Over the holidays I watched Disney's Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. The message in both that I got was: Fairies, no matter how well-intentioned, are disempowering and princes are pretty much useless
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Have you ever read Spindle's End by Robin McKinley? It's a take on Sleeping Beauty that really empowers the princess, without denying the help she gets from various other people (the fairies, the royal family). It's by far my favorite take on the story.
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