Unexpected Destinies Chapter 182
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,281
Summary: Sam finds himself whisked away by his brother on an outing, the purpose of which he doesn't know.
PRESENT
At Stanford, Sam had discovered that an early morning run of his own choosing had always left him feeling invigorated and ready to face the day and whatever it brought with it. At the time he'd willfully ignored the fact that his father had always tried to get him running in the mornings and that he'd resisted, claiming that he needed his sleep in order to be properly rested for school. Now he could admit that he'd done so simply because he'd been ordered to do it and he'd always resisted his father's orders on principle alone since he was about eight or nine. Well that and Dad had always couched it in hunting terms, saying that it was good for his stamina and general fitness which would make him a better hunter. Therefore he'd resisted it all the more as he hadn't wanted to be a hunter.
Now, though, Sam knew better than to think that he could just will things to be the way that he wanted them to be. Well that and he'd been forced to confront the fact that his resistance hadn't been some noble act of defiance against an overbearing and tyrannical authority figure, but rather the temper tantrums of a spoiled brat who couldn't get his own way. It had been a hard pill to swallow, especially as he'd been so sure that he'd been right, but he'd finally gotten to the point where he could admit the truth. Sure, his father could have handled things better- all of them could have really- but that was no excuse for the way that he'd behaved.
Some of his good mood was already fading by the time that Sam got out of the shower, but that was all but inevitable these days. Not only had there been a sudden, sharp increase in disasters and other, supernatural, occurrences the past few days- most likely indicating that Lucifer was getting warmed up once more- but his new found self-awareness was also never far from his thoughts. It made for a depressing time but he'd finally clued in to his pattern of handling things in the past and he was determined to break that particular vicious cycle.
He'd never really thought about it before, but Sam now realized that while he'd always felt guilty after he'd done something wrong before, he'd never actually learned the most important lesson from each of those experiences. Namely to listen to other people when they voiced concerns about what he was doing, his brother in particular. He could now see how he'd mostly just brushed those right off, so sure that he knew what he was doing and, more importantly, that he was right. The sheer arrogance of it all made him want to curl up and disappear and he wasn't sure how the others could still stand to be around him, especially since it seemed that he just didn't learn. Yeah, sure, Dean had clocked him for it more than once, but it was the least of what he deserved, especially from his big brother. Just how often had Dean been proven right and yet he'd kept right on ignoring him?
When he'd finally dared to examine why that was, Sam had been horrified at the overwhelming sense of superiority that he felt towards his brother. That a large part of it was due to Lucifer's influence, he had absolutely no doubt, after all what was one mud monkey to the devil no matter how stubborn or annoying? But now he also knew better than to blame it all on having shared head space with the Morning Star. On at least some level, he'd felt that superiority on his own. It had taken a while to suss out as there was also still a part of him that would always look up to his big brother in awe, but he'd finally managed to do it.
It came down to intelligence. He'd always put a lot of stock into thinking that intelligence was the most important aspect of a person and somewhere along the line, Sam now realized, he'd come to equate intelligence with formal education or schooling. And that right there had been how his superiority complex had gotten started because he had always loved school while Dean had not. Not only had his big brother not liked it, but Dean had outright shunned it, going so far as to drop out as soon as he was able to without raising any suspicion. In his snobby youth, he'd seen that as practically the ultimate failing. It wasn't until years later when he'd first met Jess that he'd ever even heard of how the schooling system failed many nontraditional students, the standardized system simply being unable to cope with those who learned differently.
At the time Sam hadn't equated that with what had happened to his brother and, indeed, he still wasn't sure if Dean fell into that particular category. Regardless, he could now see that his brother's decision and general academic performance hadn't had anything to do with Dean's level of intelligence, but rather about how his big brother had viewed school and the amount of time and effort that Dean had put into it. Not very much, but not because his brother was incapable of doing so, but rather because Dean'd had other priorities and something had needed to give and his brother had chosen his formal education to be that thing.
It put an entirely different spin on a lot of events that Sam remembered and thought that he'd understood at the time. And, speaking of the devil (metaphorically at least!), he had hardly even finished dressing when the door to his room burst open and his brother charged into the room.
"You're ready, good," Dean stated looking at him. "Come on, we're going."
"Going? Where?" Sam asked, startled and completely confused.
Had a hunt come up?
"Out."
So, not a hunt then.
With just that, his brother turned around and left, walking off down the hall towards the stairs. Mystified, Sam grabbed a hoodie and followed after Dean. His brother was acting odd even for Dean, but he saw no reason not to go along with it. Hell, at this moment he was embarrassed to think of all the things that he'd go along with or agree to if it meant being able to spend time with his big brother. Sure, Dean hadn't exactly been shunning him as of late, but they'd definitely not been spending the time together that they once had. Not to mention the fact that there had always been others present lately. He wasn't sure why, but today felt different, as if it might just be the two of them.
The thought caused a flutter of butterflies in Sam's stomach as well as a sense of dread. He ruthlessly tried to suppress the latter as he descended the stairs two at a time. Sure, there was always a possibility that he wouldn't like what his brother had to say, but Dean had seemed nervous himself, which wasn't something his brother had been before with their confrontations. No, then Dean had just been angry, so this nervousness was actually a good sign. Or at least that was how he was choosing to take it right now as Dean had shown the jittery nerves of coiled anticipation and not the painful tension that preceded a fight.
At the bottom of the stairs, Sam grabbed his coat and gloves not wishing to risk it with the rapidly plummeting temperatures. Besides, who knew what Dean had planned? It was hard to tell when his brother got into one of these moods. Sometimes just driving the Impala would be enough to soothe his brother but sometimes something a little more physical was required and he didn't want to be caught off-guard should Dean decide to pull over somewhere and continue the rest of the way on foot. Once ready, he glanced out the window only to see Dean and Castiel standing together beside the Impala, heads down.
The sight made Sam pause a moment, trying to see a difference with how the two had been before. It was hard to tell if there was a difference there now or if he was just imaging it. Castiel had always stood close so that was the same, but had his brother always leaned back towards the angel or was that new? The touching was definitely new, at least on Castiel's part anyway. While Dean would definitely lay a hand on someone from time to time, his friend most certainly had not. He could clearly recall wondering in the past if the angel even knew what to do with his hands as Castiel had all too often just let them dangle uselessly by his sides. Not so anymore, or at least not when Castiel was near Dean anyway.
Sam suddenly couldn't help but wonder what his friend's wings were doing just now. He'd never given the angel's wings much thought after the initial shock of not being able to see them. Once the whole vessel thing had been explained to him, he'd just kinda written the whole thing off and not thought about it again until he'd found out about the fact that his brother could see them. He was ashamed to say that one of the first thoughts to have crossed his mind back then had been a jealous one of why Dean and not him as he'd felt entitled to this special ability. Now he realized that the very thought itself had been one of the reasons why he himself hadn't been gifted that special talent.
Now that the idea of wings had been put into his head, though, Sam couldn't help but wonder about Castiel's. Watching his brother groom them had given him some kind of idea what those invisible wings might look like and he'd carefully listened to any and all words spoken about them. Still, he wished that he could see his friend's wings, if only just once, maybe as shadows as his big brother had once seen them the first time that Dean had met Castiel. He'd desperately wished to ask the angel to be granted that privilege, but he'd yet to build up the courage in order to do so.
When Castiel and Dean seemed to pause, Sam opened the door and stepped outside to join them. His brother looked up at him, eyes expressionless for a moment, before Dean said something too soft to the angel for him to hear. With a nod, Castiel flew off, vanishing from his sight.
"Let's go," Dean said, getting into the Impala.
Bemused, Sam made his way around to the other side of the car. He was completely unable to figure out what was going on. The fact that he was so in the dark about his big brother's behavior made him very sad. Just how far apart had they grown from each other? He wasn't sure that he wanted to know as it was becoming rapidly clear that he wouldn't like the answer to that question. Nor about whose fault it was.
With that grim thought, Sam got into the Impala, swallowing thickly. His earlier optimism about what this was all about was suddenly gone. Was he just deluding himself once more? He was almost too afraid to ask Dean and find out that he was. He wasn't sure how much more of all this that he could take. Yeah, he knew that so far he'd been the one at fault, but there was only so much that one could take before they shattered.
The notes of Zeppelin's Communication Breakdown, however, took the decision out of Sam's hands. The music was too loud to comfortably talk over but not so loud as to be painful. Clearly Dean was not yet ready to talk, which while not surprising on the surface, did make him pause. His brother had been the one to instigate this outing, so why was Dean avoiding him now? There was nothing to do but wait and hope that he could outlast Dean, not generally a given, but in this case he was optimistic.
It was while Sam was watching his brother that he noticed the way Dean reached out with his right hand to touch the fingers of his left hand before seeming to realize what he was doing and jerking his hand back to the steering wheel. It was an odd gesture and it made him frown as he tried to figure it out. There was no injury or anything else unusual about his brother's left hand to explain the action which, naturally, made him all the more curious about it. The thought of what his innate curiosity had led to as of late made him jerk his head away to look out of the window.
Just as they were passing the edge of the town, Dean pulled the Impala into the parking lot of a local diner. "Hungry?" his brother demanded.
"I could eat something," Sam replied with a small frown, running always did give him an appetite even if it wasn't quite noon yet.
"I'll be right back."
With that his brother was up and out of the car. Astonished, Sam watched Dean jog across the parking lot to the diner door. What the hell was going on here? It had been quite a while since he'd seen his brother so jittery and nervous and it was starting to affect him as well. If he had some clue as to what this was all about then he'd be able to steer things in the right direction, but he didn't so he was left to essentially flounder in dark as Dean worked up the courage to bring up whatever it was that was bothering his brother's peace of mind.
Not wanting to rock the boat, Sam resisted the temptation to use the opportunity to turn off the Zeppelin tape for something better. Instead he shifted into a more comfortable position and leaned his head against the window, letting his thoughts wander. When his brother came back carrying two bags, he wasn't surprised to smell bacon, cheese and hamburger along with fries. He felt a twinge of resentment, but quickly forced it down, not wanting to start a stupid argument. Instead he took the bags and drinks from Dean when his brother handed them to him.
"We're eating in the car?" Sam asked, surprised.
"And let you get Caesar dressing all over the upholstery?" Dean replied, throwing him an affronted look. "No, of course not."
Caesar dressing? Carefully, Sam sniffed the two bags and was delighted to find that the bacon, cheese and hamburger smell came from only one of them. The smell of fries came from both, but that was almost a comfort as it was precisely the kind of stunt that his brother would have pulled before, just as some mothers would add fruit or vegetables to any meal. Only with Dean it had always been something greasy or artery clogging, but he couldn't wipe the foolish grin from his face even when his brother sent him a look that clearly said that Dean thought he was insane.
"So," Sam began, buoyed by the small act of kindness from his brother. "Dare I ask about the angel ornament?"
The little angel dangling from the Impala's rearview mirror had caught Sam's eye shortly after his brother's initial arrival at the Campbell family compound, but he'd never dared ask about it. At least not until now.
Dean shrugged, but Sam saw his brother's eyes dart towards the little figurine and lift in a smile. "It was a spur of the moment thing. Somehow I doubted Cas would appreciate me putting one of his sisters at the top of my Christmas tree."
The humor and affection in Dean's tone was clear to Sam and it made him smile, well able to see how Castiel might not have liked that at all. The mention of a Christmas tree made him feel a little sad as he remembered how much he'd resisted doing Christmas the last time his brother had tried to get them to celebrate it.
"Did he like it?" Sam asked.
"Oh yeah!"
The wolfish smile Dean sent his way made Sam blanch. "Dude, TMI!"
"You asked."
"Something I regret already."
With a laugh, his brother pulled the Impala over to the side of the road and Sam swung his head around to see where they were. They'd left the main road somewhere behind them and he didn't immediately recognize where they were. It was an orchard of some kind, though he couldn't immediately tell what the crop was as there was no fruit hanging on the branches.
"Come on," Dean said, grabbing one of the bags from him. "Let's eat."
Sam closed his eyes and forced himself to be patient. Getting upset or demanding to know what this was all about would do nothing but put his brother on the defensive, which was the absolute last thing that he wanted right now. It was just...
What was it anyway?
It took Sam a few moments to figure it out as he unfolded himself from the Impala and moved to follow Dean to where his brother had clambered up onto the fence encircling the orchard. The unusually broad planks used in the fence meant that they could quite comfortably straddle the fence and eat while using the planks to hold their food. Opening his bag, he found the promised Caesar salad and, surprisingly, a fruit salad as well as the expected fries. Looking up, he was even more stunned to find that Dean had gotten himself a fruit salad as well. He'd noticed, of course, that Castiel had been getting his brother more healthy options, but he hadn't realized that Dean was doing this as well on his own now.
Anyway, getting back to the issue at hand, Sam realized that he was on edge. This whole thing was like waiting for the proverbial second shoe to drop. All of his big confrontations with Dean had not gone well recently and that meant that he couldn't quite bring himself to relax now no matter how well things were going. It almost annoyed him even more because it meant that he was unable to enjoy this time with his big brother. Which just figured, he'd been dying to spend more quality time with Dean and now that he finally was getting it, he just wanted to push the fast forward button and get to the point.
The realization made Sam bite his lower lip and stab his salad viciously.
"What did the poor lettuce ever do to you?" Dean questioned, laughing.
"Nothing."
His brother snorted. "You sure you're not having hamburger envy?"
Sam shot his brother a dark look, which quickly morphed to one of disgust when Dean took a big bite and made noise of delight while giving him a view of partially mauled burger. "Dude, gross!"
Not unexpectedly, his brother ignored him and Sam just watched as Dean grabbed two fries, dipped them into the ketchup before cramming them into his mouth as well. The disgust was already fading rapidly, the fondness he felt for his brother rising up to take its place. It had been a long time since he'd seen Dean this relaxed and playful, at least around him. To see that now was fantastic and made the more disgusting details far more trivial and easier to ignore.
Now, if only Sam could figure out what his brother wanted to talk about.
A.N.: Okay so I really struggled with this chapter. Not because I didn't know where I was going or anything like that, but because I made the mistake of watching 8.10 before writing it and then had a hard time writing Sam as anything other than a complete bastard. I didn't make the same mistake this week.
Chapter 183
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash
Word Count: 3,281
Summary: Sam finds himself whisked away by his brother on an outing, the purpose of which he doesn't know.
PRESENT
At Stanford, Sam had discovered that an early morning run of his own choosing had always left him feeling invigorated and ready to face the day and whatever it brought with it. At the time he'd willfully ignored the fact that his father had always tried to get him running in the mornings and that he'd resisted, claiming that he needed his sleep in order to be properly rested for school. Now he could admit that he'd done so simply because he'd been ordered to do it and he'd always resisted his father's orders on principle alone since he was about eight or nine. Well that and Dad had always couched it in hunting terms, saying that it was good for his stamina and general fitness which would make him a better hunter. Therefore he'd resisted it all the more as he hadn't wanted to be a hunter.
Now, though, Sam knew better than to think that he could just will things to be the way that he wanted them to be. Well that and he'd been forced to confront the fact that his resistance hadn't been some noble act of defiance against an overbearing and tyrannical authority figure, but rather the temper tantrums of a spoiled brat who couldn't get his own way. It had been a hard pill to swallow, especially as he'd been so sure that he'd been right, but he'd finally gotten to the point where he could admit the truth. Sure, his father could have handled things better- all of them could have really- but that was no excuse for the way that he'd behaved.
Some of his good mood was already fading by the time that Sam got out of the shower, but that was all but inevitable these days. Not only had there been a sudden, sharp increase in disasters and other, supernatural, occurrences the past few days- most likely indicating that Lucifer was getting warmed up once more- but his new found self-awareness was also never far from his thoughts. It made for a depressing time but he'd finally clued in to his pattern of handling things in the past and he was determined to break that particular vicious cycle.
He'd never really thought about it before, but Sam now realized that while he'd always felt guilty after he'd done something wrong before, he'd never actually learned the most important lesson from each of those experiences. Namely to listen to other people when they voiced concerns about what he was doing, his brother in particular. He could now see how he'd mostly just brushed those right off, so sure that he knew what he was doing and, more importantly, that he was right. The sheer arrogance of it all made him want to curl up and disappear and he wasn't sure how the others could still stand to be around him, especially since it seemed that he just didn't learn. Yeah, sure, Dean had clocked him for it more than once, but it was the least of what he deserved, especially from his big brother. Just how often had Dean been proven right and yet he'd kept right on ignoring him?
When he'd finally dared to examine why that was, Sam had been horrified at the overwhelming sense of superiority that he felt towards his brother. That a large part of it was due to Lucifer's influence, he had absolutely no doubt, after all what was one mud monkey to the devil no matter how stubborn or annoying? But now he also knew better than to blame it all on having shared head space with the Morning Star. On at least some level, he'd felt that superiority on his own. It had taken a while to suss out as there was also still a part of him that would always look up to his big brother in awe, but he'd finally managed to do it.
It came down to intelligence. He'd always put a lot of stock into thinking that intelligence was the most important aspect of a person and somewhere along the line, Sam now realized, he'd come to equate intelligence with formal education or schooling. And that right there had been how his superiority complex had gotten started because he had always loved school while Dean had not. Not only had his big brother not liked it, but Dean had outright shunned it, going so far as to drop out as soon as he was able to without raising any suspicion. In his snobby youth, he'd seen that as practically the ultimate failing. It wasn't until years later when he'd first met Jess that he'd ever even heard of how the schooling system failed many nontraditional students, the standardized system simply being unable to cope with those who learned differently.
At the time Sam hadn't equated that with what had happened to his brother and, indeed, he still wasn't sure if Dean fell into that particular category. Regardless, he could now see that his brother's decision and general academic performance hadn't had anything to do with Dean's level of intelligence, but rather about how his big brother had viewed school and the amount of time and effort that Dean had put into it. Not very much, but not because his brother was incapable of doing so, but rather because Dean'd had other priorities and something had needed to give and his brother had chosen his formal education to be that thing.
It put an entirely different spin on a lot of events that Sam remembered and thought that he'd understood at the time. And, speaking of the devil (metaphorically at least!), he had hardly even finished dressing when the door to his room burst open and his brother charged into the room.
"You're ready, good," Dean stated looking at him. "Come on, we're going."
"Going? Where?" Sam asked, startled and completely confused.
Had a hunt come up?
"Out."
So, not a hunt then.
With just that, his brother turned around and left, walking off down the hall towards the stairs. Mystified, Sam grabbed a hoodie and followed after Dean. His brother was acting odd even for Dean, but he saw no reason not to go along with it. Hell, at this moment he was embarrassed to think of all the things that he'd go along with or agree to if it meant being able to spend time with his big brother. Sure, Dean hadn't exactly been shunning him as of late, but they'd definitely not been spending the time together that they once had. Not to mention the fact that there had always been others present lately. He wasn't sure why, but today felt different, as if it might just be the two of them.
The thought caused a flutter of butterflies in Sam's stomach as well as a sense of dread. He ruthlessly tried to suppress the latter as he descended the stairs two at a time. Sure, there was always a possibility that he wouldn't like what his brother had to say, but Dean had seemed nervous himself, which wasn't something his brother had been before with their confrontations. No, then Dean had just been angry, so this nervousness was actually a good sign. Or at least that was how he was choosing to take it right now as Dean had shown the jittery nerves of coiled anticipation and not the painful tension that preceded a fight.
At the bottom of the stairs, Sam grabbed his coat and gloves not wishing to risk it with the rapidly plummeting temperatures. Besides, who knew what Dean had planned? It was hard to tell when his brother got into one of these moods. Sometimes just driving the Impala would be enough to soothe his brother but sometimes something a little more physical was required and he didn't want to be caught off-guard should Dean decide to pull over somewhere and continue the rest of the way on foot. Once ready, he glanced out the window only to see Dean and Castiel standing together beside the Impala, heads down.
The sight made Sam pause a moment, trying to see a difference with how the two had been before. It was hard to tell if there was a difference there now or if he was just imaging it. Castiel had always stood close so that was the same, but had his brother always leaned back towards the angel or was that new? The touching was definitely new, at least on Castiel's part anyway. While Dean would definitely lay a hand on someone from time to time, his friend most certainly had not. He could clearly recall wondering in the past if the angel even knew what to do with his hands as Castiel had all too often just let them dangle uselessly by his sides. Not so anymore, or at least not when Castiel was near Dean anyway.
Sam suddenly couldn't help but wonder what his friend's wings were doing just now. He'd never given the angel's wings much thought after the initial shock of not being able to see them. Once the whole vessel thing had been explained to him, he'd just kinda written the whole thing off and not thought about it again until he'd found out about the fact that his brother could see them. He was ashamed to say that one of the first thoughts to have crossed his mind back then had been a jealous one of why Dean and not him as he'd felt entitled to this special ability. Now he realized that the very thought itself had been one of the reasons why he himself hadn't been gifted that special talent.
Now that the idea of wings had been put into his head, though, Sam couldn't help but wonder about Castiel's. Watching his brother groom them had given him some kind of idea what those invisible wings might look like and he'd carefully listened to any and all words spoken about them. Still, he wished that he could see his friend's wings, if only just once, maybe as shadows as his big brother had once seen them the first time that Dean had met Castiel. He'd desperately wished to ask the angel to be granted that privilege, but he'd yet to build up the courage in order to do so.
When Castiel and Dean seemed to pause, Sam opened the door and stepped outside to join them. His brother looked up at him, eyes expressionless for a moment, before Dean said something too soft to the angel for him to hear. With a nod, Castiel flew off, vanishing from his sight.
"Let's go," Dean said, getting into the Impala.
Bemused, Sam made his way around to the other side of the car. He was completely unable to figure out what was going on. The fact that he was so in the dark about his big brother's behavior made him very sad. Just how far apart had they grown from each other? He wasn't sure that he wanted to know as it was becoming rapidly clear that he wouldn't like the answer to that question. Nor about whose fault it was.
With that grim thought, Sam got into the Impala, swallowing thickly. His earlier optimism about what this was all about was suddenly gone. Was he just deluding himself once more? He was almost too afraid to ask Dean and find out that he was. He wasn't sure how much more of all this that he could take. Yeah, he knew that so far he'd been the one at fault, but there was only so much that one could take before they shattered.
The notes of Zeppelin's Communication Breakdown, however, took the decision out of Sam's hands. The music was too loud to comfortably talk over but not so loud as to be painful. Clearly Dean was not yet ready to talk, which while not surprising on the surface, did make him pause. His brother had been the one to instigate this outing, so why was Dean avoiding him now? There was nothing to do but wait and hope that he could outlast Dean, not generally a given, but in this case he was optimistic.
It was while Sam was watching his brother that he noticed the way Dean reached out with his right hand to touch the fingers of his left hand before seeming to realize what he was doing and jerking his hand back to the steering wheel. It was an odd gesture and it made him frown as he tried to figure it out. There was no injury or anything else unusual about his brother's left hand to explain the action which, naturally, made him all the more curious about it. The thought of what his innate curiosity had led to as of late made him jerk his head away to look out of the window.
Just as they were passing the edge of the town, Dean pulled the Impala into the parking lot of a local diner. "Hungry?" his brother demanded.
"I could eat something," Sam replied with a small frown, running always did give him an appetite even if it wasn't quite noon yet.
"I'll be right back."
With that his brother was up and out of the car. Astonished, Sam watched Dean jog across the parking lot to the diner door. What the hell was going on here? It had been quite a while since he'd seen his brother so jittery and nervous and it was starting to affect him as well. If he had some clue as to what this was all about then he'd be able to steer things in the right direction, but he didn't so he was left to essentially flounder in dark as Dean worked up the courage to bring up whatever it was that was bothering his brother's peace of mind.
Not wanting to rock the boat, Sam resisted the temptation to use the opportunity to turn off the Zeppelin tape for something better. Instead he shifted into a more comfortable position and leaned his head against the window, letting his thoughts wander. When his brother came back carrying two bags, he wasn't surprised to smell bacon, cheese and hamburger along with fries. He felt a twinge of resentment, but quickly forced it down, not wanting to start a stupid argument. Instead he took the bags and drinks from Dean when his brother handed them to him.
"We're eating in the car?" Sam asked, surprised.
"And let you get Caesar dressing all over the upholstery?" Dean replied, throwing him an affronted look. "No, of course not."
Caesar dressing? Carefully, Sam sniffed the two bags and was delighted to find that the bacon, cheese and hamburger smell came from only one of them. The smell of fries came from both, but that was almost a comfort as it was precisely the kind of stunt that his brother would have pulled before, just as some mothers would add fruit or vegetables to any meal. Only with Dean it had always been something greasy or artery clogging, but he couldn't wipe the foolish grin from his face even when his brother sent him a look that clearly said that Dean thought he was insane.
"So," Sam began, buoyed by the small act of kindness from his brother. "Dare I ask about the angel ornament?"
The little angel dangling from the Impala's rearview mirror had caught Sam's eye shortly after his brother's initial arrival at the Campbell family compound, but he'd never dared ask about it. At least not until now.
Dean shrugged, but Sam saw his brother's eyes dart towards the little figurine and lift in a smile. "It was a spur of the moment thing. Somehow I doubted Cas would appreciate me putting one of his sisters at the top of my Christmas tree."
The humor and affection in Dean's tone was clear to Sam and it made him smile, well able to see how Castiel might not have liked that at all. The mention of a Christmas tree made him feel a little sad as he remembered how much he'd resisted doing Christmas the last time his brother had tried to get them to celebrate it.
"Did he like it?" Sam asked.
"Oh yeah!"
The wolfish smile Dean sent his way made Sam blanch. "Dude, TMI!"
"You asked."
"Something I regret already."
With a laugh, his brother pulled the Impala over to the side of the road and Sam swung his head around to see where they were. They'd left the main road somewhere behind them and he didn't immediately recognize where they were. It was an orchard of some kind, though he couldn't immediately tell what the crop was as there was no fruit hanging on the branches.
"Come on," Dean said, grabbing one of the bags from him. "Let's eat."
Sam closed his eyes and forced himself to be patient. Getting upset or demanding to know what this was all about would do nothing but put his brother on the defensive, which was the absolute last thing that he wanted right now. It was just...
What was it anyway?
It took Sam a few moments to figure it out as he unfolded himself from the Impala and moved to follow Dean to where his brother had clambered up onto the fence encircling the orchard. The unusually broad planks used in the fence meant that they could quite comfortably straddle the fence and eat while using the planks to hold their food. Opening his bag, he found the promised Caesar salad and, surprisingly, a fruit salad as well as the expected fries. Looking up, he was even more stunned to find that Dean had gotten himself a fruit salad as well. He'd noticed, of course, that Castiel had been getting his brother more healthy options, but he hadn't realized that Dean was doing this as well on his own now.
Anyway, getting back to the issue at hand, Sam realized that he was on edge. This whole thing was like waiting for the proverbial second shoe to drop. All of his big confrontations with Dean had not gone well recently and that meant that he couldn't quite bring himself to relax now no matter how well things were going. It almost annoyed him even more because it meant that he was unable to enjoy this time with his big brother. Which just figured, he'd been dying to spend more quality time with Dean and now that he finally was getting it, he just wanted to push the fast forward button and get to the point.
The realization made Sam bite his lower lip and stab his salad viciously.
"What did the poor lettuce ever do to you?" Dean questioned, laughing.
"Nothing."
His brother snorted. "You sure you're not having hamburger envy?"
Sam shot his brother a dark look, which quickly morphed to one of disgust when Dean took a big bite and made noise of delight while giving him a view of partially mauled burger. "Dude, gross!"
Not unexpectedly, his brother ignored him and Sam just watched as Dean grabbed two fries, dipped them into the ketchup before cramming them into his mouth as well. The disgust was already fading rapidly, the fondness he felt for his brother rising up to take its place. It had been a long time since he'd seen Dean this relaxed and playful, at least around him. To see that now was fantastic and made the more disgusting details far more trivial and easier to ignore.
Now, if only Sam could figure out what his brother wanted to talk about.
A.N.: Okay so I really struggled with this chapter. Not because I didn't know where I was going or anything like that, but because I made the mistake of watching 8.10 before writing it and then had a hard time writing Sam as anything other than a complete bastard. I didn't make the same mistake this week.
Chapter 183