Unexpected Destinies Chapter 82
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,195
Summary: Dean receives another call from the Vatican.
PAST
Dean was so deep into the woods that he was both surprised and impressed when his cell phone rang. He wouldn't have thought that he'd get coverage this far out, but obviously he was wrong. He pulled it out of his pocket and quickly glanced down at the number before answering the call. His eyebrows rose at the long and unfamiliar number before he realized that it was similar to the one that had been in his call history after the Vatican had contacted him that one time.
"Hello," Dean said, turning his eyes back to the burning chupacabra corpse.
"Hello, am I speaking to Mr. Dean Winchester?" the voice was male and heavily accented but the English was still clearly understandable.
"Yeah, you from the Vatican?"
"Yes, Sir."
Dean had to bite back the instinctive rely that came to mind. Not only would the man probably not get it, but the Vatican had been kind enough to just let them walk off with the Jewel of Abel and several priceless books. Not only did he know how valuable such alliances were just now, but he really didn't want to have to explain to Castiel what he'd done if he fucked this one up.
"Would it be possible for you to make another trip here? We have found some more informations about Lucifer and would like to know how else we could be of service to you."
"Uh, now?" Dean asked, wondering when these trans-Atlantic trips had become such a regular occurrence.
If he wasn't careful, he'd find himself just being dragged along for daytrips to Japan and New Zealand soon. Though he bet real Japanese food was probably amazing, not to mention what a genuine kiwi burger in New Zealand might taste like. Maybe he should just let it all happen.
"If that is okay with you."
"Lemme check and get back to you on that. Is this number okay to use?"
"Yes, Sir. We will await your reply."
We will await your reply? Seriously, who the hell still spoke like that? Stuffy religious nutters obviously. Even with all that Dean had learned the past few years, he still couldn't get people who devoted their entire lives to religion. Rather the opposite, in fact, as he'd gone from not believing in God to learning that He was just another deadbeat dad who didn't give a crap about what his children did to humans. Not to mention the fact that with Catholicism there was also the whole celibacy thing. He shuddered just thinking of it, what kind of guy did that anyway? He had to wonder where it came from seeing as how angels definitely didn't all have an aversion to sex. In fact, the two he knew who'd had sex both had clearly loved it.
The thought made Dean think back to his birthday (And had it really been several weeks already? Man how time seemed to fly lately!) fondly. When all was said and done, he and Castiel had just about had as much sex as he could handle in one day. It was as his thoughts turned to the other things that had happened that day that he found his hand creeping up to the new necklace he now wore. It had been a gift from Michael when the archangel had shown up in the afternoon just as he and Castiel were about to have some phenomenal birthday pie that his lover had gotten from France after they'd returned to the present. God but it had been nearly good enough to die for and he'd even managed to talk Michael into trying a piece despite the fact that a part of him just wanted to hog the whole thing for himself.
Anyone else looking at the necklace would simply see an ancient little gold and jade amulet hung on a simple leather chord, much like the necklace he'd worn before. Well, anyone human who looked at it that was. Himself, the angels and various supernatural creatures would be able to see the two feathers that hung beside the amulet, one chocolate brown and the other inky black; Michael's and Castiel's. It was amazing as even without looking at them he could tell the two feathers apart just by the feelings they awoke within him. It was ancient magic, something Michael knew from before that not only allowed the feathers to remain after being separated from the rest of the wings, something which didn't happen for more than a few minutes normally, but something which also allowed them to be tied to a physical object that they would normally pass straight through. They still passed through everything else though, meaning that he felt the feathers brushing against his chest regardless of whether or not he was wearing any clothing, something which was a surprising comfort. The only thing he hadn't liked as much about the whole thing was the fact that Castiel and Michael'd had to pull one of their feathers to make the necklace, but since it had already happened by the time he'd found out about it, he'd not said anything.
It had surprised Dean how good it felt to be wearing something like this again as he'd never quite realized how much he'd missed the comforting weight of his old amulet. It made sense though, given how long he'd worn the other one for, but it was probably due to the fact that he'd been so furious at Sam and that Castiel had called it worthless that he'd blocked the loss out subconsciously, not wanting to think about it too much. An unexpected side benefit of the new one was the way his lover's eyes always darted down to it and the look of satisfaction Castiel got upon seeing that he was still wearing it even if it was Michael's gift and contained one of the first angel's feathers as well as that of his lover. He could only imagine that it was similar to the little thrills he'd used to get upon seeing Cassie or Lisa wearing one of his shirts.
Briefly Dean thought of calling his lover and his thumb hovered over the number one button on his cell, as he'd given the most prominent speed dial slot to Castiel long ago, but then he stopped. The angels had set up a guard rotation around Lucifer's cage to ensure that Simiel didn't do what Raphael had for Michael and pulled Lucifer out. After they'd performed the Rite of Contressa, Raphael had noticed that Lucifer appeared to be significantly weakened which meant that without any outside help, it would take him considerably longer to break out of the cage. He'd been overjoyed at hearing this as it gave them more time to figure something out, but the downside was that it also meant less time with his lover as they really needed an archangel present at all times to dissuade Simiel from launching an attack on those guarding the cage. And right now was Castiel's turn.
So that left Raphael and Michael. Dean briefly considered calling Raphael as the archangel had made this trip before and thus was known to the Vatican, but then he paused. Maybe it was a good idea that they also met Michael in case the archangel ever needed to contact them for any reason. Then a wicked grin crossed his face as he remembered a long rant Cassie had gone on about the misogyny of the Roman Catholic Church when she'd done an article about some bishop or something for a local paper and he could just imagine what meeting a female Michael would do to them. It would definitely shake things up a bit, that was for sure and he found that he really, really, really wanted to see their reactions. It would teach them right for being so prejudiced. Plus he also felt it was something all of the women he knew would appreciate.
"Michael," Dean said, fingering the chocolate feather on his necklace.
The two archangels had assured him that there was no kind of feedback reaching them from the feathers, but Dean still found himself toying with them when he thought of one or the other. It was a habit he would need to watch around others or he'd need to at least make it look like he was toying with the amulet instead or he'd look more than a little crazy. Well with normal people anyway, hunters would at least be able to understand the concept of invisible charms though they might be a bit suspicious.
"If you've got a moment, could you pop by, please? It's nothing urgent."
Dean wasn't even sure if the archangel could hear what he said beyond his name, but he did remember that Michael had been aware of his emotional state the time he'd been with the succubus. So at the very least the archangel should know that he wasn't particularly worked up or hurt now. The lack of an immediate appearance told him that something had gotten through and he turned his attention back to the fire in front of him as he tried to decide how long he could wait before he should call the Vatican back. He didn't exactly know what normal protocol was in these situations. He'd just decided to give it half an hour when he heard the flutter of wings behind him.
"Hello, Dean," Michael greeted.
"Heya, Mike, do you have some free time this afternoon? We got an invite from the Vatican, they say they might have some new stuff for us and they want to know how else they can help."
"For that I have time. Would you like to go now?"
Even before Dean could point out that the chupacabra hadn't finished burning yet, the corpse suddenly flared up in the same violent light as Anna had and then the fire went out leaving nothing but ash.
"Show off," Dean muttered, picking up his shotgun. "Could we stop back at the room first? I'm staying at the Village Main motel off of the only highway in town. Oh, and don't forget-"
"The Impala. Do not worry, Little One, I would not."
Dean wondered what it said that Michael didn't need reminding of his baby. Either he'd trained the archangel well enough already or someone else, Castiel most likely, had told Michael how important she was to him. Well, either that or Michael had noticed it for himself, though he couldn't particularly recall ever having been with his baby much while the archangel was around. In fact, if the Impala were a person instead of just his baby, he knew she'd be resentful of how much he'd been neglecting her lately and he made a mental note to give her a good overhaul just as soon as the weather improved. Or he could just head South and do it there. He was sure he could find some small hunts to do between Apocalypse research while down there and there could well be some religious libraries in the area that they hadn't looked at yet, what with it being the Bible belt and all.
The world shifted around them and then they were in his room.
"Give me five," Dean said as he grabbed a new set of clothes and quickly called the Vatican back to give them an ETA.
What he was currently wearing was covered in dirt, sweat and chupacabra blood from the hunt, not to mention the fact that he smelled like smoke. It wasn't so much that he cared what they thought of him, but when he and Raphael had gone to the Vatican, they'd been there for a while and he'd really rather not be wearing what he was now for that long. He took a lightning fast shower, changed his clothes and redid his hair before stepping back out into the main room.
"These are from the Vatican, right?" Michael asked, indicating one of the piles of books in the room.
"Yeah," Dean replied. "I think we're done with all of their books except for A Treatise on the Origin of Demons."
"Very well."
It no longer made Dean pause to see one of his angelic companions display a show of such strength as Michael picking up all of the books with one hand and no effort, but it did make him smile.
"Let's go," Dean said, stepping close to the archangel.
When the world reformed around Dean, he found himself back in the same room he'd been in the last time. And, just like back then, it was filled with a lot of people, all of them male, drawing a little smile from him. Unlike the last time, however, a lot of the people present were dressed like clowns. Or at least clowns were the closest thing that he could think of given that they weren't actually wearing any face paint, but it was a fairly accurate description for what they were wearing. It was stripped blue and yellow with red and orange worked into it. The pants were those puffy ones that they'd worn in the past with what looked like tights that covered part of their shoes. There were also white gloves and a stiff, frilly white neck collar thing, like Shakespeare sometimes wore in the books Sam had read of him, and a belt with a sword. The whole getup was topped off with either a black or silver helmet with multiple colors and a purple feather of some kind. He could also spot a few more subdued, crimson versions of the costume present in the room as well.
Dean was so distracted by the outfits that it took him a moment to realize who else was present. He didn't know much about the Roman Catholic Church, but even he knew who the scarlet robed figures were or the old guy dressed in elaborate white robes with a white skull cape of some kind, at least that was what it looked like to him. His eyes nearly popped out of his head as he realized that the pope had shown up for their visit. He knew the guy was there to see whatever angel accompanied him, but still, the pope! The thought of how jealous Sam would be- again!- was enough of a distraction to make him realize that someone was addressing them.
"Sorry, what?" Dean asked.
"Thank you for coming," the man repeated and Dean realized it was the dude from the phone.
"Yeah, well, your previous books helped us greatly. We've brought most of them back, we're just keeping one for now."
The gesture that Dean made towards the stack of books that had been deposited on a nearby table reminded him that he'd yet to introduce Michael and he could see how the archangel was the center of attention. He half turned towards his friend and that seemed to be all the invitation the guy needed.
"Who is this angel lady?"
Dean bit back a smile. "This is the archangel Michael."
The reaction was instantaneous and a ripple of shock, awe and disbelief spread through the room. For his part, Michael seemed more confused than anything else and that made Dean really smile. The action drew the archangel's attention and he nudged his feathered friend.
"You've just displaced Raphael as the most impressive visitor they've ever had here," Dean whispered.
"Why are they so surprised?" Michael inquired.
"'Cause Aunt Deirdre is female."
"And?"
"And the church is heavily pro-male and anti-female."
"Why?"
"Dunno. Maybe because of Eve and what she did."
It hadn't occurred to Dean quite how close Michael was standing to him until he realized that the guy he'd been speaking to before hadn't been able to overhear what the two of them had said to each other. This particular archangel wasn't as bad as Castiel had originally been, but it was a close call.
"Michael?" another voice demanded.
When Dean turned around it was to find someone dressed in the scarlet clown outfit approaching them. The man was of average height and built with close cropped dark hair and eyes. Clown guy wore glasses but they did nothing to diminish the air of authority that surrounded him even within this room where there were clearly men of far higher rank present. Dean resisted the urge to straighten his spine and come to attention.
"Yes," Michael replied, clearly not disturbed by the ridiculous costume.
That was probably the most jarring part of the whole thing. If Dean had only seen the man's face, he'd have said clown guy was a down to Earth, take no shit kind of person. It was rare that he was this wrong about someone, so he was wondering if he wasn't just missing something entirely here. In addition to having the strangest desire to straighten his spine, he also felt the urge to start addressing the guy as 'Sir' in the same way Dad and some of John's old marine buddies had inspired and that just kinda pissed him off coming from clown guy. As was the suspicious look in the man's eyes.
"And who are you?" Dean demanded, swallowing the word hell he'd normally have inserted into that sentence.
The question seemed to startle clown guy as well as several of the other people around them and Dean frowned. Was he supposed to know this man? He racked his brain for something but came up empty. It had to have something to do with the stupid costume clown guy was wearing as it was too distinctive to not be instantly recognizable. It was just too bad for them that he didn't know enough about the Roman Catholic Church to know what it represented.
"I'm Colonel Daniel Rudolf Anrig, Commander of the Pontifical Swiss Guard," clown guy stated rather proudly.
"Pointy Swiss Guard?" Dean repeated confused.
The facial expression clown guy pulled would have been enough to make Dean laugh under any other circumstances, but something about the man's posture put him on edge. This guy was highly trained and dangerous, that he knew for sure as Dad had taught him how to look past deceptive appearances from a young age and clown guy clearly carried himself as someone ready and able to fight at a moment's notice. Not that it made his appearance any less moronic.
"Pontifical," clown guy corrected tersely. "And we are the Papal security force."
"Oh, okay. So, Anriky, what do you want with Mike?"
Clown guy's facial muscles twitched at his butchering of the man's name and then again at his nickname for the archangel and Dean was almost starting to have fun with this. He'd always had an unhealthy fascination with making overtly formal people lose their stuffiness, usually by outraging them somehow, and clown guy clearly fit the bill despite his ridiculous getup.
"We have received word from Belgium," Anrig stated pulling out a piece of paper from the folder he held. "And Father Pieter-Jan says that this is Michael."
When clown guy turned the sheet of paper around, Dean found himself looking at a startlingly good drawing of himself.
A.N.: Sorry for the delay in this, but I just couldn't write after learning about how part of this fic was plagiarized as I mentioned here. Not only was I too furious, but I was afraid that I'd ruin what I wanted to write and thus elected not to write anything until I'd cooled down enough.
Chapter 83
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,195
Summary: Dean receives another call from the Vatican.
PAST
Dean was so deep into the woods that he was both surprised and impressed when his cell phone rang. He wouldn't have thought that he'd get coverage this far out, but obviously he was wrong. He pulled it out of his pocket and quickly glanced down at the number before answering the call. His eyebrows rose at the long and unfamiliar number before he realized that it was similar to the one that had been in his call history after the Vatican had contacted him that one time.
"Hello," Dean said, turning his eyes back to the burning chupacabra corpse.
"Hello, am I speaking to Mr. Dean Winchester?" the voice was male and heavily accented but the English was still clearly understandable.
"Yeah, you from the Vatican?"
"Yes, Sir."
Dean had to bite back the instinctive rely that came to mind. Not only would the man probably not get it, but the Vatican had been kind enough to just let them walk off with the Jewel of Abel and several priceless books. Not only did he know how valuable such alliances were just now, but he really didn't want to have to explain to Castiel what he'd done if he fucked this one up.
"Would it be possible for you to make another trip here? We have found some more informations about Lucifer and would like to know how else we could be of service to you."
"Uh, now?" Dean asked, wondering when these trans-Atlantic trips had become such a regular occurrence.
If he wasn't careful, he'd find himself just being dragged along for daytrips to Japan and New Zealand soon. Though he bet real Japanese food was probably amazing, not to mention what a genuine kiwi burger in New Zealand might taste like. Maybe he should just let it all happen.
"If that is okay with you."
"Lemme check and get back to you on that. Is this number okay to use?"
"Yes, Sir. We will await your reply."
We will await your reply? Seriously, who the hell still spoke like that? Stuffy religious nutters obviously. Even with all that Dean had learned the past few years, he still couldn't get people who devoted their entire lives to religion. Rather the opposite, in fact, as he'd gone from not believing in God to learning that He was just another deadbeat dad who didn't give a crap about what his children did to humans. Not to mention the fact that with Catholicism there was also the whole celibacy thing. He shuddered just thinking of it, what kind of guy did that anyway? He had to wonder where it came from seeing as how angels definitely didn't all have an aversion to sex. In fact, the two he knew who'd had sex both had clearly loved it.
The thought made Dean think back to his birthday (And had it really been several weeks already? Man how time seemed to fly lately!) fondly. When all was said and done, he and Castiel had just about had as much sex as he could handle in one day. It was as his thoughts turned to the other things that had happened that day that he found his hand creeping up to the new necklace he now wore. It had been a gift from Michael when the archangel had shown up in the afternoon just as he and Castiel were about to have some phenomenal birthday pie that his lover had gotten from France after they'd returned to the present. God but it had been nearly good enough to die for and he'd even managed to talk Michael into trying a piece despite the fact that a part of him just wanted to hog the whole thing for himself.
Anyone else looking at the necklace would simply see an ancient little gold and jade amulet hung on a simple leather chord, much like the necklace he'd worn before. Well, anyone human who looked at it that was. Himself, the angels and various supernatural creatures would be able to see the two feathers that hung beside the amulet, one chocolate brown and the other inky black; Michael's and Castiel's. It was amazing as even without looking at them he could tell the two feathers apart just by the feelings they awoke within him. It was ancient magic, something Michael knew from before that not only allowed the feathers to remain after being separated from the rest of the wings, something which didn't happen for more than a few minutes normally, but something which also allowed them to be tied to a physical object that they would normally pass straight through. They still passed through everything else though, meaning that he felt the feathers brushing against his chest regardless of whether or not he was wearing any clothing, something which was a surprising comfort. The only thing he hadn't liked as much about the whole thing was the fact that Castiel and Michael'd had to pull one of their feathers to make the necklace, but since it had already happened by the time he'd found out about it, he'd not said anything.
It had surprised Dean how good it felt to be wearing something like this again as he'd never quite realized how much he'd missed the comforting weight of his old amulet. It made sense though, given how long he'd worn the other one for, but it was probably due to the fact that he'd been so furious at Sam and that Castiel had called it worthless that he'd blocked the loss out subconsciously, not wanting to think about it too much. An unexpected side benefit of the new one was the way his lover's eyes always darted down to it and the look of satisfaction Castiel got upon seeing that he was still wearing it even if it was Michael's gift and contained one of the first angel's feathers as well as that of his lover. He could only imagine that it was similar to the little thrills he'd used to get upon seeing Cassie or Lisa wearing one of his shirts.
Briefly Dean thought of calling his lover and his thumb hovered over the number one button on his cell, as he'd given the most prominent speed dial slot to Castiel long ago, but then he stopped. The angels had set up a guard rotation around Lucifer's cage to ensure that Simiel didn't do what Raphael had for Michael and pulled Lucifer out. After they'd performed the Rite of Contressa, Raphael had noticed that Lucifer appeared to be significantly weakened which meant that without any outside help, it would take him considerably longer to break out of the cage. He'd been overjoyed at hearing this as it gave them more time to figure something out, but the downside was that it also meant less time with his lover as they really needed an archangel present at all times to dissuade Simiel from launching an attack on those guarding the cage. And right now was Castiel's turn.
So that left Raphael and Michael. Dean briefly considered calling Raphael as the archangel had made this trip before and thus was known to the Vatican, but then he paused. Maybe it was a good idea that they also met Michael in case the archangel ever needed to contact them for any reason. Then a wicked grin crossed his face as he remembered a long rant Cassie had gone on about the misogyny of the Roman Catholic Church when she'd done an article about some bishop or something for a local paper and he could just imagine what meeting a female Michael would do to them. It would definitely shake things up a bit, that was for sure and he found that he really, really, really wanted to see their reactions. It would teach them right for being so prejudiced. Plus he also felt it was something all of the women he knew would appreciate.
"Michael," Dean said, fingering the chocolate feather on his necklace.
The two archangels had assured him that there was no kind of feedback reaching them from the feathers, but Dean still found himself toying with them when he thought of one or the other. It was a habit he would need to watch around others or he'd need to at least make it look like he was toying with the amulet instead or he'd look more than a little crazy. Well with normal people anyway, hunters would at least be able to understand the concept of invisible charms though they might be a bit suspicious.
"If you've got a moment, could you pop by, please? It's nothing urgent."
Dean wasn't even sure if the archangel could hear what he said beyond his name, but he did remember that Michael had been aware of his emotional state the time he'd been with the succubus. So at the very least the archangel should know that he wasn't particularly worked up or hurt now. The lack of an immediate appearance told him that something had gotten through and he turned his attention back to the fire in front of him as he tried to decide how long he could wait before he should call the Vatican back. He didn't exactly know what normal protocol was in these situations. He'd just decided to give it half an hour when he heard the flutter of wings behind him.
"Hello, Dean," Michael greeted.
"Heya, Mike, do you have some free time this afternoon? We got an invite from the Vatican, they say they might have some new stuff for us and they want to know how else they can help."
"For that I have time. Would you like to go now?"
Even before Dean could point out that the chupacabra hadn't finished burning yet, the corpse suddenly flared up in the same violent light as Anna had and then the fire went out leaving nothing but ash.
"Show off," Dean muttered, picking up his shotgun. "Could we stop back at the room first? I'm staying at the Village Main motel off of the only highway in town. Oh, and don't forget-"
"The Impala. Do not worry, Little One, I would not."
Dean wondered what it said that Michael didn't need reminding of his baby. Either he'd trained the archangel well enough already or someone else, Castiel most likely, had told Michael how important she was to him. Well, either that or Michael had noticed it for himself, though he couldn't particularly recall ever having been with his baby much while the archangel was around. In fact, if the Impala were a person instead of just his baby, he knew she'd be resentful of how much he'd been neglecting her lately and he made a mental note to give her a good overhaul just as soon as the weather improved. Or he could just head South and do it there. He was sure he could find some small hunts to do between Apocalypse research while down there and there could well be some religious libraries in the area that they hadn't looked at yet, what with it being the Bible belt and all.
The world shifted around them and then they were in his room.
"Give me five," Dean said as he grabbed a new set of clothes and quickly called the Vatican back to give them an ETA.
What he was currently wearing was covered in dirt, sweat and chupacabra blood from the hunt, not to mention the fact that he smelled like smoke. It wasn't so much that he cared what they thought of him, but when he and Raphael had gone to the Vatican, they'd been there for a while and he'd really rather not be wearing what he was now for that long. He took a lightning fast shower, changed his clothes and redid his hair before stepping back out into the main room.
"These are from the Vatican, right?" Michael asked, indicating one of the piles of books in the room.
"Yeah," Dean replied. "I think we're done with all of their books except for A Treatise on the Origin of Demons."
"Very well."
It no longer made Dean pause to see one of his angelic companions display a show of such strength as Michael picking up all of the books with one hand and no effort, but it did make him smile.
"Let's go," Dean said, stepping close to the archangel.
When the world reformed around Dean, he found himself back in the same room he'd been in the last time. And, just like back then, it was filled with a lot of people, all of them male, drawing a little smile from him. Unlike the last time, however, a lot of the people present were dressed like clowns. Or at least clowns were the closest thing that he could think of given that they weren't actually wearing any face paint, but it was a fairly accurate description for what they were wearing. It was stripped blue and yellow with red and orange worked into it. The pants were those puffy ones that they'd worn in the past with what looked like tights that covered part of their shoes. There were also white gloves and a stiff, frilly white neck collar thing, like Shakespeare sometimes wore in the books Sam had read of him, and a belt with a sword. The whole getup was topped off with either a black or silver helmet with multiple colors and a purple feather of some kind. He could also spot a few more subdued, crimson versions of the costume present in the room as well.
Dean was so distracted by the outfits that it took him a moment to realize who else was present. He didn't know much about the Roman Catholic Church, but even he knew who the scarlet robed figures were or the old guy dressed in elaborate white robes with a white skull cape of some kind, at least that was what it looked like to him. His eyes nearly popped out of his head as he realized that the pope had shown up for their visit. He knew the guy was there to see whatever angel accompanied him, but still, the pope! The thought of how jealous Sam would be- again!- was enough of a distraction to make him realize that someone was addressing them.
"Sorry, what?" Dean asked.
"Thank you for coming," the man repeated and Dean realized it was the dude from the phone.
"Yeah, well, your previous books helped us greatly. We've brought most of them back, we're just keeping one for now."
The gesture that Dean made towards the stack of books that had been deposited on a nearby table reminded him that he'd yet to introduce Michael and he could see how the archangel was the center of attention. He half turned towards his friend and that seemed to be all the invitation the guy needed.
"Who is this angel lady?"
Dean bit back a smile. "This is the archangel Michael."
The reaction was instantaneous and a ripple of shock, awe and disbelief spread through the room. For his part, Michael seemed more confused than anything else and that made Dean really smile. The action drew the archangel's attention and he nudged his feathered friend.
"You've just displaced Raphael as the most impressive visitor they've ever had here," Dean whispered.
"Why are they so surprised?" Michael inquired.
"'Cause Aunt Deirdre is female."
"And?"
"And the church is heavily pro-male and anti-female."
"Why?"
"Dunno. Maybe because of Eve and what she did."
It hadn't occurred to Dean quite how close Michael was standing to him until he realized that the guy he'd been speaking to before hadn't been able to overhear what the two of them had said to each other. This particular archangel wasn't as bad as Castiel had originally been, but it was a close call.
"Michael?" another voice demanded.
When Dean turned around it was to find someone dressed in the scarlet clown outfit approaching them. The man was of average height and built with close cropped dark hair and eyes. Clown guy wore glasses but they did nothing to diminish the air of authority that surrounded him even within this room where there were clearly men of far higher rank present. Dean resisted the urge to straighten his spine and come to attention.
"Yes," Michael replied, clearly not disturbed by the ridiculous costume.
That was probably the most jarring part of the whole thing. If Dean had only seen the man's face, he'd have said clown guy was a down to Earth, take no shit kind of person. It was rare that he was this wrong about someone, so he was wondering if he wasn't just missing something entirely here. In addition to having the strangest desire to straighten his spine, he also felt the urge to start addressing the guy as 'Sir' in the same way Dad and some of John's old marine buddies had inspired and that just kinda pissed him off coming from clown guy. As was the suspicious look in the man's eyes.
"And who are you?" Dean demanded, swallowing the word hell he'd normally have inserted into that sentence.
The question seemed to startle clown guy as well as several of the other people around them and Dean frowned. Was he supposed to know this man? He racked his brain for something but came up empty. It had to have something to do with the stupid costume clown guy was wearing as it was too distinctive to not be instantly recognizable. It was just too bad for them that he didn't know enough about the Roman Catholic Church to know what it represented.
"I'm Colonel Daniel Rudolf Anrig, Commander of the Pontifical Swiss Guard," clown guy stated rather proudly.
"Pointy Swiss Guard?" Dean repeated confused.
The facial expression clown guy pulled would have been enough to make Dean laugh under any other circumstances, but something about the man's posture put him on edge. This guy was highly trained and dangerous, that he knew for sure as Dad had taught him how to look past deceptive appearances from a young age and clown guy clearly carried himself as someone ready and able to fight at a moment's notice. Not that it made his appearance any less moronic.
"Pontifical," clown guy corrected tersely. "And we are the Papal security force."
"Oh, okay. So, Anriky, what do you want with Mike?"
Clown guy's facial muscles twitched at his butchering of the man's name and then again at his nickname for the archangel and Dean was almost starting to have fun with this. He'd always had an unhealthy fascination with making overtly formal people lose their stuffiness, usually by outraging them somehow, and clown guy clearly fit the bill despite his ridiculous getup.
"We have received word from Belgium," Anrig stated pulling out a piece of paper from the folder he held. "And Father Pieter-Jan says that this is Michael."
When clown guy turned the sheet of paper around, Dean found himself looking at a startlingly good drawing of himself.
A.N.: Sorry for the delay in this, but I just couldn't write after learning about how part of this fic was plagiarized as I mentioned here. Not only was I too furious, but I was afraid that I'd ruin what I wanted to write and thus elected not to write anything until I'd cooled down enough.
Chapter 83