At Melbourne Central on Thursday. Waiting on platform 3 and 4.

"Upfield service delayed 5 minutes. Now arriving platform 12"

I wonder if platform 12 is anything like platform 9 3/4...

On the West Preston tram.
Two drunk guys talking.

Guy 1: 'Mate, your worst quality is how badly you describe movies. you fuck up the plot, get the actors names wrong and give the endings away, I love you mate and I am happy for you to talk, just don't expect me to listen"

Guy 2:... (Dead silence)

Me: (Stifling a laugh and failing)

 Overheard at uni, walking behind a pair of girls.

Girl 1: "Hey! Don't you think that piece of bark looks like a horse?"

I resisted looking at said piece of bark, so I can not report on its resemblance.

Overheard in a Vietnamese grocery shop in Little Saigon, Footscray
[sing song female voice] "Noooodles, noooodles where could you be?"
Followed by a young woman in gumboots, to a small boy
"No udon for you. Go back."

Outside Hares & Hyenas, Peril Magazine event last night...

Girl (walking out, grinning): It's like Gaysian Sexpo in there!

Father: Bars have only been big in Melbourne for the last ten years.
Daughter: Blowjobs, too.

From a father and son (about 3 years old) on the 59 tram:

Father: There's another tram! What will you name this one?
Son: Boobies! :D

Overheard at work.

Girl: I hate condoms, I never use them.
Guy: I know right?
Girl: yeah they're gross.
Guy: do you know whats even worse?
Girl: what?
Guy: AIDS!!!

Swanston/Flinders St McDonald's:

"No, you're not a ninja, you're a fuckwit."

Belgrave train over the weekend. I keep forgetting to post the notes I leave on my phone. :/

Girl (on phone): I'm gonna come with a pillow strapped to my bum!