In May's Room

[outcast_may]

After dinner May went down to her room. She'd never had Goulash before. It wasn't bad, far more appetising than the name seemed to hint at. Dax hadn't been at dinner though and that worried her. Where had he run off to? She hadn't heard enough noise to warrant his scramming like that. She gave a helpless shrug, she'd never understand what

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[_dax]

Dax finished his food and left his bowl in the stack of dirty dishes on the counter near Ryan, not making eye contact with Gel or Ryan or even Mouse, he deliberately avoided her as he took the stairs down. He couldn't bear it, and he needed to consider this, though he wasn't forbidden from being around Mouse, and she wasn't always with Brady, but he knew where Mouse was Brady was usually following closely behind, and he didn't want to take a chance right now. He'd spent most of dinner mulling over everything having to do with Luke and what he knew. The Guardian and the brainwashing had been very wrong about Salene, about May, about the Mallrats, about lots of people, lots of things, could he really trust what he knew about Luke? He was getting riled up over what could turn out to be nothing, but he needed to talk to someone, Salene, or Amber, about Luke and what their thoughts and position on him being here was really, to know how best to protect the Mall. It was then that it had dawned on him that May was the person to ask, she had

[outcast_may]

May stirred, her eyebrows drawing down. In her dreams she had awoken inside the Techno mines. Filthy, exhausted, being dragged from her bed for the beginning of her shift. What? How could she be here again? She stared around wildly. She had been at the Mall. The Technos had fallen. She winced at the sudden thought that everything of the past months had been nothing but a dream. Coming back to the Mall? The fall of the Technos? The New Chosen? Had she dreamed it all? It had felt real. But so did the mines.

She moaned, twisting onto her back. No. She didn't want to be here. How could it be? She cringed at the T-Gun pointed at her and dragged herself out of her cell. The work day beginning, knowing what would come at the end. The Game. She'd be forced to play. Or would it be the one like Paradise, where they seemed to tap into her brain. Make her live out things she didn't want to anymore. She whimpered. "No

[_dax]

Dax paused as he reached the curtain, had May just said 'no'? He turned slowly, eyebrow raised, the look on her face worried him, had he done the wrong thing? His eyes darted a little, trying to think, and then she curled up into a ball Please, no, and he realized she was asleep. He bit his bottom lip and took a few steps towards the bed, should he wake her? If she was having bad dreams he should, right? He moved to the bed and knelt down on his knees, putting his elbows on the bed and reaching a finger out to gently caress her arm, "Shhh it's ok," he told her quietly, moving to put his hand on her arm now, rubbing it, "shh it's just a bad dream, you're ok, shh," he called softly, moving his other hand to her forehead and brushing her hair back, caressing her forehead with his thumb. "You're safe now, it's ok," he promised her quietly again, he'd seen this before, people recovering from the Reality Space Sickness who'd come to the Chosen to recover, they had scared him with their screams in the night, at first he'd run to see what was

[outcast_may]

May didn't hear Dax's comforting words. All she heard was the footsteps in the mine as she walked with the others in their silent line. To the room...To the Game...She felt like making a break for it. Trying to get away. She didn't want to live through this again. She'd once tried to do something out of line at the mines. She'd tried to talk. Tried to resist. She'd learned how it felt to be stunned by a T-Gun in real life. Though when hooked up it felt just as real as the Game. As real as the Game? Wasn't it the Game felt like reality

[_dax]

Start over again. Give yourself a break. Easier said than done, that's what that was, it would be a lot of hard work, but of course he couldn't expect to have it be a piece of cake either, could he? "No but Trudy was pretty upset, and Ryan had that look in his eyes, contempt I think they call it. I've seen others looking at me that way, even before we got back to the Mall. I'm ok with that, I deserve it," he trailed off, swallowing hard. "Right, I'm going to try that giving myself a break thing, um," he shifted a bit and pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. No more guilt, right, that would never leave him, but he could stop apologizing maybe, just hold it all inside, May didn't need this from him, she'd been through her own trials before after leaving the Chosen, it was unfair of him to ask of her to bear his too. Just like he didn't want her fighting for him against the other Mallrats, it was his place to defend himself if he saw fit to do so, and May didn't need to be fighting for him, it wasn't right. But that was a fight they

[outcast_may]

May bit her lip as he ran his hand down her back and shivered. That was far to distracting. She framed his face gently with her hands. "If you deserve it, then so do I. So does Salene. So does Trudy, former Supreme Mother herself. We were all Chosen, Dax. We all have to live with it. Just give it some time." She kissed him lingeringly and slid down against his side, resting her head on his shoulder with a sigh, her hand resting on his chest. She really was tired, yet she didn't want to leave him worrying.

[_dax]

Dax gave a half smile, she was right, in some ways, they had been Chosen, but they hadn't been a part of the new world order, they hadn't been a part in turning Bray into Zoot and succeeding, or messing up Salene, or kidnapping and torturing children the way Dax had been. He had done horrible things to people, to innocent people, for a crazy man. The former Chosen had been bad too, he remembered, but he hadn't been a part of that, and now he'd done awful things, helped do awful things. But she was right, in some ways it was all the same, and he'd have to just live with it, survive and give it time. "Yeah, you're right," he answered softly, smiling as she slipped down and put her head on his shoulder, the kiss leaving a tingle behind. "Let's get some sleep huh?" Dax let his right hand come and rest against her side, the fabric of that sexy dress against his fingertips as he caressed where his hand lay was almost comforting, and he smiled a genuine smile, for he felt content to be holding her. He had never held a woman as she fell

[outcast_may]

May blinked sleepily a few times, dozing. She tilted her head up and smiled at Dax when she saw he was watching her, reaching up to carress his cheek lightly before snuggling a bit closer, letting her eyes drift shut, her hand again resting on his chest. She was still worried about the nightmares, but was too tired to stay awake any more. If they came they would, if not they wouldn't.