she enters the room sobbing, all tears and broadcasted grief, I feel so very stupid. “I… Oh Rose, I have been such an old fool.”
“No, don’t say that! You’re brilliant; you have always been and always will be brilliant. I’m the one that’s the stupid…”
“Yeah brilliant, brilliant at putting your life in danger! Brilliant at making you miserable.” Before I can say another word I find myself with my arms full of a distraught Rose Tyler. Even in spite of the pain her clinging is causing me right now I can’t let her go and for that I know I deserve exactly what I am getting.
“No Doctor, don’t ever think that. It’s you who keeps me safe, from that very first time you told me run you have been saving me. You keep so many people safe. You let them live out their lives never having to know about things like Autons, Gelth, Slitheen, Daleks and all the rest. That’s what you do, it’s who you are and all it seems I can do is get you hurt.” Even as she says this I can tell it dawns on her the position she is in and she tries to move back away from me. As I tighten my arms about her she freezes. “See?” Her self-castigation is cut short as Jack enters a large glass in his hand.
“Doctor, I’m sor…” Jack’s words stutter to a halt as he realizes the position Rose and I are in. “I’ll just...” and I see him gesture toward leaving and I am a bit surprised that he hasn’t instead made some risqué comment.
“No Jack, it’s all right come in. In fact it looks like you have brought me exactly what I needed.” Then looking at Rose, “well, the other thing I needed.”
Deciding that maybe he hasn’t come at as awkward a time as it appeared, he comes over and offers me the glass in his hand. “Verity said it would…”
“Yes, I know," I state in resignation, "but Rose is here.” And I look at her hoping she will understand what I am asking, what I need, without having to actually ask. Even though I don’t deserve her compassion, I hope that, in spite of all my stupidity, she will forgive me and not leave. I need the rest. Right now this medication and she can provide me that, but I need her more, even if that means an extended talk and postponing taking what Verity has provided.
She looks between Jack and I and I see her come to a decision. Her quiet words of, “I’m here,” cause me to let go the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and I reach for the glass Jack is holding out. As she notices how badly my hand is shaking she reaches up and gently stabilizes it with her own and I give her an apologetic smile as she helps me drink. Not another word is said as she hands it back to Jack and he turns to leave. As he reaches the door I know, though, that I have to say something. “Thank you Jack.” I know it’s less than he deserves, considering everything I have put him through recently, but I can’t help the anger I still feel for his hurting Rose with his unthinking words.
Looking back he nods and gives me a small smile. “Get some rest, Doctor.” Even as I hear the door close I can feel the drink taking effect, much faster than usual and I realize that the mixture he just gave me was quite a bit stronger. I also know it is exactly what I need as I feel the relief washing through me. Needing her reassurance, I ask even as I feel the sedatives rapidly sucking me into unconsciousness, “Stay with me?” and think I hear her say, “Forever” as I slip into sleep.
-------------------------------------
When he won't let me go I can't bear to try to pull away and cause him yet more pain, as I remember very clearly how much pain he was in when we were in the library. As Jack comes in with the medicated drink Verity has been providing I know that, regardless of what happens, I cannot leave him to face his nightmares alone when he has suffered so much already for me. This, at least, I can't screw up.
As he sleeps I think, and the more I do I realized that as much as I have done wrong he still seems at times almost desperate to keep me with him. I know he has been sleeping more since we have began sleeping together even in those times when all we do is sleep. From the frequency that Verity had woken me because of his nightmares previously I know that getting a good rest for him was rare. Looking back over things, I also see the number of times that it has been only with both our efforts that things have been fixed and we were able to escape. Sometimes it is difficult to keep things in perspective in the chaos of our lives but when I lay with him curled around me like this, things get very simple. I love him. I don't want to see him hurt, and I don't want to be anywhere else and so as long as he will let me, I will stay, be it one day or forever.
************************
I awake to the sound of whimpering and realize immediately what that means. He's dreaming and they aren’t pleasant ones. I move hoping to wake him in doing so as I have so many times before but this time it seems to have no effect. Gently I try to turn in his grasp and freeze at the heart chilling hopeless sound of him calling my name. I don't know what he is dreaming this time, but I do know whatever it is has caused that sound of despair and it hurts to think of anything causing him that kind of pain. Gently pressing on his shoulder I try to shake him only for his arm to tighten about my middle.
"Doctor?"
"You can't. I won't let you!" Come his cries. "You can't make me. Noooooo," now he is beginning to thrash and scream and I know one of us is going to get hurt if I can't get him to wake soon.
I don't know what possesses me to do so but when he doesn't respond to more vigorous shaking I reach up and touch his face. In that moment I find myself in a war zone watching myself being dragged across a field by two large Essarrians. I gasp in horror as I see them dragging me to a table much like what they had us tied to before. 'You need to Doctor, there is no time left' I hear a woman’s voice telling him. 'No, I can't, please I...' Then there is pain so much pain everywhere. I scream and push back coming to full awareness as my butt impacts the floor. Above me I hear his harsh labored breathing but am also aware, how I am not sure, that he is now awake and I move quickly back to his side.
He looks dazed and his words at first sound hurt, "You pushed me out," then amazed. "Rose, you pushed me out!" ending in clear delight as he fully realizes what I have done. "Rose you did it! You pushed me out of your mind!"
All I can do is stare at him for a moment as the shock of the rapid psychic transitions wears off. Then I can't stop the smile I give him as I realize he's right. I suspect that it will take a fair amount of practice yet before I can do it consistently but we have definitely made progress.
************************
It's been a two days since I made my breakthrough escaping his nightmare and things have gone much better today in spite of his irritation at needing to sleep some after our session.
I watch as he sleeps again curled into my side. His arm is across my belly, leg thrown over mine, and head on my shoulder. It doesn't seem to matter what position we start in when we go to sleep this is where I find him each time I wake before him. It's as if he unconsciously feels he needs to do this to prevent me from leaving. I do know, when I am honest with myself, I could never willingly leave him. It matters not to me which way we sleep for the most part, if this is all it takes to keep his nightmares away then all the better. Even if sometime he puts his head where it makes my arm 'go to sleep' it is a very tiny price to pay, one I would willingly pay for the rest of my life to give him peaceful sleep.
As he begins to stir I know it is time for the pleasure I had promised him, us, four days ago. I slowly slide my hand down his side and feel his quiet hum of pleasure against my shoulder and smile. He has not worn more than briefs to bed in days, as the constriction of fabric against his tender skin has been far too uncomfortable. Today he has less on and I am glad, one less bit of clothing to discard.
He has barely moved but I know he is awake and slide my hand down from his hip and feel a hitch in his breathing as I gently trace my fingertips along his manhood. I get a small sigh as I close my hand around him and slowly begin to stroke his length.
As I let go though I hear a small whimper. I quietly tell him, "You would probably be more comfortable on your back." At my words he finally opens his eyes and he smiles as I think about what I want to do, it is a smile I quickly return. I know he has made a lot of progress toward recovery but I have no intentions on testing how much by trying to press him for more than he thinks he is ready for, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still find a way to give him pleasure. Even as I lean in for a kiss I feel the gentle touch of his mind. It is something I am so much more aware of from our sessions but now instead of trying to prevent his access I mentally reach for him and feel his warm silver blue presence surrounding me.
As he does, I become aware of the places that are still giving him discomfort and take mental note to avoid those areas. As I release his lips I run my tongue over his bottom lip, unwilling to completely separate but when he shivers ever so slightly at my action I lean back so I can see his whole face.
"Rose you know..."
"Shhhh" I say as I gently place my finger on his lips. "You wouldn't deprive me of my reward for working so hard would you?" and I watch the beautiful blue of his eyes darken as he feels my desire. I want this, I want him and I am hiding nothing from him so he knows exactly how much.
As I notice the slight blush my thoughts create I can't help but think of how incredibly sexy he looks with it tinting his prominent ears. At that thought I lean up to nibble on his closest earlobe while gently I run my fingers over his short cropped hair and gently scrape my fingers through his ultra soft hair on the way to teasing his other one. I wonder if seal fur is as soft because it definitely feels softer than human hair. Continuing down, I skim his neck feeling his fast double pulse. I release the ear I have been attentive to, giving it one last nip, in favor of feeling that pulse with my lips before sucking on his neck just hard enough to leave a small mark of possession where the only ones likely to see it will be us two, and maybe Jack, as well as extracting a small moan from him.
Sitting up, I slowly unzip my jogger top, teasing him with each new bit of skin revealed. The intensity of his gaze makes me shiver. Dropping my top off the side of the bed, I reach back and release my bra. I slowly run my fingers along the tops of each breast before finally freeing them to his view and I watch as he licks his lips as if contemplating some tasty treat.
"You want these?" I ask seductively as I scoop my hands beneath each breast lifting as well as gently pressing them together toward the center of my chest and feeling my nipples tighten at his hungry look. At his slow nod I briefly tweak each of my nipples between thumb and forefinger to ensure they are fully at attention before leaning over him so I can dangle them in his face. Sliding first one then the other against his cheek feeling the newly grown stubble gently abrade their sides causing us both to shiver. At this he puts his hand up to my side to halt my torment so he can suck one into his mouth. As he does so I register the odd sensation pattern coming from his right hand where he is touching me before the duel sensations of him grasping my nipple with his mouth and his sucking causes me to moan. The lovely taste sensations he gets from my pheromones and the feeling of his lips and tongue manipulating my nipple warring for attention in my mind with my own sensations. His actions send a wave of desire shooting for my core forcing me to my put hand down on his chest which sets off more sensations and causes me to close my eyes as I curl my fingers through his sparse chest hair. I open my eyes and give him a wicked grin before reaching up and tweaking his left nipple. He groans and retaliates with a hard suck and a nip to my breast, which in turn pulls from me a whimper. I feel his quick smile before he swirls his tongue around the now sensitize bud. I pull it from his lips, and before he can protest I provide him the other one for attention. I hum in delight as he eagerly sucks it in and gives it a good tongue-lashing that makes me squirm.
I am distracted, though, as I feel a twinge of pain as he flattens his right hand on my side and receive a corresponding image of the Essarrian crushing his hand in his powerful grip causing me to wince as my attention has drawn out some of what happened out of his memories. I move to capture his lips in a desperate kiss as I remember how we got here and feel waves of comfort from him as he pulls me into a hug.
'My poor Doctor!'
"Shhhh, it's going to be okay, I'm going to be okay Rose,” he whispers comfortingly in my ear. Then refusing to let me dwell on it he says, "I think someone has too many clothes on still."
I pull back giving him a wane smile as I quickly strip off my Jogger pants and knickers leaving me too naked. "Better?"
At his smile and nod I give him one of my brightest smiles and with a leer say, "Now I remember someone mentioning a treat."
I lightly run my fingertips down the center of his body starting at his throat, as I move down and nearer my eventual destination I run my fingers to the left and over to his right hip. On impulse leaning down to kiss it as well before shifting my attention to his thigh to gently encourage him to move it so I have room to move down between his legs. As he makes room for me, I move to brace myself above him so I can trace the same path as my fingers had with small kisses and I make sure to brush his most attentive member occasionally, 'accidentally' as I do to ensure it stays at attention. By the time I have reached his navel I can feel the intense need I have been creating in him, so his quiet plea of "Rose" doesn't surprise me. I smile up at him and slide the rest of the way down to my goal. As I look up his body at him his eyes are almost black with need and I watch them close in pleasure as I take him in hand and slowly stroke his length from top to bottom, shivering at the feelings I am creating and do it again just a bit tighter and elicit a moan from him.
"Rose, please," comes his strangled request and at that I envelope him with my lips and get a sharp gasp of pleasure from him and a shot of pure need. I set to work, laving my tongue up and down his length like a lolly till he finally reaches down and gently encourages me to make a more though exploration. I feel an almost desperate craving coming from him now and my own body is begging for relief as well. ‘Please, Rose, I need to be in you,’ comes his mental entreaty and I want so very much to give him exactly what he is asking for but I can’t think of a way to do so without risking his pain. Reading my thoughts he provides me a gloriously graphic image of me straddling him and impaling my self on his hardness and I shiver from the image. Watching his eyes I ask, “are you sure?”
“Yes!” is his hoarse verbal cry.
“If it hurts you I want you to…” Feeling his hips thrust upward into my hand I know without question I have to at least try. Never have I taken this position before with a lover and I feel almost wanton as move up his body and position him at my entrance. Looking up for reassurance that he really wants this, I feel his hands come to my hips and he guides me down onto him. I whimper as I feel him filling me, and the fantastic feeling of having him once again where he belongs sends shivers chasing up my spine.
As I approach his body I slow trying to keep my weight off of him in hopes of avoiding unintentionally hurting him. As he feels my reluctance his hands tighten on my hips and he pulls me down hard onto him causing me to cry out as he strikes my depths and fills me more than I think I have ever have been before. I feel dizzy with the wash of pleasurable sensations. Needing to stabilize myself to keep from collapsing my full weight upon him I put my palms down on his chest feeling the fast but steadying beats of one of each of his hearts directly below each palm. Closing my eyes sets off an awareness of a new wave of sensations. His hardness buried in my body touching me far more deeply than any other man I have known, stretching me, filling me. The way his fingers are tracing circles on my hips, his thumbs holding me in place, causes me to tremble setting off delicious vibrations, and I know he is waiting for me to adjust both mentally as well as physically to his presence within me.
As well as my sensations I also feel his, of my body straddling him, the incredible heat and silky pleasure wrapped around him. The feel of my hands on his chest and the softness of my skin beneath his fingers, and I slowly peel my eyes open to see him watching me. As our eyes lock I sigh and he smiles that wonderful grin that is so filled with delight and mischief and bucks his hips upward. The feeling that creates causes me to whimper at his movement within me. Moving my hands to beside him I lift up, feeling the delicious friction where our bodies join and tremble while pushing rapidly back then gasping at the magnificent feeling of fullness. That is no longer enough by it self though, as I begin to slowly rock fiery pleasure bolts through me, filling me with heat and need. Both of us are panting now from the incredible sensations. Need this, need him, and feel an equally desperate need from him. It seems like a lifetime since we did this last and it feels splendid. I just want to melt from the heat we are generating. He thrusts upward at an odd moment throwing me slightly of balance which he quickly exploits as he pulls me to his chest causing me to gasp at the mix of unexpected sensations. Pushing up momentarily I look at his face to assure myself I didn't hurt him and I find myself inches from one of his most endearing mischievous grins. In retaliation I work hard at snogging him senseless as I push back and down, rotating my hips to swirl his head around my cervix. The blazing mix of sensations lighting fast surging through me is far more than expected and sends me into a powerful orgasm that bows my back and causes me to grind myself down into his erection as well as scream out my pleasure till there is no air left in my lungs. Fire envelops my brain as I spasm around him uncontrollably. The sensations rebound between our bodies like a rapid-fire ping-pong match. Somewhere far away I feel his restraint shatter and like a dam bursting suddenly every thing becomes even more intense as I feel him swamping me with his own orgasm. For a suspended moment everything is clear as I feel his body jerking with pleasure within and below me then there’s a flare of golden energy and nothing as I lose consciousness.
------------------------------------
At the powerful spike of psychic energy I am frightened, I know Theta and Rose are making love, I would have to be totally blind to miss that fact. This though is too much and as loath as I am to interfere I step in and shield Rose from him as I realize that he isn’t and that this was one of the things he had been afraid would happen four days ago, letting her this close to him when he was still recovering. I know with sickening certainty that if I don't act she will be badly hurt as her human brain can’t handle that kind of powerful input and that I can't allow for any of our sakes. I quickly retreat, though, as I feel him starting to return to his senses and hope he doesn't detect my protective actions as I can see how him knowing would be disastrous for both of them.
------------------------------------
I start as I realize that I was unconscious and my first feeling is fear for Rose and that I might have unintentionally hurt her. But my senses are flooded with her presence and warmth draped exhausted and sleeping across my body. As I gently reach for her mind I find the most important thing of all, she is unharmed so I let my own sated exhaustion drag me into sleep as well.
-----------------------------------
It has been a long day first working with the Doctor then with Verity on the temporal mechanics of working with a time ship and navigating through the Vortex. The ships I have had experience with are like children’s primers in comparison to Verity's complexities. But as hard as it has been, it has also been exhilarating to know that they are willing to work with this ‘dumb ape’, and compared to them I really do feel exceptionally dumb. As Rose finally persuades the Doctor to rest I smile because I suspect rest isn't the only thing on Rose's mind for them to do in bed. It is a suspicion confirmed later as when as I am showering I find myself suddenly exceptionally hard when I feel what is unquestionably the Doctor broadcasting his pleasure. It doesn't take long to find my own release as I think about what he and Rose might have been up to for him to lose control in that manner. In spite of the stressfulness of this last week I realize it is something I wouldn't have missed for the universe.
Chapter 25 - Need (NC17)
(Story Index)