Unexpected Destinies Chapter 145
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,670
Summary: Castiel and Dean go to talk with Amelia and Claire Novak.
PAST
"This is not a nice neighborhood," Castiel observed as he watched two men with tainted souls enter a house across the street.
"It's not all that bad," Dean replied, toying with his cell phone.
His bond mate had said that it was so that Dean didn't appear to just be talking to thin air, but Castiel had yet to observe anyone paying his hunter enough attention to notice. At his bond mate's request, he had cloaked himself from human eyes as Dean thought it would be better if Amelia didn't see him right away upon returning home. He'd been pleasantly surprised to learn that his bond mate could still see him even after he'd cloaked himself. It meant that he could now wrap half his wings around Dean as they sat on the top step and waited for Amelia and Claire in the rapidly fading light.
"It is not the same as their old neighborhood," Castiel stated.
"Yeah, well, I bet Jimmy was the main breadwinner, so that's not too surprising," Dean replied.
"Jimmy was a sales provider for AM radio, he did not 'win' bread."
His bond mate laughed. "It's a figure of speech, Cas. It means that he was the one earning the most money, or all of it if Amelia didn't work. Either way it meant that Amelia and Claire were left with less financially after he said yes to you."
"Oh."
Castiel didn't like this new information at all. It was something that he'd never even considered before and now he felt even worse about the disruption he'd caused the Novak family. Was this something which he should have known about and taken care of as part of his promise to look after Jimmy's family? He wasn't sure how if it was as he had no means of earning money and the only other way that he'd seen people obtain it was through fraudulent means as Dean and Sam had done for most of their life. It had been necessary then though he had been incredibly grateful when the Vatican had provided his mate with an alternative means of income.
"Hey," Dean said, bumping their shoulders together and looking at him with a frown. "Look, Cas, while I'm really happy that you're giving all of this some serious thought, you have to remember that, in the end, Jimmy made his own choice. He agreed to this."
"He didn't know what he was signing up for," Castiel replied bitterly.
"Oh? So you're saying that you lied to him?"
"Not intentionally."
Dean snorted. "Not at all more like."
"How would you know? You weren't there, Dean."
"No, but I know you, Cas. Both now and what you were like back then."
"I told him that it was what Heaven needed and that he'd be serving Father's Will."
"Yeah, which is exactly what you've done."
"I got Jimmy killed standing up to an archangel."
"An archangel who was perverting prophecy for his own ends, Cas. You got resurrected, remember? That clearly means that your Old Man agreed with what you were doing regardless of what else He's done. Or not done as the case may be. Point is that you were the only one doing what was right and therefore everything you told Jimmy and promised him about why you needed him and what you'd do was all truthful."
"He would not have known that at the time of his death."
"No, perhaps not. Maybe he did curse you then, but Cas, I'm sure that he's learned the truth since then if you've made all of the changes to Heaven that you say you have. He said yes because he believed in God and Heaven and you of all angels validated that faith by doing what you did and you couldn't have done any of it without him. Or well, you could have, but he'd have done anything to keep Claire from having to do it."
Those last words struck Castiel like he supposed bullets did a human's flesh. Though he knew that his bond mate hadn't intended them to wound, that was exactly what they did as he could recall the sheer desperation and terror in Jimmy's eyes and soul only all too well as his first vessel begged him to leave his daughter and take him once more. It was a set of emotions that he'd utterly failed to comprehend at the time, but not anymore. He didn't think that he'd ever be able to forget his own experience being able to do nothing but stand back and allow Dean to give himself over to Michael that first time.
"Yes, as we got ample proof when I was required to briefly take Claire," Castiel finally replied.
"Damnit, Cas! What I'm trying to say is that Jimmy chose this after you told him what you needed of him. You didn't force him, didn't lie to him and damn well didn't let him down even if things didn't go quite the way that either of you thought that they would."
"How can you say that I didn't let him down? Jimmy is dead, his wife and daughter alone, never to see him again in this life."
"Because I can guarantee that Jimmy would infinitely prefer this to the alternative. Just imagine if both he and Claire had said no, if you'd not been able to find yourself a vessel. What would have happened then? It would have been Uriel who'd have come to me, wouldn't it?"
"That is most likely what would have occurred."
"Great, now just think about how well that would have gone down."
Castiel grimaced at the mere thought. Dean and Uriel had already been extremely volatile with each other and they'd hardly interacted as it was. He could only imagine what it would have been like if they'd been required to work together more closely. Parts of it he could picture clearly; his bond mate digging in his heels and refusing to budge, Uriel's Grace swelling with cold Heavenly fury, the resulting clash of personalities, both too stubborn to give an inch and each just goading on the other to remain unflinchingly firm in their resolve. Suffice it to say that things would not have ended well. He feared to even think about what his brother would have done in his anger to try and 'convince' the mud monkey to cooperate. His wings tightened involuntarily around Dean at the mere thought.
"Things would surely have ended a hell of a lot worse than they have if you hadn't been there, Cas," Dean stated confidently. "In saying yes to you, Jimmy helped allow everything that happened to, well, happen."
"That... that does not make me feel any better," Castiel admitted after a pause.
Dean laughed without any real humor. "Yeah, tell me about it. It's still the truth, though, and you need to try and stop beating yourself up over it."
The sheer irony of hearing his bond mate saying those words to him startled a laugh out of Castiel before he gave Dean a significant look, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm trying okay?" Dean shot back.
"I know, I have seen it."
And it was true. Castiel had seen his hunter slowly trying to change how he viewed himself. He didn't think that Dean would ever be able to see truly how special he was, but he'd quite happily settle for his bond mate not automatically putting himself down or believing that he deserved every bad thing that happened to him. He could live with that, secure in the knowledge that there would be those around who'd gladly indulge and spoil Dean whenever his human didn't do it for himself. As it was, he knew from Michael that Raphael was trying to decide if he owed Dean a late birthday present for having not given one at the time. He figured that by the time his brother worked it out, it would probably be close enough to Christmas for his bond mate to think it was an early Christmas gift. Still, he would like to see what Raphael considered a fitting gift for his new bond brother.
That thought made Castiel smile as he wondered what he himself would have chosen once. He had no doubt whatever he'd have selected would have been wildly inappropriate and a part of him was almost glad that he hadn't figured out that particular human custom back then. His eyes dropped to Dean's wrist and the bracelet his bond mate only ever removed if a hunt promised to be messy in a way that could damage it and he felt some pride at his choice. Though he had overheard a man trying to insult his hunter by drawing attention to the, apparently, feminine jewelry, he knew for certain that Dean treasured the gift greatly.
"Show time," Dean muttered, snapping his cell phone shut and rising to his feet.
All it took was a glance up for Castiel to see that his bond mate was right. A car was pulling up into the drive with Amelia at the wheel and Claire sitting beside her. From the conflicted expression on Amelia's face, Castiel knew that she'd already caught sight of Dean and he was suddenly really glad that his hunter had told him to cloak himself. It gave him the opportunity now to concentrate on both Amelia and Claire without needing to worry about what emotions his own face might be expressing. It also allowed him some time to regroup himself, though he sincerely doubted that it would be nearly enough. He didn't think that all of the time in the universe would be enough to prepare him for this and he knew now why he'd been able to put this off for so long. Indeed, if it hadn't been so clear that his bond mate needed a break, then he was sure that he'd have put it off even now. But the fact was that Dean had needed a distraction and as it had already been a week since the confrontation in the desert with Sam, Bobby and the Campbells, his hunter was slowly working himself up about needing to find something with all of their research.
"Dean Winchester," Amelia said as she got out of the car, voice strangely flat.
"Amelia, Claire," Dean greeted. "Can I please speak with you?"
For a moment Castiel thought that Amelia would refuse Dean's request, would order them to go and never come back, but then she paused and looked around before sharing a look with Claire. "Sure, come on inside."
"Thanks."
Okay, this wasn't starting out too badly, Castiel mused. Dean had said that getting in the door might be one of the hardest things to accomplish as there'd been a good chance that Amelia would have been far too furious to speak to them. Well, his bond mate hadn't used the word furious, but he'd known what Dean had meant nonetheless. It bemused him that his hunter seemed to want to shield him from the repercussions of his own actions here. He would have thought that after everything which had happened before with Dean, Michael and Zachariah, that his bond mate would be far less sympathetic to his plight in this case.
A feeling of comfort, warmth and a promise of companionship washed over Castiel and he turned to smile at Dean, sending back a wave of gratitude before he braced himself and followed his bond mate inside. Dean closed the door behind him so he wouldn't have to fly inside, but the action wasn't missed by Amelia who eyed the space where he stood.
"What's going on?" Amelia demanded.
"I'm not here alone," Dean admitted. "I came because Castiel would like to speak with you."
"Castiel?"
His name was uttered in reflex, shock and disbelief coloring it in a not entirely pleasant way and his wings gave an aborted snap even as he tried to control his reaction to it.
"Yes," Dean confirmed.
"Mom," Claire said, speaking for the first time. "Please."
Amelia looked from Dean towards the space where she'd correctly deduced that he stood and then to her daughter. The two of them shared a long look and though part of Castiel wanted to reach out and interpret it, he refrained from doing so. He'd already caused this family enough harm and he refused to intrude on their privacy now as well no matter how much he wanted to know precisely what they were thinking right now. Instead he coiled his Grace tightly himself and his bond with Dean, knowing his mate would help steady him. He was not disappointed.
"Okay, yes."
The strain in Amelia's voice was obvious and Castiel took care not to more than uncloak himself, letting her and Claire make the next move on their own time. A sob broke free from Amelia and her eyes watered as she brought a hand up to her mouth. Her pain was clear and he wished desperately to be able to soothe it but instead he flapped his wings once, twice, before bringing those closest to Dean to rest up against his bond mate in an effort to help ground himself.
"Oh G-" Amelia began, a tear running down her face. "Ji- Is-"
"Daddy?" Claire questioned, stepping forwards. "Is he- Can we talk to him, Castiel? Please?"
And there it was, the one question that Castiel had been dreading ever since his first visit to Amelia and Claire after Jimmy's death. It was the reason that he'd stayed away from them as long as he had. He glanced quickly to Dean, the sympathy and support flowing in over their bond doing more for him than he could possibly say. The knowledge that his hunter was more than willing to step in and take care of this was, somehow, all he needed to push on with it himself. It shouldn't have to be his bond mate's burden to bear.
"I'm sorry, Claire, Amelia, but Jimmy is dead."
"No!"
Amelia's sharp cry of denial struck him like a physical blow and Castiel took half a step back as the pain both she and Claire felt reached him despite how heavily shielded he currently was. The shock and sudden grief appeared to be too much for Amelia and she staggered backwards and might have fallen if Dean hadn't reacted instantly, reaching out to catch her.
"No!" Amelia cried out once more, twisting and lashing out at Dean.
The sight of someone striking his bond mate caused an instant surge of protectiveness within him, but Castiel stilled the impulse, clearly able to tell from the way that Dean only pulled her closer to cry against him that there was little real force behind the blows.
"Is... is he in Heaven now?" Claire asked, voice cracking.
"Yes," Castiel replied immediately, turning to focus on her. "He is at peace now, I promise you."
Claire nodded once, tears welling in her eyes, though she kept his gaze. "How did he die?"
"It happened the day Lucifer first rose," Dean said, voice soft but firm. "Cas-tiel was helping us to try and prevent it and both him and Jimmy were killed in the process."
"Both of them?" Amelia questioned, pulling back slightly. "Castiel is still alive."
"By the will of my Father," Castiel explained.
"God brought you back and not Jimmy?"
It was a question that had often bothered Castiel and for which he had no real answer but one. "Much has happened since then, most of it unpleasant and nothing you would wish for Jimmy to have experienced. By not bringing him back, Father ensured that Jimmy did not have to suffer thus."
"How did it happen?"
"Amelia," Dean interrupted, voice heavy with meaning as he looked to Claire.
"Claire, honey, give me a moment with Castiel."
"But, Mom!"
"Now, Claire."
The expression that crossed Claire's face was different from any that he'd ever seen on Sam or Dean's faces, but the sentiment behind it was not and Castiel wondered if she'd be as stubborn as the Winchesters.
"Come, Claire, I'll go with you," Dean offered.
That seemed make Claire waver and she looked between the two of them. There was a flicker of something that Castiel couldn't quite identify though the way her soul reacted to Dean's proximity was not altogether unfamiliar to him and he couldn't help but wonder if she or any other human ever realized just how drawn they were to his bond mate's bright and righteous soul. Based on all of his experiences he sincerely doubted it and figured that they probably wrote it off as charisma, charm or pure physical attraction.
"How did it happen?" Amelia demanded the moment that the two were in the next room.
"Are you sure that you wish to know?" Castiel asked gently.
"Yes."
"It was an archangel. Jimmy and I were smited. It- is an extremely messy way to go."
As Castiel had expected, Amelia paled alarmingly at this but he checked the impulse to step closer to comfort her. He was sure that it was probably the last thing that she wanted of him right now and he disliked how useless he was in the face of her pain. She closed her eyes momentarily before opening them and turning to look into the other room where Claire and Dean were.
"You're different," Amelia finally stated bluntly when she turned to look at him again. "Less cold, more... human."
"Yes, I am."
"How? What happened?"
"Dean."
"Dean?"
Castiel nodded, glancing briefly towards his mate before refocusing on Amelia Novak. "He is a very special person, his soul unique amongst all humans that I or any of my brothers and sisters have ever encountered before. He has fought with everything that he has, refusing to accept anything other than what is right and just. He has taught me much about humanity and what it was that Father saw in you and deemed so precious and deserving of salvation."
That had clearly startled Amelia and he could only hope it was in a good way.
"He did all of that?" Amelia asked, pointing back at Dean. "I was sure he didn't even believe in God after the last time I met him."
"Yes," Castiel smiled. "One of the most important lessons that I have learned from Dean is that things are not always what they appear to be. Not even among angelic ranks."
"I see."
"I know that it may not be enough, but I would like to apologize for my behavior the last time we met. I was rude to you and treated you without the proper respect and consideration that both you and Claire deserved."
"You helped save our lives."
"That is not sufficient to excuse the way I acted."
There was a brief pause during which Amelia studied him. "You really have changed, haven't you?"
"Yes."
"And Dean Winchester did all of that?"
"He is the most stubborn and determined being that I have ever met."
"Obviously."
"I have seen him stand up to archangels and all but spit in their faces. Though he would deny it, he has done more to unite Heaven in this war and oppose Lucifer than anyone else."
"And somehow he still found the time to teach you to be more human?"
"Yes," Castiel confirmed and hesitated briefly. "He is a vessel as well."
"What? Whose?"
"Michael's."
Amelia's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. "Michael's? As in the archangel Michael?"
"Yes."
"But, then why isn't he Michael right now?"
"He has been and will undoubtedly be so again, but for now he is needed as himself while we seek to find a way to deal with Lucifer."
"Deal with him? Can't you just kill him?"
"Not without a battle that would kill millions of innocents and destroy half the planet. Archangels are extremely fierce and powerful beings, Michael and Lucifer most of all. Though Michael would probably win, you would not like the consequences of that particular battle."
"Oh."
Castiel wasn't sure if he should say anything else as Amelia stepped aside, moving towards the window. He doubted that she was actually seeing anything outside as he had observed Dean doing the same thing when he needed to think. Not wanting to intrude, he glanced into the next room at where Dean and Claire were sitting on a sofa. With his angelic hearing, he was able to listen as Dean told her about being Michael's vessel, using it to relate to her own experience as his vessel, however briefly it had been. Of course his bond mate would have helped any child that he could, but he was still incredibly grateful to Dean for taking the time to help her deal with what had happened.
"It was because of him, wasn't it?" Amelia demanded.
"Excuse me?" Castiel replied, turning back to her to find her watching him.
"It was because of Dean being a vessel that you came to realize what it was like for us and Jimmy."
"Yes. Before that I had no real concept of the sacrifices involved, either for Jimmy or those close to him."
"And it's helped this war against Lucifer? The fact that Jimmy said yes?"
"Without a doubt."
"Then make it worth even more. Make Lucifer pay for making Jimmy's sacrifice necessary in the first place."
It was on the tip of Castiel's tongue to say that it wasn't solely Lucifer's fault, that others had been responsible as well, but he caught himself at the last minute. Dean had said that it wouldn't be helpful and would only serve to shatter what little faith Amelia had left and he didn't want that to happen. Michael and Raphael were repentant and would do all that they could to ensure that Lucifer was stopped so there was no need to make Amelia and Claire suffer any more for his brothers' mistakes.
"I will, I promise."
Chapter 146
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,670
Summary: Castiel and Dean go to talk with Amelia and Claire Novak.
PAST
"This is not a nice neighborhood," Castiel observed as he watched two men with tainted souls enter a house across the street.
"It's not all that bad," Dean replied, toying with his cell phone.
His bond mate had said that it was so that Dean didn't appear to just be talking to thin air, but Castiel had yet to observe anyone paying his hunter enough attention to notice. At his bond mate's request, he had cloaked himself from human eyes as Dean thought it would be better if Amelia didn't see him right away upon returning home. He'd been pleasantly surprised to learn that his bond mate could still see him even after he'd cloaked himself. It meant that he could now wrap half his wings around Dean as they sat on the top step and waited for Amelia and Claire in the rapidly fading light.
"It is not the same as their old neighborhood," Castiel stated.
"Yeah, well, I bet Jimmy was the main breadwinner, so that's not too surprising," Dean replied.
"Jimmy was a sales provider for AM radio, he did not 'win' bread."
His bond mate laughed. "It's a figure of speech, Cas. It means that he was the one earning the most money, or all of it if Amelia didn't work. Either way it meant that Amelia and Claire were left with less financially after he said yes to you."
"Oh."
Castiel didn't like this new information at all. It was something that he'd never even considered before and now he felt even worse about the disruption he'd caused the Novak family. Was this something which he should have known about and taken care of as part of his promise to look after Jimmy's family? He wasn't sure how if it was as he had no means of earning money and the only other way that he'd seen people obtain it was through fraudulent means as Dean and Sam had done for most of their life. It had been necessary then though he had been incredibly grateful when the Vatican had provided his mate with an alternative means of income.
"Hey," Dean said, bumping their shoulders together and looking at him with a frown. "Look, Cas, while I'm really happy that you're giving all of this some serious thought, you have to remember that, in the end, Jimmy made his own choice. He agreed to this."
"He didn't know what he was signing up for," Castiel replied bitterly.
"Oh? So you're saying that you lied to him?"
"Not intentionally."
Dean snorted. "Not at all more like."
"How would you know? You weren't there, Dean."
"No, but I know you, Cas. Both now and what you were like back then."
"I told him that it was what Heaven needed and that he'd be serving Father's Will."
"Yeah, which is exactly what you've done."
"I got Jimmy killed standing up to an archangel."
"An archangel who was perverting prophecy for his own ends, Cas. You got resurrected, remember? That clearly means that your Old Man agreed with what you were doing regardless of what else He's done. Or not done as the case may be. Point is that you were the only one doing what was right and therefore everything you told Jimmy and promised him about why you needed him and what you'd do was all truthful."
"He would not have known that at the time of his death."
"No, perhaps not. Maybe he did curse you then, but Cas, I'm sure that he's learned the truth since then if you've made all of the changes to Heaven that you say you have. He said yes because he believed in God and Heaven and you of all angels validated that faith by doing what you did and you couldn't have done any of it without him. Or well, you could have, but he'd have done anything to keep Claire from having to do it."
Those last words struck Castiel like he supposed bullets did a human's flesh. Though he knew that his bond mate hadn't intended them to wound, that was exactly what they did as he could recall the sheer desperation and terror in Jimmy's eyes and soul only all too well as his first vessel begged him to leave his daughter and take him once more. It was a set of emotions that he'd utterly failed to comprehend at the time, but not anymore. He didn't think that he'd ever be able to forget his own experience being able to do nothing but stand back and allow Dean to give himself over to Michael that first time.
"Yes, as we got ample proof when I was required to briefly take Claire," Castiel finally replied.
"Damnit, Cas! What I'm trying to say is that Jimmy chose this after you told him what you needed of him. You didn't force him, didn't lie to him and damn well didn't let him down even if things didn't go quite the way that either of you thought that they would."
"How can you say that I didn't let him down? Jimmy is dead, his wife and daughter alone, never to see him again in this life."
"Because I can guarantee that Jimmy would infinitely prefer this to the alternative. Just imagine if both he and Claire had said no, if you'd not been able to find yourself a vessel. What would have happened then? It would have been Uriel who'd have come to me, wouldn't it?"
"That is most likely what would have occurred."
"Great, now just think about how well that would have gone down."
Castiel grimaced at the mere thought. Dean and Uriel had already been extremely volatile with each other and they'd hardly interacted as it was. He could only imagine what it would have been like if they'd been required to work together more closely. Parts of it he could picture clearly; his bond mate digging in his heels and refusing to budge, Uriel's Grace swelling with cold Heavenly fury, the resulting clash of personalities, both too stubborn to give an inch and each just goading on the other to remain unflinchingly firm in their resolve. Suffice it to say that things would not have ended well. He feared to even think about what his brother would have done in his anger to try and 'convince' the mud monkey to cooperate. His wings tightened involuntarily around Dean at the mere thought.
"Things would surely have ended a hell of a lot worse than they have if you hadn't been there, Cas," Dean stated confidently. "In saying yes to you, Jimmy helped allow everything that happened to, well, happen."
"That... that does not make me feel any better," Castiel admitted after a pause.
Dean laughed without any real humor. "Yeah, tell me about it. It's still the truth, though, and you need to try and stop beating yourself up over it."
The sheer irony of hearing his bond mate saying those words to him startled a laugh out of Castiel before he gave Dean a significant look, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm trying okay?" Dean shot back.
"I know, I have seen it."
And it was true. Castiel had seen his hunter slowly trying to change how he viewed himself. He didn't think that Dean would ever be able to see truly how special he was, but he'd quite happily settle for his bond mate not automatically putting himself down or believing that he deserved every bad thing that happened to him. He could live with that, secure in the knowledge that there would be those around who'd gladly indulge and spoil Dean whenever his human didn't do it for himself. As it was, he knew from Michael that Raphael was trying to decide if he owed Dean a late birthday present for having not given one at the time. He figured that by the time his brother worked it out, it would probably be close enough to Christmas for his bond mate to think it was an early Christmas gift. Still, he would like to see what Raphael considered a fitting gift for his new bond brother.
That thought made Castiel smile as he wondered what he himself would have chosen once. He had no doubt whatever he'd have selected would have been wildly inappropriate and a part of him was almost glad that he hadn't figured out that particular human custom back then. His eyes dropped to Dean's wrist and the bracelet his bond mate only ever removed if a hunt promised to be messy in a way that could damage it and he felt some pride at his choice. Though he had overheard a man trying to insult his hunter by drawing attention to the, apparently, feminine jewelry, he knew for certain that Dean treasured the gift greatly.
"Show time," Dean muttered, snapping his cell phone shut and rising to his feet.
All it took was a glance up for Castiel to see that his bond mate was right. A car was pulling up into the drive with Amelia at the wheel and Claire sitting beside her. From the conflicted expression on Amelia's face, Castiel knew that she'd already caught sight of Dean and he was suddenly really glad that his hunter had told him to cloak himself. It gave him the opportunity now to concentrate on both Amelia and Claire without needing to worry about what emotions his own face might be expressing. It also allowed him some time to regroup himself, though he sincerely doubted that it would be nearly enough. He didn't think that all of the time in the universe would be enough to prepare him for this and he knew now why he'd been able to put this off for so long. Indeed, if it hadn't been so clear that his bond mate needed a break, then he was sure that he'd have put it off even now. But the fact was that Dean had needed a distraction and as it had already been a week since the confrontation in the desert with Sam, Bobby and the Campbells, his hunter was slowly working himself up about needing to find something with all of their research.
"Dean Winchester," Amelia said as she got out of the car, voice strangely flat.
"Amelia, Claire," Dean greeted. "Can I please speak with you?"
For a moment Castiel thought that Amelia would refuse Dean's request, would order them to go and never come back, but then she paused and looked around before sharing a look with Claire. "Sure, come on inside."
"Thanks."
Okay, this wasn't starting out too badly, Castiel mused. Dean had said that getting in the door might be one of the hardest things to accomplish as there'd been a good chance that Amelia would have been far too furious to speak to them. Well, his bond mate hadn't used the word furious, but he'd known what Dean had meant nonetheless. It bemused him that his hunter seemed to want to shield him from the repercussions of his own actions here. He would have thought that after everything which had happened before with Dean, Michael and Zachariah, that his bond mate would be far less sympathetic to his plight in this case.
A feeling of comfort, warmth and a promise of companionship washed over Castiel and he turned to smile at Dean, sending back a wave of gratitude before he braced himself and followed his bond mate inside. Dean closed the door behind him so he wouldn't have to fly inside, but the action wasn't missed by Amelia who eyed the space where he stood.
"What's going on?" Amelia demanded.
"I'm not here alone," Dean admitted. "I came because Castiel would like to speak with you."
"Castiel?"
His name was uttered in reflex, shock and disbelief coloring it in a not entirely pleasant way and his wings gave an aborted snap even as he tried to control his reaction to it.
"Yes," Dean confirmed.
"Mom," Claire said, speaking for the first time. "Please."
Amelia looked from Dean towards the space where she'd correctly deduced that he stood and then to her daughter. The two of them shared a long look and though part of Castiel wanted to reach out and interpret it, he refrained from doing so. He'd already caused this family enough harm and he refused to intrude on their privacy now as well no matter how much he wanted to know precisely what they were thinking right now. Instead he coiled his Grace tightly himself and his bond with Dean, knowing his mate would help steady him. He was not disappointed.
"Okay, yes."
The strain in Amelia's voice was obvious and Castiel took care not to more than uncloak himself, letting her and Claire make the next move on their own time. A sob broke free from Amelia and her eyes watered as she brought a hand up to her mouth. Her pain was clear and he wished desperately to be able to soothe it but instead he flapped his wings once, twice, before bringing those closest to Dean to rest up against his bond mate in an effort to help ground himself.
"Oh G-" Amelia began, a tear running down her face. "Ji- Is-"
"Daddy?" Claire questioned, stepping forwards. "Is he- Can we talk to him, Castiel? Please?"
And there it was, the one question that Castiel had been dreading ever since his first visit to Amelia and Claire after Jimmy's death. It was the reason that he'd stayed away from them as long as he had. He glanced quickly to Dean, the sympathy and support flowing in over their bond doing more for him than he could possibly say. The knowledge that his hunter was more than willing to step in and take care of this was, somehow, all he needed to push on with it himself. It shouldn't have to be his bond mate's burden to bear.
"I'm sorry, Claire, Amelia, but Jimmy is dead."
"No!"
Amelia's sharp cry of denial struck him like a physical blow and Castiel took half a step back as the pain both she and Claire felt reached him despite how heavily shielded he currently was. The shock and sudden grief appeared to be too much for Amelia and she staggered backwards and might have fallen if Dean hadn't reacted instantly, reaching out to catch her.
"No!" Amelia cried out once more, twisting and lashing out at Dean.
The sight of someone striking his bond mate caused an instant surge of protectiveness within him, but Castiel stilled the impulse, clearly able to tell from the way that Dean only pulled her closer to cry against him that there was little real force behind the blows.
"Is... is he in Heaven now?" Claire asked, voice cracking.
"Yes," Castiel replied immediately, turning to focus on her. "He is at peace now, I promise you."
Claire nodded once, tears welling in her eyes, though she kept his gaze. "How did he die?"
"It happened the day Lucifer first rose," Dean said, voice soft but firm. "Cas-tiel was helping us to try and prevent it and both him and Jimmy were killed in the process."
"Both of them?" Amelia questioned, pulling back slightly. "Castiel is still alive."
"By the will of my Father," Castiel explained.
"God brought you back and not Jimmy?"
It was a question that had often bothered Castiel and for which he had no real answer but one. "Much has happened since then, most of it unpleasant and nothing you would wish for Jimmy to have experienced. By not bringing him back, Father ensured that Jimmy did not have to suffer thus."
"How did it happen?"
"Amelia," Dean interrupted, voice heavy with meaning as he looked to Claire.
"Claire, honey, give me a moment with Castiel."
"But, Mom!"
"Now, Claire."
The expression that crossed Claire's face was different from any that he'd ever seen on Sam or Dean's faces, but the sentiment behind it was not and Castiel wondered if she'd be as stubborn as the Winchesters.
"Come, Claire, I'll go with you," Dean offered.
That seemed make Claire waver and she looked between the two of them. There was a flicker of something that Castiel couldn't quite identify though the way her soul reacted to Dean's proximity was not altogether unfamiliar to him and he couldn't help but wonder if she or any other human ever realized just how drawn they were to his bond mate's bright and righteous soul. Based on all of his experiences he sincerely doubted it and figured that they probably wrote it off as charisma, charm or pure physical attraction.
"How did it happen?" Amelia demanded the moment that the two were in the next room.
"Are you sure that you wish to know?" Castiel asked gently.
"Yes."
"It was an archangel. Jimmy and I were smited. It- is an extremely messy way to go."
As Castiel had expected, Amelia paled alarmingly at this but he checked the impulse to step closer to comfort her. He was sure that it was probably the last thing that she wanted of him right now and he disliked how useless he was in the face of her pain. She closed her eyes momentarily before opening them and turning to look into the other room where Claire and Dean were.
"You're different," Amelia finally stated bluntly when she turned to look at him again. "Less cold, more... human."
"Yes, I am."
"How? What happened?"
"Dean."
"Dean?"
Castiel nodded, glancing briefly towards his mate before refocusing on Amelia Novak. "He is a very special person, his soul unique amongst all humans that I or any of my brothers and sisters have ever encountered before. He has fought with everything that he has, refusing to accept anything other than what is right and just. He has taught me much about humanity and what it was that Father saw in you and deemed so precious and deserving of salvation."
That had clearly startled Amelia and he could only hope it was in a good way.
"He did all of that?" Amelia asked, pointing back at Dean. "I was sure he didn't even believe in God after the last time I met him."
"Yes," Castiel smiled. "One of the most important lessons that I have learned from Dean is that things are not always what they appear to be. Not even among angelic ranks."
"I see."
"I know that it may not be enough, but I would like to apologize for my behavior the last time we met. I was rude to you and treated you without the proper respect and consideration that both you and Claire deserved."
"You helped save our lives."
"That is not sufficient to excuse the way I acted."
There was a brief pause during which Amelia studied him. "You really have changed, haven't you?"
"Yes."
"And Dean Winchester did all of that?"
"He is the most stubborn and determined being that I have ever met."
"Obviously."
"I have seen him stand up to archangels and all but spit in their faces. Though he would deny it, he has done more to unite Heaven in this war and oppose Lucifer than anyone else."
"And somehow he still found the time to teach you to be more human?"
"Yes," Castiel confirmed and hesitated briefly. "He is a vessel as well."
"What? Whose?"
"Michael's."
Amelia's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. "Michael's? As in the archangel Michael?"
"Yes."
"But, then why isn't he Michael right now?"
"He has been and will undoubtedly be so again, but for now he is needed as himself while we seek to find a way to deal with Lucifer."
"Deal with him? Can't you just kill him?"
"Not without a battle that would kill millions of innocents and destroy half the planet. Archangels are extremely fierce and powerful beings, Michael and Lucifer most of all. Though Michael would probably win, you would not like the consequences of that particular battle."
"Oh."
Castiel wasn't sure if he should say anything else as Amelia stepped aside, moving towards the window. He doubted that she was actually seeing anything outside as he had observed Dean doing the same thing when he needed to think. Not wanting to intrude, he glanced into the next room at where Dean and Claire were sitting on a sofa. With his angelic hearing, he was able to listen as Dean told her about being Michael's vessel, using it to relate to her own experience as his vessel, however briefly it had been. Of course his bond mate would have helped any child that he could, but he was still incredibly grateful to Dean for taking the time to help her deal with what had happened.
"It was because of him, wasn't it?" Amelia demanded.
"Excuse me?" Castiel replied, turning back to her to find her watching him.
"It was because of Dean being a vessel that you came to realize what it was like for us and Jimmy."
"Yes. Before that I had no real concept of the sacrifices involved, either for Jimmy or those close to him."
"And it's helped this war against Lucifer? The fact that Jimmy said yes?"
"Without a doubt."
"Then make it worth even more. Make Lucifer pay for making Jimmy's sacrifice necessary in the first place."
It was on the tip of Castiel's tongue to say that it wasn't solely Lucifer's fault, that others had been responsible as well, but he caught himself at the last minute. Dean had said that it wouldn't be helpful and would only serve to shatter what little faith Amelia had left and he didn't want that to happen. Michael and Raphael were repentant and would do all that they could to ensure that Lucifer was stopped so there was no need to make Amelia and Claire suffer any more for his brothers' mistakes.
"I will, I promise."
Chapter 146