Comments | oviparous: When women don't want kids (sort of Part 2)

oviparous

When women don't want kids (sort of Part 2)

Nov 07, 2016 16:35

I posted about being broken a couple days ago, i.e. I don't desire to have kids, and in a response to the lovely Rikke's thought-provoking comment I said it's basically my business whether or not I have kids, and (I'm a Christian) choosing not to have them at this point isn't because of sinful or selfish reasons ( Read more... )

faith

Comments 15

jade_lil November 7 2016, 08:17:44 UTC

Is it weird that I don't want them also?

I had a miscarriage too, back in 2010, a year before my ex went to work in another country and married someone else (which, may I tell you, I only found out in FB where they posted the pictures) and it was... it was horrible. I think I hadn't able to move on from it, at least not after a few years? It still hurts but I guess that's how it is. I guess my baby knew it wasn't going to work out between me and his father so, there.

I love kids but I don't imagine having my own. I haven't had a relationship since I broke up with that cheating ex and I don't see myself being in a relationship in the near future. I don't know. It's just that I'm okay on my own now?

Anyway, sorry for blabbering. I'm trying not to inhale all the fumes but it's not working :'(

oviparous November 12 2016, 17:01:31 UTC

dude. first off, i'm really sorry you had to go through that. really, really sorry.

i don't think it's weird that you don't want them also. and even if it is, all the fecks we give should be ZERO (News Zero jingle). anyway, we can be weird together? if you'll have me?

i think okay is good. i always remind myself that we can't be happy all the time. Happy is an ideal. we don't have to have that all the time. we don't have to settle for okay; okay is a great place to be. so yes! you're okay on your own? GO YOU.

no apologies, i really don't think it's blabber but if you do then i'm perfectly fine with you thinking so, and you can blabber all you want, this is your blabber space. haha.

...what fumes omg. is it your workplace? is it hazardous? do you secretly work on the production team of Aiba Manabu?

i hope you have a great weekend, love.

jade_lil November 12 2016, 17:11:31 UTC

we're on at the same time? WOW.

I live in Dubai and it's 9pm here and I'm about to pump myself with prescription medicines but that can wait. Anyway, my life was a complete mess, still is, but I guess I'm better at letting things pass? Not sure. There are times when I feel like I just want things to be over, times when I don't give a damn. I don't know. It's complicated.

My workplace is shit. I've been meaning to leave it and I swear I will, next year. Ugh, I'm blabbering again, sorry.

Anyway, hugs? I spent half of today in the hospital and I hated it. I hope I don't have to go back.

mwah!

oviparous November 12 2016, 17:45:36 UTC

just popping back in here to say - IT'S 2:45 AM AND I'M UP REPLYING LJ COMMENTS HAAAIIIIIII ♥

rikke_leonhart November 7 2016, 10:08:14 UTC

I love you <3

I know I can't heal stupid
PREACH, DARLING

I'm an atheist - I have control issues like whoa and the thought of ceding control to a divine being is beyond me, but I can understand the want and the serenity of having the security of faith, and I envy it. A few months ago I was going through a really shitty period (my then crook of a doctor diagnosed me with depression without having spoken to me properly - my newly assigned psychiatrist disagreed), but getting through that (in large part to getting my current work position) was like a breath of fresh air, the first crisp Spring day, the first morning light after a long winter. I'm so happy you got through that.

I feel compelled to bring out one of my most charming books, one of the dearest thing I own, and it's called "God explained in taxi ride" and I don't believe in it, but I value it all the same. There is especially one page in the book that I've taken to heart:
"How can you have blind faith in something for which there is not a scrap of evidence ( ... )

rikke_leonhart November 7 2016, 10:13:54 UTC

Fuck it, just a new comment to say that I adore your Ohno icon UGH WHY IS HE SO PRETTY)

<3<3<3

i_am_zan November 7 2016, 10:22:34 UTC

I love you both and ... yes Ohno is so damned pretty!
*HUGSQUISH* - both of you!

i_am_zan November 7 2016, 10:31:05 UTC

... and uh I know I cheat by not really properly commenting but ... everything you both say resonates with me ... before I met up with hubby I was in a pretty destructive relationship and that could have gone so, so badly.

I want to say - and this is nothing to do with anything except personal growth, that easy as it is for someone else to say 'why don't they just walk away' - it is damned hard to walk away from something self destructive, because you're caught in some kind of whirlpool sucking you into an abyss. It takes effort and strength. Sometimes it takes a while to build up that strength, to find it and the reality also is that sometimes people don't want to try, or can't for whatever reason.

But I'm glad I did. ... and hubby is ever so patient with me all the time.

Personal growth is about the bumps we hit on the road, or the trucks that hit us - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and makes us into the incredible people we are all today. ... and Yes you two are amazing, all the time. I love you both a lot! *HUGS*

Thread 9

hemisofia November 11 2016, 16:13:06 UTC

I struggled with depression when I was an undergrad, and it had lasting after-effects until my mid 20s. I don't talk about it (then or now) not because it was such an intensely personal struggle that I didn't think I could communicate it fully to others. Like you, I don't know how I got over it. It was definitely a long process, not like an on/off switch. What I know is, realizing I didn't want to ever feel that shitty again was the most important thing that carried me through my recovery. The 2nd thing was knowing (though not necessarily believing) that God wasn't going to leave me alone was the sole consolation I had. I don't know whether that can be called faith or not.

As a result of my experience, I became more spiritual but less religious. That probably makes me a bad Christian but I am more content with my relationship with God than ever before.

oviparous November 12 2016, 17:33:57 UTC

J, thanks for sharing your experience. i'm really sorry you had to go through it, but i'm glad you got through it too.

...was definitely a long process, not like an on/off switch.
...realizing I didn't want to ever feel that shitty again was the most important thing that carried me through my recovery.OH, THIS. so relatable. thanks for spelling it out ( ... )