Hm... Confused...
Ugh... What do I say? I dunno... I was mad at her... But... I just feel... I don't know... I wish things were easier, I wish... Ugh... I could make them a hell of a lot easier...
I don't understand... Why is she being nice? I was such an asshole... Here is our latest conversation...
PsychoticLove420: I read what you wrote about me.
OvertheEdgeFear: where?
PsychoticLove420: In your live journal
OvertheEdgeFear: I was angry, I am sorry...
OvertheEdgeFear: But...
OvertheEdgeFear: Don't forgive me...
PsychoticLove420: No its ok.
PsychoticLove420: Dont forgive you?
OvertheEdgeFear: No it isn't
PsychoticLove420: Why not
OvertheEdgeFear: Because I am just an idiot who says spontaneous things...
PsychoticLove420: its fine jeremy
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: I was just suprised.
OvertheEdgeFear: About?
PsychoticLove420: everything you wrote.
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, like I said, I am sorry...
PsychoticLove420: it kinda hurt..but i deserved it.
PsychoticLove420: dont be
PsychoticLove420: i deserved it
OvertheEdgeFear: No you didn't
OvertheEdgeFear: You have every right to do whatever you want...
OvertheEdgeFear: Just, you really shouldn't be talking to me... I am just an ashhole
PsychoticLove420: i dont think you are.
OvertheEdgeFear: Why not?
PsychoticLove420: I never did.. And i probably wont ever.
OvertheEdgeFear: Why?
PsychoticLove420: Because.. ur not.
OvertheEdgeFear: Alright...
OvertheEdgeFear: Thanks
PsychoticLove420: And if you are.. i dont see it.
OvertheEdgeFear: I am sorry I hurt you though...
PsychoticLove420: Hey im used to bein hurt. lol its alright though
OvertheEdgeFear: no, it isn't
PsychoticLove420: You wanna hear somethin weird though
PsychoticLove420: When i read it.. I cried.
OvertheEdgeFear: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: I didnt know i made you that mad
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry...
PsychoticLove420: And im sorry
PsychoticLove420: No.. Im sorry
OvertheEdgeFear: Why? You had every right to do what you did... it's all your decision, please... Don't feel bad or sorry, it's my fault
PsychoticLove420: Everytime i seen you today.. I had to look at you
PsychoticLove420: I dont know why
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Is taht a bad thing?
PsychoticLove420: No
PsychoticLove420: Its just.. when i knew you where somewhere.. I looked. .
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: yeah.
OvertheEdgeFear: I would like to know why, but if you don't know...
PsychoticLove420: I like lookin at you
OvertheEdgeFear: ?!
PsychoticLove420: It makes me smile
OvertheEdgeFear: Odd...
PsychoticLove420: Dont ask why
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: But its weird
PsychoticLove420: and when u put on that black hat in lunch..it made me laugh lol
OvertheEdgeFear: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: My wigger hat
OvertheEdgeFear: lol...
OvertheEdgeFear: Sorry...
PsychoticLove420: yeah lol
PsychoticLove420: it was great lol
OvertheEdgeFear: lol
PsychoticLove420: my cousin was like.. what are you lookin at and what are you laughin at..it was funny
OvertheEdgeFear: Who is that?
PsychoticLove420: Charlene
OvertheEdgeFear: Oh
OvertheEdgeFear: She is cool
OvertheEdgeFear: But she hates me lol
PsychoticLove420: Oh.
PsychoticLove420: charlene long?
OvertheEdgeFear: Yeah
PsychoticLove420: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: she was in my chem class last semester
PsychoticLove420: she hates alot of people
PsychoticLove420: So..
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: are we.. cool?
OvertheEdgeFear: If you want... It's your decision
PsychoticLove420: you know i want to be.
PsychoticLove420: i wanna get to know you
PsychoticLove420: I didnt want all this to happen
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry I was stupid about this...
OvertheEdgeFear: I should have understood how you felt..
OvertheEdgeFear: But I was... Wrong, as a lot of times...
PsychoticLove420: i dont even understand how i feel
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: sometimes im so happy about things..then others.. i dont know
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I have a question for you...
OvertheEdgeFear: How did you get to read my LJ?
PsychoticLove420: i was gonna make one.. but i didnt know.. so i typed in ppl's sn i know.. to read theres and i typed in ur sn..and yeah.. i read all that stuff
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Oh...
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: Did you get mad at me at all?
OvertheEdgeFear: And did you read the entire journal
PsychoticLove420: yeah but i was upset more than mad
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: All of the entries?
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: Jees...
OvertheEdgeFear: No one would take the time...
PsychoticLove420: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: Unless...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Maybe you do care...
PsychoticLove420: i never said i didnt.
PsychoticLove420: YOu assumed. lol
OvertheEdgeFear: ... I am sorry about that, I tend to get myself thining someone hates me, so I won't be disappointed after I find out for sute...
OvertheEdgeFear: I start to believe it after a while
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: the bad things is...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: When people show that they care, I can't stop believing what I made myself, so then... I just... Can't beleive anyone... If you know wht I mean at all...
PsychoticLove420: i do.
OvertheEdgeFear: !
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, it is just that I am so confusing all the time that I... You never understand what I say lol
PsychoticLove420: lol
PsychoticLove420: im sorry
PsychoticLove420: im slow sometimes
PsychoticLove420: takes a while to catch on to things
PsychoticLove420: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: nah, I am jsut confusing... No one ever understands me
PsychoticLove420: well i want to.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: ..
PsychoticLove420: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: I don't tend to let people...
PsychoticLove420: thats fine
OvertheEdgeFear: Just another wall I put up so I won't get hurt...
PsychoticLove420: i just wanted you to know.. I want to
OvertheEdgeFear: I've been doing it for years...
PsychoticLove420: I understand
PsychoticLove420: im the same
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: See, a lot in common
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: It scared me when I opened up to you... That day, Wednesday...
PsychoticLove420: oh yea?
OvertheEdgeFear: It made me realize, what I told you on Wednesday online
OvertheEdgeFear: I never do taht, and I never tell my feelings
PsychoticLove420: oh..
OvertheEdgeFear: I just felt comfortable with you...
OvertheEdgeFear: I just don't get myself...
PsychoticLove420: i did too
PsychoticLove420: oh something i wanted you to know..
OvertheEdgeFear: ?
PsychoticLove420: I still wanted to hang out with you last friday..but you seemed so mad at me.. so i didn tknow what to do
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: ..
OvertheEdgeFear: I wanted to hang out with ou Friday, but...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, I was very... Upset
PsychoticLove420: i know
OvertheEdgeFear: I... Something I never did in school, I actually cried before first hour, and I don't know why... I was just so hurt... I feel like a wuss now...
PsychoticLove420: u.. cried?
OvertheEdgeFear: :-(
OvertheEdgeFear: I know
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm a wuss...
PsychoticLove420: because of me?
OvertheEdgeFear: Mainly
OvertheEdgeFear: but, other things leading up to it
PsychoticLove420: honey i am soo sorry i hurt you
PsychoticLove420: i really am.
OvertheEdgeFear: Don't be
PsychoticLove420: its just.. if i thought me and josh were back together.. i would alright.
OvertheEdgeFear: You made a choice, and I hope it's the right one for you...
PsychoticLove420: But.. it was ..until today.
OvertheEdgeFear: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: what happened?
PsychoticLove420: Im so stressed out.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Wanna talk about it?
PsychoticLove420: i called him
PsychoticLove420: earlier
OvertheEdgeFear: And...
PsychoticLove420: and we talked and he said he'd call me later
PsychoticLove420: never did.. so i called him and we talked and he told me to call him back at 9:45
PsychoticLove420: So i did..
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: and.. he wouldnt even talk to me
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry...
OvertheEdgeFear: It's probablymy fault..
PsychoticLove420: he answered the phone and was like "Can i call you back? " and i was like ok and hes like ok love you and hung up
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: and i dont know where he is or what hes doin..and he hasnt called me
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry...
PsychoticLove420: dont be
PsychoticLove420: im over it.
PsychoticLove420: and im sorry about him last night
OvertheEdgeFear: It's probably my fault though...
PsychoticLove420: i told him to drop it and he wouldnt
OvertheEdgeFear: it;s fine...
PsychoticLove420: im sorry about that
OvertheEdgeFear: I should have been better about it...
PsychoticLove420: he thought..that everything u were sayin..was going to effect me and i was gonna break up with him
OvertheEdgeFear: Wasn't my intentions...
PsychoticLove420: i kno
OvertheEdgeFear: My intention was to prepare you for what will most likely happen
OvertheEdgeFear: So you won't get hurt as bad this time, and you'll expect it
OvertheEdgeFear: Ugh...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'll stop
PsychoticLove420: ill be bac
PsychoticLove420 is away at 10:34:29 PM.
OvertheEdgeFear: k
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from PsychoticLove420: I cant take this anymore
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PsychoticLove420 returned at 10:35:41 PM.
PsychoticLove420 is away at 10:35:46 PM.
PsychoticLove420 returned at 10:35:49 PM.
PsychoticLove420: back
OvertheEdgeFear: Ok...
PsychoticLove420: k
OvertheEdgeFear: Anyway...
OvertheEdgeFear: Any anger you want to get out on me, do it now lol...
PsychoticLove420: im not mad at you
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I really don't understand why...
OvertheEdgeFear: I feel so bad...
PsychoticLove420: y
OvertheEdgeFear: I just... I shouldn't have said anything...
OvertheEdgeFear: I should have let you alone, to do what you wanted...
PsychoticLove420: its ifne
PsychoticLove420: fine*
OvertheEdgeFear: I don't know what to say...
PsychoticLove420: say..
PsychoticLove420: I'll get over this pain.
PsychoticLove420: I need to.
PsychoticLove420: :-\
OvertheEdgeFear: I hope you do
PsychoticLove420: I have to
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, I am always here for you
OvertheEdgeFear: As a friend, always
PsychoticLove420: I know.. if i get hurt.. You "wont be there to pick up all the broken peices" right?
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, i guess I will...
OvertheEdgeFear: But...
PsychoticLove420: I wont need you too
PsychoticLove420: I wont get hurt
PsychoticLove420: I wont let myself
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: But, what will you do?
PsychoticLove420: Ill stop thinking i will.
PsychoticLove420: Things are fine as of now.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: ok
PsychoticLove420: so anyways
PsychoticLove420: how are you
OvertheEdgeFear: yeah...
OvertheEdgeFear: Uh...
OvertheEdgeFear: I didn't put in my today's comment...
PsychoticLove420: Are you going to
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, at least I have some fand...
OvertheEdgeFear: I always do
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: fans*
OvertheEdgeFear: facebattle.com
PsychoticLove420: wats that
OvertheEdgeFear: I am actually a loser and signed onto it
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: Log on and search for user overtheedge
PsychoticLove420: on facebattle.com?
OvertheEdgeFear: yeah
PsychoticLove420: it says the user does not exsist
OvertheEdgeFear: Huh...
OvertheEdgeFear: overtheedge
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: No fear
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm... So... Hideous...
PsychoticLove420: no ur not
OvertheEdgeFear: Ugh...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: It won't change what you say lol
OvertheEdgeFear: I need better pics...
PsychoticLove420: lol
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: You at my site?
OvertheEdgeFear: Er..
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: My profile...
OvertheEdgeFear: So happy, huh?
OvertheEdgeFear: (My pic)
PsychoticLove420: where is it
OvertheEdgeFear: Uh...
OvertheEdgeFear: there are 4
PsychoticLove420: oh
PsychoticLove420: i see it nvm
OvertheEdgeFear: lol
PsychoticLove420: :'(
OvertheEdgeFear: ?
PsychoticLove420: he called.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: What did he say...?
PsychoticLove420: now hes been drinking alot lately
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Oh god.. Anotehr one...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Nevermind
PsychoticLove420: what were u gonna say
OvertheEdgeFear: I wasn't gonna say anything
OvertheEdgeFear: Just...
PsychoticLove420: ..?
OvertheEdgeFear: Look, I am not getting involved anymore
PsychoticLove420: ok
OvertheEdgeFear: I am going to respect you, and your decisions, and your privace
OvertheEdgeFear: privacy*
PsychoticLove420: ok
PsychoticLove420 is away at 10:54:39 PM.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from PsychoticLove420: Crying...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OvertheEdgeFear: I am sorry about everything...
OvertheEdgeFear: I can't help but think this is my fault...
PsychoticLove420 returned at 10:56:41 PM.
PsychoticLove420: its not u
PsychoticLove420: i hate drinking
PsychoticLove420: my dad drank all the time..then he ditched
PsychoticLove420: me*
PsychoticLove420: i fuckin hate people that drink
OvertheEdgeFear: I also hate drinking...
PsychoticLove420: he knows that
OvertheEdgeFear: Looks like I was right so far...
OvertheEdgeFear: I know this situation, it's happened before... With my ex, then she cheated on me after 11 months of dating
OvertheEdgeFear: It's nothing new to me
PsychoticLove420: oh
PsychoticLove420: well im gonna og
PsychoticLove420: go*
OvertheEdgeFear: Just...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Please, if you need to talk, call me or something...
OvertheEdgeFear: Ok?
PsychoticLove420: i do need to talk but
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: But you aren't permitted to talk to me, right?
PsychoticLove420: i dont want to go on about this shit thtat shouldnt even matter
OvertheEdgeFear: It does matter, because I care about you, and if you are hurt, then it bothers and hurts me...
PsychoticLove420: im soryr
OvertheEdgeFear: Yeah...
OvertheEdgeFear: Alright...
OvertheEdgeFear: Feel better
OvertheEdgeFear: Goodnight
PsychoticLove420: thanks.
PsychoticLove420: night honey.. thanks for everything :-)it really means alot to me
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, I honestly mean what I say...
PsychoticLove420: i know hun
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Please...
OvertheEdgeFear: No "hun"
PsychoticLove420: um..?
PsychoticLove420: ok
PsychoticLove420: sorry..?
OvertheEdgeFear: It's ok...
PsychoticLove420: um yeah
PsychoticLove420: im gonna go
PsychoticLove420: bye
OvertheEdgeFear: goodnight...
PsychoticLove420 is away at 11:01:47 PM.
PsychoticLove420 signed off at 11:01:50 PM
I dunno, I just... I tried to stop caring but... I can't stop caring about her...
God I hate myself, I hate being me... Wish I could... Fade away...
Today was hell. After school, I went to the mall with Melissa. I was putting shit in my car, and she was walking towards the mall. So, I ran to catch up, and my shoe got caught in my pants, and I tripped, and tore my arm all to hell... Kinda hurt, but I am pissed 'cause my white shirt is now bloodstained... Oh well, it'll come out.
I came home... And did nothing... Just... Another day...
I don't understand... Why is she being nice? I was such an asshole... Here is our latest conversation...
PsychoticLove420: I read what you wrote about me.
OvertheEdgeFear: where?
PsychoticLove420: In your live journal
OvertheEdgeFear: I was angry, I am sorry...
OvertheEdgeFear: But...
OvertheEdgeFear: Don't forgive me...
PsychoticLove420: No its ok.
PsychoticLove420: Dont forgive you?
OvertheEdgeFear: No it isn't
PsychoticLove420: Why not
OvertheEdgeFear: Because I am just an idiot who says spontaneous things...
PsychoticLove420: its fine jeremy
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: I was just suprised.
OvertheEdgeFear: About?
PsychoticLove420: everything you wrote.
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, like I said, I am sorry...
PsychoticLove420: it kinda hurt..but i deserved it.
PsychoticLove420: dont be
PsychoticLove420: i deserved it
OvertheEdgeFear: No you didn't
OvertheEdgeFear: You have every right to do whatever you want...
OvertheEdgeFear: Just, you really shouldn't be talking to me... I am just an ashhole
PsychoticLove420: i dont think you are.
OvertheEdgeFear: Why not?
PsychoticLove420: I never did.. And i probably wont ever.
OvertheEdgeFear: Why?
PsychoticLove420: Because.. ur not.
OvertheEdgeFear: Alright...
OvertheEdgeFear: Thanks
PsychoticLove420: And if you are.. i dont see it.
OvertheEdgeFear: I am sorry I hurt you though...
PsychoticLove420: Hey im used to bein hurt. lol its alright though
OvertheEdgeFear: no, it isn't
PsychoticLove420: You wanna hear somethin weird though
PsychoticLove420: When i read it.. I cried.
OvertheEdgeFear: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: I didnt know i made you that mad
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry...
PsychoticLove420: And im sorry
PsychoticLove420: No.. Im sorry
OvertheEdgeFear: Why? You had every right to do what you did... it's all your decision, please... Don't feel bad or sorry, it's my fault
PsychoticLove420: Everytime i seen you today.. I had to look at you
PsychoticLove420: I dont know why
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Is taht a bad thing?
PsychoticLove420: No
PsychoticLove420: Its just.. when i knew you where somewhere.. I looked. .
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: yeah.
OvertheEdgeFear: I would like to know why, but if you don't know...
PsychoticLove420: I like lookin at you
OvertheEdgeFear: ?!
PsychoticLove420: It makes me smile
OvertheEdgeFear: Odd...
PsychoticLove420: Dont ask why
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: But its weird
PsychoticLove420: and when u put on that black hat in lunch..it made me laugh lol
OvertheEdgeFear: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: My wigger hat
OvertheEdgeFear: lol...
OvertheEdgeFear: Sorry...
PsychoticLove420: yeah lol
PsychoticLove420: it was great lol
OvertheEdgeFear: lol
PsychoticLove420: my cousin was like.. what are you lookin at and what are you laughin at..it was funny
OvertheEdgeFear: Who is that?
PsychoticLove420: Charlene
OvertheEdgeFear: Oh
OvertheEdgeFear: She is cool
OvertheEdgeFear: But she hates me lol
PsychoticLove420: Oh.
PsychoticLove420: charlene long?
OvertheEdgeFear: Yeah
PsychoticLove420: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: she was in my chem class last semester
PsychoticLove420: she hates alot of people
PsychoticLove420: So..
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: are we.. cool?
OvertheEdgeFear: If you want... It's your decision
PsychoticLove420: you know i want to be.
PsychoticLove420: i wanna get to know you
PsychoticLove420: I didnt want all this to happen
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry I was stupid about this...
OvertheEdgeFear: I should have understood how you felt..
OvertheEdgeFear: But I was... Wrong, as a lot of times...
PsychoticLove420: i dont even understand how i feel
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: sometimes im so happy about things..then others.. i dont know
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I have a question for you...
OvertheEdgeFear: How did you get to read my LJ?
PsychoticLove420: i was gonna make one.. but i didnt know.. so i typed in ppl's sn i know.. to read theres and i typed in ur sn..and yeah.. i read all that stuff
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Oh...
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: Did you get mad at me at all?
OvertheEdgeFear: And did you read the entire journal
PsychoticLove420: yeah but i was upset more than mad
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: All of the entries?
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: Jees...
OvertheEdgeFear: No one would take the time...
PsychoticLove420: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: Unless...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Maybe you do care...
PsychoticLove420: i never said i didnt.
PsychoticLove420: YOu assumed. lol
OvertheEdgeFear: ... I am sorry about that, I tend to get myself thining someone hates me, so I won't be disappointed after I find out for sute...
OvertheEdgeFear: I start to believe it after a while
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: the bad things is...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: When people show that they care, I can't stop believing what I made myself, so then... I just... Can't beleive anyone... If you know wht I mean at all...
PsychoticLove420: i do.
OvertheEdgeFear: !
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, it is just that I am so confusing all the time that I... You never understand what I say lol
PsychoticLove420: lol
PsychoticLove420: im sorry
PsychoticLove420: im slow sometimes
PsychoticLove420: takes a while to catch on to things
PsychoticLove420: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: nah, I am jsut confusing... No one ever understands me
PsychoticLove420: well i want to.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: ..
PsychoticLove420: lol
OvertheEdgeFear: I don't tend to let people...
PsychoticLove420: thats fine
OvertheEdgeFear: Just another wall I put up so I won't get hurt...
PsychoticLove420: i just wanted you to know.. I want to
OvertheEdgeFear: I've been doing it for years...
PsychoticLove420: I understand
PsychoticLove420: im the same
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: See, a lot in common
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: It scared me when I opened up to you... That day, Wednesday...
PsychoticLove420: oh yea?
OvertheEdgeFear: It made me realize, what I told you on Wednesday online
OvertheEdgeFear: I never do taht, and I never tell my feelings
PsychoticLove420: oh..
OvertheEdgeFear: I just felt comfortable with you...
OvertheEdgeFear: I just don't get myself...
PsychoticLove420: i did too
PsychoticLove420: oh something i wanted you to know..
OvertheEdgeFear: ?
PsychoticLove420: I still wanted to hang out with you last friday..but you seemed so mad at me.. so i didn tknow what to do
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: ..
OvertheEdgeFear: I wanted to hang out with ou Friday, but...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, I was very... Upset
PsychoticLove420: i know
OvertheEdgeFear: I... Something I never did in school, I actually cried before first hour, and I don't know why... I was just so hurt... I feel like a wuss now...
PsychoticLove420: u.. cried?
OvertheEdgeFear: :-(
OvertheEdgeFear: I know
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm a wuss...
PsychoticLove420: because of me?
OvertheEdgeFear: Mainly
OvertheEdgeFear: but, other things leading up to it
PsychoticLove420: honey i am soo sorry i hurt you
PsychoticLove420: i really am.
OvertheEdgeFear: Don't be
PsychoticLove420: its just.. if i thought me and josh were back together.. i would alright.
OvertheEdgeFear: You made a choice, and I hope it's the right one for you...
PsychoticLove420: But.. it was ..until today.
OvertheEdgeFear: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: what happened?
PsychoticLove420: Im so stressed out.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Wanna talk about it?
PsychoticLove420: i called him
PsychoticLove420: earlier
OvertheEdgeFear: And...
PsychoticLove420: and we talked and he said he'd call me later
PsychoticLove420: never did.. so i called him and we talked and he told me to call him back at 9:45
PsychoticLove420: So i did..
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: and.. he wouldnt even talk to me
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry...
OvertheEdgeFear: It's probablymy fault..
PsychoticLove420: he answered the phone and was like "Can i call you back? " and i was like ok and hes like ok love you and hung up
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: and i dont know where he is or what hes doin..and he hasnt called me
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry...
PsychoticLove420: dont be
PsychoticLove420: im over it.
PsychoticLove420: and im sorry about him last night
OvertheEdgeFear: It's probably my fault though...
PsychoticLove420: i told him to drop it and he wouldnt
OvertheEdgeFear: it;s fine...
PsychoticLove420: im sorry about that
OvertheEdgeFear: I should have been better about it...
PsychoticLove420: he thought..that everything u were sayin..was going to effect me and i was gonna break up with him
OvertheEdgeFear: Wasn't my intentions...
PsychoticLove420: i kno
OvertheEdgeFear: My intention was to prepare you for what will most likely happen
OvertheEdgeFear: So you won't get hurt as bad this time, and you'll expect it
OvertheEdgeFear: Ugh...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm sorry...
OvertheEdgeFear: I'll stop
PsychoticLove420: ill be bac
PsychoticLove420 is away at 10:34:29 PM.
OvertheEdgeFear: k
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from PsychoticLove420: I cant take this anymore
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PsychoticLove420 returned at 10:35:41 PM.
PsychoticLove420 is away at 10:35:46 PM.
PsychoticLove420 returned at 10:35:49 PM.
PsychoticLove420: back
OvertheEdgeFear: Ok...
PsychoticLove420: k
OvertheEdgeFear: Anyway...
OvertheEdgeFear: Any anger you want to get out on me, do it now lol...
PsychoticLove420: im not mad at you
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: I really don't understand why...
OvertheEdgeFear: I feel so bad...
PsychoticLove420: y
OvertheEdgeFear: I just... I shouldn't have said anything...
OvertheEdgeFear: I should have let you alone, to do what you wanted...
PsychoticLove420: its ifne
PsychoticLove420: fine*
OvertheEdgeFear: I don't know what to say...
PsychoticLove420: say..
PsychoticLove420: I'll get over this pain.
PsychoticLove420: I need to.
PsychoticLove420: :-\
OvertheEdgeFear: I hope you do
PsychoticLove420: I have to
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, I am always here for you
OvertheEdgeFear: As a friend, always
PsychoticLove420: I know.. if i get hurt.. You "wont be there to pick up all the broken peices" right?
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, i guess I will...
OvertheEdgeFear: But...
PsychoticLove420: I wont need you too
PsychoticLove420: I wont get hurt
PsychoticLove420: I wont let myself
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: But, what will you do?
PsychoticLove420: Ill stop thinking i will.
PsychoticLove420: Things are fine as of now.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
PsychoticLove420: ok
PsychoticLove420: so anyways
PsychoticLove420: how are you
OvertheEdgeFear: yeah...
OvertheEdgeFear: Uh...
OvertheEdgeFear: I didn't put in my today's comment...
PsychoticLove420: Are you going to
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, at least I have some fand...
OvertheEdgeFear: I always do
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: fans*
OvertheEdgeFear: facebattle.com
PsychoticLove420: wats that
OvertheEdgeFear: I am actually a loser and signed onto it
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: Log on and search for user overtheedge
PsychoticLove420: on facebattle.com?
OvertheEdgeFear: yeah
PsychoticLove420: it says the user does not exsist
OvertheEdgeFear: Huh...
OvertheEdgeFear: overtheedge
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: No fear
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: I'm... So... Hideous...
PsychoticLove420: no ur not
OvertheEdgeFear: Ugh...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: It won't change what you say lol
OvertheEdgeFear: I need better pics...
PsychoticLove420: lol
PsychoticLove420: oh
OvertheEdgeFear: You at my site?
OvertheEdgeFear: Er..
PsychoticLove420: yeah
OvertheEdgeFear: My profile...
OvertheEdgeFear: So happy, huh?
OvertheEdgeFear: (My pic)
PsychoticLove420: where is it
OvertheEdgeFear: Uh...
OvertheEdgeFear: there are 4
PsychoticLove420: oh
PsychoticLove420: i see it nvm
OvertheEdgeFear: lol
PsychoticLove420: :'(
OvertheEdgeFear: ?
PsychoticLove420: he called.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: What did he say...?
PsychoticLove420: now hes been drinking alot lately
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Oh god.. Anotehr one...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Nevermind
PsychoticLove420: what were u gonna say
OvertheEdgeFear: I wasn't gonna say anything
OvertheEdgeFear: Just...
PsychoticLove420: ..?
OvertheEdgeFear: Look, I am not getting involved anymore
PsychoticLove420: ok
OvertheEdgeFear: I am going to respect you, and your decisions, and your privace
OvertheEdgeFear: privacy*
PsychoticLove420: ok
PsychoticLove420 is away at 10:54:39 PM.
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from PsychoticLove420: Crying...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OvertheEdgeFear: I am sorry about everything...
OvertheEdgeFear: I can't help but think this is my fault...
PsychoticLove420 returned at 10:56:41 PM.
PsychoticLove420: its not u
PsychoticLove420: i hate drinking
PsychoticLove420: my dad drank all the time..then he ditched
PsychoticLove420: me*
PsychoticLove420: i fuckin hate people that drink
OvertheEdgeFear: I also hate drinking...
PsychoticLove420: he knows that
OvertheEdgeFear: Looks like I was right so far...
OvertheEdgeFear: I know this situation, it's happened before... With my ex, then she cheated on me after 11 months of dating
OvertheEdgeFear: It's nothing new to me
PsychoticLove420: oh
PsychoticLove420: well im gonna og
PsychoticLove420: go*
OvertheEdgeFear: Just...
PsychoticLove420: ?
OvertheEdgeFear: Please, if you need to talk, call me or something...
OvertheEdgeFear: Ok?
PsychoticLove420: i do need to talk but
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: But you aren't permitted to talk to me, right?
PsychoticLove420: i dont want to go on about this shit thtat shouldnt even matter
OvertheEdgeFear: It does matter, because I care about you, and if you are hurt, then it bothers and hurts me...
PsychoticLove420: im soryr
OvertheEdgeFear: Yeah...
OvertheEdgeFear: Alright...
OvertheEdgeFear: Feel better
OvertheEdgeFear: Goodnight
PsychoticLove420: thanks.
PsychoticLove420: night honey.. thanks for everything :-)it really means alot to me
OvertheEdgeFear: Well, I honestly mean what I say...
PsychoticLove420: i know hun
OvertheEdgeFear: ...
OvertheEdgeFear: Please...
OvertheEdgeFear: No "hun"
PsychoticLove420: um..?
PsychoticLove420: ok
PsychoticLove420: sorry..?
OvertheEdgeFear: It's ok...
PsychoticLove420: um yeah
PsychoticLove420: im gonna go
PsychoticLove420: bye
OvertheEdgeFear: goodnight...
PsychoticLove420 is away at 11:01:47 PM.
PsychoticLove420 signed off at 11:01:50 PM
I dunno, I just... I tried to stop caring but... I can't stop caring about her...
God I hate myself, I hate being me... Wish I could... Fade away...
Today was hell. After school, I went to the mall with Melissa. I was putting shit in my car, and she was walking towards the mall. So, I ran to catch up, and my shoe got caught in my pants, and I tripped, and tore my arm all to hell... Kinda hurt, but I am pissed 'cause my white shirt is now bloodstained... Oh well, it'll come out.
I came home... And did nothing... Just... Another day...