Unexpected Destinies Chapter 99
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,639
Summary: Dean finds a place to hunker down and waits for word on Castiel's condition.
PAST
Dean smiled in satisfaction when the last of the groceries had been put away and the kitchen was all tidy once more. Well, as tidy as the dingy little thing could get but it was more than enough for what he needed and so he was happy with it. Besides he knew he couldn't really expect too much more from a one bedroom apartment that was rented out by the week so even if getting it had seemed extravagant to what he was used to, he knew it was still considered crap by most standards. Oh well it was relatively clean and private so he was happy. As for the additional costs, well that was why he had a shiny new credit card from the Vatican, right? After all, no way would they complain if they knew he'd gotten it so Castiel could recover in comfort.
Truth be told, Dean was actually rather proud of his find. Given the short notice and the fact that he'd wanted to be somewhere out of the way while still being within relatively short driving distance of stores should he need anything, he'd done really well. And so what if it didn't have all of the amenities that a motel had, it had the essentials and they could do without the rest. Like the TV for instance. Yeah he'd miss it but he had a ton of research to do anyway and any free time he had would be spent with Castiel and his lover had never really gotten into TV. Sure, his angel would watch stuff with him on occasion but more often than not he'd found Castiel's attention wandering with his angel actually taking care of things in Heaven instead of following what was on. At other times his lover would chose to indulge in one of his favorite pastimes, namely Dean watching which was what Castiel did most of the time anyway, TV or no TV.
So, yeah, Dean figured he'd done good. Turning around, he did a quick walk through of the rest of the place, the small living room with a table shoved in one corner, a beat-up sofa in another and a wobbly bookshelf between them, the bedroom with the double bed and, importantly, brand new sheets (he'd taken one look at what was left behind and even he knew that new ones were needed) and finally the bathroom which had a surprisingly large shower. It had been one of the other selling points of this place for him. He knew that once Castiel was feeling a bit better that his lover would love the enlarged place to indulge his little water kink. Surprisingly the reminder and the thought of all that they'd gotten up to in countless shower stalls across the country (and the occasional bath or two when a room had happened to come with one) didn't send a spike of arousal through him as it normally did.
No, instead Dean felt a pang of fear as he thought of his angel and the condition in which they'd found Castiel and how gruesome those wounds had been. It was nearly enough to make him physically ill and as it was he had to force himself not to start hyperventilating. Cas would be fine, he'd heard Miniel's report himself, his lover was in no more danger. Yeah, he knew that things might not all work out, but the most essential part he was already sure of, the rest they could deal with if necessary. Inevitably his thoughts veered towards what it would do to Castiel if his wings never fully recovered and he tried to shove the thought aside. He knew what such a handicap would do to him and it wasn't something he ever wanted his lover to have to experience. Castiel was an angel- no, an archangel now- and thus shouldn't have to deal with that stuff.
Dean laughed without humor as he thought back to what he'd used to think of angels. General knowledge seemed to think them invincible and God but how he wished that were true just now. Their damn near invulnerability had lulled him into a false sense of security as far as anything but Lucifer and the other fallen angels were concerned and therefore this had hit him far harder than it otherwise might have. But damn had that false sense of security felt good. It was almost enough to make him understand how and why some people they came across who'd seen enough to know what was out there still somehow managed to convince themselves that it hadn't been real; that they'd imagined it somehow or been given a hallucinogenic. It was a nice and safe way to handle things.
For the first time in his life, Dean actually felt the urge to pray. Too bad he already knew what a douche and deadbeat God really was, otherwise he might actually have given into it. Unfortunately he did and thus he shoved the stupid desire aside in favor of far more useful and productive things. Wandering back to the living room, he finished out his cell and dropped onto the couch. He hit speed dial number two and waited.
And waited and waited. Dean had just pulled the phone from his ear to frown at it and wonder if something had happened when the ringing stopped and he heard a tiny voice through the speaker.
"Heya, Mike, everything okay there?" Dean asked.
"Yes, Dean."
"You sure? You kinda took a while to answer."
"I had to retrieve the phone from my pocket."
Was it just him or did the archangel sound somewhat uncomfortable? The thought made Dean smile as he realized that it probably wasn't often that Michael didn't know how to do something. God, it turned out, had not thought it necessary to endow his angels with the knowledge of how to operate modern technology. Combined with The Man's lack of foresight when it came to driving skills, he was beginning to seriously question God's supposed and much touted all knowingness. Clearly He had forgotten some key things when creating His angels. Though he supposed if he was going to think about it like that, then those were some of the least of God's mistakes with Lucifer ranking right up there as number one followed by others like Simiel, Uriel and Zachariah to name only a few.
"Have you heard any more from Miniel or Raphael?" Dean questioned.
"No, Little One. I promise to let you know as soon as I know more," Michael replied patiently. "Have you found yourself a nest?"
"You're a ball of laughs, Michael."
"I do not understand this description, it does not make any logical sense."
Dean chuckled. "It's an expression."
"Why do humans so often create and use expressions that do not actually describe what they are meant to convey?"
"I don't know, you're asking the wrong person."
There was a moment of silence that Dean found surprisingly easy and it made him wonder just how used to angelic quirks he'd grown. Humans would never normally allow this much time to pass without speaking, not while on the phone anyway. Not that he cared now that the Vatican was footing the bill. He pouted at the reminder of the conversation where Castiel had told him to stop charging his phone bill to strangers. Between his angel and those priests they were wrecking all of his fun. He'd been damn good at the credit card fraud and cell phone bill evasion even if he did say so himself. Doing things the legal way was just no fun, plus it meant that he'd actually have to clean up this place before he went instead of simply leaving all of the salt and devil's traps he'd put out and up. Not to mention the fact that he planned on painting at least one angel banishment sigil on the wall, just in case he had any unexpected company when none of his angels were around. Perhaps he should leave the cleanup to Castiel what with it being his lover who wanted him to use his own name and Vatican money for renting things and all.
"I dislike not being able to see you when I am speaking with you," Michael finally stated.
The words startled a laugh out of Dean and he could only imagine the archangel's displeased frown but it was more than enough. Was that why all of his archangels had avoided using the phones he'd given them as much as possible? Even Castiel had never been very happy with using it and still wasn't despite all of the practice his lover'd had with it now.
"Yeah, well, there's no helping that just now," Dean answered. "Look, I just called to say that I'm at forty-five Lilac Court about a hundred miles east of where I was before, okay?"
"This is where you'll stay?"
"Yep, it's an apartment that's got everything we need for Cas to be here a while and I'm going to make sure to keep a low profile."
"You will not hunt?"
"I won't look for any hunts but if I happen to hear about something then I'll probably deal with it. I just don't want to draw any attention to myself or do anything that'll mean I have to leave. I'll just buckle down and do research instead."
Dean wondered if Michael could hear the resignation in his voice. It definitely wasn't something he was looking forward to, but it was both necessary and the best thing to do at the present.
"Very well."
/
Dean had gotten through more books than he cared to think about before anything happened, but when it did, it sure happened fast. He'd resigned himself to another day of nothing but research and had just been contemplating going out for dinner that evening when Michael had called to let him know that Raphael had given his approval for Castiel to come back down to Earth to finish recuperating. The news had sent him over the moon even if he'd immediately started worrying about whether everything would be good enough for his lover and if perhaps it wasn't better if Castiel remained in Heaven where he could receive expert, round the clock care. But then he'd tried to reason with that part of himself, telling it that Raphael owed him no favors and wouldn't risk his brother's life just to please him. So it had to be okay for his angel to be here.
It had to be.
He'd done a final sweep of the room, checking and rechecking all of the salt lines and wards before trying to think of anything he might need to run out to the store to get and that had been the point at which Dean realized just how ridiculous he was being. This was Castiel they were talking about here and not just another human. His lover wouldn't need any food or anything so materialistic and even if he did, he doubted Raphael would leave it up to him to get it. Not when Heaven could undoubtedly provide far better versions of it with a mere thought.
Then, suddenly, Raphael and Castiel were there and Dean had found himself frozen to the spot. In his head he'd pictured himself rushing forwards the moment the two archangels appeared, instantly helping his lover and glorying in the feel of him, alive and recovering. Instead he found himself rooted to the spot, completely unable to move or do anything more than stare. Castiel looked good, far better than the last time he'd seen him in fact though that wasn't saying too much in and of itself based on how horribly wounded his angel had been. But Miniel had been right, Castiel's vessel had been completely restored and there wasn't a single thing to indicate that it had ever been otherwise. His lover's wings however were a completely different story.
Just one look was enough to nearly turn Dean's stomach but he managed to fight it down. The left wings weren't too bad and only had the odd patch or two with missing feathers. The skin underneath was red and inflamed, but overall it wasn't too bad. The right wings though were what captured and held his attention and horrified fascination. They were a mess with what looked like still healing lacerations and wounds that were still obviously burn marks. He wondered again if it was a good idea for Castiel to be here on Earth instead of with the Healers in Heaven and though he wanted nothing more than to grab his angel and never let him go again, he knew that he'd let him go if it were in his lover's best interest.
"Dean."
That one word was enough to cut straight through Dean's unexpected paralysis and the next thing he knew he was at his lover's side, his complete attention focused solely on the angel before him. "Cas."
The arm that Castiel didn't have slung across his brother's shoulders reached out for him and Dean stepped closer, letting his lover touch him without reaching or straining himself. It was pure bliss and his own hand came up to press Castiel's more tightly against his face and it was all that he could do not to crush his angel to him. The only thing that held him back was the knowledge that he might hurt his lover if he did so and instead he locked his gaze to that of Castiel and hoped that his eyes conveyed all that he felt as his voice had abandoned him as it was wont to do in times of extreme emotional overload.
"We should get him on the bed," Raphael said an indeterminate amount of time later though it took a few moments for the meaning of the words to penetrate and a few more for Dean to tear his eyes away from his lover.
"Huh?" Dean said.
"Castiel needs to rest in order to continue recuperating."
"Oh! Right."
The words spurred Dean into action and he managed to tear himself away enough so that he turned to face the bed. Since he'd assumed that he'd have a bit more warning of his lover's arrival, he hadn't exactly made the bed that morning so it took little work to pull the sheet and blanket aside so that Raphael could ease Castiel onto the mattress.
"I thought he was doing better," Dean said, not liking how little Castiel moved beyond turning his head so that his lover could continue to stare at him.
"He is," Raphael replied.
"He doesn't look it."
"Castiel has recovered enough to start actively healing himself but it is taking a lot of energy, hence the reason he is conserving it in all other areas."
Damn but if that didn't make Dean feel guilty he didn't know what would. The desire to be selfish and keep his mouth shut rose within him with surprising strength, enough to startle him, but he pushed it down, knowing that he couldn't just let it go.
"Wouldn't... wouldn't it then be better for him to stay in Heaven?" Dean forced out. "I mean if everything is still taxing him so much? Surely being in a vessel can't be helping that any?"
The look Raphael gave him was part startled, part assessing and part something that Dean couldn't quite make out. He might have been able to figure it out if he'd had more time to think about it, but just then Castiel said his name again and all of his attention was instantly diverted.
"I'm here," Dean reassured his lover, dropping to his knees beside the bed to bring himself level with Castiel's head so his angel didn't need to strain to see him. "I'm right here, shh."
Just the simple ability to reach out and touch his lover without the possibility of hurting him was such a relief to Dean that he sagged forwards against the bed while running his fingers through Castiel's soft hair. His angel made a contented sound and reached out to curl the fingers of one hand loosely in his clothing. He completely lost track of what Raphael was doing until the archangel settled himself on the bed beside Castiel and his lover's face twisted in an anticipatory grimace as if knowing what was coming and that it would hurt. His lover was proven right when Raphael's hands reached out and gently pulled one of the injured wings towards himself and started doing something to it.
The way Castiel's fingers spasmed tighter around his clothing and the small, pained noises his lover made nearly had Dean leaping onto the bed to tackle Raphael away from his angel. Only the knowledge that the archangel was actually helping stilled the impulse. He managed to just soothe Castiel for a few moments before the situation got the better of him. He was not used to being the idle one when someone he loved was hurt and being taken care of. It was one of the reasons why he'd taken to the first aid training his father had given him so well despite the fact that it didn't involve killing anything supernatural, as he couldn't stand to be unable to do anything to help.
"Can I help?" Dean asked.
Raphael paused in his ministrations and turned to give him another assessing look. The impulse to say something smartass rose within him as it always did in these circumstances as he absolutely hated to be judged, but Dean shoved it down ruthlessly. Even he knew that this was neither the time nor the place for that and he desperately wanted the archangel to see how serious he was about this as right now being able to help Castiel meant more to him than anything else. Hell he'd beg if that was what it took to be of use to his lover.
Finally Raphael nodded once before indicating the bed right in front of him. "Come here and I will show you what to do."
Dean all but scrambled to his feet though he took the time to wait until Castiel had released his grip on his shirt so as not to jar his angel. Carefully he climbed onto the bed beside the two archangels where he thought he'd have a good view of what Raphael did.
"I said over here," Raphael stated, indicating a spot just before him.
"I can see from here," Dean replied with a slight frown.
He knew that angels lacked almost all concept of personal space, but it had never really been an issue with Raphael before as the archangel had always seemed more inclined to avoid any contact with him rather than anything else. So therefore he was a littl-
Dean yelped as Raphael reached out and literally picked him up like he was nothing more than a rag doll or a small child and plopped him down on the bed right in front of him. Then, before he could so much as utter a protest, the archangel was leaning forward and he was surrounded, a chest pressed up against his back, arms over his own arms and hands covering his so that Raphael could control every move he made.
"Dude, what the hell?" Dean finally squawked in protest, voice far higher than he liked to acknowledge.
"Hush and pay attention," Raphael stated simply.
The command was so much like that which one might give to a small child that Dean bristled instinctively but the archangel, if he noticed, paid it no heed, guiding his fingers down to the base of Castiel's wings where some of his oil glands were.
"First you coat your fingers liberally with oil," Raphael instructed, squeezing his fingers so they milked the gland. "If you are not sure how much to use it is better to take too much rather than too little. Then you choose one of the injuries to start with."
Either Castiel could sense his nervousness or his lover simply wanted him to start with one of the less serious wounds, but Castiel unfurled one of his left wings and angled it back towards them so Dean could reach one of the stray injuries there. At the same time his angel reached back with a hand and rested it on his thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. And that was just totally wrong but so Castiel to always be worried about him even when it was his lover who was the one that was injured.
"Now you coat it with oil and then rub it in," Raphael continued before making a disapproving sound and pressing down more firmly on his fingers. "No, you need to press harder."
"Won't that hurt him?" Dean resisted but was no match for the archangel's superior strength.
"He is not human and it would cause more damage if the wound was not properly oiled than you could by exerting too much strength."
Oh, right, angel. Dean swallowed once and steeled himself before pressing down harder, though he kept a careful ear out for any increase in the sounds of pain or discomfort from his lover. It wasn't until he was doing it, fingers running gently but firmly over his lover's wings and something calmed within him that he realized what else had motivated his request to help: jealousy. Castiel was his lover and he knew how strongly angels felt about their wings and so to see another reaching out and touching what was his had bothered him on a deep emotional level even though logically he knew Raphael was only doing his job and helping Castiel.
And damnit, but if he smelled like Raphael after this then he was going to whip the archangel's sorry ass.
A.N.: OMG, I can't believe that the next chapter is 100! And I originally though the fic would be 20-25 chapters long, lol.
Chapter 100
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,639
Summary: Dean finds a place to hunker down and waits for word on Castiel's condition.
PAST
Dean smiled in satisfaction when the last of the groceries had been put away and the kitchen was all tidy once more. Well, as tidy as the dingy little thing could get but it was more than enough for what he needed and so he was happy with it. Besides he knew he couldn't really expect too much more from a one bedroom apartment that was rented out by the week so even if getting it had seemed extravagant to what he was used to, he knew it was still considered crap by most standards. Oh well it was relatively clean and private so he was happy. As for the additional costs, well that was why he had a shiny new credit card from the Vatican, right? After all, no way would they complain if they knew he'd gotten it so Castiel could recover in comfort.
Truth be told, Dean was actually rather proud of his find. Given the short notice and the fact that he'd wanted to be somewhere out of the way while still being within relatively short driving distance of stores should he need anything, he'd done really well. And so what if it didn't have all of the amenities that a motel had, it had the essentials and they could do without the rest. Like the TV for instance. Yeah he'd miss it but he had a ton of research to do anyway and any free time he had would be spent with Castiel and his lover had never really gotten into TV. Sure, his angel would watch stuff with him on occasion but more often than not he'd found Castiel's attention wandering with his angel actually taking care of things in Heaven instead of following what was on. At other times his lover would chose to indulge in one of his favorite pastimes, namely Dean watching which was what Castiel did most of the time anyway, TV or no TV.
So, yeah, Dean figured he'd done good. Turning around, he did a quick walk through of the rest of the place, the small living room with a table shoved in one corner, a beat-up sofa in another and a wobbly bookshelf between them, the bedroom with the double bed and, importantly, brand new sheets (he'd taken one look at what was left behind and even he knew that new ones were needed) and finally the bathroom which had a surprisingly large shower. It had been one of the other selling points of this place for him. He knew that once Castiel was feeling a bit better that his lover would love the enlarged place to indulge his little water kink. Surprisingly the reminder and the thought of all that they'd gotten up to in countless shower stalls across the country (and the occasional bath or two when a room had happened to come with one) didn't send a spike of arousal through him as it normally did.
No, instead Dean felt a pang of fear as he thought of his angel and the condition in which they'd found Castiel and how gruesome those wounds had been. It was nearly enough to make him physically ill and as it was he had to force himself not to start hyperventilating. Cas would be fine, he'd heard Miniel's report himself, his lover was in no more danger. Yeah, he knew that things might not all work out, but the most essential part he was already sure of, the rest they could deal with if necessary. Inevitably his thoughts veered towards what it would do to Castiel if his wings never fully recovered and he tried to shove the thought aside. He knew what such a handicap would do to him and it wasn't something he ever wanted his lover to have to experience. Castiel was an angel- no, an archangel now- and thus shouldn't have to deal with that stuff.
Dean laughed without humor as he thought back to what he'd used to think of angels. General knowledge seemed to think them invincible and God but how he wished that were true just now. Their damn near invulnerability had lulled him into a false sense of security as far as anything but Lucifer and the other fallen angels were concerned and therefore this had hit him far harder than it otherwise might have. But damn had that false sense of security felt good. It was almost enough to make him understand how and why some people they came across who'd seen enough to know what was out there still somehow managed to convince themselves that it hadn't been real; that they'd imagined it somehow or been given a hallucinogenic. It was a nice and safe way to handle things.
For the first time in his life, Dean actually felt the urge to pray. Too bad he already knew what a douche and deadbeat God really was, otherwise he might actually have given into it. Unfortunately he did and thus he shoved the stupid desire aside in favor of far more useful and productive things. Wandering back to the living room, he finished out his cell and dropped onto the couch. He hit speed dial number two and waited.
And waited and waited. Dean had just pulled the phone from his ear to frown at it and wonder if something had happened when the ringing stopped and he heard a tiny voice through the speaker.
"Heya, Mike, everything okay there?" Dean asked.
"Yes, Dean."
"You sure? You kinda took a while to answer."
"I had to retrieve the phone from my pocket."
Was it just him or did the archangel sound somewhat uncomfortable? The thought made Dean smile as he realized that it probably wasn't often that Michael didn't know how to do something. God, it turned out, had not thought it necessary to endow his angels with the knowledge of how to operate modern technology. Combined with The Man's lack of foresight when it came to driving skills, he was beginning to seriously question God's supposed and much touted all knowingness. Clearly He had forgotten some key things when creating His angels. Though he supposed if he was going to think about it like that, then those were some of the least of God's mistakes with Lucifer ranking right up there as number one followed by others like Simiel, Uriel and Zachariah to name only a few.
"Have you heard any more from Miniel or Raphael?" Dean questioned.
"No, Little One. I promise to let you know as soon as I know more," Michael replied patiently. "Have you found yourself a nest?"
"You're a ball of laughs, Michael."
"I do not understand this description, it does not make any logical sense."
Dean chuckled. "It's an expression."
"Why do humans so often create and use expressions that do not actually describe what they are meant to convey?"
"I don't know, you're asking the wrong person."
There was a moment of silence that Dean found surprisingly easy and it made him wonder just how used to angelic quirks he'd grown. Humans would never normally allow this much time to pass without speaking, not while on the phone anyway. Not that he cared now that the Vatican was footing the bill. He pouted at the reminder of the conversation where Castiel had told him to stop charging his phone bill to strangers. Between his angel and those priests they were wrecking all of his fun. He'd been damn good at the credit card fraud and cell phone bill evasion even if he did say so himself. Doing things the legal way was just no fun, plus it meant that he'd actually have to clean up this place before he went instead of simply leaving all of the salt and devil's traps he'd put out and up. Not to mention the fact that he planned on painting at least one angel banishment sigil on the wall, just in case he had any unexpected company when none of his angels were around. Perhaps he should leave the cleanup to Castiel what with it being his lover who wanted him to use his own name and Vatican money for renting things and all.
"I dislike not being able to see you when I am speaking with you," Michael finally stated.
The words startled a laugh out of Dean and he could only imagine the archangel's displeased frown but it was more than enough. Was that why all of his archangels had avoided using the phones he'd given them as much as possible? Even Castiel had never been very happy with using it and still wasn't despite all of the practice his lover'd had with it now.
"Yeah, well, there's no helping that just now," Dean answered. "Look, I just called to say that I'm at forty-five Lilac Court about a hundred miles east of where I was before, okay?"
"This is where you'll stay?"
"Yep, it's an apartment that's got everything we need for Cas to be here a while and I'm going to make sure to keep a low profile."
"You will not hunt?"
"I won't look for any hunts but if I happen to hear about something then I'll probably deal with it. I just don't want to draw any attention to myself or do anything that'll mean I have to leave. I'll just buckle down and do research instead."
Dean wondered if Michael could hear the resignation in his voice. It definitely wasn't something he was looking forward to, but it was both necessary and the best thing to do at the present.
"Very well."
/
Dean had gotten through more books than he cared to think about before anything happened, but when it did, it sure happened fast. He'd resigned himself to another day of nothing but research and had just been contemplating going out for dinner that evening when Michael had called to let him know that Raphael had given his approval for Castiel to come back down to Earth to finish recuperating. The news had sent him over the moon even if he'd immediately started worrying about whether everything would be good enough for his lover and if perhaps it wasn't better if Castiel remained in Heaven where he could receive expert, round the clock care. But then he'd tried to reason with that part of himself, telling it that Raphael owed him no favors and wouldn't risk his brother's life just to please him. So it had to be okay for his angel to be here.
It had to be.
He'd done a final sweep of the room, checking and rechecking all of the salt lines and wards before trying to think of anything he might need to run out to the store to get and that had been the point at which Dean realized just how ridiculous he was being. This was Castiel they were talking about here and not just another human. His lover wouldn't need any food or anything so materialistic and even if he did, he doubted Raphael would leave it up to him to get it. Not when Heaven could undoubtedly provide far better versions of it with a mere thought.
Then, suddenly, Raphael and Castiel were there and Dean had found himself frozen to the spot. In his head he'd pictured himself rushing forwards the moment the two archangels appeared, instantly helping his lover and glorying in the feel of him, alive and recovering. Instead he found himself rooted to the spot, completely unable to move or do anything more than stare. Castiel looked good, far better than the last time he'd seen him in fact though that wasn't saying too much in and of itself based on how horribly wounded his angel had been. But Miniel had been right, Castiel's vessel had been completely restored and there wasn't a single thing to indicate that it had ever been otherwise. His lover's wings however were a completely different story.
Just one look was enough to nearly turn Dean's stomach but he managed to fight it down. The left wings weren't too bad and only had the odd patch or two with missing feathers. The skin underneath was red and inflamed, but overall it wasn't too bad. The right wings though were what captured and held his attention and horrified fascination. They were a mess with what looked like still healing lacerations and wounds that were still obviously burn marks. He wondered again if it was a good idea for Castiel to be here on Earth instead of with the Healers in Heaven and though he wanted nothing more than to grab his angel and never let him go again, he knew that he'd let him go if it were in his lover's best interest.
"Dean."
That one word was enough to cut straight through Dean's unexpected paralysis and the next thing he knew he was at his lover's side, his complete attention focused solely on the angel before him. "Cas."
The arm that Castiel didn't have slung across his brother's shoulders reached out for him and Dean stepped closer, letting his lover touch him without reaching or straining himself. It was pure bliss and his own hand came up to press Castiel's more tightly against his face and it was all that he could do not to crush his angel to him. The only thing that held him back was the knowledge that he might hurt his lover if he did so and instead he locked his gaze to that of Castiel and hoped that his eyes conveyed all that he felt as his voice had abandoned him as it was wont to do in times of extreme emotional overload.
"We should get him on the bed," Raphael said an indeterminate amount of time later though it took a few moments for the meaning of the words to penetrate and a few more for Dean to tear his eyes away from his lover.
"Huh?" Dean said.
"Castiel needs to rest in order to continue recuperating."
"Oh! Right."
The words spurred Dean into action and he managed to tear himself away enough so that he turned to face the bed. Since he'd assumed that he'd have a bit more warning of his lover's arrival, he hadn't exactly made the bed that morning so it took little work to pull the sheet and blanket aside so that Raphael could ease Castiel onto the mattress.
"I thought he was doing better," Dean said, not liking how little Castiel moved beyond turning his head so that his lover could continue to stare at him.
"He is," Raphael replied.
"He doesn't look it."
"Castiel has recovered enough to start actively healing himself but it is taking a lot of energy, hence the reason he is conserving it in all other areas."
Damn but if that didn't make Dean feel guilty he didn't know what would. The desire to be selfish and keep his mouth shut rose within him with surprising strength, enough to startle him, but he pushed it down, knowing that he couldn't just let it go.
"Wouldn't... wouldn't it then be better for him to stay in Heaven?" Dean forced out. "I mean if everything is still taxing him so much? Surely being in a vessel can't be helping that any?"
The look Raphael gave him was part startled, part assessing and part something that Dean couldn't quite make out. He might have been able to figure it out if he'd had more time to think about it, but just then Castiel said his name again and all of his attention was instantly diverted.
"I'm here," Dean reassured his lover, dropping to his knees beside the bed to bring himself level with Castiel's head so his angel didn't need to strain to see him. "I'm right here, shh."
Just the simple ability to reach out and touch his lover without the possibility of hurting him was such a relief to Dean that he sagged forwards against the bed while running his fingers through Castiel's soft hair. His angel made a contented sound and reached out to curl the fingers of one hand loosely in his clothing. He completely lost track of what Raphael was doing until the archangel settled himself on the bed beside Castiel and his lover's face twisted in an anticipatory grimace as if knowing what was coming and that it would hurt. His lover was proven right when Raphael's hands reached out and gently pulled one of the injured wings towards himself and started doing something to it.
The way Castiel's fingers spasmed tighter around his clothing and the small, pained noises his lover made nearly had Dean leaping onto the bed to tackle Raphael away from his angel. Only the knowledge that the archangel was actually helping stilled the impulse. He managed to just soothe Castiel for a few moments before the situation got the better of him. He was not used to being the idle one when someone he loved was hurt and being taken care of. It was one of the reasons why he'd taken to the first aid training his father had given him so well despite the fact that it didn't involve killing anything supernatural, as he couldn't stand to be unable to do anything to help.
"Can I help?" Dean asked.
Raphael paused in his ministrations and turned to give him another assessing look. The impulse to say something smartass rose within him as it always did in these circumstances as he absolutely hated to be judged, but Dean shoved it down ruthlessly. Even he knew that this was neither the time nor the place for that and he desperately wanted the archangel to see how serious he was about this as right now being able to help Castiel meant more to him than anything else. Hell he'd beg if that was what it took to be of use to his lover.
Finally Raphael nodded once before indicating the bed right in front of him. "Come here and I will show you what to do."
Dean all but scrambled to his feet though he took the time to wait until Castiel had released his grip on his shirt so as not to jar his angel. Carefully he climbed onto the bed beside the two archangels where he thought he'd have a good view of what Raphael did.
"I said over here," Raphael stated, indicating a spot just before him.
"I can see from here," Dean replied with a slight frown.
He knew that angels lacked almost all concept of personal space, but it had never really been an issue with Raphael before as the archangel had always seemed more inclined to avoid any contact with him rather than anything else. So therefore he was a littl-
Dean yelped as Raphael reached out and literally picked him up like he was nothing more than a rag doll or a small child and plopped him down on the bed right in front of him. Then, before he could so much as utter a protest, the archangel was leaning forward and he was surrounded, a chest pressed up against his back, arms over his own arms and hands covering his so that Raphael could control every move he made.
"Dude, what the hell?" Dean finally squawked in protest, voice far higher than he liked to acknowledge.
"Hush and pay attention," Raphael stated simply.
The command was so much like that which one might give to a small child that Dean bristled instinctively but the archangel, if he noticed, paid it no heed, guiding his fingers down to the base of Castiel's wings where some of his oil glands were.
"First you coat your fingers liberally with oil," Raphael instructed, squeezing his fingers so they milked the gland. "If you are not sure how much to use it is better to take too much rather than too little. Then you choose one of the injuries to start with."
Either Castiel could sense his nervousness or his lover simply wanted him to start with one of the less serious wounds, but Castiel unfurled one of his left wings and angled it back towards them so Dean could reach one of the stray injuries there. At the same time his angel reached back with a hand and rested it on his thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. And that was just totally wrong but so Castiel to always be worried about him even when it was his lover who was the one that was injured.
"Now you coat it with oil and then rub it in," Raphael continued before making a disapproving sound and pressing down more firmly on his fingers. "No, you need to press harder."
"Won't that hurt him?" Dean resisted but was no match for the archangel's superior strength.
"He is not human and it would cause more damage if the wound was not properly oiled than you could by exerting too much strength."
Oh, right, angel. Dean swallowed once and steeled himself before pressing down harder, though he kept a careful ear out for any increase in the sounds of pain or discomfort from his lover. It wasn't until he was doing it, fingers running gently but firmly over his lover's wings and something calmed within him that he realized what else had motivated his request to help: jealousy. Castiel was his lover and he knew how strongly angels felt about their wings and so to see another reaching out and touching what was his had bothered him on a deep emotional level even though logically he knew Raphael was only doing his job and helping Castiel.
And damnit, but if he smelled like Raphael after this then he was going to whip the archangel's sorry ass.
A.N.: OMG, I can't believe that the next chapter is 100! And I originally though the fic would be 20-25 chapters long, lol.
Chapter 100