Unexpected Destinies Chapter 18
Title: Unexpected Destinies
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash, mild het
Word Count: 3,271
Summary: Desperate for a distraction so he won't break his resolution, Dean tries to pick up a girl. It's working fine until Castiel suddenly shows up.
PAST
"You got a place nearby?" the chick whose name Dean couldn't even remember asked, her hand trailing slowly, oh so slowly, down his chest.
"Just across the road," Dean replied, nipping at her ear as he inhaled her scent, rich with musk and perfume.
Right now it seemed almost inconceivable to him how much trouble he'd had earlier, when he first came into the place, in finding someone that interested him. Dean should have known that all he'd needed to get himself revved up was close contact with someone who was attractive. He'd spent years hooking up with beautiful strangers in a desperate bid to fill the emptiness inside of himself and to be touched. There had never been anything deeper present with any of them, so why he felt the need for it now, he wasn't sure. He'd managed to move on after Cassie, he'd be able to move on past this... this thing with Castiel as well.
"Good, 'cause I so hate waiting."
Dean laughed. "Someone after my own heart. We're gonna have fun tonight."
He let his hand reach up to cup a breast, kneading it softly as he leaned close for a hungry kiss. The chick- Alice? Alison? Alana?- moaned against him, clutching his bicep with her free hand. Dean knew that he really should get this show moving before they got into trouble for groping in public, but a part of him was hesitant to do so. Yes, the motel was just across the street, but he'd texted the location to Castiel the other day when he'd arrived, hardly even stopping to think about it since it had become so normal for him to do so. Given the angel's ever increasing penchant for dropping by unannounced, he was suddenly afraid of what might happen if he took the girl back there with him.
The urge to just shrug off the thought and tell Castiel it was his own fault for zapping in like that was so weak as to almost be nonexistent. Dean nearly paused in his ministrations at the realization. Crap, now what? He really did want to get laid, it had been far too long and he needed something to take his mind off of both Castiel and the situation with Sam.
It was almost as if his thoughts had summoned the angel, because the next thing Dean knew, Castiel was there, right at his shoulder and standing far too close as normal.
"Dean."
The girl- Alison, Dean was sure of it now- shrieked and jumped in surprise. The sudden movement caused her to slip from her precarious position in Dean's lap and her leg hit him in a rather delicate location and he drew in a sharp breath at the pain, hands tightening on her in reflex.
"Shit, I'm sorry!"
Before Dean could say anything, Castiel was reaching out, grabbing Alison's arm and dragging her off of him. Alison shrieked again at the rough treatment.
"The fuck are you doing? Let go of me!"
"You were hurting him," Castiel stated, not releasing her until she was standing on the other side of him from Dean.
"Yeah, because you startled me."
"Cas, leave her alone," Dean said, recovering enough to be annoyed. "What's up anyway? Is something wrong?"
"No. I merely wished to see you."
The sharp intake of breath from Alison made Dean look at her and he realized that he'd had his eyes locked on Castiel's once more. His heart sank at the emotions that crossed her face and he knew this was it. Whatever she'd been prepared to do with him even just moments before was completely gone now.
"Alison-"
"It's Alice, asshole, and you can go fuck yourself!"
With those words, Alice turned around and stormed off, vanishing into the crowd of the games hall. Dean watched her go, trying to shove aside the mixed emotions that rose within him as he really didn't want to have to deal with them right now. The whole point of coming over here to this stupid new finagled hot spot was to find someone to fuck so he could forget about everything else. He'd promised Castiel he wouldn't drink himself into oblivion anymore and he honestly didn't want to, but he needed something and his libido was working overtime from the angel's frequent presence so this had seemed like a good idea. Work off some of the stress and hopefully having sex would cool his libido enough for him to start thinking more clearly. Then he could start the laborious process of moving beyond all of this.
Or at least that had been his reasoning at the time. Now, sitting within touching distance of Castiel, Dean knew it wouldn't be that easy, no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise.
"Dean, I-"
"Ack!" Dean snapped out raising a finger in warning. "Not one word, not one word, you got me?"
Dean only glanced at Castiel long enough to confirm that he'd gotten the message before he looked away, painfully getting to his feet. Then, figuring that the angel would either follow him or fly off, he pushed his way past people towards the exit, ignoring the cries of protest at his careless disregard for anyone who was in his way. He couldn't believe it, he really couldn't. He'd been so close to scoring, so close, and Castiel had to show up now of all times? Surely the angel had learned enough about human behavior to recognize what was going on and to know better than to interrupt, but he'd done so anyway. The question was why.
Somehow, Dean managed to wait until they'd made it back to his motel room and the door was closed before he whirled around to face the angel. The fact that he knew this would be an awkward and intense conversation had helped him do so, but it was still a close thing. He wasn't generally known for his ability to hold back when it came to things like this, he usually just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"What the hell was that, Cas?" Dean finally demanded.
"I... I don't know."
"What do you mean, you don't know? Dude, I was about to score! Do you know how long its been since I had sex?"
The words seemed to hit Castiel like fists and the angel flinched, much to Dean's astonishment.
"I know, I just... I was going to go away, to leave you with her, but then... it just seemed wrong, she seemed wrong and I couldn't just leave her with you. I had to get you away from her. From her touch and... I don't know why, I'm sorry."
Oh, shit, the angel was jealous. The realization stunned Dean speechless for a few long moments. He'd never had anyone be jealous of him in that way before. Sure, he'd been envied, he'd seen it when he'd managed to get the girl that half the guys at the bar had their eye on or when he made away big at pool or poker, but this was completely different. This was someone who was jealous because his own attention had been elsewhere. Because he'd been focused on someone other than Castiel. A sense of wonder filled him at the thought that his angel could like him that much to want the focus he'd given the chick directed at himself.
At the same time, the feeling worried him. Dean had decided to keep his own feelings for the angel hidden because Castiel seemed to have little or no interest in sex and he was pretty sure that he didn't understand or realize what he was feeling, but this, this jealousy, it changed everything. If Cas was going to start acting on his feelings like this, then things had to change. Dean didn't want to make things all that much more complicated for his friend, not now when they had the Apocalypse looming, but he couldn't leave things as they were either. If the angel didn't understand the feelings, then they were more likely to crop up at inopportune times and he couldn't risk Castiel getting jealous of anyone he interacted with.
Or of reacting the way he had now every time Dean needed to talk with someone. Damnit, so much for his decision not to make things more difficult for Castiel by opening this can of worms. He'd already seen the angel struggle with other, lesser human emotions and had wanted to spare him these. Chances were it was just going to go wrong anyway and that type of heartbreak was not something an angel deserved, especially not one like Cas who had already sacrificed so much and been hurt so often for doing the right thing. But it didn't look like he had much choice in the matter anymore.
The thing was, Dean really wasn't sure how to start this conversation. How did you tell an angel that you thought he might like you more than he should? More than as a friend and that what he was experiencing now was jealousy? He doubted that even Sam or a normal person would know how to start that particular talk and he was damned if he knew how. Above and beyond his dislike of chick flick moments, he hated awkward conversations with their stilted dialogue and lengthy pauses. He'd rather face another set of crazed werewolves on the new moon than begin this particular talk.
"It's alright, Cas," Dean finally said in lieu of anything else. "It's my fault, I knew you were feeling things you, ah, didn't understand and I didn't say anything."
Castiel's eyes grew large as he tilted his head to study him. "You know what I've been feeling? What this new emotion means?"
"Yeah, I should have said something and- I'm sorry, okay, but I just couldn't."
"You are uncomfortable."
Dean snorted. Trust the angel to come right out and state the obvious. It was still refreshing, though, especially now, after all the lies he'd been dealing with for the past two years. It felt good, really good, to know that he could trust Castiel to be brutally honest with him on all things instead of lying or keeping things from him and going behind his back. He tried to stamp out the anger and bitterness that rose within him as he thought of all that Sammy had done. Now was not the time to deal with that, now he was busy with his friend.
"Ya think? Look, Cas, this is not something I usually talk about."
"I don't wish to make you do something you do not want to."
The sentiment warmed Dean, but he knew that he really had to address this now, before things got any worse. But he just didn't know what to say, he so really wasn't a word person. He-
Dean stopped himself short as he realized that he really didn't have to use words. They'd never been his strong suit and he had always been far more tactile than anything else and the past few weeks had shown him that Castiel didn't mind his touch in the least. If he was going to out the angel to himself, he might as well do it in a way that made an impact.
Decision made, Dean stepped up close, more than invading Castiel's personal space. He watched his friend's eyes widen slightly but saw absolutely no wariness or unease in them and so continued without pause. He used one hand to angle Cas' head and then leaned in and kissed him. He kept it light and chaste, but the effect on him was electrifying. Somehow, despite the relative innocence of it, it was far better than almost any other kiss.
It was also differently from any other kiss that Dean had ever had. He could literally feel the power that hummed just beneath the surface of Castiel's skin; the power of an archangel. It cracked against his skin and lips in little shocks of pleasure, making him moan. And, although both of their mouths were closed, he could definitely taste something on his lips when he pulled away and unconsciously licked them. It was unlike anything he had ever tasted before and he wondered if it was something of Castiel's true form leaking through onto his vessel. It made him think of lightning and thunder, of the sizzle in the air just before a good storm and the taste of snow stinging the back of his throat before the first flakes even fell.
The look on Castiel's face was caught between shock and disbelief. His eyes still as wide as before though now they were hooded, dark with some emotion that Dean couldn't read.
"Tell me what you're feeling, Cas," Dean requested softly.
"I... I don't know, I've never felt anything like this before."
Well, that was definitely a good sign and Dean treasured it even as he sympathized with Castiel. He knew how confusing and frightening the flood of this type of emotion could be and he'd known what was happening. To experience it without having the first clue as to what was going on...
"Did you like the kiss?"
"Yes, very much so."
As if to prove the point, Castiel leaned forwards, looking for more. It was just a soft brush of lips, an innocent exploration, but Dean felt it right down to his soul and he wanted more. He wanted to shove Cas up against the wall and ravage his mouth, to strip him and touch him everywhere. Yet he didn't want to do anything to spook the angel either, not to mention the fact that he wanted Cas to like this. No, he wanted him to love this as much as he did, to see what an amazing thing this type of intimacy between two people could be. He didn't even pretend to tell himself it would be anything other then that, all he had to do was remember what it had been like to be with Cassie to know that and he knew he cared for Castiel far more than he ever had for her.
With Cassie it had been a short, quick thing. It had flared up between them impossibly fast, he'd only been passing through after all and had never intended to stay there longer then he did for any other hunt. And it had ended just as rapidly with him opening his big fat mouth and telling her things which his father had ordered him never to tell anyone else, but he'd been young, stupid and in love and believed the latter would conquer all. That wasn't the case now, no this had been a very long time in coming, slowly growing between them until they found themselves here, now and he wanted it to last. For the first time, the thought of being with someone for the foreseeable future didn't scare the crap out of him as it always had before.
If that meant taking things slow, Dean found that he was surprisingly okay with that. In fact, a part of him even liked the idea. That he would be the one to introduce Castiel to sex, that he would be the one to show him everything and how wonderful it could be, turned him on so fast it made his head swim. He'd never been very big on deflowering virgins, not since he'd been a teenager fumbling his way through sex as much as the next guy, as sex had always been about having fun for him. About having a good time and virgins inevitably were nervous and afraid of doing the wrong thing. But now, with Cas, something told him that it would be different. It wouldn't be just about chasing an orgasm or two, about a night of pleasure before he was on the road again never to see that person again.
"Do you want to touch me?" Dean asked, pulling back enough to see the angel's face.
Castiel's eyes flared and he knew he'd guessed right.
"Yes, please."
"Then go ahead," Dean encouraged, stealing a few more chaste kisses.
At the tentative touches to his arms, Dean brought his own hands up again, one to the angel's face and the other his back. As he'd hoped, Castiel followed his lead, one hand coming up to cup his face and the other sliding up his arm to rest on his chest, slightly above his heart. When he pulled away this time, it was to nuzzle further into the hand touching his face and he turned his head slightly to kiss the palm, eliciting a sharp intake of breath. Opening his eyes, Dean felt the breath catch in his throat at the look on Castiel's face. It was a mix between awe, amazement and wonder and he opened his mouth to tell him that no, he totally wasn't worth that, but the words refused to come.
Then Castiel stroked his face and his expression changed to confusion, his head tilting sideways in that bird-like way of his and the moment passed. Dean was suddenly able to breath again, though his heart was still racing a mile a minute. It took a few tries, but he was finally able to wet his mouth enough to actually talk.
"What is it?"
His voice was rough, low and wrecked and it seemed to further the angel's confusion.
"Your face, it goes from soft to rough."
That brought a smile to Dean's face. "It's the stubble, guys who shave have it."
"Hmm," Castiel replied and seemed perfectly content to just stand there, touching and watching him.
Dean used the observation to push aside his own desire for more, now.
"It's so different," Castiel continued.
"From what?"
"The skin on your back, it was soft and warm."
The memory of laying in bed beside the angel, almost completely naked with those hands on him caused another bolt of desire to shoot through Dean and his eyes dropped closed as he bit his lip to prevent the moan that rose within him from escaping. By the time he had some measure of control over himself again, Castiel's fingers had started moving on his face in a soft, exploratory touch. He opened his eyes to find himself the center of Castiel's intense focus as those fingers ran over his bottom lip, still caught between his teeth. He released it and shivered as the dry fingers trailed over it, catching slightly on the moisture. Then they trailed upwards, along his cheek to his nose and he closed his eyes once more, allowing Cas to gently trace his eyelids and then underneath, along his eyelashes.
When the touch trailed away from his eyes, Dean opened them once more and instantly found himself captured in the blue gaze. He was aware of Castiel lingering briefly over his freckles before the angel was brushing his cheek again, this time with the back of his fingers and he leaned into it until the desire to kiss Cas again grew too powerful and he did exactly that. Only this time, Dean allowed himself to slip a hand behind Castiel's neck and pull him closer so he could kiss him better, though he managed to keep it closed mouthed for all of that.
The wonderful little noises Castiel was making already were more than enough for him right now. When it was something as important as this, Dean was more than willing to wait and take it slow though he knew it would be damned difficult.
A.N.: Since I now know a little more where this story is going (I only had a vague idea before), I've updated the pairings and warnings on the masterpost.
Chapter 19
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to and including Exile on Main St., AU from the end of season 5
Warnings: AU, slash, mild het
Word Count: 3,271
Summary: Desperate for a distraction so he won't break his resolution, Dean tries to pick up a girl. It's working fine until Castiel suddenly shows up.
PAST
"You got a place nearby?" the chick whose name Dean couldn't even remember asked, her hand trailing slowly, oh so slowly, down his chest.
"Just across the road," Dean replied, nipping at her ear as he inhaled her scent, rich with musk and perfume.
Right now it seemed almost inconceivable to him how much trouble he'd had earlier, when he first came into the place, in finding someone that interested him. Dean should have known that all he'd needed to get himself revved up was close contact with someone who was attractive. He'd spent years hooking up with beautiful strangers in a desperate bid to fill the emptiness inside of himself and to be touched. There had never been anything deeper present with any of them, so why he felt the need for it now, he wasn't sure. He'd managed to move on after Cassie, he'd be able to move on past this... this thing with Castiel as well.
"Good, 'cause I so hate waiting."
Dean laughed. "Someone after my own heart. We're gonna have fun tonight."
He let his hand reach up to cup a breast, kneading it softly as he leaned close for a hungry kiss. The chick- Alice? Alison? Alana?- moaned against him, clutching his bicep with her free hand. Dean knew that he really should get this show moving before they got into trouble for groping in public, but a part of him was hesitant to do so. Yes, the motel was just across the street, but he'd texted the location to Castiel the other day when he'd arrived, hardly even stopping to think about it since it had become so normal for him to do so. Given the angel's ever increasing penchant for dropping by unannounced, he was suddenly afraid of what might happen if he took the girl back there with him.
The urge to just shrug off the thought and tell Castiel it was his own fault for zapping in like that was so weak as to almost be nonexistent. Dean nearly paused in his ministrations at the realization. Crap, now what? He really did want to get laid, it had been far too long and he needed something to take his mind off of both Castiel and the situation with Sam.
It was almost as if his thoughts had summoned the angel, because the next thing Dean knew, Castiel was there, right at his shoulder and standing far too close as normal.
"Dean."
The girl- Alison, Dean was sure of it now- shrieked and jumped in surprise. The sudden movement caused her to slip from her precarious position in Dean's lap and her leg hit him in a rather delicate location and he drew in a sharp breath at the pain, hands tightening on her in reflex.
"Shit, I'm sorry!"
Before Dean could say anything, Castiel was reaching out, grabbing Alison's arm and dragging her off of him. Alison shrieked again at the rough treatment.
"The fuck are you doing? Let go of me!"
"You were hurting him," Castiel stated, not releasing her until she was standing on the other side of him from Dean.
"Yeah, because you startled me."
"Cas, leave her alone," Dean said, recovering enough to be annoyed. "What's up anyway? Is something wrong?"
"No. I merely wished to see you."
The sharp intake of breath from Alison made Dean look at her and he realized that he'd had his eyes locked on Castiel's once more. His heart sank at the emotions that crossed her face and he knew this was it. Whatever she'd been prepared to do with him even just moments before was completely gone now.
"Alison-"
"It's Alice, asshole, and you can go fuck yourself!"
With those words, Alice turned around and stormed off, vanishing into the crowd of the games hall. Dean watched her go, trying to shove aside the mixed emotions that rose within him as he really didn't want to have to deal with them right now. The whole point of coming over here to this stupid new finagled hot spot was to find someone to fuck so he could forget about everything else. He'd promised Castiel he wouldn't drink himself into oblivion anymore and he honestly didn't want to, but he needed something and his libido was working overtime from the angel's frequent presence so this had seemed like a good idea. Work off some of the stress and hopefully having sex would cool his libido enough for him to start thinking more clearly. Then he could start the laborious process of moving beyond all of this.
Or at least that had been his reasoning at the time. Now, sitting within touching distance of Castiel, Dean knew it wouldn't be that easy, no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise.
"Dean, I-"
"Ack!" Dean snapped out raising a finger in warning. "Not one word, not one word, you got me?"
Dean only glanced at Castiel long enough to confirm that he'd gotten the message before he looked away, painfully getting to his feet. Then, figuring that the angel would either follow him or fly off, he pushed his way past people towards the exit, ignoring the cries of protest at his careless disregard for anyone who was in his way. He couldn't believe it, he really couldn't. He'd been so close to scoring, so close, and Castiel had to show up now of all times? Surely the angel had learned enough about human behavior to recognize what was going on and to know better than to interrupt, but he'd done so anyway. The question was why.
Somehow, Dean managed to wait until they'd made it back to his motel room and the door was closed before he whirled around to face the angel. The fact that he knew this would be an awkward and intense conversation had helped him do so, but it was still a close thing. He wasn't generally known for his ability to hold back when it came to things like this, he usually just blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"What the hell was that, Cas?" Dean finally demanded.
"I... I don't know."
"What do you mean, you don't know? Dude, I was about to score! Do you know how long its been since I had sex?"
The words seemed to hit Castiel like fists and the angel flinched, much to Dean's astonishment.
"I know, I just... I was going to go away, to leave you with her, but then... it just seemed wrong, she seemed wrong and I couldn't just leave her with you. I had to get you away from her. From her touch and... I don't know why, I'm sorry."
Oh, shit, the angel was jealous. The realization stunned Dean speechless for a few long moments. He'd never had anyone be jealous of him in that way before. Sure, he'd been envied, he'd seen it when he'd managed to get the girl that half the guys at the bar had their eye on or when he made away big at pool or poker, but this was completely different. This was someone who was jealous because his own attention had been elsewhere. Because he'd been focused on someone other than Castiel. A sense of wonder filled him at the thought that his angel could like him that much to want the focus he'd given the chick directed at himself.
At the same time, the feeling worried him. Dean had decided to keep his own feelings for the angel hidden because Castiel seemed to have little or no interest in sex and he was pretty sure that he didn't understand or realize what he was feeling, but this, this jealousy, it changed everything. If Cas was going to start acting on his feelings like this, then things had to change. Dean didn't want to make things all that much more complicated for his friend, not now when they had the Apocalypse looming, but he couldn't leave things as they were either. If the angel didn't understand the feelings, then they were more likely to crop up at inopportune times and he couldn't risk Castiel getting jealous of anyone he interacted with.
Or of reacting the way he had now every time Dean needed to talk with someone. Damnit, so much for his decision not to make things more difficult for Castiel by opening this can of worms. He'd already seen the angel struggle with other, lesser human emotions and had wanted to spare him these. Chances were it was just going to go wrong anyway and that type of heartbreak was not something an angel deserved, especially not one like Cas who had already sacrificed so much and been hurt so often for doing the right thing. But it didn't look like he had much choice in the matter anymore.
The thing was, Dean really wasn't sure how to start this conversation. How did you tell an angel that you thought he might like you more than he should? More than as a friend and that what he was experiencing now was jealousy? He doubted that even Sam or a normal person would know how to start that particular talk and he was damned if he knew how. Above and beyond his dislike of chick flick moments, he hated awkward conversations with their stilted dialogue and lengthy pauses. He'd rather face another set of crazed werewolves on the new moon than begin this particular talk.
"It's alright, Cas," Dean finally said in lieu of anything else. "It's my fault, I knew you were feeling things you, ah, didn't understand and I didn't say anything."
Castiel's eyes grew large as he tilted his head to study him. "You know what I've been feeling? What this new emotion means?"
"Yeah, I should have said something and- I'm sorry, okay, but I just couldn't."
"You are uncomfortable."
Dean snorted. Trust the angel to come right out and state the obvious. It was still refreshing, though, especially now, after all the lies he'd been dealing with for the past two years. It felt good, really good, to know that he could trust Castiel to be brutally honest with him on all things instead of lying or keeping things from him and going behind his back. He tried to stamp out the anger and bitterness that rose within him as he thought of all that Sammy had done. Now was not the time to deal with that, now he was busy with his friend.
"Ya think? Look, Cas, this is not something I usually talk about."
"I don't wish to make you do something you do not want to."
The sentiment warmed Dean, but he knew that he really had to address this now, before things got any worse. But he just didn't know what to say, he so really wasn't a word person. He-
Dean stopped himself short as he realized that he really didn't have to use words. They'd never been his strong suit and he had always been far more tactile than anything else and the past few weeks had shown him that Castiel didn't mind his touch in the least. If he was going to out the angel to himself, he might as well do it in a way that made an impact.
Decision made, Dean stepped up close, more than invading Castiel's personal space. He watched his friend's eyes widen slightly but saw absolutely no wariness or unease in them and so continued without pause. He used one hand to angle Cas' head and then leaned in and kissed him. He kept it light and chaste, but the effect on him was electrifying. Somehow, despite the relative innocence of it, it was far better than almost any other kiss.
It was also differently from any other kiss that Dean had ever had. He could literally feel the power that hummed just beneath the surface of Castiel's skin; the power of an archangel. It cracked against his skin and lips in little shocks of pleasure, making him moan. And, although both of their mouths were closed, he could definitely taste something on his lips when he pulled away and unconsciously licked them. It was unlike anything he had ever tasted before and he wondered if it was something of Castiel's true form leaking through onto his vessel. It made him think of lightning and thunder, of the sizzle in the air just before a good storm and the taste of snow stinging the back of his throat before the first flakes even fell.
The look on Castiel's face was caught between shock and disbelief. His eyes still as wide as before though now they were hooded, dark with some emotion that Dean couldn't read.
"Tell me what you're feeling, Cas," Dean requested softly.
"I... I don't know, I've never felt anything like this before."
Well, that was definitely a good sign and Dean treasured it even as he sympathized with Castiel. He knew how confusing and frightening the flood of this type of emotion could be and he'd known what was happening. To experience it without having the first clue as to what was going on...
"Did you like the kiss?"
"Yes, very much so."
As if to prove the point, Castiel leaned forwards, looking for more. It was just a soft brush of lips, an innocent exploration, but Dean felt it right down to his soul and he wanted more. He wanted to shove Cas up against the wall and ravage his mouth, to strip him and touch him everywhere. Yet he didn't want to do anything to spook the angel either, not to mention the fact that he wanted Cas to like this. No, he wanted him to love this as much as he did, to see what an amazing thing this type of intimacy between two people could be. He didn't even pretend to tell himself it would be anything other then that, all he had to do was remember what it had been like to be with Cassie to know that and he knew he cared for Castiel far more than he ever had for her.
With Cassie it had been a short, quick thing. It had flared up between them impossibly fast, he'd only been passing through after all and had never intended to stay there longer then he did for any other hunt. And it had ended just as rapidly with him opening his big fat mouth and telling her things which his father had ordered him never to tell anyone else, but he'd been young, stupid and in love and believed the latter would conquer all. That wasn't the case now, no this had been a very long time in coming, slowly growing between them until they found themselves here, now and he wanted it to last. For the first time, the thought of being with someone for the foreseeable future didn't scare the crap out of him as it always had before.
If that meant taking things slow, Dean found that he was surprisingly okay with that. In fact, a part of him even liked the idea. That he would be the one to introduce Castiel to sex, that he would be the one to show him everything and how wonderful it could be, turned him on so fast it made his head swim. He'd never been very big on deflowering virgins, not since he'd been a teenager fumbling his way through sex as much as the next guy, as sex had always been about having fun for him. About having a good time and virgins inevitably were nervous and afraid of doing the wrong thing. But now, with Cas, something told him that it would be different. It wouldn't be just about chasing an orgasm or two, about a night of pleasure before he was on the road again never to see that person again.
"Do you want to touch me?" Dean asked, pulling back enough to see the angel's face.
Castiel's eyes flared and he knew he'd guessed right.
"Yes, please."
"Then go ahead," Dean encouraged, stealing a few more chaste kisses.
At the tentative touches to his arms, Dean brought his own hands up again, one to the angel's face and the other his back. As he'd hoped, Castiel followed his lead, one hand coming up to cup his face and the other sliding up his arm to rest on his chest, slightly above his heart. When he pulled away this time, it was to nuzzle further into the hand touching his face and he turned his head slightly to kiss the palm, eliciting a sharp intake of breath. Opening his eyes, Dean felt the breath catch in his throat at the look on Castiel's face. It was a mix between awe, amazement and wonder and he opened his mouth to tell him that no, he totally wasn't worth that, but the words refused to come.
Then Castiel stroked his face and his expression changed to confusion, his head tilting sideways in that bird-like way of his and the moment passed. Dean was suddenly able to breath again, though his heart was still racing a mile a minute. It took a few tries, but he was finally able to wet his mouth enough to actually talk.
"What is it?"
His voice was rough, low and wrecked and it seemed to further the angel's confusion.
"Your face, it goes from soft to rough."
That brought a smile to Dean's face. "It's the stubble, guys who shave have it."
"Hmm," Castiel replied and seemed perfectly content to just stand there, touching and watching him.
Dean used the observation to push aside his own desire for more, now.
"It's so different," Castiel continued.
"From what?"
"The skin on your back, it was soft and warm."
The memory of laying in bed beside the angel, almost completely naked with those hands on him caused another bolt of desire to shoot through Dean and his eyes dropped closed as he bit his lip to prevent the moan that rose within him from escaping. By the time he had some measure of control over himself again, Castiel's fingers had started moving on his face in a soft, exploratory touch. He opened his eyes to find himself the center of Castiel's intense focus as those fingers ran over his bottom lip, still caught between his teeth. He released it and shivered as the dry fingers trailed over it, catching slightly on the moisture. Then they trailed upwards, along his cheek to his nose and he closed his eyes once more, allowing Cas to gently trace his eyelids and then underneath, along his eyelashes.
When the touch trailed away from his eyes, Dean opened them once more and instantly found himself captured in the blue gaze. He was aware of Castiel lingering briefly over his freckles before the angel was brushing his cheek again, this time with the back of his fingers and he leaned into it until the desire to kiss Cas again grew too powerful and he did exactly that. Only this time, Dean allowed himself to slip a hand behind Castiel's neck and pull him closer so he could kiss him better, though he managed to keep it closed mouthed for all of that.
The wonderful little noises Castiel was making already were more than enough for him right now. When it was something as important as this, Dean was more than willing to wait and take it slow though he knew it would be damned difficult.
A.N.: Since I now know a little more where this story is going (I only had a vague idea before), I've updated the pairings and warnings on the masterpost.
Chapter 19