Days
Title: Days
Pairing: Donghae/Sungmin
Rating:R
Word count:1873
Summary: How their relationship has come to this remains a mystery to him.
Note: Sequel to Retribution and Salvation that I found in my drafts. I suggest you read the other fic before reading this because I've mentioned a few things related to that in this fic. I know it has been long overdue, but I'll just post it anyway. If anyone actually reads this stuff, I hope you enjoy!
It's been thirty days, and Sungmin is waiting in the airport. He doesn't know what flight Donghae is on, but he's not worried. He's got his phone turned on so if Donghae doesn't find him at least he has a way to get in touch. Sungmin can hear it already: Sungmin, jesusfuck, my bag weighs a ton, you lazy bastard. Come get me.
The phone has been on for twenty-four hours straight and he hasn't received a single phone call, and that feels strange. If he were part of the tour, he probably already received tons of them from their management or the media, but no. He wasn't part of the tour, he didn't even have the right. It's been sixty days since that too, since Sungmin has been kicked out of the group, since Sungmin realised that everything with Hyukjae was over and decided to move forward. It was still a little too much hurt and memory but that won't last forever; the memories will stay, but the hurt will fade.
Thirty days have passed since Sungmin was last in this same spot, since Sungmin and Donghae looked at each other and smiled. Donghae left for the tour and Sungmin faced with the stretch of weeks filled with blissful, do-nothing relaxation.
"See you in a month?"
"Not if I see you first."
It has been sixty days and two weeks since he accepted Donghae into his life. When Donghae repeatedly told him, "I'm here to help you, I'm here to help you,"and explained how he should not feel so bad about himself, that he's eventually gonna get better. It then went down to a simple, "I'm here for you."It's also been sixty days and two weeks since he realised there's no way he's ever going back to Super Junior. That was it. He fucked it up. He told himself he'd never do it again, or at least he would try not to. Donghae promised that he will do everything for it to never happen again, and Sungmin didn't want to do that to Donghae either. It's not like he wanted to do that to Hyukjae, but it already happened before he even knew it. So this time, he's really gonna try. It's gonna be hard, Sungmin knows, but he's ready to start again.
So Sungmin bought tickets on the first plane out of the country and left. The phone has been mostly off since, Sungmin infrequently returning everyone's messages with repetition: I'm fine, I'm safe, I'm fine, I'm safe. There was one voicemail from Donghae seventeen days in: In Tokyo surrounded by neon and movement. Pretty girl asked me if I was lost. Didn't know what to tell her. Miss you.He called back twenty-three days in with a message of his own: I'm in a rainforest. I'm looking at a bird with colorful feathers and a stupid expression. I'm thinking about you.
How their relationship has come to this remains a mystery to him. The first few days with Donghae felt so long and unbearable, he felt like he was trapped and needed to escape. But Donghae was persistent, Sungmin realised that maybe he really wanted to help and he started to open up. Some days were quiet because Donghae had to attend to his schedule, and Sungmin thought that it was weird missing him. But he doesn't want to worry about it. Not right now, not anymore.
There's a tap on Sungmin's shoulder making him jump.
"Saw you first," Donghae says, grinning and dropping his bags at his sides. Sungmin doesn't have a smartass reply, just wraps his arms around Donghae's shoulders and holds on. He's not surprised when Donghae does the same, hugging long enough that they're probably causing a scene but Sungmin can't bring himself to care.
When they finally let go, Sungmin hauls up one of Donghae's bags and nearly topples over. Donghae laughs at him and steadies Sungmin with a hand on his waist. He doesn't let go until they get to Sungmin's car and once they're on the road, Donghae puts his hand on Sungmin's leg but doesn't say anything. Sungmin bites his lip and drives home. He doesn't ask Donghae if he wants to go back to his own house or the dorm, but it's not like Donghae protests. It's just one of those things, and Donghae's been staying with him for a while now anyway.
Sungmin lets them inside and they both drop the bags in the front hall. He locks the door and turns, fully expecting to ask Donghae if he wants to sleep or to eat, but what comes out is, "So, did you have fun at the tour?"
Donghae replies by pushing Sungmin up against his door and kissing him. And Sungmin wants to be surprised by this, wants to think he never saw it coming, but it's really hard to be surprised by the only person he's been with the last couple of weeks. So he's not. But he wants this, God, does he ever want. He closes his eyes and moans, pulling Donghae in, closer, and sucking on his lower lip.
Donghae's kind of an aggressive kisser, not that this is a surprise to Sungmin either. He presses his palms up against the door on either side of Sungmin's head and grinds down, biting at Sungmin's lips, sliding his tongue into Sungmin's mouth and licking his way inside, forcing Sungmin's jaw wide open. This is working for Sungmin, really working for him, and so is the thought that if they do this again, Sungmin can get Donghae to slow down, all teasing nips and lazy, wide-open kisses. Donghae bucks his hips and whimpers then, and even though Sungmin knows logically Donghae can't read his mind, it's still a nice thought.
Donghae pulls away, "Do you...?"
"I don't know," Sungmin says, cutting Donghae off.
"You don't know if you want to go to your room?" Donghae laughs and grabs Sungmin's wrist.
"No, that I want. I don't know if I found myself." He replies as he runs two fingers back and forth, bumping over bracelets and nail-scratching over the skin in between. Donghae kind of stops, thinks, then looks at Sungmin as if trying to confirm what he just heard.
"I was kind of joking about that," Sungmin says, forcing himself to breathe. It's a little difficult with Donghae still so close, staring through his soul. "I don't know if that's even possible. I saw so much... it was weird being on my own for that long. I thought a lot."
"Me too." Donghae's fingers walks up his arm, traces over his collarbone. "I thought about you. Should this be weird?"
Sungmin shakes his head. There's really nothing weird about this at all, but maybe that's the weird part. They can worry about it later. Sungmin puts his palm in the middle of Donghae's chest and pushes back with renewed urgency.
"Impatient," Donghae admonishes.
"You look exhausted. I think you need to lie down." Sungmin grabs Donghae's hand and tugs, keeps tugging until they're inside his room and he can pull Donghae's shirt over his head. "You know how I worry."
Donghae helps Sungmin with his shirt and fumbles his hands on Sungmin's belt when Sungmin dips his head to lick at his nipple. Sungmin pushes Donghae onto his back once their clothes are mostly off, doesn't even giggle at Donghae's socks left on because Sungmin isn't stupid and Donghae looks hot naked, sleepily blinking up, arms stretched above his head, knees hooked over the edge of the mattress, cock hard and flushed against his belly.
Sungmin straddles Donghae's thighs, letting out a hitched breath when he settles himself down, warm skin touching everywhere. It's strange and wonderful to have Donghae so close, so present after so much time apart. He curves himself over Donghae, sucking on his jaw, biting his ear and gasping when Donghae reaches down and grabs his ass, pushing their hips together.
"In Peru I accidentally ate a guinea pig," Donghae moans while watching Sungmin sit up to lick his palm and suck on his fingers. It's a little weird as far as dirty talk goes, but Sungmin goes with it, trying to wrap his fingers around both of their dicks and just about managing. "It's, like, a delicacy there. You would have laughed so hard, and I wanted you with me so bad right then," Donghae cuts himself off to moan as Sungmin rubs his thumb against the head of his cock, "...so bad. I was mad imagining you laughing at me, and you weren't even there."
"I would have laughed a lot," Sungmin offers, his own voice rough as he starts stroking them faster, Donghae's hand joining his, linking their fingers together.
"Sungmin." Their eyes meet and Sungmin swallows at Donghae staring at him. Sungmin's eyes flick down to watch Donghae's tongue wet his lips, to follow the blush that starts high on Donghae's cheeks and travels down his neck and chest, to their hands working together on their cocks. It's hard to breathe faced with all that, the idea that Sungmin is the one that did this to Donghae, that Donghae did this to him. "That same stupid night I went back to my hotel," Donghae continues, "and I jerked off thinking about you sucking me off as apology for laughing at me. It was fucking amazing." Sungmin makes an embarrassing noise picturing that and comes messily all over Donghae's chest.
Donghae doesn't laugh then, as much as Sungmin expects him to, and it's nice that Donghae can surprise him still. He just pulls Sungmin down into the mess and rolls them onto their sides, kisses Sungmin in a way that keeps him breathless and tugs Sungmin's hand until it's curled around Donghae's dick again, jacking him fast, faster when Donghae hooks a leg over Sungmin's hip and bites his jaw.
"I didn't jack off in Paris orRome or someplace exotic with you on my mind," Sungmin says, propping himself up so he can whisper close to Donghae's ear, "Did this morning though. The tissues are still on the floor." He twists his wrist, and Donghae huffs out a laugh and jerks forward, shaking and rumbling out a groan against Sungmin's shoulder as he comes, dripping over Sungmin's fist.
They clean up with Sungmin's discarded shirt and immediately after, Donghae yawns huge. Sungmin still doesn't know where he'd been coming from, when he'd last slept. He pulls up the sheets over them and spoons up against Donghae's back, an arm draped over Donghae's chest keeping him close. There are too many questions running rapid fire through his head, but he can ask them all later. They'll figure it out together, like what they did the last time.
Donghae's breathing is already shallow and even. Sungmin squeezes his hand and presses a kiss to the back of his neck. "Welcome back," he says softly.
"It's good to be home," Donghae mumbles and falls asleep.