Chapter 08 - WHAT!?!
Rose’s phone begins to ring and they quickly find out that her mum and Mickey have been being chased by yet another of the aliens. As Rose is getting the details the Doctor has an idea, not one he likes as it isn’t something he can directly execute without Mickey’s help but it is an way to get this resolved, to take care of the aliens. As he realizes what the only option left entails the fear begins to build, not for him but for Rose. They are trapped in here and he doesn’t know how he is going to get her out of this. He is beginning to suspect that the only avenue that will be left means putting them at ground zero of a rocket.
As he gets Mickey started on the path to getting what information he can from the UNIT site and, if necessary, a rocket launched. Jackie takes the phone and begins to make accusations, make demands shouting, “I’ve seen this life of yours Doctor and maybe you get off on it and maybe you think it’s all clever and smart but you tell me, just answer me this. Is my daughter safe?”
At her words his hearts skip a beat, she is asking the very question that he hasn’t wanted to because he knows the answer far too well. No, Rose is definitely not safe, and he is all the more damned because he knows it and can’t make himself walk away. He can’t walk away from this young human who has given him a small scrap of joy back in his life, a reason to keep fighting. Jackie has no clue how much he would like to walk away from this constant danger, constant repetitive danger that sucks the life out of person after person around him, but if he doesn’t face it then there will be no one else to do so.
As he tries to find the words to explain, to tell Jackie what and why he does what he does, what he has to face, letting her know that it is anything but a game to him, Mickey announcing that he has got into the site rescues him. As he accesses the site a repeating signal begins to broadcast through the phone line; there is some message being beamed out into space and he has to know what that is so that he can stop these aliens, stop the disaster that is brewing. But before he can decipher it, he is interrupted by the announcement that the Slitheen has found both Jackie and Mickey.
The next few minutes are tense as he desperately tries to figure out a way to for them to escape, without them everything is lost. Working with Harriet and Rose, tag teaming him with facts they know about the Slitheen, he finally figures out where they come from and what will save them all. Having Mickey and Jackie go to the kitchen he has them assemble anything acidic that they can throw at it to keep it from killing them; based on the information provided by Rose and Harriet he has figured out their home planet is planet Raxacoricofallapatorius and they are composed primary of organic calcium. Shortly they hear the explosion of the alien as it is doused with the acidic bath.
But there is almost no time to revel in their success, he knows they still are faced with the more global problem of their presence on the planet and why. As Mickey and Jackie emerge from the kitchen the TV that was had been left on in the background catches their attention. The Slitheen are making an announcement that the planet is being threatened by alien forces a direct ploy to ensure planetary wide panic. As they listen to the announcement he sees how the pieces are coming together and doesn’t like the picture that is assembling and at the same time knowing that he must confirm what he has begun to suspect. Knowing the Slitheen wouldn’t have left the room unguarded he opens the door to speak with their guard who confirms his worst suspicions. They plan to destroy the planet with nuclear armaments and sell the resulting nuclear debris to the highest bidders.
He knows now that there are no other options left; he has to destroy them, destroy the entire family Slitheen, regardless of the cost to Rose, Harriet and himself. The hours tick by as he feverishly tries to think of some other way to escape his brain running circles around and around the facts as useless as a hamster in an exercise wheel. Finally he knows that he can delay no longer, hating himself, hating the circumstances that have brought him to having to destroy people he cares about for the greater good. He is faced yet again with the need for the few die so the many will survive. The worst part is that unless he is totally destroyed by the blast he will probably live, being faced again with this knowledge of his own actions, more ghosts to haunt his days. He doesn’t know if he can do this again, he doesn’t know if he can face Rose’s mother. He knows he won’t be able to face himself, knowing that because he was yet again a coward and didn’t leave her behind Rose died. Yet this is the only choice left and his hearts clench in despair as he forces himself to reply to Rose’s desperate cry “if we could just get out of here!”
His words are soft and oh so painfully drug from his lips “There’s a way out, there has always been a way out.”
In a tone of complete disbelief she asks, “Then why don’t we use it?”
He answers not Rose but her mother on the other end of the phone, begging for her understanding, her forgiveness of what he knows he must do. “Because I can’t guarantee your daughter will be safe.”
Jackie’s reply of “Don’t you dare, whatever it is don’t you dare!” cuts him to the quick.
His reply is strangled and screams the conflict of his soul “That’s the thing, if I don’t dare everyone dies.”
Roses reply of, “Do it!” floors him.
Boggled he says, “You don’t even know what it is you’d just let me?”
“Yeah,” is her quick reply and he is humbled by her trust, almost struck speechless by her faith in him. He has no clue what has done to engender this complete and utter confidence he can feel she has in him. His mind is reeling as he stares at her.
Jackie’s words register as his eyes lock with Rose’s across the table. “Please Doctor, please, she’s my daughter, she’s just a kid!”
As he stares at Rose in continuing disbelief he replies to Jackie, “Do you think I don’t know that? ‘Cause this is my life Jackie, it’s not fun, it’s not smart, it’s just standing up and making a decision, because nobody else will.”
Rose’s quiet question amazes him as she says, “then what are you waiting for?” She can feel his hearts wrenching grief, it practically drowning her as it is pouring off of him, the anguish as he speaks each word as he replies to her mum and she can’t stand to see him in such pain. She would rather die then see him suffering like this.
His reply flabbergasts her, “I could save the world but loose you,” as she feels the incredible need, the incredible love that he has for her and she doesn’t know what to say; she has never felt such intense emotions as these, all she can do is stare at him. She has no words, ensnared as she is in his eyes. His eyes pleading for forgiveness, understanding and his needs are practically palpable in the air between them. There they remain caught like flies in amber, each left speechless by the emotions flowing from the other, until Harriet’s words break the spell. “Except it’s not your decision Doctor, it’s mine.”
Jackie’s indignant reply comes through but it no longer matters to him, the decision has been made and for once he is not then final judge, jury and executioner. Harriet has taken the decision, the responsibility out of his hands and he feels what he considers an obscene level relief that this time he has been spared that responsibly. Rose has accepted him in a way he never thought possible even as deep in the core of his being he rages against himself for feeling joy in the midst of this disaster. Then he shoves away all emotions, focusing on getting the job done; there will be plenty of time for grief and regret if he survives. He quickly works with Mickey to wend him though the screens of the UNIT web page to get to the missile launch controls. He is going to have Mickey launch a missile straight at them and if they’re lucky, only if they are very, very lucky, they might survive, but it’s the only choice left.
As the missile is launched he stares, knowing that he has almost certainly doomed everyone in the room, and somehow he just can’t seem to care that he’s going to die. He’s been given a trust far greater then he deserves and knows that even if by some fluke he does survive, Rose and Harriet most certainly will not.
Moments later Rose is planning on how they can survive, using logic far better then his own ability to cope at this time and he stares for a moment as Rose and Harriet begin to strip out the contents of a small storage closet trying to remove everything that might get thrown about. He knows he doesn’t have time to take down the shelves in the tiny room but everything else is quickly pulled out into the main chamber till all that remains in the small space is they and a few loose papers. Holding tight to each other’s hands they prepare for the blast. A blast, which seems like hours in coming but he knows by his inner chronometer is only seconds after they settle on the floor. The next moments are filled with the incredible roar as the missile detonates and sends their small refuge rolling and flipping to come to rest with an ear-ringing bang. For long moments they sit stunned at their own survival, the room pitch black yet amazingly right side up. The Doctor is the first to recover from the shock, his voice cracking as he calls out for Rose, reaching around blindly in the darkened space desperately hoping beyond hope that she is all right. Moments later his groping fingers find warm flesh and he hears the most glorious sounds he thinks he has ever heard at Harriet’s moan and an almost hysterical giggle from Rose as she realizes the Doctor and Harriet are alive. Within moments they have determined that no permanent damage has been done and set about finding the access panel that the Doctor makes quick work releasing with his sonic screwdriver.
As Harriet runs off to meet her destiny, the Doctor turns to look at Rose with the most incredibly intense look she has ever seen, his blue eyes almost glittering. Then he pulls her into a hug of gratitude and for a long moment they hold each other in the sunshine, glorying in being alive.
When they let go it’s with a new understanding that there will be no letting go, regardless of the physical distance between them. It’s something neither of them says, but both know and as they follow in Harriet’s wake the Doctor finally has placed where he knows Harriet Jones from, telling Rose of Harriet’s near future. When he quits speaking they continue on for a time, walking in quiet companionship. They pause for a few moments at the corner as Rose calls her mum to let her know they are all okay and he smiles as Rose, grinning ear to ear, reassures her that they are well. Moments later Mickey is on the phone volunteering to come pick them up and they agree to meet him just out the cordoned off area, a block down from the rubble of Ten Downing Street.
As they walk to the pick up point Rose is distracted from her own thoughts as she begins to feel his distress; he is thinking about how very close they came to this being their last day together. Knowing already from the short time she has been with him the way he takes on all the grief of the universe for things that go wrong and never any of the credit, she reaches over to capture his hand, giving him a stunning smile.
He looks up suddenly as she grasps his hand and, as he is met with a smile, his own lips curl up in an answering one. He doesn’t know how this time he has been so lucky but is grateful nonetheless. As they pull up to the council estates the Doctor gets out, unwilling to go up to the apartment with Rose, knowing she will need some time with her mum. Choosing to pursue his own reunion with the TARDIS after Rose extracts from a firm promise that he won’t go anywhere till she comes back downstairs. Mickey decides that he really needs a shower before anything else and he too goes his own way after briefly shaking the Doctor’s hand and giving Rose a quick sideways hug to prevent her being smeared with the remains of the Slitheen and vinegar mix that still adorns his shirt.
The Doctor enters the TARDIS with a gleeful delight as he receives an intense psychic hug from her on entering. Leaping about the console he sets about turning off the perception filters and preparing her for leaving, just glorying in being alive and reunited with his oldest companion. For a time he fiddles with her dials and just enjoys the comforting feeling of her presence in his mind. Deciding after a short time that a good cup a tea is just what is called for he heads off for the kitchen. It doesn’t take long for him to become bored and he paces for a bit wondering how long she is going to be; the longer he paces the more anxious he becomes; what if her mum talks her into staying? One ‘what if?’ is followed by another till finally he can no longer contain himself and heads off to the console room to call Rose.
When Rose answers and begins speaking to him of her mum cooking, his fear climbs higher, he has to convince her to come back now before her mum convinces her to stay, so he staunchly refuses to do anything that would include him returning to the apartment. Finally in exasperation he states, “You can stay there if you want,” immediately regretting the words as they leave his lips. He hurries to tell her about a beautiful plasma storm in the Horse Head Nebula, painting a picture with words of the incredible adventure that he could show her, at last finishing up with “Your choice” and quickly hangs up. A lump forms in his throat as he realizes with a sudden wave of panic that she might not come. Quickly stuffing the emotion away he focuses on the TARDIS controls as he rationalizes that if she doesn’t come it would be okay, she would be safe, and it’s not like he needs her to survive, he is a Time Lord and they don’t need humans to survive. Even in his own mind his arguments seem unconvincing.
It would take him two hours to get the things he needed taken care of for them to be ready to go. She knows the time frame and if she wants to come she will.
Chapter 09 - Dreaming (G) or (NC-17)
As he gets Mickey started on the path to getting what information he can from the UNIT site and, if necessary, a rocket launched. Jackie takes the phone and begins to make accusations, make demands shouting, “I’ve seen this life of yours Doctor and maybe you get off on it and maybe you think it’s all clever and smart but you tell me, just answer me this. Is my daughter safe?”
At her words his hearts skip a beat, she is asking the very question that he hasn’t wanted to because he knows the answer far too well. No, Rose is definitely not safe, and he is all the more damned because he knows it and can’t make himself walk away. He can’t walk away from this young human who has given him a small scrap of joy back in his life, a reason to keep fighting. Jackie has no clue how much he would like to walk away from this constant danger, constant repetitive danger that sucks the life out of person after person around him, but if he doesn’t face it then there will be no one else to do so.
As he tries to find the words to explain, to tell Jackie what and why he does what he does, what he has to face, letting her know that it is anything but a game to him, Mickey announcing that he has got into the site rescues him. As he accesses the site a repeating signal begins to broadcast through the phone line; there is some message being beamed out into space and he has to know what that is so that he can stop these aliens, stop the disaster that is brewing. But before he can decipher it, he is interrupted by the announcement that the Slitheen has found both Jackie and Mickey.
The next few minutes are tense as he desperately tries to figure out a way to for them to escape, without them everything is lost. Working with Harriet and Rose, tag teaming him with facts they know about the Slitheen, he finally figures out where they come from and what will save them all. Having Mickey and Jackie go to the kitchen he has them assemble anything acidic that they can throw at it to keep it from killing them; based on the information provided by Rose and Harriet he has figured out their home planet is planet Raxacoricofallapatorius and they are composed primary of organic calcium. Shortly they hear the explosion of the alien as it is doused with the acidic bath.
But there is almost no time to revel in their success, he knows they still are faced with the more global problem of their presence on the planet and why. As Mickey and Jackie emerge from the kitchen the TV that was had been left on in the background catches their attention. The Slitheen are making an announcement that the planet is being threatened by alien forces a direct ploy to ensure planetary wide panic. As they listen to the announcement he sees how the pieces are coming together and doesn’t like the picture that is assembling and at the same time knowing that he must confirm what he has begun to suspect. Knowing the Slitheen wouldn’t have left the room unguarded he opens the door to speak with their guard who confirms his worst suspicions. They plan to destroy the planet with nuclear armaments and sell the resulting nuclear debris to the highest bidders.
He knows now that there are no other options left; he has to destroy them, destroy the entire family Slitheen, regardless of the cost to Rose, Harriet and himself. The hours tick by as he feverishly tries to think of some other way to escape his brain running circles around and around the facts as useless as a hamster in an exercise wheel. Finally he knows that he can delay no longer, hating himself, hating the circumstances that have brought him to having to destroy people he cares about for the greater good. He is faced yet again with the need for the few die so the many will survive. The worst part is that unless he is totally destroyed by the blast he will probably live, being faced again with this knowledge of his own actions, more ghosts to haunt his days. He doesn’t know if he can do this again, he doesn’t know if he can face Rose’s mother. He knows he won’t be able to face himself, knowing that because he was yet again a coward and didn’t leave her behind Rose died. Yet this is the only choice left and his hearts clench in despair as he forces himself to reply to Rose’s desperate cry “if we could just get out of here!”
His words are soft and oh so painfully drug from his lips “There’s a way out, there has always been a way out.”
In a tone of complete disbelief she asks, “Then why don’t we use it?”
He answers not Rose but her mother on the other end of the phone, begging for her understanding, her forgiveness of what he knows he must do. “Because I can’t guarantee your daughter will be safe.”
Jackie’s reply of “Don’t you dare, whatever it is don’t you dare!” cuts him to the quick.
His reply is strangled and screams the conflict of his soul “That’s the thing, if I don’t dare everyone dies.”
Roses reply of, “Do it!” floors him.
Boggled he says, “You don’t even know what it is you’d just let me?”
“Yeah,” is her quick reply and he is humbled by her trust, almost struck speechless by her faith in him. He has no clue what has done to engender this complete and utter confidence he can feel she has in him. His mind is reeling as he stares at her.
Jackie’s words register as his eyes lock with Rose’s across the table. “Please Doctor, please, she’s my daughter, she’s just a kid!”
As he stares at Rose in continuing disbelief he replies to Jackie, “Do you think I don’t know that? ‘Cause this is my life Jackie, it’s not fun, it’s not smart, it’s just standing up and making a decision, because nobody else will.”
Rose’s quiet question amazes him as she says, “then what are you waiting for?” She can feel his hearts wrenching grief, it practically drowning her as it is pouring off of him, the anguish as he speaks each word as he replies to her mum and she can’t stand to see him in such pain. She would rather die then see him suffering like this.
His reply flabbergasts her, “I could save the world but loose you,” as she feels the incredible need, the incredible love that he has for her and she doesn’t know what to say; she has never felt such intense emotions as these, all she can do is stare at him. She has no words, ensnared as she is in his eyes. His eyes pleading for forgiveness, understanding and his needs are practically palpable in the air between them. There they remain caught like flies in amber, each left speechless by the emotions flowing from the other, until Harriet’s words break the spell. “Except it’s not your decision Doctor, it’s mine.”
Jackie’s indignant reply comes through but it no longer matters to him, the decision has been made and for once he is not then final judge, jury and executioner. Harriet has taken the decision, the responsibility out of his hands and he feels what he considers an obscene level relief that this time he has been spared that responsibly. Rose has accepted him in a way he never thought possible even as deep in the core of his being he rages against himself for feeling joy in the midst of this disaster. Then he shoves away all emotions, focusing on getting the job done; there will be plenty of time for grief and regret if he survives. He quickly works with Mickey to wend him though the screens of the UNIT web page to get to the missile launch controls. He is going to have Mickey launch a missile straight at them and if they’re lucky, only if they are very, very lucky, they might survive, but it’s the only choice left.
As the missile is launched he stares, knowing that he has almost certainly doomed everyone in the room, and somehow he just can’t seem to care that he’s going to die. He’s been given a trust far greater then he deserves and knows that even if by some fluke he does survive, Rose and Harriet most certainly will not.
Moments later Rose is planning on how they can survive, using logic far better then his own ability to cope at this time and he stares for a moment as Rose and Harriet begin to strip out the contents of a small storage closet trying to remove everything that might get thrown about. He knows he doesn’t have time to take down the shelves in the tiny room but everything else is quickly pulled out into the main chamber till all that remains in the small space is they and a few loose papers. Holding tight to each other’s hands they prepare for the blast. A blast, which seems like hours in coming but he knows by his inner chronometer is only seconds after they settle on the floor. The next moments are filled with the incredible roar as the missile detonates and sends their small refuge rolling and flipping to come to rest with an ear-ringing bang. For long moments they sit stunned at their own survival, the room pitch black yet amazingly right side up. The Doctor is the first to recover from the shock, his voice cracking as he calls out for Rose, reaching around blindly in the darkened space desperately hoping beyond hope that she is all right. Moments later his groping fingers find warm flesh and he hears the most glorious sounds he thinks he has ever heard at Harriet’s moan and an almost hysterical giggle from Rose as she realizes the Doctor and Harriet are alive. Within moments they have determined that no permanent damage has been done and set about finding the access panel that the Doctor makes quick work releasing with his sonic screwdriver.
As Harriet runs off to meet her destiny, the Doctor turns to look at Rose with the most incredibly intense look she has ever seen, his blue eyes almost glittering. Then he pulls her into a hug of gratitude and for a long moment they hold each other in the sunshine, glorying in being alive.
When they let go it’s with a new understanding that there will be no letting go, regardless of the physical distance between them. It’s something neither of them says, but both know and as they follow in Harriet’s wake the Doctor finally has placed where he knows Harriet Jones from, telling Rose of Harriet’s near future. When he quits speaking they continue on for a time, walking in quiet companionship. They pause for a few moments at the corner as Rose calls her mum to let her know they are all okay and he smiles as Rose, grinning ear to ear, reassures her that they are well. Moments later Mickey is on the phone volunteering to come pick them up and they agree to meet him just out the cordoned off area, a block down from the rubble of Ten Downing Street.
As they walk to the pick up point Rose is distracted from her own thoughts as she begins to feel his distress; he is thinking about how very close they came to this being their last day together. Knowing already from the short time she has been with him the way he takes on all the grief of the universe for things that go wrong and never any of the credit, she reaches over to capture his hand, giving him a stunning smile.
He looks up suddenly as she grasps his hand and, as he is met with a smile, his own lips curl up in an answering one. He doesn’t know how this time he has been so lucky but is grateful nonetheless. As they pull up to the council estates the Doctor gets out, unwilling to go up to the apartment with Rose, knowing she will need some time with her mum. Choosing to pursue his own reunion with the TARDIS after Rose extracts from a firm promise that he won’t go anywhere till she comes back downstairs. Mickey decides that he really needs a shower before anything else and he too goes his own way after briefly shaking the Doctor’s hand and giving Rose a quick sideways hug to prevent her being smeared with the remains of the Slitheen and vinegar mix that still adorns his shirt.
The Doctor enters the TARDIS with a gleeful delight as he receives an intense psychic hug from her on entering. Leaping about the console he sets about turning off the perception filters and preparing her for leaving, just glorying in being alive and reunited with his oldest companion. For a time he fiddles with her dials and just enjoys the comforting feeling of her presence in his mind. Deciding after a short time that a good cup a tea is just what is called for he heads off for the kitchen. It doesn’t take long for him to become bored and he paces for a bit wondering how long she is going to be; the longer he paces the more anxious he becomes; what if her mum talks her into staying? One ‘what if?’ is followed by another till finally he can no longer contain himself and heads off to the console room to call Rose.
When Rose answers and begins speaking to him of her mum cooking, his fear climbs higher, he has to convince her to come back now before her mum convinces her to stay, so he staunchly refuses to do anything that would include him returning to the apartment. Finally in exasperation he states, “You can stay there if you want,” immediately regretting the words as they leave his lips. He hurries to tell her about a beautiful plasma storm in the Horse Head Nebula, painting a picture with words of the incredible adventure that he could show her, at last finishing up with “Your choice” and quickly hangs up. A lump forms in his throat as he realizes with a sudden wave of panic that she might not come. Quickly stuffing the emotion away he focuses on the TARDIS controls as he rationalizes that if she doesn’t come it would be okay, she would be safe, and it’s not like he needs her to survive, he is a Time Lord and they don’t need humans to survive. Even in his own mind his arguments seem unconvincing.
It would take him two hours to get the things he needed taken care of for them to be ready to go. She knows the time frame and if she wants to come she will.
Chapter 09 - Dreaming (G) or (NC-17)