(no subject)
last night i thought i heard a mouse scrabbling around in my walls. to be completely honest, i keep a kosher bedroom. i don't know EXACTLY what keeping a kosher bedroom would entail, but i like the sound of it. i put my wine and my clothes away. i vacuum obsessively? livejournal i even managed to remove the wrapping paper from my boyfriend's birthday within a day! i am neat and completely unappealing to a mouse. i am like YANNI to a mouse. ok? i'm like church on a friday to a mouse.
they can't scrabble their way into my heart. my roommate brendan and i were talking about it. we agreed that we'd feel quite differently about mice if they moved approximately 3000% slower than they have evolved to move. if a mouse could just walk like a sloth, that'd be fine with me. we might even be friends? it's the superwarp speed that kills me. it's blood-chilling! "if i were accidentally laying across train tracks, and a train was coming at me, right now, i wouldn't even move," i told my boyfriend last night. i was, maybe, 50% dramatic.
keep in mind that these animals have merely penetrated my WALLS - they haven't taken the fortress! i'll never surrender. i did some google image searching today because it's my preferred hobby:
this led me to believe that i now only need a pet ferret? bear with me, i had to go FAR back in time to retrieve this photobucket image:
ferrets: be mine! i wouldn't even dress you up (too much).
they sell ferrets at neon-lit pet stores. from what i can gather, ferrets like to lay around in their own filth and sleep a lot. hey, FINE BY ME. just take care of the mice.
+
if i threw a big celebration, like someday, either with or without a cause for celebration, would you attend? seriously. i want to know this. if you don't reply yes/no/maybe so, you'll break my damned heart.
+
since matthew is a slacker about posting them, i'm posting them first. here are some pictures his german friend daniel sent to us:
this cat is the BANE of our weekend existence. tigger. some of tigger's body is obscured by the green-colored stuffed animal but don't be deceived: tigger is Obese. tigger's head is like 40% too small for his body, so i constantly take my hand and (non-violently) wrap it around his head, in true wonder over how such a disproportionate animal can exist. tigger is the cat that ran like a fat bullet around the yard this weekend. he likes "take-take" affection, meaning he'll rub his body against you and then bite you when he gets tired of it. the fact that daniel & anya actually took a picture of him in commemoration astounds and terrifies us, equally.
yuenglings in mason jars from our favorite bar, trusty's.
behind us is the jukebox we forever battle toto and u2 playing assholes over. it is a never-ending battle of rock, and we are the white knights.