Flash!
Title: Flash!
Rating: PG13
Category: Crack is your friend/Humor
Characters: Super Junior and Henry (no pairings)
Summary: Heechul loves the camera, a little bit too much.
Heechul loved the camera and everybody knew it. He was a bit saddened that the rest of Super Junior didn’t share his view. Sure, they were all self proclaimed cam whores, but they didn’t carry a Sony 8.1 megapixel digital camera everywhere they went nor did they take pictures of themselves every chance they got.
Lately, whenever Heechul would pop up beside a member and hold the camera in front of them, they would shield their faces and walk in the opposite direction.
This would not do, at all, for Heechul.
Normally, Heechul wouldn’t lower himself to things like this because he was honest, caring, lov-okay, let’s stop the lying. Heechul could be very scheming, manipulative and sneaky, and this was one of those times.
It was a normal day in the Super Junior household, well no, not really. Normal would have been lots of screaming, running around, talking, and the random strip dance from Donghae. Today was oddly quiet. Most of the members didn’t have a schedule today and they were left to do whatever they wanted.
Armed with his super sleek, thin, hot pink Sony camera, safely tucked inside a pocket, he walked into the dorm where most of the members lived in.
A few of the members yelled out, “Hi Heechul-hyung” from the living room, and then resumed their video games.
Heechul couldn’t help but think that he was in a group with boring members. They had the day off and they were playing video games. He shook his head, and decided to check the bedrooms and if there were any interesting activities happening, but he highly doubted it. His hot pink camera was going to go to waste today. Saddening.
As he neared one room, he could hear Big Bang’s Last Farewell being played and some not so great singing. Heechul couldn’t help but think that the studio must have done one hell of a job to cover up one of his member’s singing, because it was bad.
“I don’t wanna be without you girl, majimak insaneun jeobeodugil barae.”
Heechul cracked open the door, just enough to see who it was. The music blared through the crack, and Heechul almost died of laughter.
“”Baby baby baby jogeum eosaekhajiman seoro.”
There, actually doing the moves to the song and singing, was Henry Lau the violin boy.
“Baby baby baby ajik saranghago inneunde.”
Heechul noticed that he wasn’t that bad, and was actually in sync with everything. That is the dancing was good. The singing? Not so much.
“Baby baby baby duryeopgineun hajimanseodo.”
His Korean had greatly improved, too if he could actually sing along to songs even though it was possible that only dogs could hear him at some points.
“Kkeuchiboijiman nan geuraedo only you girl.”
Heechul was biting the insides of his cheeks (hey, they were taught something on Exploring the Human Body) hard to keep himself from laughing out loud. Although, Henry denied it thousands of times, he was the biggest Big Bang fanboy there was. Ever since New Year’s Eve, he had started to accumulate a lot of Big Bang merchandise. His dorm room was scary and looked a lot like a 13 year old Big Bang fangirl’s room. Although, Henry never showed any of the members his newly decorated room, Heechul had his ways. He made a mental note to himself to go back to Henry’s room and take a shot of it.
“I don't wanna be without you girl majimak insaneun jeobeodugil barae.”
Heechul carefully took his camera out of his pocket and turned it on.
This deserved the video option.
----
After closing the door to the room, Heechul completely killed himself laughing. Seriously, Henry the Big Bang fanboy. Okay, the name needed some work, but he was sure that the netizens would find something cute and catchy.
Heechul rewatched the scene on his camera while walking towards what he thought was an empty kitchen. Too engrossed in Henry’s performance of Last Farewell, Heechul didn’t notice that there were three occupants in the kitchen. A sudden BANG alerted his attention. He poke his head into the kitchen and saw Shiwon, Kangin and Yehsung in frilly pink aprons.
Heechul couldn’t help but send a silent thank you to the heavens. He thought that it was going to be a boring night for pictures, but he was so glad that he was wrong. Three of the “manliest” members of Super Junior in pink frilly aprons making cupcakes, willingly, without any cameras (that they knew of) on them. This was too good.
“You’ve never made marshmallow fondant for cupcakes? What’s wrong with you?” Kangin chastised the other members. To Kangin, it seemed like it was a crime that they had never made fondant in their life.
“Do you mean frosting, hyung?” Shiwon asked, as he placed a floured hand on Kangin’s shirt.
“Yah! This shirt is expensive! Can’t be getting flour all over it!” Kangin cried out and shook him off. A disappointed Shiwon pouted.
“I don’t see why we have to wear these pink aprons, they don’t match my hair today, at all,” Yehsung said with a frown but his eyes suddenly grew wide and he grabbed at Kangin’s expensive shirt. “Kangin! Is this a hidden camera? This is very suspicious! We’re wearing pink aprons, and we’re making mini pink cupcakes!”
Kangin pried Yehsung off of him and calmed him down. “Hyung, calm down! It’s Kyuhyun’s birthday soon and since I have no money, I decided to make him cupcakes with special fondant on top.”
“Oh,” Yehsung said, and brushed the flour off of his and Kangin’s shirts. “No matching hats?”
“There’s a pink chef’s hat with Doraemon on it if you want,” Kangin said pointing towards the table.
Yehsung’s eyes lit up and he quickly went over to put it on.
Heechul smiled. This was amazing.
“Hey, shouldn’t it be from all three of us?” Shiwon asked, as he started to play with the fondant on the table.
Kangin slapped Shiwon’s hand away from the fondant. “I’ll think about it.”
Heechul smirked. I’ll think about it in Kangin speak was a no. He would probably end up taking all the credit for the pink cupcakes.
“Okay, I thought that I could make some pink flowers, and Yehsung, you can make the hearts, and Shiwon you can make the ribbons,” Kangin instructed. He then broke off a piece of the fondant and began demonstrating how to make perfect flowers and hearts.
Heechul took out his camera again.
This, too, deserved the video option.
Heechul had to admit that Kangin was a pretty good teacher. When Super Junior disbanded, he should consider having his own cooking show, while wearing the pink apron and matching Doraemon hat. It’d be a hit.
“Right, so now you two try it,” Kangin said to his pupils.
Surprisingly, they made some pretty ribbons, flowers and hearts. They stuck them on top of the pink frosted cupcakes and stood back to admire them.
“Ah, I’m so proud of you both,” Kangin said, as he placed an arm around each of them.
Shiwon beamed while Yehsung shrugged Kangin off.
From the doorway, Heechul took a close up picture of their creations.
Thank god for the no flash option.
----
Heechul quietly tip toed out to the living room, and hid behind an overly large plant that they had in the dorm for decoration. In the middle of the room were Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Eunhyuk and Donghae. Donghae was passed out on the couch and only had on boxers and a half buttoned shirt. Heechul assumed that he had just done his random strip dance for the day. If he was really cruel, he would take a picture of Donghae, right now.
Donghae must’ve been a bit disappointed that Kibum wasn’t there to see the show, though.
“Aish, I lost again,” Eunhyuk threw the game controller down onto the floor. “I quit.”
“You sore loser, come back and play the next round!” Kyuhyun called out.
Eunhyuk was playing no mind to Kyuhyun, but rather walked over to the passed out Donghae on the couch. “Aigoo, I hate it when he does this. I don’t see why he couldn’t just drag Kibum into a room instead of trying to strip in the middle of the living room.”
“Don’t you think we should move him? He doesn’t look too good,” Sungmin said, clutching onto one of his stuffed toys. “I can’t believe he passed out while drinking orange juice. Is that even possible?”
“Donghae’s crazy,” Eunhyuk replied. “He probably has some kind of chemical imbalance that makes orange juice act like alcohol for him-and have you noticed that he has a really broad chest?”
”Random, much?” Heechul thought.
Kyuhyun and Sungmin peeked over Eunhyuk’s shoulder and onto Donghae’s chest that was barely concealed by his button up shirt.
“It’s not that broad,” Kyuhyun said, after observing. “I’m sure mine is broader.”
Eunhyuk placed Kyuhyun beside Donghae and observed the two. “No, I think Donghae’s broader.”
“You should just get a measuring tape and measure our chests, then,” Kyuhyun suggested in a teasing manner.
“Ah, good idea! Take off your shirt, Kyu!” Eunhyuk cried out, as he went to search for a measuring tape.
Kyuhyun and Sungmin gave each other strange looks. Were they actually going to measure their chests?
Stranger things have happened in the Super Junior household.
“Yah! Take off your shirt!” Eunhyuk said when he came back with a yellow piece of measuring tape in his hand.
“I have to say I feel a little bit violated with you looking at me like that,” Kyuhyun said, with a glint of suspicion in his eyes.
Eunhyuk waved him off. “Just do it.”
Kyuhyun stripped off his shirt. Sungmin covered his stuffed animal’s eyes. And, Heechul began taking pictures.
“Am I supposed to measure below or above your ..., “ Eunhyuk trailed off.
“I thought you were supposed to measure on them,” Sungmin suggested.
Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun gave each other strange looks.
“Uh, just measure below, and we’ll add an inch or whatever,” Kyuhyun said hastily.
“If we were measuring Yunho’s chest, we’d have to add at least 5 inches,” Sungmin said, sweetly. “To each moob.”
“Okay, put your hands over your head, and I’ll just-stop laughing!”
“I can’t help it! I’m ticklish!” Kyuhyun giggled.
“Well, try not to be,” Eunhyuk said, as he tried to measure Kyuhyun’s chest. “Oh, okay, you’re about 34 inches, which isn’t bad, I guess.”
“Isn’t that a small?” Sungmin asked from his position on the ground, still covering the bunny’s eyes. “Kyuhyun-ah, can you put your shirt back on, Mr. Bunny wants to be able to open his eyes.”
Kyuhyun hastily put his shirt back, relieved to not be under Eunhyuk’s scrutinizing eyes. He ignored Sungmin’s comment about being small and turned towards Donghae. “Okay, let’s measure him.”
Eunhyuk went over and unbuttoned the rest of Donghae’s shirt and laid it open.
“Wow, it’s so white,” Eunhyuk said.
Sungmin and Kyuhyun nodded. “Not a hair in sight, unlike Kangin.”
“He probably shaves it, or waxes,” Kyuhyun suggested.
“Right, I’ll just measure him-Sungmin, what are you doing?” Eunhyuk suddenly asked when Sungmin appeared by Donghae’s side with a pink marker in his hand.
“Just drawing a heart on Donghae’s cheek,” he said, as he drew it. He said it as if it was completely normal to draw on people’s faces when they were passed out.
Eunhyuk shook his head and carefully measured Donghae’s chest. “Okay, his is … wow, 38 inches! I must start drinking orange juice.”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. “Okay, let’s measure you!”
Kyuhyun tried to pry the measurement tape out of his hands, but was unsuccessful.
“Nooooo, I don’t enjoy that kind of thing!” Eunhyuk cried out.
“You know, we could measure other things of Donghae’s,” Sungmin said pointing to the rather open and sprawled position of Donghae on the couch.
Heechul was very much so regretting that he didn’t have this on video option. Things looked like it was going to get X-rated, soon.
Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk gave each other surprised looks.
“Yah! Sungmin! We can’t go around measuring people’s private spots just because they’re passed out,” Eunhyuk chastised him. “That would be taking advantage of people!”
Sungmin blinked and then covered the bunny’s ears. “Who said I wanted to do that? I meant I wanted to measure his feet! They’re huge!”
Heechul tried hitting himself from laughing.
“Oh, well then,” Eunhyuk murmured.
Kyuhyun looked at the floor. Eunhyuk looked at the ceiling. Sungmin played with his bunny. Donghae let out a snore. And, Heechul tried pinching himself.
----
Heechul snuck over to the second bedroom, and could still vaguely hear Big Bang’s Lie coming from the room that Henry was in. If he was really mean, he’d go and sneak a peek at the encore presentation, but he had other people to humiliate.
He heard whispering and opened the door just a bit.
“Okay, Ryeowook, this cannot go anywhere,” Kibum’s quiet voice rang through the creak of the door.
Ryeowook nodded and pulled out a small black bag.
Heechul quirked an eyebrow up. Just what exactly were they doing?
“Okay, as long as you don’t tell anyone about this,” Ryeowook said in a very serious tone.
Kibum rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows about you, Ryeowook.”
Ryewook scowled at Kibum, and began to take the contents out of the black bag.
Heechul’s eyes widened, and once again, he tried not to burst out laughing.
“Do you think you’re an E20 or E90?” Ryeowook asked, holding up two tubes of concealer.
Everybody and their mother knew that Super Junior wore make up, but no one actually had the entire video of them putting it on from end to start. The fact that it was Kibum putting the makeup on just made it a thousand times better.
“Probably an E20, and do you think that you could lengthen my eyelashes, too?” Kibum asked, as he searched through Ryewook’s bag.
Clearly, searching or even touching Ryeowook’s makeup bag was big fat no-no, because he quickly took it out of Kibum’s hand. “Don’t ever touch the bag,” Ryeowook told Kibum.
Kibum widened his eyes and held up his hands in surrender.
Ryeowook smiled and then said, “Sure, we can use the mascara, don’t worry, it’s not clumpy, at all, and if it is, we can use the eyelash brush.”
Kibum smiled and closed his eyes so that Ryeowook could work on lengthening his lashes.
On the other side of the door, a very excited Heechul was filming the process on the digital camera.
“My T zone has been really oily, lately,” Kibum said, as Ryewook applied the mascara. “Do you think I should start using Aveeno or Lancome for it? I heard both of those cleansers work well.”
Heechul was biting his lip very hard, at the moment.
“Lancome, but Aveeno is good for tightening pores,” Ryewook replied. “You’re looking really pale.”
Kibum suddenly opened his eyes, quickly. “Should we think about blush?”
“Look what you did! You’re not supposed to open your eyes, yet!” Ryeowook cried out, disappointed that Kibum had ruined his masterpiece of mascara.
“Oh, sorry,” and he closed his eyes.
Ryeowook nodded. “You should think about blush, it’s for the best.”
Heechul loved technology.
-----
Heechul walked back up to this dorm room while looking at the pictures of today’s events. He was a bit sad that Eeteuk, Shindong and Hankyung weren’t able to be in it because it would have been nice to have everyone, but what he had would suffice.
He walked into his dorm without even noticing that there already were people in it, more specifically, in the washroom. Someone had just let out a rather high pitched scream from the washroom.
Curious, Heechul walked over to the closed door and opened it a bit. He was becoming pro at the whole ninja-stealth thing.
“I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD HURT THAT MUCH!” Eeteuk’s voice shrieked.
“It IS wax, hyung! It’s not like shaving or plucking,” Hankyung’s soft voice answered.
“Uh, I hope you want to do the other eyebrow, because it looks really bad, right now,” Shindong said slowly, as if he was scared of Eeteuk’s answer.
Heechul, seriously, thought that he must have done something incredibly amazing in his past life to be gifted with this scene. As usual, he whipped out the hot pink camera and began his crusade of humiliation.
“No,” Eeteuk whined, “I don’t want to do it again! It hurt more than having a baby!”
“Right, because we all have experience with having illegitimate love children,” Shindong said sarcastically. “Plus, if you don’t do the other eyebrow, it’ll look really … ugly.”
The washroom was dead quiet.
Ugly.
The one word that Eeteuk never wanted to hear in his life.
“Oh, FINE,” Eeteuk cried out. “Are you sure Ryeowook can’t make it even with his makeup magic?”
Shindong and Hankyung shook their heads gravely.
Eeteuk breathed. “Okay, let’s do it.”
Shindong began mixing the wax so that the texture became consistent, and placed it on Eeteuk’s right eyebrow. Hankyung then took a piece of felt to lie on top of the wax. Just as he was about to pull it off, Eeteuk shot up from his seat.
“Maybe, we can just ask Ryeowook to look at it,” Eeteuk suggested.
The two boys shook their head.
Eeteuk frowned and sat back down. “Okay, but don’t you guys need to do this, too? Didn’t manager hyung tell you to pretty yourselves up? Shindong! You have really hairy legs! Don’t you think you should wax them?”
Again, the two boys shook their heads gravely.
“Okay, just do it,” Eeteuk said, closing his eyes and bracing himself from the pain he was about to endure.
Hankyung looked at Shindong, and Shindong looked at Hankyung. They had to do what was best for Super Junior.
A loud shriek echoed throughout the entire dorm room which Heechul caught; every second of it.
------
“Uh, Kyuhyun, have you seen this yet?” Sungmin asked from the computer, completely in shock at the pictures he was staring at.
“What are you talking about?” Kyuhyun asked, as he walked over with a glass of juice.
“This!” Sungmin pointed at the screen, earnestly.
On the screen was a picture of a topless Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk measuring his chest, but because of the angle, it looked like he was measuring something else. Underneath the picture was the caption: Super Junior’s Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun comparing breast sizes?
“Oh, dear god,” Kyuhyun said slowly, and he continued to scroll down the page.
The next picture was of a passed out Donghae with his shirt completely unbuttoned. Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun and Sungmin surrounded his form and the looks on their faces suggested that they were about do something very inappropriate. The caption read: Super Junior members taking advantage of another member’s poor health?
“Hey, what are you two-WHAT IS THAT?” Donghae cried out, when he saw the image of him on the sofa half naked.
“Uh, yeah, you see, we don’t --” Sungmin tried to explain but was interrupted.
“What is going on in here?” Eunhyuk had come in, and it seemed as if the rest of Super Junior and Henry followed.
“Uh, well I think that -” Kyuhyun began.
“WHAT … is that?” Eunhyuk pointed at the screen.
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, YESTERDAY?” Donghae cried out to Eunhyuk, as he pulled the zipper of his jacket higher. “I feel a bit violated.”
“Heh, it doesn’t stop there,” Sungmin murmured, as he scrolled down.
The next item was a video of Henry flailing around in the dorm room to Last Farewell. The caption read: Henry Lau, sixth member of Big Bang? Below that was a picture of Henry’s fanboy inspired room. Posters of Big Bang covered every inch of the walls, sheets and pillow cases had the the chibi faces of Big Bang, and it seemed like every stationary Henry owned was related to Big Bang. The caption read: Or, not. Henry Lau, the BB fanboy, sounds better.
“URGH! How … when … WHO?” Henry spazzed at the other members.
“I KNEW you were a fanboy!” Shindong cried out. “You should have let me introduce them to you! I’m sure Seungri would have taken a great liking towards you.”
“What the hell were you two doing to Eeteuk?” Eunhyuk asked, as he looked at the next set of pictures.
The pictures showed a very scared Eeteuk sitting on top of the toilet seat with a rather menacing Hankyung and Shindong staring down at him. The caption read: Super Junior’s Shindong and Hankyung torturing band umma? Social services, anyone?. It then showed a picture of Eeteuk’s face with the right eyebrow being ridiculously thin, and the left being normal sized. Right after that was a video that showcased the entire event of the eyebrow wax. The caption said: Super Junior’s 21st century torture techniques: the eyebrow wax.
All of the members turned to look at the eyebrow waxing trio.
Eeteuk shrugged. “Manager hyung told me to! He said getting my eyebrows waxed would make a huge difference!”
The members continued to stare.
“Yah! I thought you said you made those cupcakes on your own, Kangin-hyung!” Kyuhyun said from the computer, relieving the awkward staring at the eyebrow wax trio.
“I did!” Kangin said, clearly offended.
“Well, not according to these photos and video!” Kyuhyun turned the monitor towards Kangin’s direction.
The video showed a very enthusiastic Kangin directing Yehsung and Shiwon how to properly fold fondant. Underneath the video were the pictures of the newly decorated cupcakes with the faces of their creators side by side. The caption read: Super Junior’s new side project: cooking show! In the works.
“You said that you didn’t give the cupcakes to Kyuhyun, yet!” Shiwon cried out.
“Yeah! And you also said that you would let me keep the Doraemon hat!” Yehsung said, equally as mad.
“Heh, guys, let’s not get too violent,” Kangin said, waving his hands in surrender. “You looked really nice, Yehsung! The pink hat brought out the paleness of your face!”
“Speaking of paleness, Kibum, I had no idea,” Hankyung said, now taking over the seat at the computer.
Kibum had been smiling at the other members’ antics, but it quickly turned into a worried look when Hankyung spoke. “What are you talking about?”
Pictures of Kibum and Ryeowook, surrounded by makeup, showed up on the screen. The video’s caption that documented the whole process was: Ryewook, will you do our make up? Kibum, we don’t think you have an oily T-zone, at all, but you should go with Shiseido.
“Breathe, Kibum, breathe,” Sungmin gently patted him on the back when he saw that Kibum had started to hyperventilate.
“Hey, at least you’ll have another career waiting for you, Ryeowook,” Yehsung reassured a shock Ryewook.
“Is that all?” Eunhyuk asked Hankyung. “I mean, who in the world would do this?”
Hankyung nodded when he couldn’t scroll down any more.
Shiwon went to stand beside Hankyung and scrolled through the pictures again. “Hey, how come there aren’t any pictures or videos of you, Heechul-hyung?” he turned to look at Heechul. “You’ve been awfully quiet, too.”
All the members turned to stare at Heechul.
Heechul gave a nervous laugh. “They probably love me, and are all antis of you!”
A few of the members narrowed their eyes at him, clearly not convinced.
“They probably want me to go solo after looking at all the crazy and abnormal things you guys do when cameras aren’t on you,” Heechul laughed again, although it wasn’t very believable again.
“Hyung, did you do this?” Shiwon asked.
“Me? Nooooo!” Heechul replied, slowly backing towards the door.
“Are you sure?” Shiwon asked, as the other members stepped closer to Heechul.
“Of course, I mean, why would I-“ But before Heechul could even finish what he said, he turned around and made a dash for the door with 13 boys running after him.
“OKAY! I DID DO IT!” Heechul cried out, while he ran to his dorm room.
Heechul had made it to his dorm room without getting a single bone broken. His hair may have been a mess, but it was a small price to pay. He could hear the other members banging on his bedroom door with threats.
“HA! YOU SHOULD ALWAYS REMEMBER TO SMILE FOR HEECHUL’S CAMERA!” he shouted back with gleeful laughter.
------
Henry was normally not a manipulative and scheming boy. Au contraire, he was quite the opposite. Back home, he was known for his loving and caring nature, but that had all seemed to have disappeared after Heechul had posted up a video online showing him dancing and singing to Big Bang’s Last Farewell. Sure, he was now invited to Big Bang’s next performance by the members, themselves, but still! There’s a matter of pride!
That was why Henry was awake at 4 am in the morning, and right outside of Heechul’s room. Heechul had always forbid the other members from entering his room when he slept, and nobody ever went against Heechul’s wishes. Henry always wondered why, and tonight, he thought would be a good night to find out. Armed with his digital camera, Henry slowly opened Heechul’s door and walked in. He was a bit surprised that Heechul had it unlocked tonight, to be honest.
It was a little bit dark, but once Henry’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see Heechul sleeping form in his bed. He moved a bit closer, and saw that he was bundled up in his blankets and wearing one of those things that cover your eyes when you sleep and it was decorated with cat eyes.
Henry really didn’t see what the big deal was. He decided to carefully lift up the blankets, and not disturb Heechul from his deep slumber. Henry was positive that Heechul didn’t sleep naked, so he wasn’t that scared of being scarred for life.
Once, Henry lifted the blankets up, he still couldn’t figure out what the big deal was.
Heechul moaned something in his sleep and began moving.
Henry widened his eyes and tried not to breathe, but thankfully, Heechul stayed asleep.
Just as Henry was about to leave and consider this a failure, he noticed something on Heechul. He moved a bit closer, and a huge smile appeared on his face. He took out his camera and took a picture of the sleeping Heechul.
As Henry left, he couldn’t help but grin.
Payback was a bitch.
----
Heechul yawned while walking down the hallway towards the other Super Junior dorm. There was, absolutely, no food in his and he didn’t exactly feel like walking in a convenience store and be molested by 3 twelve year old girls.
He and the other members had buried the hatchet and had called a truce. The other members would always take a picture with him whenever he wanted, and he wouldn’t post up any embarrassing photos. A few good things actually came out of the photos. Kangin was offered a 5 episode cooking show which could become ten if the ratings were high enough. Donghae was offered a modeling contract with LALA Underwear because of his incredibly broad and white chest. Eeteuk was asked to become the spokesperson for the wax that he used in the video. A makeup company asked Ryeowook to become a part time beautician because they were impressed with some of the skills he showed on the video. Finally, Henry was personally invited by the members to a Big Bang performance on Music Core.
If anything, the members should be thanking him for taking those embarrassing pictures and videos.
He walked into the dorm without knocking and noticed that all of Super Junior and Henry were crowded around the computer.
“What are you looking at?” Heechul asked in a curious voice.
Donghae turned to look at him with a weary expression. “Hyung, this is a little weird.”
“Yeah, I don’t know whether to be flattered or a bit offended,” Kyuhyun said, as Heechul made his way towards the computer.
The members moved away so that Heechul could see the screen.
On the screen was a sleeping Heechul laying on his front with the back of his boxers showing. That wasn’t disturbing, but what was disturbing was the fact that he had a picture of Donghae and Kyuhyun, each, plastered on the right and left butt cheek of his boxers. The caption underneath the photo was: Flash Your KyuHae!.
Heechul’s eyes widened and turned to look at all the members with accusing looks.
“Or, maybe I should be a bit scared?” Donghae said to himself.
“It’s definitely a bit disturbing that you have me and Donghae’s face on your butt cheeks,” Kyuhyun told Heechul.
“Do you have all of us on your boxers?” Eunhyuk asked, almost afraid of the answer. “Do you like the more popular pairings, like Kangteuk and Yehwook? Or do you like the more obscure ones?”
“Aish, a fan sent them to me! They’re my only pair!” Heechul explained, although it really didn’t sound convincing. Heechul continued to look at every one of the members. “Now which one of you went in my room?”
The rest of the members looked at Heechul innocently, all except for one. Henry started to back away slowly, but Heechul noticed.
“HENRY!” Heechul screeched.
Henry made a dash for one of the bedroom and closed and locked the door, just barely slipping out of Heechul’s grasp.
“COME OUT HERE, NOW! YOU ARE SO DEAD!”
-----
“Don’t worry, Henry, he’s been locked up in his room since yesterday,” Eeteuk said from behind the door.
There was a pause and a bit of shuffling. Henry opened the door by a mere 5 cm and gave Eeteuk a suspicious look. “Are you sure?”
Eeteuk nodded. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat,” he said and dragged Henry out of the room he had been caged in for the past 12 hours.
“You’re sure he’s not out here? Because you know he’s good at being all stealth and ninja like,” Henry said, glancing in every direction, just to make sure Heechul wouldn’t pop out and kill him.
“Don’t worry! He’s at his dorm and half of the members are over there guarding him, just in case he does something stupid,” Eeteuk reassured him, as they walked into the kitchen area.
“Ah, Henry-sshi! Come and have some food!” Ryeowook said, as he got up from his spot and motioning for Henry to sit in it. Ryeowook may had been appreciative of the his new part time gig, but he was still upset that the world knew his super secret tip about applying mascara.
Henry hesitantly walked over to the table, and checked underneath the table to make sure Heechul wasn’t hiding underneath.
“Henry! It’s okay, he’s not here,” Donghae reassured him. “Aigoo, you’re so paranoid.”
Before Henry could retaliate, the phone’s loud ring interrupted.
“Yobsayo? What? No? Seriously? Okay, we’ll leave now,” Eeteuk ended the conversation quickly and turned to the boys. “We have to get to Heechul, now.”
“Why? Is he in trouble?” Eunhyuk asked, worriedly.
“No, something stupid, apparently, Sungmin didn’t have time to explain,” Eeteuk said. “We all have to go now.”
“Urm, should I go? I mean, I kinda value my life, you know,” Henry said, tentatively.
“Don’t worry, we’ll protect you, get your jacket,” Eeteuk said.
Henry made a face and wondered if Eeteuk actually wanted Henry to die a slow and painful death by the hands of Kim Heechul.
-----
“Yep! Get me at least 100 pairs of the KyuHae in red, and 200 of KyuMin is the black, okay?”
All of Super Junior and Henry (way behind them) surrounded Heechul as he was madly typing on the computer with a phone in his ear.
“What’s he doing?” Kyuhyun whispered to Sungmin. “And why does he want 200 of us in black?”
“Yeah! The KyuMins are the most popular, right now! Kangteuk is a close second, so we may want to extend those into XXL and XXS, as well, you gotta give the fangirls what they want JaeHa!” Heechul yelled into the phone. “According to the online polls, we should start a Henry line, too!”
“He’s started a side project,” Sungmin whispered back.
“Okay! Get them to me, soon! Bye!” Heechul hung up and turned to look at the 13 boys surrounding him. “Oh, hello.”
“Hyung, what are you doing?” Eunhyuk asked in genuine wonder.
“Oh, I’m putting the whole KyuHae boxer thing to my advantage,” Heechul said, adjusting his glasses. “I tracked down the fan, Jaeha, that sent me these boxers, and now we’re in business.”
Everyone gaped at Heechul.
“Yep! You’re all going to be on the butt cheek of every single fangirl and fanboy in the world,” Heechul said happily, “and if we’re really successful, we’re thinking of extending it to bras, as well.”
Silence.
“And, it’s all thanks to you, Henry!” Heechul said, as he eyed him from behind everyone. “Just think, everyone is going to be flashing their KyuHae, KyuMin, KangTeuk, etc.”
All of the members turned to give Henry a not-so-nice look.
Henry really didn’t think he could outrun 12 boys, but he thought he could try.
As Heechul watched all the members chase after Henry, he cried out, “WATCH OUT FOR YOUR KYUHAE, HENRY!”
Payback was a bitch, and its name was Kim Heechul.
-----------------------
A/N: This was inspired by this random post I came across. I have absolutely no idea where, but it actually showed KyuHae boxers + a bra with Teukie’s face. If anyone knows where it is, drop me a line. Anyways, this came from a night class (Comp Sci - blargh) with thenummyone, and FLASH YOUR KYUHAE randomly came up. Oh, the ideas you come up with in a boring class.
Rating: PG13
Category: Crack is your friend/Humor
Characters: Super Junior and Henry (no pairings)
Summary: Heechul loves the camera, a little bit too much.
Heechul loved the camera and everybody knew it. He was a bit saddened that the rest of Super Junior didn’t share his view. Sure, they were all self proclaimed cam whores, but they didn’t carry a Sony 8.1 megapixel digital camera everywhere they went nor did they take pictures of themselves every chance they got.
Lately, whenever Heechul would pop up beside a member and hold the camera in front of them, they would shield their faces and walk in the opposite direction.
This would not do, at all, for Heechul.
Normally, Heechul wouldn’t lower himself to things like this because he was honest, caring, lov-okay, let’s stop the lying. Heechul could be very scheming, manipulative and sneaky, and this was one of those times.
It was a normal day in the Super Junior household, well no, not really. Normal would have been lots of screaming, running around, talking, and the random strip dance from Donghae. Today was oddly quiet. Most of the members didn’t have a schedule today and they were left to do whatever they wanted.
Armed with his super sleek, thin, hot pink Sony camera, safely tucked inside a pocket, he walked into the dorm where most of the members lived in.
A few of the members yelled out, “Hi Heechul-hyung” from the living room, and then resumed their video games.
Heechul couldn’t help but think that he was in a group with boring members. They had the day off and they were playing video games. He shook his head, and decided to check the bedrooms and if there were any interesting activities happening, but he highly doubted it. His hot pink camera was going to go to waste today. Saddening.
As he neared one room, he could hear Big Bang’s Last Farewell being played and some not so great singing. Heechul couldn’t help but think that the studio must have done one hell of a job to cover up one of his member’s singing, because it was bad.
“I don’t wanna be without you girl, majimak insaneun jeobeodugil barae.”
Heechul cracked open the door, just enough to see who it was. The music blared through the crack, and Heechul almost died of laughter.
“”Baby baby baby jogeum eosaekhajiman seoro.”
There, actually doing the moves to the song and singing, was Henry Lau the violin boy.
“Baby baby baby ajik saranghago inneunde.”
Heechul noticed that he wasn’t that bad, and was actually in sync with everything. That is the dancing was good. The singing? Not so much.
“Baby baby baby duryeopgineun hajimanseodo.”
His Korean had greatly improved, too if he could actually sing along to songs even though it was possible that only dogs could hear him at some points.
“Kkeuchiboijiman nan geuraedo only you girl.”
Heechul was biting the insides of his cheeks (hey, they were taught something on Exploring the Human Body) hard to keep himself from laughing out loud. Although, Henry denied it thousands of times, he was the biggest Big Bang fanboy there was. Ever since New Year’s Eve, he had started to accumulate a lot of Big Bang merchandise. His dorm room was scary and looked a lot like a 13 year old Big Bang fangirl’s room. Although, Henry never showed any of the members his newly decorated room, Heechul had his ways. He made a mental note to himself to go back to Henry’s room and take a shot of it.
“I don't wanna be without you girl majimak insaneun jeobeodugil barae.”
Heechul carefully took his camera out of his pocket and turned it on.
This deserved the video option.
----
After closing the door to the room, Heechul completely killed himself laughing. Seriously, Henry the Big Bang fanboy. Okay, the name needed some work, but he was sure that the netizens would find something cute and catchy.
Heechul rewatched the scene on his camera while walking towards what he thought was an empty kitchen. Too engrossed in Henry’s performance of Last Farewell, Heechul didn’t notice that there were three occupants in the kitchen. A sudden BANG alerted his attention. He poke his head into the kitchen and saw Shiwon, Kangin and Yehsung in frilly pink aprons.
Heechul couldn’t help but send a silent thank you to the heavens. He thought that it was going to be a boring night for pictures, but he was so glad that he was wrong. Three of the “manliest” members of Super Junior in pink frilly aprons making cupcakes, willingly, without any cameras (that they knew of) on them. This was too good.
“You’ve never made marshmallow fondant for cupcakes? What’s wrong with you?” Kangin chastised the other members. To Kangin, it seemed like it was a crime that they had never made fondant in their life.
“Do you mean frosting, hyung?” Shiwon asked, as he placed a floured hand on Kangin’s shirt.
“Yah! This shirt is expensive! Can’t be getting flour all over it!” Kangin cried out and shook him off. A disappointed Shiwon pouted.
“I don’t see why we have to wear these pink aprons, they don’t match my hair today, at all,” Yehsung said with a frown but his eyes suddenly grew wide and he grabbed at Kangin’s expensive shirt. “Kangin! Is this a hidden camera? This is very suspicious! We’re wearing pink aprons, and we’re making mini pink cupcakes!”
Kangin pried Yehsung off of him and calmed him down. “Hyung, calm down! It’s Kyuhyun’s birthday soon and since I have no money, I decided to make him cupcakes with special fondant on top.”
“Oh,” Yehsung said, and brushed the flour off of his and Kangin’s shirts. “No matching hats?”
“There’s a pink chef’s hat with Doraemon on it if you want,” Kangin said pointing towards the table.
Yehsung’s eyes lit up and he quickly went over to put it on.
Heechul smiled. This was amazing.
“Hey, shouldn’t it be from all three of us?” Shiwon asked, as he started to play with the fondant on the table.
Kangin slapped Shiwon’s hand away from the fondant. “I’ll think about it.”
Heechul smirked. I’ll think about it in Kangin speak was a no. He would probably end up taking all the credit for the pink cupcakes.
“Okay, I thought that I could make some pink flowers, and Yehsung, you can make the hearts, and Shiwon you can make the ribbons,” Kangin instructed. He then broke off a piece of the fondant and began demonstrating how to make perfect flowers and hearts.
Heechul took out his camera again.
This, too, deserved the video option.
Heechul had to admit that Kangin was a pretty good teacher. When Super Junior disbanded, he should consider having his own cooking show, while wearing the pink apron and matching Doraemon hat. It’d be a hit.
“Right, so now you two try it,” Kangin said to his pupils.
Surprisingly, they made some pretty ribbons, flowers and hearts. They stuck them on top of the pink frosted cupcakes and stood back to admire them.
“Ah, I’m so proud of you both,” Kangin said, as he placed an arm around each of them.
Shiwon beamed while Yehsung shrugged Kangin off.
From the doorway, Heechul took a close up picture of their creations.
Thank god for the no flash option.
----
Heechul quietly tip toed out to the living room, and hid behind an overly large plant that they had in the dorm for decoration. In the middle of the room were Kyuhyun, Sungmin, Eunhyuk and Donghae. Donghae was passed out on the couch and only had on boxers and a half buttoned shirt. Heechul assumed that he had just done his random strip dance for the day. If he was really cruel, he would take a picture of Donghae, right now.
Donghae must’ve been a bit disappointed that Kibum wasn’t there to see the show, though.
“Aish, I lost again,” Eunhyuk threw the game controller down onto the floor. “I quit.”
“You sore loser, come back and play the next round!” Kyuhyun called out.
Eunhyuk was playing no mind to Kyuhyun, but rather walked over to the passed out Donghae on the couch. “Aigoo, I hate it when he does this. I don’t see why he couldn’t just drag Kibum into a room instead of trying to strip in the middle of the living room.”
“Don’t you think we should move him? He doesn’t look too good,” Sungmin said, clutching onto one of his stuffed toys. “I can’t believe he passed out while drinking orange juice. Is that even possible?”
“Donghae’s crazy,” Eunhyuk replied. “He probably has some kind of chemical imbalance that makes orange juice act like alcohol for him-and have you noticed that he has a really broad chest?”
”Random, much?” Heechul thought.
Kyuhyun and Sungmin peeked over Eunhyuk’s shoulder and onto Donghae’s chest that was barely concealed by his button up shirt.
“It’s not that broad,” Kyuhyun said, after observing. “I’m sure mine is broader.”
Eunhyuk placed Kyuhyun beside Donghae and observed the two. “No, I think Donghae’s broader.”
“You should just get a measuring tape and measure our chests, then,” Kyuhyun suggested in a teasing manner.
“Ah, good idea! Take off your shirt, Kyu!” Eunhyuk cried out, as he went to search for a measuring tape.
Kyuhyun and Sungmin gave each other strange looks. Were they actually going to measure their chests?
Stranger things have happened in the Super Junior household.
“Yah! Take off your shirt!” Eunhyuk said when he came back with a yellow piece of measuring tape in his hand.
“I have to say I feel a little bit violated with you looking at me like that,” Kyuhyun said, with a glint of suspicion in his eyes.
Eunhyuk waved him off. “Just do it.”
Kyuhyun stripped off his shirt. Sungmin covered his stuffed animal’s eyes. And, Heechul began taking pictures.
“Am I supposed to measure below or above your ..., “ Eunhyuk trailed off.
“I thought you were supposed to measure on them,” Sungmin suggested.
Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun gave each other strange looks.
“Uh, just measure below, and we’ll add an inch or whatever,” Kyuhyun said hastily.
“If we were measuring Yunho’s chest, we’d have to add at least 5 inches,” Sungmin said, sweetly. “To each moob.”
“Okay, put your hands over your head, and I’ll just-stop laughing!”
“I can’t help it! I’m ticklish!” Kyuhyun giggled.
“Well, try not to be,” Eunhyuk said, as he tried to measure Kyuhyun’s chest. “Oh, okay, you’re about 34 inches, which isn’t bad, I guess.”
“Isn’t that a small?” Sungmin asked from his position on the ground, still covering the bunny’s eyes. “Kyuhyun-ah, can you put your shirt back on, Mr. Bunny wants to be able to open his eyes.”
Kyuhyun hastily put his shirt back, relieved to not be under Eunhyuk’s scrutinizing eyes. He ignored Sungmin’s comment about being small and turned towards Donghae. “Okay, let’s measure him.”
Eunhyuk went over and unbuttoned the rest of Donghae’s shirt and laid it open.
“Wow, it’s so white,” Eunhyuk said.
Sungmin and Kyuhyun nodded. “Not a hair in sight, unlike Kangin.”
“He probably shaves it, or waxes,” Kyuhyun suggested.
“Right, I’ll just measure him-Sungmin, what are you doing?” Eunhyuk suddenly asked when Sungmin appeared by Donghae’s side with a pink marker in his hand.
“Just drawing a heart on Donghae’s cheek,” he said, as he drew it. He said it as if it was completely normal to draw on people’s faces when they were passed out.
Eunhyuk shook his head and carefully measured Donghae’s chest. “Okay, his is … wow, 38 inches! I must start drinking orange juice.”
Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. “Okay, let’s measure you!”
Kyuhyun tried to pry the measurement tape out of his hands, but was unsuccessful.
“Nooooo, I don’t enjoy that kind of thing!” Eunhyuk cried out.
“You know, we could measure other things of Donghae’s,” Sungmin said pointing to the rather open and sprawled position of Donghae on the couch.
Heechul was very much so regretting that he didn’t have this on video option. Things looked like it was going to get X-rated, soon.
Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk gave each other surprised looks.
“Yah! Sungmin! We can’t go around measuring people’s private spots just because they’re passed out,” Eunhyuk chastised him. “That would be taking advantage of people!”
Sungmin blinked and then covered the bunny’s ears. “Who said I wanted to do that? I meant I wanted to measure his feet! They’re huge!”
Heechul tried hitting himself from laughing.
“Oh, well then,” Eunhyuk murmured.
Kyuhyun looked at the floor. Eunhyuk looked at the ceiling. Sungmin played with his bunny. Donghae let out a snore. And, Heechul tried pinching himself.
----
Heechul snuck over to the second bedroom, and could still vaguely hear Big Bang’s Lie coming from the room that Henry was in. If he was really mean, he’d go and sneak a peek at the encore presentation, but he had other people to humiliate.
He heard whispering and opened the door just a bit.
“Okay, Ryeowook, this cannot go anywhere,” Kibum’s quiet voice rang through the creak of the door.
Ryeowook nodded and pulled out a small black bag.
Heechul quirked an eyebrow up. Just what exactly were they doing?
“Okay, as long as you don’t tell anyone about this,” Ryeowook said in a very serious tone.
Kibum rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure everyone knows about you, Ryeowook.”
Ryewook scowled at Kibum, and began to take the contents out of the black bag.
Heechul’s eyes widened, and once again, he tried not to burst out laughing.
“Do you think you’re an E20 or E90?” Ryeowook asked, holding up two tubes of concealer.
Everybody and their mother knew that Super Junior wore make up, but no one actually had the entire video of them putting it on from end to start. The fact that it was Kibum putting the makeup on just made it a thousand times better.
“Probably an E20, and do you think that you could lengthen my eyelashes, too?” Kibum asked, as he searched through Ryewook’s bag.
Clearly, searching or even touching Ryeowook’s makeup bag was big fat no-no, because he quickly took it out of Kibum’s hand. “Don’t ever touch the bag,” Ryeowook told Kibum.
Kibum widened his eyes and held up his hands in surrender.
Ryeowook smiled and then said, “Sure, we can use the mascara, don’t worry, it’s not clumpy, at all, and if it is, we can use the eyelash brush.”
Kibum smiled and closed his eyes so that Ryeowook could work on lengthening his lashes.
On the other side of the door, a very excited Heechul was filming the process on the digital camera.
“My T zone has been really oily, lately,” Kibum said, as Ryewook applied the mascara. “Do you think I should start using Aveeno or Lancome for it? I heard both of those cleansers work well.”
Heechul was biting his lip very hard, at the moment.
“Lancome, but Aveeno is good for tightening pores,” Ryewook replied. “You’re looking really pale.”
Kibum suddenly opened his eyes, quickly. “Should we think about blush?”
“Look what you did! You’re not supposed to open your eyes, yet!” Ryeowook cried out, disappointed that Kibum had ruined his masterpiece of mascara.
“Oh, sorry,” and he closed his eyes.
Ryeowook nodded. “You should think about blush, it’s for the best.”
Heechul loved technology.
-----
Heechul walked back up to this dorm room while looking at the pictures of today’s events. He was a bit sad that Eeteuk, Shindong and Hankyung weren’t able to be in it because it would have been nice to have everyone, but what he had would suffice.
He walked into his dorm without even noticing that there already were people in it, more specifically, in the washroom. Someone had just let out a rather high pitched scream from the washroom.
Curious, Heechul walked over to the closed door and opened it a bit. He was becoming pro at the whole ninja-stealth thing.
“I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD HURT THAT MUCH!” Eeteuk’s voice shrieked.
“It IS wax, hyung! It’s not like shaving or plucking,” Hankyung’s soft voice answered.
“Uh, I hope you want to do the other eyebrow, because it looks really bad, right now,” Shindong said slowly, as if he was scared of Eeteuk’s answer.
Heechul, seriously, thought that he must have done something incredibly amazing in his past life to be gifted with this scene. As usual, he whipped out the hot pink camera and began his crusade of humiliation.
“No,” Eeteuk whined, “I don’t want to do it again! It hurt more than having a baby!”
“Right, because we all have experience with having illegitimate love children,” Shindong said sarcastically. “Plus, if you don’t do the other eyebrow, it’ll look really … ugly.”
The washroom was dead quiet.
Ugly.
The one word that Eeteuk never wanted to hear in his life.
“Oh, FINE,” Eeteuk cried out. “Are you sure Ryeowook can’t make it even with his makeup magic?”
Shindong and Hankyung shook their heads gravely.
Eeteuk breathed. “Okay, let’s do it.”
Shindong began mixing the wax so that the texture became consistent, and placed it on Eeteuk’s right eyebrow. Hankyung then took a piece of felt to lie on top of the wax. Just as he was about to pull it off, Eeteuk shot up from his seat.
“Maybe, we can just ask Ryeowook to look at it,” Eeteuk suggested.
The two boys shook their head.
Eeteuk frowned and sat back down. “Okay, but don’t you guys need to do this, too? Didn’t manager hyung tell you to pretty yourselves up? Shindong! You have really hairy legs! Don’t you think you should wax them?”
Again, the two boys shook their heads gravely.
“Okay, just do it,” Eeteuk said, closing his eyes and bracing himself from the pain he was about to endure.
Hankyung looked at Shindong, and Shindong looked at Hankyung. They had to do what was best for Super Junior.
A loud shriek echoed throughout the entire dorm room which Heechul caught; every second of it.
------
“Uh, Kyuhyun, have you seen this yet?” Sungmin asked from the computer, completely in shock at the pictures he was staring at.
“What are you talking about?” Kyuhyun asked, as he walked over with a glass of juice.
“This!” Sungmin pointed at the screen, earnestly.
On the screen was a picture of a topless Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk measuring his chest, but because of the angle, it looked like he was measuring something else. Underneath the picture was the caption: Super Junior’s Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun comparing breast sizes?
“Oh, dear god,” Kyuhyun said slowly, and he continued to scroll down the page.
The next picture was of a passed out Donghae with his shirt completely unbuttoned. Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun and Sungmin surrounded his form and the looks on their faces suggested that they were about do something very inappropriate. The caption read: Super Junior members taking advantage of another member’s poor health?
“Hey, what are you two-WHAT IS THAT?” Donghae cried out, when he saw the image of him on the sofa half naked.
“Uh, yeah, you see, we don’t --” Sungmin tried to explain but was interrupted.
“What is going on in here?” Eunhyuk had come in, and it seemed as if the rest of Super Junior and Henry followed.
“Uh, well I think that -” Kyuhyun began.
“WHAT … is that?” Eunhyuk pointed at the screen.
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, YESTERDAY?” Donghae cried out to Eunhyuk, as he pulled the zipper of his jacket higher. “I feel a bit violated.”
“Heh, it doesn’t stop there,” Sungmin murmured, as he scrolled down.
The next item was a video of Henry flailing around in the dorm room to Last Farewell. The caption read: Henry Lau, sixth member of Big Bang? Below that was a picture of Henry’s fanboy inspired room. Posters of Big Bang covered every inch of the walls, sheets and pillow cases had the the chibi faces of Big Bang, and it seemed like every stationary Henry owned was related to Big Bang. The caption read: Or, not. Henry Lau, the BB fanboy, sounds better.
“URGH! How … when … WHO?” Henry spazzed at the other members.
“I KNEW you were a fanboy!” Shindong cried out. “You should have let me introduce them to you! I’m sure Seungri would have taken a great liking towards you.”
“What the hell were you two doing to Eeteuk?” Eunhyuk asked, as he looked at the next set of pictures.
The pictures showed a very scared Eeteuk sitting on top of the toilet seat with a rather menacing Hankyung and Shindong staring down at him. The caption read: Super Junior’s Shindong and Hankyung torturing band umma? Social services, anyone?. It then showed a picture of Eeteuk’s face with the right eyebrow being ridiculously thin, and the left being normal sized. Right after that was a video that showcased the entire event of the eyebrow wax. The caption said: Super Junior’s 21st century torture techniques: the eyebrow wax.
All of the members turned to look at the eyebrow waxing trio.
Eeteuk shrugged. “Manager hyung told me to! He said getting my eyebrows waxed would make a huge difference!”
The members continued to stare.
“Yah! I thought you said you made those cupcakes on your own, Kangin-hyung!” Kyuhyun said from the computer, relieving the awkward staring at the eyebrow wax trio.
“I did!” Kangin said, clearly offended.
“Well, not according to these photos and video!” Kyuhyun turned the monitor towards Kangin’s direction.
The video showed a very enthusiastic Kangin directing Yehsung and Shiwon how to properly fold fondant. Underneath the video were the pictures of the newly decorated cupcakes with the faces of their creators side by side. The caption read: Super Junior’s new side project: cooking show! In the works.
“You said that you didn’t give the cupcakes to Kyuhyun, yet!” Shiwon cried out.
“Yeah! And you also said that you would let me keep the Doraemon hat!” Yehsung said, equally as mad.
“Heh, guys, let’s not get too violent,” Kangin said, waving his hands in surrender. “You looked really nice, Yehsung! The pink hat brought out the paleness of your face!”
“Speaking of paleness, Kibum, I had no idea,” Hankyung said, now taking over the seat at the computer.
Kibum had been smiling at the other members’ antics, but it quickly turned into a worried look when Hankyung spoke. “What are you talking about?”
Pictures of Kibum and Ryeowook, surrounded by makeup, showed up on the screen. The video’s caption that documented the whole process was: Ryewook, will you do our make up? Kibum, we don’t think you have an oily T-zone, at all, but you should go with Shiseido.
“Breathe, Kibum, breathe,” Sungmin gently patted him on the back when he saw that Kibum had started to hyperventilate.
“Hey, at least you’ll have another career waiting for you, Ryeowook,” Yehsung reassured a shock Ryewook.
“Is that all?” Eunhyuk asked Hankyung. “I mean, who in the world would do this?”
Hankyung nodded when he couldn’t scroll down any more.
Shiwon went to stand beside Hankyung and scrolled through the pictures again. “Hey, how come there aren’t any pictures or videos of you, Heechul-hyung?” he turned to look at Heechul. “You’ve been awfully quiet, too.”
All the members turned to stare at Heechul.
Heechul gave a nervous laugh. “They probably love me, and are all antis of you!”
A few of the members narrowed their eyes at him, clearly not convinced.
“They probably want me to go solo after looking at all the crazy and abnormal things you guys do when cameras aren’t on you,” Heechul laughed again, although it wasn’t very believable again.
“Hyung, did you do this?” Shiwon asked.
“Me? Nooooo!” Heechul replied, slowly backing towards the door.
“Are you sure?” Shiwon asked, as the other members stepped closer to Heechul.
“Of course, I mean, why would I-“ But before Heechul could even finish what he said, he turned around and made a dash for the door with 13 boys running after him.
“OKAY! I DID DO IT!” Heechul cried out, while he ran to his dorm room.
Heechul had made it to his dorm room without getting a single bone broken. His hair may have been a mess, but it was a small price to pay. He could hear the other members banging on his bedroom door with threats.
“HA! YOU SHOULD ALWAYS REMEMBER TO SMILE FOR HEECHUL’S CAMERA!” he shouted back with gleeful laughter.
------
Henry was normally not a manipulative and scheming boy. Au contraire, he was quite the opposite. Back home, he was known for his loving and caring nature, but that had all seemed to have disappeared after Heechul had posted up a video online showing him dancing and singing to Big Bang’s Last Farewell. Sure, he was now invited to Big Bang’s next performance by the members, themselves, but still! There’s a matter of pride!
That was why Henry was awake at 4 am in the morning, and right outside of Heechul’s room. Heechul had always forbid the other members from entering his room when he slept, and nobody ever went against Heechul’s wishes. Henry always wondered why, and tonight, he thought would be a good night to find out. Armed with his digital camera, Henry slowly opened Heechul’s door and walked in. He was a bit surprised that Heechul had it unlocked tonight, to be honest.
It was a little bit dark, but once Henry’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see Heechul sleeping form in his bed. He moved a bit closer, and saw that he was bundled up in his blankets and wearing one of those things that cover your eyes when you sleep and it was decorated with cat eyes.
Henry really didn’t see what the big deal was. He decided to carefully lift up the blankets, and not disturb Heechul from his deep slumber. Henry was positive that Heechul didn’t sleep naked, so he wasn’t that scared of being scarred for life.
Once, Henry lifted the blankets up, he still couldn’t figure out what the big deal was.
Heechul moaned something in his sleep and began moving.
Henry widened his eyes and tried not to breathe, but thankfully, Heechul stayed asleep.
Just as Henry was about to leave and consider this a failure, he noticed something on Heechul. He moved a bit closer, and a huge smile appeared on his face. He took out his camera and took a picture of the sleeping Heechul.
As Henry left, he couldn’t help but grin.
Payback was a bitch.
----
Heechul yawned while walking down the hallway towards the other Super Junior dorm. There was, absolutely, no food in his and he didn’t exactly feel like walking in a convenience store and be molested by 3 twelve year old girls.
He and the other members had buried the hatchet and had called a truce. The other members would always take a picture with him whenever he wanted, and he wouldn’t post up any embarrassing photos. A few good things actually came out of the photos. Kangin was offered a 5 episode cooking show which could become ten if the ratings were high enough. Donghae was offered a modeling contract with LALA Underwear because of his incredibly broad and white chest. Eeteuk was asked to become the spokesperson for the wax that he used in the video. A makeup company asked Ryeowook to become a part time beautician because they were impressed with some of the skills he showed on the video. Finally, Henry was personally invited by the members to a Big Bang performance on Music Core.
If anything, the members should be thanking him for taking those embarrassing pictures and videos.
He walked into the dorm without knocking and noticed that all of Super Junior and Henry were crowded around the computer.
“What are you looking at?” Heechul asked in a curious voice.
Donghae turned to look at him with a weary expression. “Hyung, this is a little weird.”
“Yeah, I don’t know whether to be flattered or a bit offended,” Kyuhyun said, as Heechul made his way towards the computer.
The members moved away so that Heechul could see the screen.
On the screen was a sleeping Heechul laying on his front with the back of his boxers showing. That wasn’t disturbing, but what was disturbing was the fact that he had a picture of Donghae and Kyuhyun, each, plastered on the right and left butt cheek of his boxers. The caption underneath the photo was: Flash Your KyuHae!.
Heechul’s eyes widened and turned to look at all the members with accusing looks.
“Or, maybe I should be a bit scared?” Donghae said to himself.
“It’s definitely a bit disturbing that you have me and Donghae’s face on your butt cheeks,” Kyuhyun told Heechul.
“Do you have all of us on your boxers?” Eunhyuk asked, almost afraid of the answer. “Do you like the more popular pairings, like Kangteuk and Yehwook? Or do you like the more obscure ones?”
“Aish, a fan sent them to me! They’re my only pair!” Heechul explained, although it really didn’t sound convincing. Heechul continued to look at every one of the members. “Now which one of you went in my room?”
The rest of the members looked at Heechul innocently, all except for one. Henry started to back away slowly, but Heechul noticed.
“HENRY!” Heechul screeched.
Henry made a dash for one of the bedroom and closed and locked the door, just barely slipping out of Heechul’s grasp.
“COME OUT HERE, NOW! YOU ARE SO DEAD!”
-----
“Don’t worry, Henry, he’s been locked up in his room since yesterday,” Eeteuk said from behind the door.
There was a pause and a bit of shuffling. Henry opened the door by a mere 5 cm and gave Eeteuk a suspicious look. “Are you sure?”
Eeteuk nodded. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat,” he said and dragged Henry out of the room he had been caged in for the past 12 hours.
“You’re sure he’s not out here? Because you know he’s good at being all stealth and ninja like,” Henry said, glancing in every direction, just to make sure Heechul wouldn’t pop out and kill him.
“Don’t worry! He’s at his dorm and half of the members are over there guarding him, just in case he does something stupid,” Eeteuk reassured him, as they walked into the kitchen area.
“Ah, Henry-sshi! Come and have some food!” Ryeowook said, as he got up from his spot and motioning for Henry to sit in it. Ryeowook may had been appreciative of the his new part time gig, but he was still upset that the world knew his super secret tip about applying mascara.
Henry hesitantly walked over to the table, and checked underneath the table to make sure Heechul wasn’t hiding underneath.
“Henry! It’s okay, he’s not here,” Donghae reassured him. “Aigoo, you’re so paranoid.”
Before Henry could retaliate, the phone’s loud ring interrupted.
“Yobsayo? What? No? Seriously? Okay, we’ll leave now,” Eeteuk ended the conversation quickly and turned to the boys. “We have to get to Heechul, now.”
“Why? Is he in trouble?” Eunhyuk asked, worriedly.
“No, something stupid, apparently, Sungmin didn’t have time to explain,” Eeteuk said. “We all have to go now.”
“Urm, should I go? I mean, I kinda value my life, you know,” Henry said, tentatively.
“Don’t worry, we’ll protect you, get your jacket,” Eeteuk said.
Henry made a face and wondered if Eeteuk actually wanted Henry to die a slow and painful death by the hands of Kim Heechul.
-----
“Yep! Get me at least 100 pairs of the KyuHae in red, and 200 of KyuMin is the black, okay?”
All of Super Junior and Henry (way behind them) surrounded Heechul as he was madly typing on the computer with a phone in his ear.
“What’s he doing?” Kyuhyun whispered to Sungmin. “And why does he want 200 of us in black?”
“Yeah! The KyuMins are the most popular, right now! Kangteuk is a close second, so we may want to extend those into XXL and XXS, as well, you gotta give the fangirls what they want JaeHa!” Heechul yelled into the phone. “According to the online polls, we should start a Henry line, too!”
“He’s started a side project,” Sungmin whispered back.
“Okay! Get them to me, soon! Bye!” Heechul hung up and turned to look at the 13 boys surrounding him. “Oh, hello.”
“Hyung, what are you doing?” Eunhyuk asked in genuine wonder.
“Oh, I’m putting the whole KyuHae boxer thing to my advantage,” Heechul said, adjusting his glasses. “I tracked down the fan, Jaeha, that sent me these boxers, and now we’re in business.”
Everyone gaped at Heechul.
“Yep! You’re all going to be on the butt cheek of every single fangirl and fanboy in the world,” Heechul said happily, “and if we’re really successful, we’re thinking of extending it to bras, as well.”
Silence.
“And, it’s all thanks to you, Henry!” Heechul said, as he eyed him from behind everyone. “Just think, everyone is going to be flashing their KyuHae, KyuMin, KangTeuk, etc.”
All of the members turned to give Henry a not-so-nice look.
Henry really didn’t think he could outrun 12 boys, but he thought he could try.
As Heechul watched all the members chase after Henry, he cried out, “WATCH OUT FOR YOUR KYUHAE, HENRY!”
Payback was a bitch, and its name was Kim Heechul.
-----------------------
A/N: This was inspired by this random post I came across. I have absolutely no idea where, but it actually showed KyuHae boxers + a bra with Teukie’s face. If anyone knows where it is, drop me a line. Anyways, this came from a night class (Comp Sci - blargh) with thenummyone, and FLASH YOUR KYUHAE randomly came up. Oh, the ideas you come up with in a boring class.