Unexpected Destinies Chapter 44
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 2,679
Summary: Dean still doesn't trust Raphael.
PAST
Dean cranked up the volume of his music as his favorite AC/DC tape started playing "Back in Black" and he began singing along loudly. He had a brief flash of the bitchface Sam had thrown his way the last time he'd done this when they'd been together, before shoving it aside. Clearly there were some advantages to not having his brother with him. His grin turned dirty as he thought of other ways in which it was nice not have Sam about. He'd hate to have to be discrete about his relationship with Castiel and he just didn't know how his brother would take that. Nor did he care much for the idea of having to think about the fact that someone could walk in on them at any time. It took the spontaneity out of things.
Thoughts of his lover merely increased Dean's good mood and he began drumming along with the music on the steering wheel. Castiel had said that he'd come by in the late afternoon and he was already planning on where he could order food from so that they wouldn't have to leave the room. He'd ganked the ghouls he'd come to town to hunt and thus had the rest of the day free before he moved on to his next hunt tomorrow. Well, if none of the archangels had an alternate assignment for him anyway.
The thought still had the power to amaze him even months after not only Castiel's return to Earth, but after Michael's as well. But therein lay the crux of the matter. Michael had already been out of the cage for just ever two months and the cage was rapidly deteriorating. It was just a matter of time before Lucifer broke free and then no one- not even God he was pretty sure- knew what would happen next. They'd had multiple discussions on the matter and both Michael and Raphael had been adamant that they couldn't kill Lucifer, not as in it was impossible to do, but as in that doing so- ending the Apocalypse as it had been originally been intended even if the rest of the details were off- they would be ending the world as it currently was.
So, basically, if they wanted to prevent Paradise from being forced upon everyone, not to mention the undoubtedly bloody and cataclysmic battle that would lead up to Lucifer's death, they had to find another way. The problem was, other than locking Lucifer back in his cage, they were all coming up blank. With Michael unable to create a new cage without God's help, Dean was really starting to worry that they wouldn't find an alternative option in time to prevent the devil from walking free once more and it was always enough to put a damper on his spirits.
With a frustrated sigh, Dean turned down the volume of his music and wished, not for the first time, that something would simply fall into their laps. Oh, he had no real illusions that it would be that simple, but everyone could have their little fantasies, couldn't they? He just wanted it to be over, it had been one thing after another for so long that he had a hard time remembering what life was like without feeling like the weight world was resting on his shoulders, something not helped by the fact that it currently really was. Literally. The fact that Castiel kept saying he had no plans of leaving anytime soon only made him wish all the harder for an end to this Apocalypse, though there was still fear there as well. Could he handle a real relationship without something this huge eating up most of their time? If he was honest with himself, he knew that he wasn't sure but, surprisingly for the first time in his life, he wanted to try it and see.
"Well, that's great," Dean muttered, pulling into the motel's parking lot.
His good mood was officially gone now, making him jittery with the residual adrenaline from the hunt. Dean hated feeling like this, especially when he'd been in such high spirits only a short while ago. He'd drop his stuff off inside and then perhaps go for a run, see if he couldn't work it off in a constructive manner. He generally had so many hunts and fights lately that he didn't need to worry about doing too much additional training to stay in shape, but it never hurt and now it might help take his thoughts off such depressing and deep things.
He was aware of another presence in the room as soon as the door opened, but wasn't immediately alarmed until he caught sight of Raphael sitting in the room's sole chair.
"What the hell are yo- oh, hey, Cas," Dean said.
He felt kinda sheepish just then for his outburst. Of course either Michael or Castiel needed to be around if Raphael was present. Unlike the other two, Raphael wasn't able to track him at will and would have needed to call him in order to show up here without one of his brothers. It was because of this mild embarrassment that it took him half a minute longer than normal to realize that not only had his lover not returned his greeting, but he hadn't moved a muscle.
"Cas?" Dean questioned, horror and dread flooding his system.
"He cannot answer you," Raphael stated.
"Why not?"
The purpose of the question was purely to distract the archangel as Dean tried desperately to remember where the hell he had left the Jewel of Abel. He'd become lax as of late with it, the sudden unexpected reversal of Michael's stance on the Apocalypse having lulled him into a stupid sense of security. Although he still knew what a serious threat Lucifer was and he was doing everything in his power to prevent his escape from the cage, the sheer power of his lover and their new ally made it difficult to remember at times that he might be attacked in such a way as to need the Jewel of Abel on him at all times. If he made it through this, he'd make sure to rectify that oversight. Christ, but his father would tear him a new one if he were still here!
"I have trapped him, his Grace and vessel alike, freezing him in place," Raphael explained.
The moment Dean was sure the Jewel of Abel was in the front pocket of his duffel, he lunged for it, sailing past his lover who was seated at the foot of the bed. He'd been too well trained to even hesitate, knowing that to deviate from his goal, from acquiring the only weapon in the room that would work against Raphael, if even for a second, would result in failure. His only hope was to have caught the archangel off-guard enough for him to get to his duffel and put the freaking thing on before Raphael managed to react.
He failed.
The impact of another body knocking into him, sent Dean against the wall where he was easily pinned by Raphael's superior strength. He half expected to be hit or further slammed into the wall, but neither happened. That didn't deter him from trying to break free even though he knew, rationally, that he had no hope against the archangel's strength. The fucking bastard was attacking Castiel! Again. He was damned if he was just going to stand about idly, letting Raphael hurt his lover.
"Enough!" Raphael ordered. "Cease this ridiculous behavior at once."
"Let me go!"
"Not until you obey."
"Over my dead body!"
"I am not hurting him, this is part of his training."
"Like hell it is!" Dean snapped back. "Michael is training Cas, not you."
Before Dean could say anything else, Raphael's hard gaze softened fractionally and he nodded his head once, decisively. "Well done, Brother."
"Release him, Raphael," Castiel commanded quietly.
Dean's eyes widened in surprise and he craned his neck to see past the archangel pinning him to the wall. "Cas?"
He wasn't sure why he even asked as he was in no doubt as to who had spoken. He'd recognize his lover's voice anywhere and that particular tone Castiel was using was also very familiar to him. It had been burned into his memory less from hearing it often and more from the threat it had conveyed the first time he'd heard it, that night at Bobby's house when his angel had first told him about the seals and Lucifer. It was a tone that promised violence and Heavenly retribution if disobeyed.
"I have not harmed him, merely prevented him from acquiring the means with which to attack me," Raphael replied.
"I know, but you will release him immediately. Dean, he was telling you the truth, this was part of a training session."
The words made Dean scowl, especially when Raphael's face took on a distinctly unangelic look of superiority. Well, at least it would be unangelic to anyone who didn't really know angels, for him it was an entirely natural thing to see on a Heavenly douchebag.
"Training for what?" Dean demanded.
"To prevent Lucifer from trapping him in that manner, of course," Raphael stated.
Dean narrowed his eyes at the bastard, ready to tell him he wasn't asking him, but a feminine voice from outside cut him off.
"Excuse me, hello?" the words were accompanied by a tentative knock on door and all of them froze. "Is everything alright in there?"
He blinked as he realized that the slamming and shouting must have attracted the attention of the people next door, but Dean couldn't fathom why this woman had thought it a good idea to come by in person. Most people would simply have called the front desk or the cops instead of taking the risk of interrupt what could have been a really ugly situation.
"Hello?"
"Shit, I'll take this," Dean hissed. "You two behave." Raphael looked like he was ready to start sputtering in anger, but Dean didn't think the archangel knew enough about human reactions to actually follow through on that. Oh, well, his loss really. Raising his voice he called out. "Just a minute!"
/
Castiel raised a finger to stop his brother from speaking as soon as the door closed behind his mate. He had no desire to make whatever explanations Dean would have to give the woman any more difficult then they already were. Once he was sure his hunter'd had the time to steer her a bit further away from the door, he turned his attention back to the other archangel.
"Why does he still distrust me so much?" Raphael demanded of him. "He's forgiven Michael and has appeared to start trusting him."
"You killed me."
Raphael appeared genuinely confused and Castiel knew that his brother truly didn't know his mate. So it was no surprise to him that his brother had never quite managed to catch Dean or even seen what was coming that night they'd trapped him in the holy fire.
"I have apologized to you for that already," Raphael stated.
"Yes, and I have forgiven you for it, but have you told Dean of this?"
"Why would I need to do that?"
"Because Dean cares far more for others then he does about himself. If it had been him you'd killed, he'd probably already have forgiven you for it and moved on."
"That is not the human way."
"Perhaps not," Castiel conceded. "But it is Dean's way."
"He does not think much of himself," Michael stated from behind Castiel, startling him as he hadn't sensed the arrival of his other brother. "He does not see his own worth."
"No, he does not," Castiel confirmed for Raphael who was looking at Michael in disbelief.
He hesitated, knowing that his mate wouldn't appreciate him telling his brothers too much about him, but Castiel felt that things would work better if they knew Dean better. It was by getting to know his hunter that he'd come to realize that what Zachariah and his brothers and sisters were doing was wrong. His mate might think himself worthless, much to his eternal dismay and regret, but he was the noblest and most righteous being he'd ever met. If only he could show Dean his own soul, then he'd never be able to doubt himself again.
"When I was pulling him from Hell, he resisted as he did not think that he deserved to be saved," Castiel finally said. "On some level he still does not think that he deserved it."
The expression on Raphael's face was peculiar and Castiel wished once more that he was better at reading human expressions. He felt like he was missing a whole side of his mate without this skill, but with Dean at least he knew how to read his soul, with his brother he didn't have this advantage.
"The righteous man did not think he was worth saving?" Raphael questioned incredulously.
"Yes."
"Then why did he resist Michael so vehemently and for so long? If he does not consider himself worth what he was given?"
"Because it was the right thing to do. Dean, as the Righteous Man, has a highly developed sense of what is just and as much as he won't do something for himself, he will go to extraordinary lengths for others and for what is right. He said no and would have kept saying no because he simply could not accept the deaths of everyone who would die in Lucifer and Michael's fight."
"And he does not want Paradise," Michael added darkly.
"Yes, that too," Castiel agreed.
It still pained him greatly to know his mate viewed Heaven with such trepidation and resignation. That Dean didn't view it as a well deserved reward, but rather as an inevitable destination; a better alternative to Hell but nothing desirable in its own right. It pained Castiel, but he could definitely understand why his hunter thought so negatively of his home after his experience there. All he could do was reassure Dean that things were now done differently and then show his mate what Heaven was really like when his time came. The thought of Dean's inevitable mortal death filled him with all manner of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, the mere idea of it filled him with horror and dread as he knew that with his mate's occupation, he was unlikely to die either peaceably or easy, but on the other hand, he knew that Dean was destined for Heaven. Once there, his mate would finally be able to lay down his weapons to rest and enjoy himself, and he planned to make sure that Dean got the best of what his home had to offer. It was an odd mixture of conflicting emotions and he found it easiest to shove them all aside and focus on the present. The rest would come when it did and in the meantime he planned to ensure that his mate lived as long as he could because Earth was clearly Dean's favorite place to be.
"And this has to do with why he will not forgive me?" Raphael asked.
"I do not know about will not, but definitely why he has not yet done so," Castiel replied.
"You attacked and killed someone very important to him," Michael added. "Even though Father brought Castiel back, that is a very grave offense in his eyes."
Castiel felt what he was sure was a surge of hope and pride at his brother's words. Although he had been ready to refuse Michael's original plea to be heard, he had since come to know the first archangel far better and started to view him as a true brother instead of an enemy as he had been. It thus pleased him greatly to see that Michael had not only started to understand him, as evidenced during their training sessions, but Dean as well.
It made him more hopeful that they could end this war favorably.
Chapter 45
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 2,679
Summary: Dean still doesn't trust Raphael.
PAST
Dean cranked up the volume of his music as his favorite AC/DC tape started playing "Back in Black" and he began singing along loudly. He had a brief flash of the bitchface Sam had thrown his way the last time he'd done this when they'd been together, before shoving it aside. Clearly there were some advantages to not having his brother with him. His grin turned dirty as he thought of other ways in which it was nice not have Sam about. He'd hate to have to be discrete about his relationship with Castiel and he just didn't know how his brother would take that. Nor did he care much for the idea of having to think about the fact that someone could walk in on them at any time. It took the spontaneity out of things.
Thoughts of his lover merely increased Dean's good mood and he began drumming along with the music on the steering wheel. Castiel had said that he'd come by in the late afternoon and he was already planning on where he could order food from so that they wouldn't have to leave the room. He'd ganked the ghouls he'd come to town to hunt and thus had the rest of the day free before he moved on to his next hunt tomorrow. Well, if none of the archangels had an alternate assignment for him anyway.
The thought still had the power to amaze him even months after not only Castiel's return to Earth, but after Michael's as well. But therein lay the crux of the matter. Michael had already been out of the cage for just ever two months and the cage was rapidly deteriorating. It was just a matter of time before Lucifer broke free and then no one- not even God he was pretty sure- knew what would happen next. They'd had multiple discussions on the matter and both Michael and Raphael had been adamant that they couldn't kill Lucifer, not as in it was impossible to do, but as in that doing so- ending the Apocalypse as it had been originally been intended even if the rest of the details were off- they would be ending the world as it currently was.
So, basically, if they wanted to prevent Paradise from being forced upon everyone, not to mention the undoubtedly bloody and cataclysmic battle that would lead up to Lucifer's death, they had to find another way. The problem was, other than locking Lucifer back in his cage, they were all coming up blank. With Michael unable to create a new cage without God's help, Dean was really starting to worry that they wouldn't find an alternative option in time to prevent the devil from walking free once more and it was always enough to put a damper on his spirits.
With a frustrated sigh, Dean turned down the volume of his music and wished, not for the first time, that something would simply fall into their laps. Oh, he had no real illusions that it would be that simple, but everyone could have their little fantasies, couldn't they? He just wanted it to be over, it had been one thing after another for so long that he had a hard time remembering what life was like without feeling like the weight world was resting on his shoulders, something not helped by the fact that it currently really was. Literally. The fact that Castiel kept saying he had no plans of leaving anytime soon only made him wish all the harder for an end to this Apocalypse, though there was still fear there as well. Could he handle a real relationship without something this huge eating up most of their time? If he was honest with himself, he knew that he wasn't sure but, surprisingly for the first time in his life, he wanted to try it and see.
"Well, that's great," Dean muttered, pulling into the motel's parking lot.
His good mood was officially gone now, making him jittery with the residual adrenaline from the hunt. Dean hated feeling like this, especially when he'd been in such high spirits only a short while ago. He'd drop his stuff off inside and then perhaps go for a run, see if he couldn't work it off in a constructive manner. He generally had so many hunts and fights lately that he didn't need to worry about doing too much additional training to stay in shape, but it never hurt and now it might help take his thoughts off such depressing and deep things.
He was aware of another presence in the room as soon as the door opened, but wasn't immediately alarmed until he caught sight of Raphael sitting in the room's sole chair.
"What the hell are yo- oh, hey, Cas," Dean said.
He felt kinda sheepish just then for his outburst. Of course either Michael or Castiel needed to be around if Raphael was present. Unlike the other two, Raphael wasn't able to track him at will and would have needed to call him in order to show up here without one of his brothers. It was because of this mild embarrassment that it took him half a minute longer than normal to realize that not only had his lover not returned his greeting, but he hadn't moved a muscle.
"Cas?" Dean questioned, horror and dread flooding his system.
"He cannot answer you," Raphael stated.
"Why not?"
The purpose of the question was purely to distract the archangel as Dean tried desperately to remember where the hell he had left the Jewel of Abel. He'd become lax as of late with it, the sudden unexpected reversal of Michael's stance on the Apocalypse having lulled him into a stupid sense of security. Although he still knew what a serious threat Lucifer was and he was doing everything in his power to prevent his escape from the cage, the sheer power of his lover and their new ally made it difficult to remember at times that he might be attacked in such a way as to need the Jewel of Abel on him at all times. If he made it through this, he'd make sure to rectify that oversight. Christ, but his father would tear him a new one if he were still here!
"I have trapped him, his Grace and vessel alike, freezing him in place," Raphael explained.
The moment Dean was sure the Jewel of Abel was in the front pocket of his duffel, he lunged for it, sailing past his lover who was seated at the foot of the bed. He'd been too well trained to even hesitate, knowing that to deviate from his goal, from acquiring the only weapon in the room that would work against Raphael, if even for a second, would result in failure. His only hope was to have caught the archangel off-guard enough for him to get to his duffel and put the freaking thing on before Raphael managed to react.
He failed.
The impact of another body knocking into him, sent Dean against the wall where he was easily pinned by Raphael's superior strength. He half expected to be hit or further slammed into the wall, but neither happened. That didn't deter him from trying to break free even though he knew, rationally, that he had no hope against the archangel's strength. The fucking bastard was attacking Castiel! Again. He was damned if he was just going to stand about idly, letting Raphael hurt his lover.
"Enough!" Raphael ordered. "Cease this ridiculous behavior at once."
"Let me go!"
"Not until you obey."
"Over my dead body!"
"I am not hurting him, this is part of his training."
"Like hell it is!" Dean snapped back. "Michael is training Cas, not you."
Before Dean could say anything else, Raphael's hard gaze softened fractionally and he nodded his head once, decisively. "Well done, Brother."
"Release him, Raphael," Castiel commanded quietly.
Dean's eyes widened in surprise and he craned his neck to see past the archangel pinning him to the wall. "Cas?"
He wasn't sure why he even asked as he was in no doubt as to who had spoken. He'd recognize his lover's voice anywhere and that particular tone Castiel was using was also very familiar to him. It had been burned into his memory less from hearing it often and more from the threat it had conveyed the first time he'd heard it, that night at Bobby's house when his angel had first told him about the seals and Lucifer. It was a tone that promised violence and Heavenly retribution if disobeyed.
"I have not harmed him, merely prevented him from acquiring the means with which to attack me," Raphael replied.
"I know, but you will release him immediately. Dean, he was telling you the truth, this was part of a training session."
The words made Dean scowl, especially when Raphael's face took on a distinctly unangelic look of superiority. Well, at least it would be unangelic to anyone who didn't really know angels, for him it was an entirely natural thing to see on a Heavenly douchebag.
"Training for what?" Dean demanded.
"To prevent Lucifer from trapping him in that manner, of course," Raphael stated.
Dean narrowed his eyes at the bastard, ready to tell him he wasn't asking him, but a feminine voice from outside cut him off.
"Excuse me, hello?" the words were accompanied by a tentative knock on door and all of them froze. "Is everything alright in there?"
He blinked as he realized that the slamming and shouting must have attracted the attention of the people next door, but Dean couldn't fathom why this woman had thought it a good idea to come by in person. Most people would simply have called the front desk or the cops instead of taking the risk of interrupt what could have been a really ugly situation.
"Hello?"
"Shit, I'll take this," Dean hissed. "You two behave." Raphael looked like he was ready to start sputtering in anger, but Dean didn't think the archangel knew enough about human reactions to actually follow through on that. Oh, well, his loss really. Raising his voice he called out. "Just a minute!"
/
Castiel raised a finger to stop his brother from speaking as soon as the door closed behind his mate. He had no desire to make whatever explanations Dean would have to give the woman any more difficult then they already were. Once he was sure his hunter'd had the time to steer her a bit further away from the door, he turned his attention back to the other archangel.
"Why does he still distrust me so much?" Raphael demanded of him. "He's forgiven Michael and has appeared to start trusting him."
"You killed me."
Raphael appeared genuinely confused and Castiel knew that his brother truly didn't know his mate. So it was no surprise to him that his brother had never quite managed to catch Dean or even seen what was coming that night they'd trapped him in the holy fire.
"I have apologized to you for that already," Raphael stated.
"Yes, and I have forgiven you for it, but have you told Dean of this?"
"Why would I need to do that?"
"Because Dean cares far more for others then he does about himself. If it had been him you'd killed, he'd probably already have forgiven you for it and moved on."
"That is not the human way."
"Perhaps not," Castiel conceded. "But it is Dean's way."
"He does not think much of himself," Michael stated from behind Castiel, startling him as he hadn't sensed the arrival of his other brother. "He does not see his own worth."
"No, he does not," Castiel confirmed for Raphael who was looking at Michael in disbelief.
He hesitated, knowing that his mate wouldn't appreciate him telling his brothers too much about him, but Castiel felt that things would work better if they knew Dean better. It was by getting to know his hunter that he'd come to realize that what Zachariah and his brothers and sisters were doing was wrong. His mate might think himself worthless, much to his eternal dismay and regret, but he was the noblest and most righteous being he'd ever met. If only he could show Dean his own soul, then he'd never be able to doubt himself again.
"When I was pulling him from Hell, he resisted as he did not think that he deserved to be saved," Castiel finally said. "On some level he still does not think that he deserved it."
The expression on Raphael's face was peculiar and Castiel wished once more that he was better at reading human expressions. He felt like he was missing a whole side of his mate without this skill, but with Dean at least he knew how to read his soul, with his brother he didn't have this advantage.
"The righteous man did not think he was worth saving?" Raphael questioned incredulously.
"Yes."
"Then why did he resist Michael so vehemently and for so long? If he does not consider himself worth what he was given?"
"Because it was the right thing to do. Dean, as the Righteous Man, has a highly developed sense of what is just and as much as he won't do something for himself, he will go to extraordinary lengths for others and for what is right. He said no and would have kept saying no because he simply could not accept the deaths of everyone who would die in Lucifer and Michael's fight."
"And he does not want Paradise," Michael added darkly.
"Yes, that too," Castiel agreed.
It still pained him greatly to know his mate viewed Heaven with such trepidation and resignation. That Dean didn't view it as a well deserved reward, but rather as an inevitable destination; a better alternative to Hell but nothing desirable in its own right. It pained Castiel, but he could definitely understand why his hunter thought so negatively of his home after his experience there. All he could do was reassure Dean that things were now done differently and then show his mate what Heaven was really like when his time came. The thought of Dean's inevitable mortal death filled him with all manner of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, the mere idea of it filled him with horror and dread as he knew that with his mate's occupation, he was unlikely to die either peaceably or easy, but on the other hand, he knew that Dean was destined for Heaven. Once there, his mate would finally be able to lay down his weapons to rest and enjoy himself, and he planned to make sure that Dean got the best of what his home had to offer. It was an odd mixture of conflicting emotions and he found it easiest to shove them all aside and focus on the present. The rest would come when it did and in the meantime he planned to ensure that his mate lived as long as he could because Earth was clearly Dean's favorite place to be.
"And this has to do with why he will not forgive me?" Raphael asked.
"I do not know about will not, but definitely why he has not yet done so," Castiel replied.
"You attacked and killed someone very important to him," Michael added. "Even though Father brought Castiel back, that is a very grave offense in his eyes."
Castiel felt what he was sure was a surge of hope and pride at his brother's words. Although he had been ready to refuse Michael's original plea to be heard, he had since come to know the first archangel far better and started to view him as a true brother instead of an enemy as he had been. It thus pleased him greatly to see that Michael had not only started to understand him, as evidenced during their training sessions, but Dean as well.
It made him more hopeful that they could end this war favorably.
Chapter 45