We'll turn today into a memory, too

Oct 11, 2010 18:53

Title: We'll turn today into a memory, too
Group/pairing: NEWS; NishiKato
Word Count: 413 (like Yoko's solo :P)
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My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away, but every now and then you come to mind...

"Why is this damn song on your playlist?" Ryo asks as he's sitting in Shige's room, flipping through one of his textbooks.

"Why does it matter to you? Do you even know what they're singing about?" Shige responds bluntly.

"Do you?"

If it hadn't been for all the years of being in the band together, this conversation probably wouldn't have gone the same way. Shige would probably have apologized and ended every sentence with Nishikido-kun, or something to that degree. In fact, Ryo would most definitely not have been invited to Shige's place to begin with. A few years ago, it would have been Koyama. It still is sometimes, but now is different.

Shige doesn't answer because they both know the answer is 'of course.' Shige rarely doesn't have a reason for doing anything; there's always a story or purpose behind every aspect of his life. Although sometimes, there are just some things that can't be explained, that have no logical or practical function, but exists nonetheless.
Ryo thinks that's why he's kept around. He's the one thing Shige can't figure out. Why do they get along? Why did they used to fight? How is it that they can be with each other and just be comfortable?
All these questions don't necessarily have an answer, they just are.

Ryo's flipped his way to the end of the book now and rummages for another book to browse. Shige's studying at his desk, enjoying the silent yet strong presence of the older man.

'Cause you know that I am always on your side...

When the song ends, Ellegarden's "虹" comes on, and Shige has to take a break from reading to enjoy his favorite band. It's been awhile since he's heard it, and he's almost forgotten that it's on his playlist.

"Now, I can see why this is on here." Ryo comments. "At least this is in good taste."

Shige holds back a soft chuckle, realizing that this was the playlist he created back when they were still in the 'I don't know if I can do this' phase. After all, it's only right to have a set of songs that accompanies you through the wavering moments in life. It's like your own personal original soundtrack, including music that you've made and have made you.
Ryo may not know some of these songs, and he may never know the meanings behind those lyrics, but it's ok this way.
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Extended version (~520 words)
Shige thinks back on how hard it used to be, trying to live up to everyone’s expectations, especially that of his band mates, and especially that of Ryo. He used to think Yamashita-kun would be the toughest on everyone, but that was never the case. He was a laid back leader, even when he properly accepted the role post hiatus. Shige was always the last one to memorize the steps, the last one to remember the formation on stage, but he always tried his best. Sometimes, his best was not good enough for Ryo though.

Shige entered Johnny’s agency when he was rather young, like most boys, but he didn’t act his age. He seemed and acted more mature than most people, yet he couldn’t always keep up with the rigorous routines. Koyama and his fellow members would help him and back him up, but Ryo would always find reason to criticize him.

Ryo was a workaholic, even in his earlier years, and he expected others to work like him. Shige knew this, he could read people really well, but that didn’t mean that he accepted to do whatever Ryo wanted. He had grown up trying to fulfill others’ expectations and it was about time he went to do things on his own. But it wasn’t as if he haphazardly didn’t pay attention to the order of things, Shige had his reasons for not asking for help or not speaking his mind; he had reasons for just about everything. Apparently, Ryo didn’t care.

It’s rather unclear when they started getting close to each other. It wasn’t as if one day they decided to stop arguing (or rather Ryo who put his pride aside to say that Shige actually had some talent), it was a gradual changing and growing of their characters as people. It was surprisingly easy to talk to Ryo, after getting past his hard exterior, of course.

In later years, Shige discovers that the yelling and the glares were just defense mechanisms Ryo used for himself. He created this image of being the strongest and biggest person in the room when in fact, he felt really small. Maybe it was an aftermath of all the years people calling him chibi, but behind the harsh mask was a man who was too shy to show his kindness.

Most people who get to know Ryo past the first few months will know this about him, but it took Shige several years to learn this. It’s only natural to shrink back from the things you fear, and although he won’t admit it, Ryo used to be a scary person too. If Shige were more of the resilient person he is now, he might have seen this side of Ryo sooner. He might have fallen for him harder, and he might not have become anything at all to Ryo. But because he is who he is now thanks to Ryo, he doesn’t wish for things to be any different. Shige knows there are reasons for everything, even if he can’t explain all of them. Ryo just happens to be one of them.
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A/N: I never knew this was even in my brain until that site forced me to type something out ^^ I had been planning on writing some NishiKato angst using Sheryl Crow and Sting's duet version of "Always On Your Side," and this came out instead. I wouldn't called it angst, more like contemplative simplicity? lol:P
I thought of "Niji" even before I went to look up the lyrics and it just happens to fit perfectly, so I couldn't pass up the chance to include it. I hope you liked it:)
A/N2: The extended version is kind of me trying to explain Ryo through Shige's eyes, and it's rather similar to what I've said in the next fic, so sorry if it's a little repetitive. I just happen to love Ryo a lot:D

r: g, g: news, p: kato shigeaki/nishikido ryo, x: fanfic

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