F*@&ed Up 4/10

[outuendo_11]

Title: F*@&ked Up
Part: 4/10
Author: outuendo_11, with a little help from my friend!
Rating: MA 
Warnings: Contains graphic, dark material. Don't say I didn't warn you. 
Pairings: Sharon Raydor/Brenda Leigh Johnson, Sharon Raydor/OC, Brenda Leigh Johnson/Fritz Howard
Summary: Sharon Raydor's life is not as put together as it appears. 
a/n: Thank you readers for

Comments

[nvgvup]

French inhaled? Guess you gotta be a smoker? Which you're not...but you are a good researcher!

Locks changed. Check. No beer. Check. Kick dickhead ex-husband out on his ass. Fail. Oh Sharon, you were doing so good!

She still cared for him, though she wished she didn’t. Um, I'm not really sure about this. Maybe deep down but I'm thinking she's big time pretending that he's something he's not. Cuz I'm not seeing much to like here. Even the sex is horrific.

So why couldn’t she hope for and want that for herself? Yes! Why not?!

That last part...ouch. I kinda read with my eyes closed. For many reasons. These two women really need to heal. Seriously.
I'm still struggling with the darkness [and the rating] but you're doing a great job writing this :)

[outuendo_11]

I thought the French inhale was rather common knowledge and I will have you know, I attempted it with hookah...it made my nose almost bleed. Bad ideas.

Anyway, I know! Sharon was doing so well, but then...fail. And I know you don't see it, but I don't know. I guess I feel that Sharon feels stuck with him, and in a twisted way she still cares for her ex. Even if it's not logical for her to like him.

Anyway...I'm sorry the last part was hard to read. :( I'm glad you suffered through to give me an always wonderful review. :) You're the best and I'm glad you still like it even if you don't like the subject so much. :) You're the best.

[rahleeyah]

ok, you're killing me here. i ~hate the mitchell character. i just need our ladies to be together! but again, fabulous job.

[outuendo_11]

Oh, I'm certain you'll get your ladies together fairly soon! I'm sorry I'm killing you. I hope you can stay alive a little longer to find out what happens next. ;) And I'm glad you hate Mitchell. :)

Thanks for reviewing!

[spedlady]

I am so not a fan of Sharon's ex-husband, Mitchell. Of course, Fritz is like the stray dog you can't get rid of no matter how hard you try, so you let him stick around. While your writing is good, may we please have more Sharon and Brenda Lee? Thank you!

[outuendo_11]

I totally can see that about Fritz. He is a sweet, poor, stray dog. Poor thing. But at least he's nice. And yes, yes, more Brenda/Sharon action coming up. I promise! But isn't the wait exciting...?

[mtnsolitud]

That was intense. Vivid differences come to light, contrasting what they've experienced together and the hetero relationship they can't seem to avoid. On some level it's difficult to read because most people have been through the same thing. Stuck in the "comfortable" but completely drawn to the "new and beautiful". Thank you sharing and for your talent.

[outuendo_11]

I'm glad you understand this and see the realities in it. I can somewhat - on a smaller scale - understand what Sharon is going through, and also kind of how Brenda is feeling towards Fritz. They both have such complex, long histories with these men, yet they both are realizing it's not what they want. Anyway, thank you for your reviews and for continually enjoying it!

[joelthecat]

"She still cared for him, though she wished she didn’t."

Yeah.

“I don’t think I like it when you stand up to me.”

You could make a heck of a double entendre out of that one!

I don't know if I'm older than your typical reader, or what, but I found this beautifully true-to-life. The conflict involved in abandoning a long-term relationship that has turned sour can be truly wrenching, and you depict two different stages of it quite well.

I do wonder about your word choice in a couple of places, though. I think the story might have read differently if Sharon's keys actually had landed in a "bowel" rather than a "bowl," particularly if it were Mitchell's bowel. Also, "administering" rather than "ministering" makes me wonder a bit about poor Brenda's love life!

But you know I love this story, and that I wouldn't miss any of it for the world. Waiting for the next part.

[outuendo_11]

Oh my goodness...how embarrassing that I wrote bowel instead of bowl! I went in and re-edited it. Thanks for catching that and the other. I guess I didn't proofread hard enough.

I am also so glad that you found this true to life. It is something I strive to accomplish in every work of fiction - to find parallels to real life and to show that these characters are real people too (in a sense).

I'm so glad you love it, even through my glaring mistakes. :) Thank you for reviewing, as always! And more is coming soon.