A Pencil, A Crown, and A Kiss On The Lips

[owl_wishes]

“I’m not this wonderful person you think I am.”

“You are with me,” Emma had replied, like it could actually be that easy; like they could let the past go and she could become this lighter, kinder version of herself.

She remembered those words so clearly.

She had lowered her chin shyly to her chest, and watched Emma’s hand reach through the distance between them on the bed to pull her gaze back up. Her secrets were out and Emma had barely flinched. She’d been counting the seconds in her head for weeks, wondering when Emma would split and run far, far away from her and her twisted problems. She couldn’t evade Emma’s questions forever, and that lovely girl had been so patient with the vague answers she’d managed to supply so far about her life before they’d met. It wasn’t only the addiction, but who she was as a person, who she’d let herself become for a while there while she was so very lost. Emma had surprised her over and over from the beginning, but the fact that Emma was still around, still adamant about not giving up, even when she had made it so easy for her to move on, that was the part that made her feel suddenly cold from the inside. She knew that she was undeserving of Emma’s kindness. What she couldn’t figure out was what Emma saw in her that said exactly the opposite.

She shifted uncomfortably on the large bed, and wished selfishly that Emma would move closer, so she could feel her warmth. Emma’s gaze on her made her feel like every single one of her faults was displayed beneath harsh stage lights, but when she courageously met that brownish-green gaze, she couldn’t find judgment. Not even a shred of it. The tricks her mind played were quickly causing her to lose her nerve. No one had ever looked at her the way Emma did, and she couldn’t decide if she loved it or hated it. Her thoughts dissolved and her eyes fluttered shut when Emma traced her jawline softly. She’d invited Emma over to show her that this was a bad idea, that Emma was too good for her, and that she deserved so much better than Jenny could ever offer. As soon as she’d arrived at her doorway, Jenny struggled to get her point across. She opened her eyes again when Emma shifted closer on the bed and combed gentle fingers through her long, dark hair in a slow motion that calmed her mind.

“Why are you so sweet and patient with me?” she had to know, because it didn’t make sense. No one who mattered in her life ever knew of the self-deprecation that went on in her head, slicing through her every chance of happiness. Emma seemed to sense it from right about the time they’d first kissed. Her thoughts cut off when Emma giggled quietly and traced a smooth line down the length of her neck. She did everything she could not to tilt her head further to give Emma more skin to explore.

“Why shouldn’t I be?” that wonderful girl asked in reply, because she was Emma, and she said things like that so easily.

The phrase was meant lightly, but once it swirled inside Jenny’s ears, it grew heavier, until finally landing on her heart like a mass of cement that made it harder to breathe. The chill returned to her insides, and her arms pressed closer to her body to retain warmth. She gritted her teeth as she looked down at the printed design of her blanket cover, and chocked on the few words she spoke quietly in response. “Because no one else is.”

She studied the curve of the thin grey flower on the soft fabric between them for a long moment. She knew Emma’s gaze had returned to her, if it ever left, but she was determined never to meet those eyes again, not after all of the useless confessions she’d made during the short time Emma had sat there beside her that evening.

“I’m not anyone else,” Emma spoke softly.

She’d been so busy with her own thoughts that when the words reached her, she met the innocence on Emma’s face with hopeful eyes. In the second that passed between them after that statement, she watched a soft rosy color settle on Emma’s cheeks. She couldn’t deny the emotion building up at the base of her throat. “No,” she whispered shakily as mist collected behind her eyes. “No, you’re not.” She bit down her trembling lip as Emma leaned closer and pressed a kiss to her cheek, making her smile for the first time that day. She shyly looked up when Emma cupped her face for a long moment, and took a quick breath when she saw her small, happy smile. Then Emma’s lips pressed against her own in a quick kiss that made her so lightheaded that she reached beside her on the bed for balance.

“Now,” Emma had said once she’d licked her lips, and Jenny wondered if they were tingling like hers. She watched Emma lean over the side of the bed to pull something out of her bag, and then a puff of laughter stumbled out of her throat as Emma held up two DVD cases. “Which one are we watching?”

Jenny answered by lunging forward and covering Emma’s face in light kisses.

“Quit moving,” Emma insisted affectionately, before biting her lower lip as she added a few lines to the bottom-right side of her sketchbook.

Landing back in reality, Jenny smiled foolishly at the girl sitting at the foot of her bed. Emma pretended not to notice, and instead only quirked her eyebrows expectantly. Jenny did as she was told, and moved her arm back to where Emma had placed it carefully about twenty minutes earlier. She tilted her head back slightly and felt a few locks of long hair sweep over her shoulder. She looked back at the adorable look of concentration on Emma’s features and grinned to herself. She knew Emma could tell when she tried to bite down her own smile.

“You’re making me lose my focus,” Emma mumbled as she directed her gaze to somewhere just below Jenny’s neck.

“Focus later,” she pouted in reply while her hand inched its way across the bed, though Emma had cleverly set up out of her reach. Emma blushed behind her sketchbook and shook her head as her pencil moved tentatively along smooth paper again.

A little while later, Emma leaned away from the sketchbook on her lap to contemplate the lines she’d made. She tucked her hair behind her ear and tapped the blunt end of her pencil to her lips before continuing. As she looked up, she saw Jenny smiling dreamily at her again, and she couldn’t help but wonder. “What?” she asked with a curious smile quirking at the corners of her lips.

“You’re beautiful,” Jenny declared, letting the words fill the room as she rolled onto her back and stretched her arms above her head. She giggled when Emma failed to hold down a grin. “Is it going okay? Am I difficult to sketch?” she wondered as she shifted her weight again to model for Emma.

“No,” Emma replied with a shake of her head as she set her sketchbook down and rose from her chair. “It’s going okay,” she answered vaguely, before kneeling down on the bed and gently moving Jenny’s bare shoulder back so the soft light spilled down to accentuate the folds of the sheet loosely covering her chest. She let her touch linger on the soft skin, losing focus on guiding Jenny back into the position she needed for the sketch the longer she stayed. “I like sketching you,” she confessed sweetly as her fingertips slid down one arm, across Jenny’s stomach, and up her chest in one measured motion.

Jenny shivered beneath the warm, electric touch. “Is that what we’re calling it now?” she asked hoarsely as a sly grin pulled across her lips. Emma met her sparkling gaze with the best glare she could muster as she got up. “Then I like sketching you too,” she declared happily as she reached up for Emma’s wrist and pulled her back onto the bed. “I really do,” she started to tease, but Emma’s mouth on hers silenced her quickly.

Emma felt warm hands glide down her sides, until they slid under her shirt and began moving upwards again. She thought to fight it for a moment, but then Jenny’s tongue was in her mouth, and the soft skin beneath her hands reminded her that her girlfriend was very much naked, and she instead shifted her focus to holding herself up as she fell into the kisses they shared.

They pulled away breathlessly when Jenny’s mobile rang softly on the bedside table. Emma brushed the hair out of her face and took in much-needed air while her skin heated beneath what clothes were still covering her body.

Jenny glanced at the screen, but with Emma’s hand still on her thigh, the caller ID didn’t manage to register in her mind. “Hello?” she answered as Emma sent her a sly little grin while sitting there with lust in her eyes. “Oh, hi,” quickly tumbled out of her mouth as her eyes grew wider. She pulled the thin sheet up from her stomach to her chest and pressed her hand down on top of it just to make sure it stayed. “I’m doing well, thanks,” she replied uncomfortably. “Yeah, she’s here, one second.” As she passed over the slim phone, Emma tilted her head adorably in confusion. ‘Your mother,’ she mouthed, and Emma’s grin fell as her neck flushed. She took her hand off of Jenny’s thigh and cleared her throat before answering.

“Hi, Mama,” she said pleasantly, but Jenny caught the slight grimace hiding in her features. “No, sorry, my mobile is still in my bag, I think.” She released a silent sigh as she listened. “Yes, it is good that Jenny keeps her phone close,” she agreed with a playful roll of her eyes.

Jenny giggled and rested her head on the pillow. She pushed her hand across the distance between them until Emma looked down and laced their fingers together.

“Yeah, we do kind of have…plans,” she added to the conversation between words flowing softly from the phone. “No, I know,” she replied, before turning Jenny’s hand over to draw invisible lines on her palm. After a minute, she tilted the phone away from her face. “Do you want to watch over Claude today?” she whispered to Jenny, who nodded in lazy happiness in return. As her mother’s words floated into her ear, she leaned close and pressed a silent kiss to her cheek, just because she could. “Okay,” she agreed, before returning to her phone call. “Okay, Mama, I’ll talk to you soon,” she said kindly before the call ended. As the screen of the phone blackened, she dejected sighed, “Sorry.”

Jenny tugged on her hand lightly to bring her closer. A lazy hum vibrated her lips when Emma lay down beside her and snuggled close. “Are you alright, beautiful?” she murmured.

Emma sighed and closed her eyes to block the world out for a few moments, and smiled when Jenny pressed a light kiss to her temple. “Claude’s playdate isn’t feeling well,” she said as she rolled up to rest on her elbow so she could play with the thin, warm sheet covering her girlfriend. “Her friend lives close to here, so I need to go pick her up and take her to my house. My mom said she’ll stay with my aunt so she’ll actually rest like the doctor said.”

“Let’s bring Claude back here,” Jenny suggested sweetly. “She likes it here, and the house is empty anyway. It’ll be fun,” she offered with a light shrug and an excited smile.

“Are you sure?” Emma asked with an undecided frown. “What if she gets all whiny and loud, and throws tantrums all afternoon? I don’t know if you’ve seen her pasta artwork at lunchtime, but she’s getting rather good at it.” Emma’s ramble cut short when she recognized the patient little smile curving Jenny’s lips, the one that waited for her to realize that she really didn’t have much of a basis for argument on the matter at hand. “Are you sure?” she asked again dumbly.

“Mhm,” Jenny replied as she trailed her fingertips up and down Emma’s arm and watched goose bumps rise on the soft skin.

Emma pushed up on her elbow again and kissed her, long and soft and sweet. Jenny moved to meet her touch, making it increasingly harder to remember that they both needed to get dressed and leave.

“I really wanted to finish my sketch,” Emma whispered against soft lips as her touch moved lower.

Jenny felt her insides simmer with electricity. “Em,” she breathed, warning her that those innocent touches were starting delicious fires on her skin.

Emma’s gaze roamed down between them for a few long seconds before she met Jenny’s darkening blue eyes. “How did I get so lucky?” she whispered as Jenny’s hands curled around her neck.

“Apartment four,” Emma read the final part of the message before the screen of her mobile phone darkened again. “I think it’s up one more floor.”

Jenny kept quiet, with a goofy little grin tamed between her teeth. Emma hadn’t let go of her hand since they’d left the Bergmann residence, and each time Emma turned to look at her, she had that look in her eyes, like they had a secret too good to keep hidden.

They made their way to a dark brown door with a hand-made sign sitting just below the eyehole at the end of the hallway. A cheery little melody swirled into their ears as they stepped up to ring the doorbell. Emma immediately recognized her young cousin’s voice, as it cheered, “E-mma! Je-nny!” from inside. She rang the doorbell and the singing stopped for a long moment, and when a kind woman with exhaustion in her eyes opened the door, Claudia leapt in their direction. “Hi!” she greeted them both, before launching herself into Emma’s arms, and then Jenny’s.

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” the kind woman said to them as she gave Emma a little red backpack, “but Claudia is always a joy to have over. We’ll have a playdate again soon, once Addy’s feeling better,” she added as she smoothed down the fabric of her skirt. “Alright?” she asked the little girl with a warm smile.

Claudia nodded as she shyly pressed into Emma’s side. “Tell Addy to feel better soon,” she said quietly with one hand fidgeting with her messy braid.

“I will,” Addy’s mother said. “They ate just a little while ago,” she told Emma.

“Alright,” she replied as she ruffled her small cousin’s hair.

A tired-looking toddler crawled to his mother’s feet and began to cry, and she lifted him up before waving to the girls and shutting the door. “Come on,” Claudia said then, having shed all of her shyness again. “I know the way out.” She took Emma’s hand and led her down the hallway.

Jenny squinted when they stepped out of the building and into the bright sun. “How was your playdate, honeybee?” she asked the girl skipping at her side.

“It was good,” Claudia answered distractedly as she focused on skipping twice in each block of cement on the sidewalk. “We married all of Addy’s stuffed animals. She has lots of them. Well, only except three that didn’t feel like getting married today.” Emma laughed quietly to herself as she rolled her eyes. Claudia was in a phase of marrying everything she could find. “But then Addy didn’t feel good and her mama said she needed to go to bed even though it’s still light outside. We were supposed to go to the park,” she added the last bit dejectedly as they reached the crosswalk. “Look left, look right, look left again,” she sang quietly to herself as she hunted for approaching cars. “Emma, can we still go to the park?” she asked as she reached for Jenny’s hand as well, so they could all cross the street safely.

Emma looked over at Jenny, and a whisper of laughter escaped her when the eagerness in her young cousin’s face almost matched Jenny’s. “Yeah, why not,” she said to them both. Claudia cheered and skipped between them for the rest of the block.

“And then you tie this one here,” Jenny explained slowly as Claudia watched her with the utmost fascination. “And when it’s as long as you want it to be, you tie the first one and the last one together,” she demonstrated. “Pull that end,” she told the little girl, and Claudia obeyed, catching the thin flower stem with her small fingers. “And there you go,” she finished, holding out the chain for her to see.

“Wow,” Claudia whispered in awe. “That’s so pretty,” she added without taking her eyes away for even a moment as she touched a few petals gently. She followed Jenny’s movements until she couldn’t anymore, and then her lips pulled up in a big grin as the flower chain was placed on her head. “Emma, look! Jenny made me a flower crown!” she announced, as if Emma hadn’t been sitting beside them the entire time.

“It’s very pretty,” Emma replied.

“You should wear the necklace,” Claudia insisted as she looked up at Jenny and gathered the longer flower chain she’d had made minutes earlier. She lifted it gently above her head and placed it around Jenny’s neck, before patted it down so it would stay. “Now you can be a princess of the flowers too,” she decided, passing her extended arms over the large group of flowers at her feet. She giggled to herself as she spun in a circle a few times, until she fell dizzily to the ground and lay out so the small flowers grazed her skin. “It’s pretty down here,” she called up dreamily as she looked at the sky above, partially hidden by the large tree keeping them cool in the summer air.

With her cousin busy watching the clouds move languidly across the sky, Emma leaned back on her hands and closed her eyes as she took in a full breath. Her lips pursed into a tight smile when she felt Jenny’s hand travel through the flowers to meet her own. She blinked over at Jenny and did her best to keep her smile tamed as she laced their fingers together. She tugged on Jenny’s hand and jerking her forward a moment later, so she could drag a sloppy kiss along her cheek.

Claudia brushed the hair out of her face with the back of her hand as she rolled onto her side to see through the flowers why Jenny was giggling. She made sure her flower crown was still on her head before sitting up and crawling between them, and pretended to be surprised when they both tickled her. After a few moments, she scrambled to her feet, shrieking with laughter, and took off running, circling the large tree twice before hiding behind it to catch her breath.

“Claudia!” she heard a familiar voice call. “Hey!”

Claudia spun around and squinted to see a girl about her size and age standing on the sandy playground not too far from their shady spot. “Hello,” Claudia called back loudly as she waved to her classmate. She poked her head around the large tree and asked, “Emma, can I go play on the playground?” She bounced a little as she waited for her answer, but sent a hand up to make sure that her crown stayed in place.

Emma twisted around to the playground and saw a little girl with curly dark hair wave excitedly in their direction. “Sure,” she told her cousin, who took off running before she’d even finished her one-word response.

Claudia ran until she took one final jump to land in front of her friend. She laughed and wiggled her toes as the warm sand of the playground trickled into her sandals.

“I like your crown,” her friend told her as she reached up to touch the flowers.

Claudia had almost forgotten about her princess crown. She reached up and touched it as well, and a proud grin pulled across her face. “Me too,” she replied in child-like innocence. “Race you to the swings!” she called before taking off in a run again.

Jenny rose up to her feet and brushed off the small bits of leaves and grass from her jeans. She turned in a half-circle and extended her hand down to Emma.

“Not you too,” Emma whined, looking unsurely at the sunny playground overrun with small children. She huffed before accepting Jenny’s hand and being pulled up to her feet. She managed to hold onto her pout for six whole steps, until Jenny nudged her with her hip as they walked, knocking her out of step and breaking her concentration which unleashed a smile. She pretended to glare in return, but that melted too when Jenny wrapped an arm around her waist and placed a soft kiss on her temple.

“Emma! Jenny!” Claudia called to them excitedly as she saw them approach. She waved to them with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around the chain of her swing.

“Do you need help, munchkin?” Emma asked as she stepped into the sand.

“I can do it,” Claudia assured them. “Watch!” she squeaked as her legs bent at the knee to pick up speed.

“I think you’re still trailing sand,” Emma found herself saying to her small cousin as they turned the corner onto the street that led up to the Bergmann residence. “How is that even possible?”

Claudia giggled behind the hand that wasn’t holding onto Jenny’s as Emma followed that statement by pulling a small leaf out of her messy braid. “The park was really fun,” she said to them in song form as she hopped once to accentuate her excitement. Jenny spun her around in a tight circle as Emma’s mobile beeped to announce that a message had come in.

Emma stopped walking as she waited for the message to open. Her heart warmed as she looked up to see her small cousin and her girlfriend dancing on the empty sidewalk with their flower-chain jewelry. “My aunt says that they can come pick her up now if we want them to,” she said to Jenny quietly as Claudia added another verse to her song while skipping between them.

The beginnings of a pout settled on Jenny’s face as Claudia lifted her hand up so she could twirl. “That’s it?” she asked as her eyes turned sad. “But…” she trailed off as she placed both of her hands on Claudia’s shoulders to settle her.

“It’s either now or in the evening,” Emma clarified, aware that the little girl was looking between them with interest. Jenny only nodded with her pout still in place. “Evening?” she asked, and Jenny nodded again.

Claudia leaned back against Jenny and peered up to see the look on her face. She quickly reworked her own features to present the same sad pout to Emma, without quite knowing what they were talking about.

Emma couldn’t help the laughter that escaped her at the sight of their duplicate droopy eyes and quivering lips. “Fine, I’ll tell her no,” she answered her own question as she brought her hands up in front of her in complete surrender.

Jenny took one small step into Emma’s personal space and flashed a wide grin before kissing her noisily on the cheek.

“Me too! Me too!” Claudia insisted impatiently as she tugged on her hand. Jenny picked her up for a moment so she could press a kiss on Emma’s other cheek.

“Okay, but when we get to Jenny’s house, you need a shower,” Emma told her cousin. “We can’t spread all of that sand and dirt in the house, okay?”

“Fine,” Claudia agreed as they started walking again. “But I wanna wear my crown. Flower princesses don’t take off their crowns.”

“You can wear it after.”

“Okay, but right after.”

“Deal.”

True to her word, Claudia fussed only a little when it was time to shower. Jenny sat cross-legged on her bed and listened to the little girl sing made-up songs that floated out from the bathroom to fill the rest of the top floor of the house. In between verses, she could hear Emma try and coax her into actually getting cleaned up. When they both emerged from the bathroom, Claudia’s hair bounced at her shoulders as she jumped at the foot of the bed in only her underwear.

“Jenny?” she asked as she dug the light summer dress her mother had packed in her bag just in case.

“Yes, honeybee?” she replied, and accepted the proffered summer dress. She opened the two buttons in the back as Claudia’s arms shot up, hands already in fists.

“I was talking to Emma,” Claudia began as the thin fabric covered her mouth and momentarily muffled her words, “and I wanna make Addy a picture so she’ll feel better.”

“That’s a great idea,” she agreed as she buttoned up the back of the dress again and twirled her around to let her know that she was finished. Emma smiled to herself as she folded up Claudia’s clothes and placed them in a bag she set beside her backpack.

“Do you have markers in pretty colors?” the little girl asked as she scrambled onto the bed to sit in front of Jenny. She held up her hand with a hair tie on it and tilted her head as she waited for an answer.

“I do,” she answered with a smile as she placed the hair tie beside her. She divided the little girl’s hair into three sections and braided it quickly. As soon as she tied it, Claudia slid down from the bed to where Emma had placed a few pieces of paper and markers on the smooth hardwood floor. Her little tongue slid out to the corner of her lips as she uncapped the first marker, a green one, and began coloring.

“I’ll draw the things Addy and I can do at the park when she’s better again. I have to draw the big slide, because it’s her favoritest,” she explained to them as she filled the white space with color. She grinned up at them when Emma took a seat beside Jenny on the bed with her laptop in hand.

As the laptop started up, Jenny leaned over and kissed Emma once before leaning back again. Her action brought blush up the length of Emma’s neck and a silly smile to her face, so she leaned forward again and proceeded to cover Emma’s face in light kisses.

Claudia rested her chin in her hands as she watched them. After a minute, she scrambled to her feet and hopped to the bed. “Me too, me too,” she whimpered, until Jenny scooped her up and pressed a kiss to her cheek as she dissolved in giggles. “Jenny?” she asked after a moment, and placed her small hand on top of their clasped ones to complete the pile and get their attention. “May I have something to drink?”

Emma watched over the top of the little girl’s head how Jenny melted at those words. “What would you like, honeybee?” Jenny asked as she pulled the little girl up to sit on her lap. Her smile turned mischievous as she slowly trailed her fingers on the bed until they reached the little girl and began tickling her softly.

“I don’t know,” Claudia mumbled happily as she tried to twist away.

“You don’t know?” she asked incredulously as her tickle torture increased, until Claudia doubled over with laughter.

“Juice!” the little girl finally shrieked giddily.

Jenny calmed her movements instantly and cleared her throat as she composed herself. “Juice it is,” she affirmed as she set Claudia back on the bed and got up.

“Maybe we should go downstairs so she doesn’t spill it?” Emma heard herself say, and even as the words were still coming out of her mouth, she winced at how much she sounded like her mother. She lowered her gaze and bit the inside of her cheek hard just to make sure she didn’t do it again. A moment later, she looked up as Jenny’s fingers combed soothingly through her hair to get it out of her eyes.

“I don’t mind,” Jenny replied warmly. “Do you want something too, beautiful?” she asked her at the doorway.

A playful smile snuck onto Emma’s face. “You,” she suggested cheekily. Jenny stuck her tongue out before making her way downstairs.

At that moment, the only thing Emma wanted in life was to kiss that girl senseless.

When Jenny entered her bedroom again, Claudia was back to drawing on the floor, surrounded by stray markers while Emma typed away on her laptop. She set a cup of juice and a small bowl of grapes down by the little girl, and took in the masterpiece in the making. “Wow,” she told the little girl, who twisted her head up and smiled.

“Does it look good?” she asked innocently.

“Oh yeah,” Jenny replied slowly as she studied it closely, and there was nothing but truth in her eyes.

“Come color with me,” Claudia asked in a soft voice, making it sound more like a plea as she shifted her weight to one side to be able to reach up for Jenny’s hand.

“Okay,” she agreed as she took another couple of steps into the room to set a second bowl of grapes down next to Emma on the bed, before taking a seat across from the little girl.

“I finished the picture for Addy,” Claudia said as she reached for the paper beside her. “That’s me in the green shirt, and Addy’s in the yellow dress, because that’s the dress she was wearing today. We’re holding hands and smiling because the park is fun,” she explained before setting it aside and leaning over her new, still developing artwork. “And now I’m making a picture for you, and you can put it up if you want.”

“You’re making a picture for me?” Jenny asked quietly, unsure what to do with the warm feeling swirling around in her chest.

“Uh-huh,” she confirmed before uncapping a purple marker and handing it to Jenny. “We can make it together.” She then sat up and picked up her juice cup, holding it tightly with both hands as she brought it to her lips.

‘You would not believe how completely adorable the scene in front of me is right now,’ Emma wrote in the email she was about to send to Hotte.

A few minutes later, weary, heavy footsteps distinctive to one person in Jenny’s life sounded on the staircase. “Jenny, are you here?” Ben called tiredly as he reached the top of the stairs.

“Yeah,” she called back as she watched Claudia’s eyes blink up in surprise.

“I’m leaving soon, I just came back to change for-” he managed to say before reaching her room.

“Ben!” Claudia squeaked after looking up at the doorway. Jenny cleared a path free of markers for the little girl to barrel through, and twisted around to see her throw her arms around his waist.

“When did this happen?” Ben asked as he tossed his bag aside.

“Claude’s playdate didn’t feel well,” Emma supplied, since Claudia was too busy hopping up and down to answer. “It was a last-minute thing,” she added in order to heal the hurt look on his face at missing out on a day with her.

“But you feel okay, right monkey?” he asked the little girl, and then totally avoided making anything close to eye-contact with the other two people in the room, because since when did he care so much?

Claudia nodded proudly up at him with a smile that made her eyes sparkle.

“Well fu-…I mean, this…stinks,” he stuttered and blushed, remembering his self-imposed no-cursing rule around the little one. “I have to go to that stu-…silly date thing.”

“It’s just called a date, Ben,” Jenny offered cheekily as she gathered the markers back into their container, and grinned as she pictured the look he had pointed at the back of her head.

“You’re leaving?” Claudia asked in a suddenly sad voice as Ben hoisted her up to rest on his hip. “But you just came,” she reasoned as matching sadness settled in her innocent eyes. “And it’s dinner time soon, and then bed time,” she continued as her voice grew thicker with emotion. “You don’t have time to leave again.”

Emma shut her laptop and got up from the bed to help him out.

“Well don’t worry, it’ll be a very short date,” Ben replied lightly as a weird lump formed in his throat when he met those big, sad eyes.

“I still don’t want you to go,” Claudia murmured through a pout. Her brows furrowed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.

Ben brought his free hand up to the corners of his eyes to fight the mist that was settling there, sure that he’d developed some kind of strange dust allergy he wasn’t aware of having before.

“She’s tired,” Emma said to him quietly as the little girl brushed the back of her hand across her eyes. Somehow that made Ben even sadder.

“No!” the little girl cried with watery eyes when Ben tried to put her back down. She gripped onto his shirt when she felt hands on her waist.

“Claude, we’ll go downstairs so Ben can get ready, and then we can say goodbye to him before he leaves,” Emma spoke in a voice that managed to be assertive and soothing at the same time.

Jenny met Ben’s gaze and smiled sadly at him. Poor guy, she thought to herself. Ben never did handle sadness well.

“Do you want to hold my hand going down the stairs?” Emma asked patiently as she lowered Claudia to the floor. Claudia coughed up the beginning of a sob and sniffled unhappily as she nodded and reached up for Emma’s hand when they turned the corner to the staircase.

“She’s amazing,” Ben said to Jenny once they were out of ear shot. “Emma, I mean.” And Jenny smiled sweetly back at him. “Claude was on the brink of a full-on meltdown,” he continued in the same stunned tone as his palms turned upwards, still feeling how the little girl had shaken in his hold moments earlier.

“Yeah,” she replied with her gaze still on the spot where Emma had last been, but that one word didn’t begin to underline how amazing she knew Emma to be. She laced her hands together and smiled at that empty hallway space before remembering reality. “So you were going to…” she trailed off.

“Shower. Right. I’m going to be late,” he replied before huffing unhappily much like his favorite four-year-old.

“You guys are meeting early,” she noted as she looked up at the clock.

“Yeah, she mentioned something about a curfew.”

“Curfew?” she couldn’t help but echo as both of her eyebrows shot up. “How old is she?”

Ben made a face and playfully shoved her shoulder. “It’s her self-imposed curfew for first dates,” he clarified. “But knowing bankers’ daughters, she probably only set it so she could break it,” he added, looking, if possible, even unhappier about his evening plans than before.

“That’s what you get for being a bad boy,” Jenny offered between futile attempts to hold back her laughter at the grimace on his face.

Ben only dismissively rolled his eyes at the entire situation before making his way to his room.

Jenny picked up the plates from earlier and made her way downstairs.

Ben stepped off the staircase somewhat awkwardly when he saw Claudia slide down from her chair and skip away from her dinner, until she stood in front of him. “Ben,” she said to him in a cheerful tone, but her eyes were still sad. She slipped her small hand into his and led him to the table where Emma and Jenny sat.

“So what do you think?” he asked with his eyes on the little girl as he presented his outfit.

Claudia took a few steps back and bit the side of her lip as her brows furrowed. She walked around him slowly as she took in the outfit, before taking a big breath to compose herself. “You look good,” was her final verdict.

Ben shifted his weight, unsure of his next move until he looked at Emma. He set his keys on the table and kneeled down. “Can I have a hug goodbye?” he asked the little girl quietly, and caught just the beginning of the smile returning to her face before she launched into his arms.

“Oh, I have something for you!” she remembered suddenly, pushing him away a bit so she could duck under his arm and run back to her chair to get the present she’d prepared for him. She hid it behind her back until she stepped in front of him again, and then smiled as she presented the small flower she’d picked at the park earlier that day. “Have fun on your silly date thing,” she said as she pressed it to his shirt with the clear tape Jenny had found for her to use. She stepped away like a big girl, and her smile grew when Ben’s did too. She tilted her chin down shyly, with a hidden look in her eyes as though she’d known that that might make him smile. “Am I gonna see you soon?” she asked him quietly, revealing how difficult it was to act like a big kid all the time.

“Yeah,” Ben assured her after clearing his throat. He ruffled her hair and rose up to his feet to grab his keys from the table. “If I’m not back by eleven, call in for some backup,” he ordered with his finger pointed at Jenny, and she nodded dutifully in return. “After eleven, it’ll be too late to save me,” he mumbled, before high-fiving Claudia and heading toward the stairs.

“You did really well,” he heard Jenny say quietly as he made his way down the stairs to the front door.

“But I still don’t want him to go,” the little girl replied sadly before he shut the door behind him.

Claudia took one of Jenny’s hands and one of Emma’s, and tugged them both to the couch after she’d finished her food. As soon as they were seated side by side, she climbed up to sit on Emma’s lap and leaned against her in a silent request for a hug. She wiped at her eyes to fight off sleep, and then rested Emma’s hand on top of Jenny’s on the couch, because that’s what her parents did in the evenings. Jenny reached up with her free hand to touch her cheek, which made her smile. When Emma leaned forward to grab her beeping mobile from the coffee table a moment later, Claudia stared at the letters on the screen before twisting her head up to ask, “What does it say?” in a hushed voice.

“You’re getting picked up soon,” Emma told her. “They’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“But wait!” Claudia insisted as she scrambled off the couch to look at them both.

“What is it?” Jenny asked warmly as her fingers spread enough to let Emma’s slide between them.

Claudia yawned and rubbed at her heavy eyelids. “There’s something we have to do first before I can go,” she explained, before taking off in a run for the staircase.

“And that would be…?” Emma asked after her. She rested her tired head on the back cushion of the couch and waited for her to return. “Are you doing alright?” she quietly asked Jenny as Claudia disappeared upstairs.

“Yeah,” Jenny replied lovingly, before pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

Claudia ran until she reached the two items that she needed. She carefully lifted them from the desk in Jenny’s room and walked slowly back to the couch so as not to break their fragile frames. Once she set them safely behind her on the coffee table, she planted her feet firmly on the ground and assessed the situation.

Emma crossed her arms as her eyebrows quirked up, waiting for Claudia to explain herself.

The little girl yawned again before brushing the hair out of her face. “Okay,” she said as she rolled her shoulders back to stand up taller. She leaned forward and uncrossed Emma’s arms, resting one on the couch and the other back on top of Jenny’s. She then took a step back and cleared her throat. “Emma?” she asked, “Do you love Jenny lots and lots?”

A half-smile pulled across Emma’s lips as she looked strangely at her small cousin. “Yeah,” she answered with a frown, unsure why the little girl seemed to suddenly need reassurance of that fact.

“And Jenny,” Claudia continued, clasping her own hands together in front of her like her teacher did whenever she said important things. Jenny felt a giggle climb up her throat as the little girl’s strange tone started making sense, but she forced herself to stay serious. Claudia narrowed her eyes to make sure Jenny would tell her the truth as she asked, “Do you love Emma lots and lots?”

“Yes,” Jenny answered proudly, with a smile that lit up Claudia’s face too. “I do, very much.”

“Good,” Claudia decided with a deep nod of her head. She reached behind her for the flower crown Jenny had made at the park, and placed it carefully on Emma’s head. Then she reached for the flower necklace and put it around Jenny’s neck. Lastly, she placed both of her little hands on top of Jenny and Emma’s clasped ones. “And now you’re married,” she declared. “You can kiss,” she sang as she stepped back again to twirl in place. When she faced them again and they were both still sitting on the couch looking at her, she shifted her weight to her left foot and furrowed her brows. “Kiss!” she ordered, with her hands on her hips.

Emma leaned over and pressed a kiss to Jenny’s cheek, and heard her giggle softly.

“No, silly,” Claudia intervened, wondering how they’d ever get along without her. “You have to kiss her on the lips,” she clarified with a roll of her eyes, since it was becoming obvious that she’d have to teach them everything. “Otherwise it doesn’t count. Everyone knows that.”

“Oh, okay,” Emma played along to keep from rolling her own eyes. When her hand slid into its spot on the side of Jenny’s neck, her fingertips brushed along the front and back of her ear, and then happy blue eyes looked at her like this moment was special. She felt Jenny smile into the quick kiss they shared.

Claudia clapped excitedly, breaking their meager moment of bliss with one very long “Yaaaaay!” She was still busy twirling when two arms encircled her waist and pulled her back until she was squished on the couch between two of her favorite people. “Can we do this again tomorrow?” she asked with big, pleading eyes.

“You’re busy tomorrow, but you and I are hanging out later this week,” Emma answered smoothly.

“Do you promise?” Claudia pouted as she rubbed her tired eyes, leaving a hint of blush at the top of her cheeks.

“I hear the punishment for lying to the flower princess is pretty serious,” she replied as she took the slightly wilting crown from her head and placed it atop Claudia’s instead.

“It is,” Claudia agreed as she reached up to touch the small, silky petals. “And you’ll be there too?” she wondered with her eyes on Jenny before another yawn overtook her.

“Hopefully,” Jenny replied as she stroked back a few locks of wavy blonde hair from the young girl’s face.

Claudia’s eyes drooped heavily by the time the doorbell rang. She walked sleepily with her hand in Emma’s, making it safely down the stairs, and gratefully rested her head on her father’s shoulder once he picked her up. “Papa, I got to be a flower princess today,” she murmured to him before drifting off to sleep in his arms.

“Come on,” Jenny said softly once Emma closed the heavy front door behind them. “Dinner time,” she called warmly, stroking down the length of Emma’s arm to reach her hand as she lead her up to the kitchen.

“I’m exhausted,” Jenny confessed as she followed Emma into her bedroom.

“Well you did get married today,” Emma replied with a playful smile. She hid it well as she pulled her top up and over her head. “Can you hand me that shirt?” she asked, feeling the cool air in the room brush her bare skin.

“No,” Jenny replied behind her.

She turned to look at her incredulously. “No?” she echoed as she met playful blue eyes.

“No,” Jenny confirmed as she reached her hand out to shut the door behind them. “It’s our wedding night and I want you naked,” she announced as though she was commenting on the weather. Before she managed to click the door shut, they heard the bathroom door down the hall close loudly.

Emma’s eyes grew wide as her mouth fell open. She leapt through the short distance around the bed and pressed her hand to Jenny’s mouth as footsteps made their way down the hallway. She couldn’t suppress giggles from spilling from her lips, and felt a warm vibration from Jenny’s matching laughter from behind her hand.

“Goodnight,” Ben called to them in a flat, eye-rolling tone of voice, before shutting his bedroom door. Music soon spilled from his part of the house, and only then did Emma lower her hand from Jenny’s mouth.

“He heard you,” she pointed out unnecessarily.

Jenny only grinned in return, looking quite pleased with herself. “Come here, beautiful,” she murmured in a low, velvety voice as she wrapped her arms around Emma and pulled her close. For the second time that day, Emma thought to protest, but stopped when soft lips met her own, and then tongues, and soon she couldn’t be bothered to do much more than press herself closer when Jenny’s hands went exploring. As she fell back on the soft bed, a small white petal left over from the flower necklace Jenny had been wearing earlier floated down to land on her bare skin. She looked up to see Jenny looking at it too, and then those captivating blue eyes were on her, gazing at her like she meant the entire world. “My turn to sketch you,” Jenny said in a voice thick with suggestion, and Emma felt herself blush before hauling her down for a kiss.

Emma awoke with the first colors of day spilling through the blinds. She allowed herself a few long minutes to take in Jenny’s peaceful, sleeping form, before she reached for the sketchbook leaning against the bedside table. Careful not to wake her girlfriend, she moved to the foot of the bed with a pencil clutched in her grip. She gazed up to see how the soft light danced over the length of Jenny’s arm, up to the line of her collarbone, and disappeared past her chin. A smile stayed on her face as she let the sketchbook fall open on her unfinished sketch, and admitted to herself that it looked good as she brushed away a few small specks of eraser from the day before. Her pencil glided easily over lines already drawn, before beginning to create shadows and creases to bringing together one of the most captivating subjects she’d ever sketched.

She didn’t notice how time slipped by as she worked, but every once in a while she’d lift her gaze up to the girl still resting between the sheets. The picture came together slowly, and with more ease than she’d let herself believe would be possible. It still looked good, even to her ruthlessly critical eyes, and the smile that came from that realization was the first thing Jenny saw that morning.

Sitting up lazily, Jenny felt her muscles stretch sorely from the night before. Cool air touch her warm skin as the sheet pooled at her waist when she brushed the sleep out of her eyes. “Good morning,” she murmured at the tail-end of a yawn she hid behind her hand.

Emma’s eyes smiled at her before her lips had the chance, and she replied, “Morning,” with love in her voice.

“Can I see it?” Jenny asked when Emma looked back down at the sketchbook.

Emma only bit her lip and nodded. Jenny trailed across the bed until she was pressed up to Emma’s back, and her arms wrapped themselves around her waist. Emma positioned the sketchbook on her lap so that Jenny could see it, while her mind spun dizzily over the feeling of Jenny’s front pressed against her back, and the warm, tingling sensations it brought with it.

She waited patiently, appreciating the fact that Jenny knew to take her time with opinions when it came to her artwork. Her family and friends always told her it looked good after a second, but Jenny actually looked, following bare lines until they made up the crease around an eye, or the shading in the hair, or the curve of the lips that had taken her a few tries to master. She found herself following along where she thought Jenny might be looking, and held her breath.

Jenny pressed closer, until her hands loosely hugged Emma’s stomach, and rested rest her chin on Emma’s shoulder. An unfamiliar stir of emotions brewed inside of her as she saw herself through Emma’s eyes on that thick sketchbook paper.

“It-it’s not finished yet,” Emma couldn’t help but say, even though the gaps in the drawing spoke for themselves. Having given into her built-in shyness, she could suddenly only focus on the lines that seemed out of place, and the places she had left to finish.

Jenny squeezed her lightly and pressed a kiss to her neck. “It’s amazing,” she whispered lovingly. She decided that she very much liked seeing herself through Emma’s eyes like this, like she was getting to see little, indescribable things that she’d never noticed before, little pieces of herself that lay somewhere far deeper than her skin. She looked strong, and daring, and resilient, like she’d looked both life and death head-on, and still had a smile to share, just like Emma would point out to her sometimes. She bit her lip as she looked closer still, and pressed a kiss to Emma’s shoulder when she took in the quiet happiness Emma had shown in thin pencil lines. Emma had a way of combining stories and memories and events into those lines, so that the sketch seemed more like a road map of where they’d been if you looked at it carefully. Is that really how you see me? she wanted to ask, but she could already guess Emma’s answer. Even with the goose bumps that raced across her bare skin, she felt warm seeing how much she meant to the person beside her.

It was a breathtaking thing to feel.

Emma relaxed in the arms that held her. “You’re stunning,” she whispered over her shoulder, and it seemed to Jenny as though she’d never really understood what Emma had meant by that until that moment. “I really do like sketching you,” she said, unable to stop that devilish smile from slipping into her words. In a fluid motion, she placed her sketchbook aside and twisted around to pin Jenny to the bed, leaving Jenny to laugh in surprise beneath her. She looked down smugly, with a smile both shy and teasing on her lips.

“The sketch is incredible,” Jenny reiterated as she brushed the hair away from Emma’s eyes. Her smile spread when she saw that look again in those truthful light eyes, the one that always came out to remind her that this, them, was something special, and precious, and real.

“You’re incredible,” Emma corrected, and her whole face lit up when Jenny stuck her tongue out cheekily in reply.

But it was clear to Jenny when she looked at that sketch how she’d changed from who she’d been in her shattered past. Rare blush rose up to her cheeks under Emma’s gaze like that, as she began to believe those words. “You’re not like anyone else in the whole world,” she heard herself say, just before the sun slipped out from behind the clouds, and its soft yellow beams highlighted Emma’s skin, making her look angelic.

Emma hid her dreamy smile when she buried her face in Jenny’s shoulder and snuggled into her side. “Can we stay here forever?” she whispered so no one would hear and interrupt them, and let her eyes close when Jenny’s arms wrapped around her. Her lazy smile fell as her mobile rang from somewhere beside the bed, and Jenny couldn’t help but laugh. “No,” Emma answered her own question as she rose up on her elbow and pressed a kiss to Jenny’s cheek. “Of course not,” she grumbled as she leaned over Jenny to reach her bag. “That would be far too easy.”

Jenny rolled onto her side and pressed a long kiss to Emma’s bare shoulder. I’m so in love with you, she said to her silently.

Emma sighed before nearing the phone to her ear. “Hi, Mama.”