I Want to Hold Your Hand
Title: I Want to Hold Your Hand
Pairing: Hyukjae/Sungmin
Rating: G/PG
Word count: 200~700
Summary: A set of drabbles in where Hyukjae and Sungmin were holding hands.
Note: Drabbles are totally not related to one another. Inspired by a quote from Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist:
"Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right? That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand."
I
Sungmin stood outside the bus in the sun, leaning against the side, watching people pass by. Okay, maybe he was dozing a little behind his dark sunglasses. He felt a shadow pass over him and opened his eyes to see Hyukjae walking up to him.
"'Sup?" he said.
"Where's everybody?" Hyukjae asked as he leaned up beside Sungmin, making sure his shoulder brushed his.
"They were going to try the restaurants, I think." He brought his hand up to his mouth, mimicking an eating gesture.
Hyukjae rolled his eyes then realised something, "They won't be back anytime soon, will they?"
Sungmin shook his head, "Although I think Ryeowook is going to make sure they won't eat too much, drink too much."
"But that still means the bus is empty."
Sungmin turned his head towards Hyukjae with a raised eyebrow, "Yeah...?"
Hyukjae slid his hand into Sungmin's, smiling, "You wanna go make cookies?"
Sungmin grinned and clinched Hyukjae's hand tightly, "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea."
Hyukjae nodded and pulled Sungmin into the bus, locking the door behind them.
II
Hyukjae looked around the lobby of the adoption agency. He and Sungmin were there to start the process so they could adopt a little boy, or a little girl. He didn't even know what he wanted. He just wanted a child that he and Sungmin could raise together and be the best fathers ever. But there was a problem.
His knees were bouncing like crazy. He was so nervous. What if they were rejected? What if he was the reason they were rejected? He didn't have the best childhood. They wouldn't let them have a baby.
"Hyuk? Hyukjae? Are you okay?"
He looked up and saw Sungmin looking at him worriedly. He'd placed his hand over Hyukjae's and he turned his hand over to grip Sungmin's, "What if they don't let us have a baby because of me?"
Sungmin shifted closer, putting his other hand on Hyukjae's, "They won't. I promise you, Hyuk. We're fine. We're going to be the best dads any child could ever hope for."
"But what if..."
He was cut off as a woman came up to them. "Mr. Lee and Mister... Lee?" They nodded at her and she smiled, "Mrs. Kang is ready to see you."
Sungmin moved to stand up and felt Hyukjae pulling on his hand. He looked down at him with pursed lips, "It's going to be okay, Hyukjae."
Hyukjae squeezes his hand tightly, "I'm so nervous. Don't let go, Min. Please."
"I won't. Ever." He pulled Hyukjae to his feet, never letting go of his hand.
Hyukjae smiled and let Sungmin drag him off into Mrs. Kang's office. They were going to be the best dads ever.
III
Sungmin woke up suddenly. He looked around to see what had woken him. Oh, there was a steady rapping at his window. He went over quickly and opened it. "Hyukjae! Mom'll kill you for climbing the wisteria."
Hyukjae was dressed in pyjamas and a hoodie. Nights in Seoul were cold. The thirteen year-old moved over to Sungmin's bed and climbed in, pulling the covers up to his head.
Sungmin sighed. Another bad night, he guessed. Sungmin was fourteen, though he sometimes acted like he was an adult, especially for Hyukjae. He moved over to get in the bed with him, looking down, "Did he come home drunk again?"
The covers moved in what Sungmin assumed was a nod. Hyukjae grabbed the pillow and put it over his head, gripping it tightly. He hated when his father came home like that. Thankfully, Sungmin's mom never cared if he came over at any time of the night, and Sungmin never really cared if he climbed in his bed.
Sungmin hated when Hyukjae was like this, wanting to hide. Curling up behind him, he reached over and took Hyukjae's hand in his, "I'm here, Hyuk. Always."
Hyukjae squeezed his hand and actually pulled his head out from under the pillow, "Thank you," he muttered and shifted back towards Sungmin, pulling his arm tighter around him.
They fell asleep like that. They always fell asleep like that. That's what made them best friends.
IV
Hyukjae tentatively walked into the hospital room. He fucking hated hospitals, and the sight that greeted him emphasized that feeling so much. Sungmin was lying in the bed, an IV stuck in his arm. He was thin and pale and so very much not Sungmin.
"You fucking idiot," he muttered to himself as he forced his legs to move towards the bed.
Sungmin looked up towards him weakly. "Yeah, I know," he replied, just knowing Hyukjae was talking about him and his stupid addiction. Hyukjae just didn't know what it was like to be home and be completely alone. Hyukjae had stayed busy with his schedules, had toured in Japan, and Sungmin had... nothing to do. That had been the harder of the two.
"Not you," Hyukjae said, "I'm the idiot. How did I not see the signs?"
Sungmin's bony shoulders raised slightly in a shrug, "I did my best to keep them from you and everyone else. I didn't think it was such a big deal."
"Not a big deal?!" Hyukjae's voice raised in pitch and volume. He shocked himself with how venomous he sounded. "Sorry, sorry. I just--" He reached out to take one of Sungmin's hands. They were still smooth and soft, but they were thinner than Sungmin's hands had ever been.
"Sungmin, you're my fucking best friend. You're the only one who's been there through everything with me," he looked at Sungmin expectantly. Sungmin should know this.
Sungmin did know this, but he also knew more. He sighed heavily, "I went home and puttered around an empty house. I had no reason to go anywhere. I had no reason to see anyone. Nobody wanted to see me, either."
"That's not true," Hyukjae objected.
"And did you ever call me up and invite me out? I mean, it's not like you were in Japan the whole time."
Hyukjae thought about it and his face started turning pink quickly. No, he hadn't really ever called Sungmin up to ask him to go grab a bite whenever he returned to Korea for a few days. He'd always been too tired, and also, he'd always thought Sungmin was busy or he'd feel like a third wheel.
Hyukjae was a shitty friend.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, Min. I'm horrible."
Sungmin squeezed his hand as much as he could, "You are not horrible, Hyukjae, and I know you're my best friend. You're all I have left, but you never were there. You have your other friends. You don't need me anymore."
"Oh, bullshit," Hyukjae said. Whatever made Sungmin say that? "I will always need you. I'm nothing without you. So, you know, don't fucking die, okay?" He moved his free hand up to wipe at his eyes. He didn't even know when he started crying, but the fucking tears are getting in the fucking way.
"I wasn't trying to," Sungmin admitted. "I just wanted the pain to stop."
"Then why didn't you call me?"
"Because you're always busy." It actually felt good to let the words out. Sungmin had never had the guts to say them out loud. The therapist he'd been seeing before he relapsed again had told him he should talk to Hyukjae and tell him how he felt. The fucking bitch had been right.
Hyukjae blinked, looking blankly at Sungmin. How the hell... no, he was right. But Hyukjae was going to change, right here and now.
He reached out for the chair that was sitting next to the bed, obviously left there by Sungmin's mother or maybe Sungjin... or maybe even one of his exes. He pulled it over and sat down, never letting go of Sungmin's hand, "Well, I will never again be too busy for you, Min. You mean so much to me," he squeezed his hand and settled in to stay.
V
"Are you ready?"
Sungmin looked up to see Hyukjae standing in the dressing room doorway. He smiled, though it was a little forced, "Not really," he answered with a sigh, slumping on the couch.
The taller man moved over to sit beside him and Sungmin fit himself into his side. Hyukjae wrapped his arm around him and took his hand. Sungmin marveled at just how comfortable and familiar Hyukjae felt.
They sat silently for a few minutes, Sungmin soaking in Hyukjae's calmness. Finally, he decided he needed to admit his fear, "This is the first time I've ever gone out there by myself. What if I fuck it up?"
"You won't," Hyukjae said, "You've been singing and playing these songs around the house for weeks. You know them. You could play them with your eyes closed."
Sungmin didn't look convinced. He was turning a shade of pale green. Putting his free hand on his stomach, he leaned his head on Hyukjae's shoulder, "I feel sick. I don't think I can do this."
Hyukjae pulled him closer, "You can. I'll be right here. All of your friends are here. Just pretend you're having a party at home."
"Okay," Sungmin looked down at where Hyukjae's had his hand. He was really glad he'd met him. He'd helped him through some really tough times. And here he was - helping again.
The coordinator appeared at the door with a huge smile, "It's time, Sungmin-ssi."
Hyukjae turned and looked at Sungmin, he nodded and stood up to get his guitar. He suddenly realised that Hyukjae still had his hand. Hyukjae pulled him to him and gave him a soft kiss, "Kill 'em, munchkin."
Pairing: Hyukjae/Sungmin
Rating: G/PG
Word count: 200~700
Summary: A set of drabbles in where Hyukjae and Sungmin were holding hands.
Note: Drabbles are totally not related to one another. Inspired by a quote from Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist:
"Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right? That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand."
I
Sungmin stood outside the bus in the sun, leaning against the side, watching people pass by. Okay, maybe he was dozing a little behind his dark sunglasses. He felt a shadow pass over him and opened his eyes to see Hyukjae walking up to him.
"'Sup?" he said.
"Where's everybody?" Hyukjae asked as he leaned up beside Sungmin, making sure his shoulder brushed his.
"They were going to try the restaurants, I think." He brought his hand up to his mouth, mimicking an eating gesture.
Hyukjae rolled his eyes then realised something, "They won't be back anytime soon, will they?"
Sungmin shook his head, "Although I think Ryeowook is going to make sure they won't eat too much, drink too much."
"But that still means the bus is empty."
Sungmin turned his head towards Hyukjae with a raised eyebrow, "Yeah...?"
Hyukjae slid his hand into Sungmin's, smiling, "You wanna go make cookies?"
Sungmin grinned and clinched Hyukjae's hand tightly, "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea."
Hyukjae nodded and pulled Sungmin into the bus, locking the door behind them.
II
Hyukjae looked around the lobby of the adoption agency. He and Sungmin were there to start the process so they could adopt a little boy, or a little girl. He didn't even know what he wanted. He just wanted a child that he and Sungmin could raise together and be the best fathers ever. But there was a problem.
His knees were bouncing like crazy. He was so nervous. What if they were rejected? What if he was the reason they were rejected? He didn't have the best childhood. They wouldn't let them have a baby.
"Hyuk? Hyukjae? Are you okay?"
He looked up and saw Sungmin looking at him worriedly. He'd placed his hand over Hyukjae's and he turned his hand over to grip Sungmin's, "What if they don't let us have a baby because of me?"
Sungmin shifted closer, putting his other hand on Hyukjae's, "They won't. I promise you, Hyuk. We're fine. We're going to be the best dads any child could ever hope for."
"But what if..."
He was cut off as a woman came up to them. "Mr. Lee and Mister... Lee?" They nodded at her and she smiled, "Mrs. Kang is ready to see you."
Sungmin moved to stand up and felt Hyukjae pulling on his hand. He looked down at him with pursed lips, "It's going to be okay, Hyukjae."
Hyukjae squeezes his hand tightly, "I'm so nervous. Don't let go, Min. Please."
"I won't. Ever." He pulled Hyukjae to his feet, never letting go of his hand.
Hyukjae smiled and let Sungmin drag him off into Mrs. Kang's office. They were going to be the best dads ever.
III
Sungmin woke up suddenly. He looked around to see what had woken him. Oh, there was a steady rapping at his window. He went over quickly and opened it. "Hyukjae! Mom'll kill you for climbing the wisteria."
Hyukjae was dressed in pyjamas and a hoodie. Nights in Seoul were cold. The thirteen year-old moved over to Sungmin's bed and climbed in, pulling the covers up to his head.
Sungmin sighed. Another bad night, he guessed. Sungmin was fourteen, though he sometimes acted like he was an adult, especially for Hyukjae. He moved over to get in the bed with him, looking down, "Did he come home drunk again?"
The covers moved in what Sungmin assumed was a nod. Hyukjae grabbed the pillow and put it over his head, gripping it tightly. He hated when his father came home like that. Thankfully, Sungmin's mom never cared if he came over at any time of the night, and Sungmin never really cared if he climbed in his bed.
Sungmin hated when Hyukjae was like this, wanting to hide. Curling up behind him, he reached over and took Hyukjae's hand in his, "I'm here, Hyuk. Always."
Hyukjae squeezed his hand and actually pulled his head out from under the pillow, "Thank you," he muttered and shifted back towards Sungmin, pulling his arm tighter around him.
They fell asleep like that. They always fell asleep like that. That's what made them best friends.
IV
Hyukjae tentatively walked into the hospital room. He fucking hated hospitals, and the sight that greeted him emphasized that feeling so much. Sungmin was lying in the bed, an IV stuck in his arm. He was thin and pale and so very much not Sungmin.
"You fucking idiot," he muttered to himself as he forced his legs to move towards the bed.
Sungmin looked up towards him weakly. "Yeah, I know," he replied, just knowing Hyukjae was talking about him and his stupid addiction. Hyukjae just didn't know what it was like to be home and be completely alone. Hyukjae had stayed busy with his schedules, had toured in Japan, and Sungmin had... nothing to do. That had been the harder of the two.
"Not you," Hyukjae said, "I'm the idiot. How did I not see the signs?"
Sungmin's bony shoulders raised slightly in a shrug, "I did my best to keep them from you and everyone else. I didn't think it was such a big deal."
"Not a big deal?!" Hyukjae's voice raised in pitch and volume. He shocked himself with how venomous he sounded. "Sorry, sorry. I just--" He reached out to take one of Sungmin's hands. They were still smooth and soft, but they were thinner than Sungmin's hands had ever been.
"Sungmin, you're my fucking best friend. You're the only one who's been there through everything with me," he looked at Sungmin expectantly. Sungmin should know this.
Sungmin did know this, but he also knew more. He sighed heavily, "I went home and puttered around an empty house. I had no reason to go anywhere. I had no reason to see anyone. Nobody wanted to see me, either."
"That's not true," Hyukjae objected.
"And did you ever call me up and invite me out? I mean, it's not like you were in Japan the whole time."
Hyukjae thought about it and his face started turning pink quickly. No, he hadn't really ever called Sungmin up to ask him to go grab a bite whenever he returned to Korea for a few days. He'd always been too tired, and also, he'd always thought Sungmin was busy or he'd feel like a third wheel.
Hyukjae was a shitty friend.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, Min. I'm horrible."
Sungmin squeezed his hand as much as he could, "You are not horrible, Hyukjae, and I know you're my best friend. You're all I have left, but you never were there. You have your other friends. You don't need me anymore."
"Oh, bullshit," Hyukjae said. Whatever made Sungmin say that? "I will always need you. I'm nothing without you. So, you know, don't fucking die, okay?" He moved his free hand up to wipe at his eyes. He didn't even know when he started crying, but the fucking tears are getting in the fucking way.
"I wasn't trying to," Sungmin admitted. "I just wanted the pain to stop."
"Then why didn't you call me?"
"Because you're always busy." It actually felt good to let the words out. Sungmin had never had the guts to say them out loud. The therapist he'd been seeing before he relapsed again had told him he should talk to Hyukjae and tell him how he felt. The fucking bitch had been right.
Hyukjae blinked, looking blankly at Sungmin. How the hell... no, he was right. But Hyukjae was going to change, right here and now.
He reached out for the chair that was sitting next to the bed, obviously left there by Sungmin's mother or maybe Sungjin... or maybe even one of his exes. He pulled it over and sat down, never letting go of Sungmin's hand, "Well, I will never again be too busy for you, Min. You mean so much to me," he squeezed his hand and settled in to stay.
V
"Are you ready?"
Sungmin looked up to see Hyukjae standing in the dressing room doorway. He smiled, though it was a little forced, "Not really," he answered with a sigh, slumping on the couch.
The taller man moved over to sit beside him and Sungmin fit himself into his side. Hyukjae wrapped his arm around him and took his hand. Sungmin marveled at just how comfortable and familiar Hyukjae felt.
They sat silently for a few minutes, Sungmin soaking in Hyukjae's calmness. Finally, he decided he needed to admit his fear, "This is the first time I've ever gone out there by myself. What if I fuck it up?"
"You won't," Hyukjae said, "You've been singing and playing these songs around the house for weeks. You know them. You could play them with your eyes closed."
Sungmin didn't look convinced. He was turning a shade of pale green. Putting his free hand on his stomach, he leaned his head on Hyukjae's shoulder, "I feel sick. I don't think I can do this."
Hyukjae pulled him closer, "You can. I'll be right here. All of your friends are here. Just pretend you're having a party at home."
"Okay," Sungmin looked down at where Hyukjae's had his hand. He was really glad he'd met him. He'd helped him through some really tough times. And here he was - helping again.
The coordinator appeared at the door with a huge smile, "It's time, Sungmin-ssi."
Hyukjae turned and looked at Sungmin, he nodded and stood up to get his guitar. He suddenly realised that Hyukjae still had his hand. Hyukjae pulled him to him and gave him a soft kiss, "Kill 'em, munchkin."