To Fred Weasley from your favoritest sibling and sister in the whole wide world
Fred,
A little birdy told me that you have been neglecting a certain someone for quite a bit. She's getting sexually frustrated.
I've also heard about a certain oral fixation. Is there something you want to tell me, brother mine?
This is more information than I ever needed, so please take care of this issue post-haste.
Or else I shall be forced to tell her stories. And I think you know exactly which ones I mean.
Ginny
PS - George... what's this I hear about a slave coupon you gave to Parvati? How come I've never gotten a coupon saying you'd be my slave? Next time we're all together, you get to help mum cook and clean.