(no subject)
Well, I checked and it turns out I'm a man, so...
1. Do you have facial hair? If so, how much? If not, how often do you shave?
Oh yeah, I have hella bear action going on here. I shave whenever I feel like looking cleanshaven will matter or when my beard starts getting itchy.
2. Have you ever been in a fight?
Not really...
I mean yes! I punched out three lumberjacks just to go to the bathroom earlier today!
3. Have you ever been in a dance fight?
I do not speak of that day
4. How many girl/boyfriends have you had?
"Officially"? Three, but all were staggeringly unsuccessful relationships for various reasons.
5. Are you tall or short?
Tall-ish, at ~5'10"
6. When was the last time you hit the gym?
Gyms aren't my choice of excercise, so not since...junior year of college
7. What kind of music do you listen to?
Lots of stuff, but mainly TV-show and movie OSTs
8. Are you single right now?
For over four years now
9. Did you enjoy gym class as a kid?
No.
10. Do you play/have you ever played any sports?
Did Tae Kwon Do in high school.
11. If you could have any animal in the world for a pet, what would it be?
Some kind of big cat, a leopard or something.
12. Do you smoke?
Hell no.
13. What would your superhero name be?
I'd be one of those heroes that never tell you his name. Hella mysterious.
14. What would your porn name be?
Richard "Dick" Coxely
15. What would your son's name be?
I like the name Sam.
16. What would your daughter's name be?
Zoe, or Chloe. -oe something
17. Are you a slob?
More than a bit
18. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Rum and Coke. Whiskey and coke is good too.
19. What kind of drunk are you/do you think you'd be?
Loud.
20. If your life was a movie, which actor would you want to play you?
Dunno off hand, but he'd be a SEXY BEAST.
21. What makes you smile? (HINT: Acceptable answers- beef jerky, getting into fights, naked women, naked women getting into fights.)
Crushing my enemies and hearing the lamentations of their women. Also: bagels.
22. What pisses you off? (HINT: Acceptable answers- racism, getting rear-ended, the continued existence of Robert Pattinson.)
People who take pleasure out of causing misery to others.
23. What makes you cry? (HINT: Acceptable answers- N/A.)
I had my tear ducts replaced with machetes that can shoot from my eyes.
24. Who is your favorite fictional badass?
Pepper, from the Ragamuffin Trilogy by Tobis S. Buckell.
25. What is your favorite knife-fighting technique?
First, you take your knife. Then you take the other guy's knife. Then you use both and stab his face off.
26. If you could be transported back in time to any point in history, when would it be?
I'd drop back to the 1920s and get a sweet suit, then come back to now.
27. Do you have chest hair?
Some
28. Lead, follow, or get out of the way?
Get out of the way
29. Do you think you'll ever get married?
If I met the right person.
30. Are you a good driver?
I try to be.
31. If you could sleep with any one celebrity, who would it be?
Firefly era Jewel Staite. Rawr.
32. Have you ever been in love?
Can't say that I have.
33. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
I got a concussion from trying to make long skid marks by jamming on the breaks while riding my bike down a steep hill while my helmet was on really loosely. That's pretty dumb.
34. Possibly as a result of the above, what's the worst you've ever been hurt?
Inflamed appendix, almost died. Had it removed. On Septerber 11, 2001.
35. How many wild animals have you defeated in bare-handed combat within the last year?
Two bears, a mountain lion, and an elephant. There were also some wild dingos, but I had a club, so it wasn't bare handed.
36. You have been made Emperor of the Whole Goddamned World. What's the first thing you do?
Declare topless Tuesday
37. What do you fear?
Cockroaches. Don't ask why. Don't push it. I will fucking knife the first douche who gets one of those hell demons within a mile of me before collapsing into a fetal ball.
38. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
No. I would get a tattoo if I could think of anything that I wouldn't regret having on my body.
39. How long is your hair?
Maybe an inch and a half? It used to be most of the way down my back, but then I stopped being a student and started being a guy looking for a job.
40. If you could punch anyone in the world in the face without repercussions, who would it be?
Prof.
41. Who is your closest friend?
Probably Justin Shaver, these days. So, a guy you've never met.
42. What are your current goals, and what are you doing to achieve them?
1: Get a job.
2: Get my life in something resembling order
43. What would you do if you found out you had three days left to live?
See to it that at the end of day three, I'm in someone else's bed.
44. Have you ever been a lumberjack or a fireman?
No, but I've built houses.
45. A wizard has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome Y/N?
N, I hate shrimp.
46. What cartoons did you watch as a kid?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, GI Joe, whatever random shit was on on Saturday morning, Rug Rats, Voltron, Robotech.
47. What time do you wake up in the morning?
Usually between 9:30 and 10:30
48. What card games do you know how to play?
Not a big cards person, but uh Mau, Poker...
*looks left*
*looks right*
Magic: The Gathering
49. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
The REAL question is "Is the President a bad enough dude to be rescued by ME?"
And last but not least:
50. How long is yours?
Compared to the truth, such attributes as length suddenly seem trite and pointless. You could not comprehend the true answer.
1. Do you have facial hair? If so, how much? If not, how often do you shave?
Oh yeah, I have hella bear action going on here. I shave whenever I feel like looking cleanshaven will matter or when my beard starts getting itchy.
2. Have you ever been in a fight?
Not really...
I mean yes! I punched out three lumberjacks just to go to the bathroom earlier today!
3. Have you ever been in a dance fight?
I do not speak of that day
4. How many girl/boyfriends have you had?
"Officially"? Three, but all were staggeringly unsuccessful relationships for various reasons.
5. Are you tall or short?
Tall-ish, at ~5'10"
6. When was the last time you hit the gym?
Gyms aren't my choice of excercise, so not since...junior year of college
7. What kind of music do you listen to?
Lots of stuff, but mainly TV-show and movie OSTs
8. Are you single right now?
For over four years now
9. Did you enjoy gym class as a kid?
No.
10. Do you play/have you ever played any sports?
Did Tae Kwon Do in high school.
11. If you could have any animal in the world for a pet, what would it be?
Some kind of big cat, a leopard or something.
12. Do you smoke?
Hell no.
13. What would your superhero name be?
I'd be one of those heroes that never tell you his name. Hella mysterious.
14. What would your porn name be?
Richard "Dick" Coxely
15. What would your son's name be?
I like the name Sam.
16. What would your daughter's name be?
Zoe, or Chloe. -oe something
17. Are you a slob?
More than a bit
18. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Rum and Coke. Whiskey and coke is good too.
19. What kind of drunk are you/do you think you'd be?
Loud.
20. If your life was a movie, which actor would you want to play you?
Dunno off hand, but he'd be a SEXY BEAST.
21. What makes you smile? (HINT: Acceptable answers- beef jerky, getting into fights, naked women, naked women getting into fights.)
Crushing my enemies and hearing the lamentations of their women. Also: bagels.
22. What pisses you off? (HINT: Acceptable answers- racism, getting rear-ended, the continued existence of Robert Pattinson.)
People who take pleasure out of causing misery to others.
23. What makes you cry? (HINT: Acceptable answers- N/A.)
I had my tear ducts replaced with machetes that can shoot from my eyes.
24. Who is your favorite fictional badass?
Pepper, from the Ragamuffin Trilogy by Tobis S. Buckell.
25. What is your favorite knife-fighting technique?
First, you take your knife. Then you take the other guy's knife. Then you use both and stab his face off.
26. If you could be transported back in time to any point in history, when would it be?
I'd drop back to the 1920s and get a sweet suit, then come back to now.
27. Do you have chest hair?
Some
28. Lead, follow, or get out of the way?
Get out of the way
29. Do you think you'll ever get married?
If I met the right person.
30. Are you a good driver?
I try to be.
31. If you could sleep with any one celebrity, who would it be?
Firefly era Jewel Staite. Rawr.
32. Have you ever been in love?
Can't say that I have.
33. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
I got a concussion from trying to make long skid marks by jamming on the breaks while riding my bike down a steep hill while my helmet was on really loosely. That's pretty dumb.
34. Possibly as a result of the above, what's the worst you've ever been hurt?
Inflamed appendix, almost died. Had it removed. On Septerber 11, 2001.
35. How many wild animals have you defeated in bare-handed combat within the last year?
Two bears, a mountain lion, and an elephant. There were also some wild dingos, but I had a club, so it wasn't bare handed.
36. You have been made Emperor of the Whole Goddamned World. What's the first thing you do?
Declare topless Tuesday
37. What do you fear?
Cockroaches. Don't ask why. Don't push it. I will fucking knife the first douche who gets one of those hell demons within a mile of me before collapsing into a fetal ball.
38. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
No. I would get a tattoo if I could think of anything that I wouldn't regret having on my body.
39. How long is your hair?
Maybe an inch and a half? It used to be most of the way down my back, but then I stopped being a student and started being a guy looking for a job.
40. If you could punch anyone in the world in the face without repercussions, who would it be?
Prof.
41. Who is your closest friend?
Probably Justin Shaver, these days. So, a guy you've never met.
42. What are your current goals, and what are you doing to achieve them?
1: Get a job.
2: Get my life in something resembling order
43. What would you do if you found out you had three days left to live?
See to it that at the end of day three, I'm in someone else's bed.
44. Have you ever been a lumberjack or a fireman?
No, but I've built houses.
45. A wizard has turned you into a whale. Is this awesome Y/N?
N, I hate shrimp.
46. What cartoons did you watch as a kid?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, GI Joe, whatever random shit was on on Saturday morning, Rug Rats, Voltron, Robotech.
47. What time do you wake up in the morning?
Usually between 9:30 and 10:30
48. What card games do you know how to play?
Not a big cards person, but uh Mau, Poker...
*looks left*
*looks right*
Magic: The Gathering
49. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
The REAL question is "Is the President a bad enough dude to be rescued by ME?"
And last but not least:
50. How long is yours?
Compared to the truth, such attributes as length suddenly seem trite and pointless. You could not comprehend the true answer.