1. He snores. It's this God awful sound like lying INSIDE a jet engine.
2. He has this thing with family. And morals and values and all this warm and fuzzy shit.
3. If he painted his nails black -- like mine! -- he'd be emo.
4. He stabbed me with a fork once. I mean, come on now. BE A MAN.
5. He also stole my purple pen. He says it's because he's
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And I'm not gay.
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