why do i always get drawn into ridiculous drama? no, i'm not after your boyfriend. i don't know where the fuck you have gotten that idea. i tried to date him once, and it didn't work out. i'm not stupid enough to try it again. he chose you, and that's the end of it. he would not have been dating you this long if he really didn't want/love/care ( Read more... )

the truth would have been nice. i'm sure it would have hurt a lot less than avoidance.

i hate to think that writing no longer helps me solve my problems. what has happened in the course of a year? why have i shut down even to myself? it's as if after that one moment i realized i could no longer trust life, i gave up on trying to solve it. i gave up on trying to be happy and setting expectations because i was just getting ready to ( Read more... )

this is probably the most honest thing you'll ever hear me say about myself. i don't know why i posted this now. it just kind of sums up my thoughts for the moment, though it was written in the past.[July 1, 2006-- it's july. why am i always surprised by time? this seems to be a fairly consistent pattern i have going here. perhaps it is related to ( Read more... )

i am rather bothered that the only times i write anymore are in times of stress, need, confusion, etc. why can't my writing stem from happiness? i don't think my writing ever stemmed from happiness, actually, so i am going to declare my own question invalid ( Read more... )

today=bad day.

enough said.

i always fall for the same ones. too bad they don't fall for me. i'm still just one of the guys.

rick shaw can go fuck himself. if i get stung by another motherfucking bee at the grill, i will take his hand and stick it in the bee catcher. im sick of this swelling extremities bullshit. twice on my foot tonight and once on my finger. that's 3 fingers in three days. SO MESSED UP!

...i went to la cantera today. and wouldn't you know, bcbg max azria had a bunch of dresses for 50% off. thus, i now have a dress for senior party. yeah, i know it's four months away. at least no else will have the same one. muahahahaha. so happy. :]


( Read more... )

my parents say that i should pursue art. maybe i'm not crazy. maybe they don't think i'm crazy. what the hell am i going to do?