And so begins my long weekend...

[outsidethebx]

Title: Pride, Crisis, Sound

Comments

[yellowsnakepoet]

I like the second one a lot.

[outsidethebx]

Thanks--I'm glad you did! :)

[redsnake05]

I'm always impressed when people can pack so much into 100 words. You effectively conveyed Helen' dissatisfaction and longing, which was great. I saw a one mistake ("two fingers slid into her wetness"), which is pretty good going (and I forgive you for it).

[outsidethebx]

First of all, thank you for pointing out the mistake. It's changed.

Secondly: I'm glad you liked it. I was inspired a little this morning, and only had a few minutes to actually write. I wanted to do more, but didn't have the chance. I'm working 16 hours today, tomorrow, and 12 on Sunday, so this was my only chance at being creative.

[sophie_lover]

Oh I like all 3 of them!! First one gives the complete sense of the end of Helen and Sean's relationship, where he thinks all is well when its anything but!!
2nd one is great because Helen's subconscious always knew the truth...hehe! What a nice dream she was having! I really like the last lines "a momentary pause for approval…Sean would never do anything like that. Nikki would."
3rd one was just pure hot yumminess!! Wonder what happened when Nikki opened her eyes...hehe ;)!!
It was so amazing how with just 100 words, a whole story can be written!!

[outsidethebx]

Now that's what I call feedback! Thank you so much. I *heart* knowing what each person specifically loves, and you broke it down rather nicely.

And yes...Helen subconscious always knew the truth. "It" was out before the rest of her was.

Thanks again for your comments.