Never Say Goodbye
Title: Never Say Goodbye
Pairing: Sehun/Luhan
Word Count: 1,791
Genre: Romance, Fluff
Rating: PG
Summary: Sehun has separation anxiety and Luhan leaves little notes trying to soothe the other's soul.
03:02 am
He feels the bed dip just enough to know who it is but he still remains silent, not stirring a bit to let the other know that he is awake. Sehun shuts his eyes tight and he listens quietly. He hears the steady breathing of Luhan who is lying right next to him. He can feel it tickling the back of his neck too. Sehun also tries his best not to show he is awake when he feels Luhan’s slender fingers trace his arm, going slowly back and forth from his wrist to his elbow in a soothing motion, like he is leaving something.
“I’ll be back.” Luhan murmurs. He really does mean it, it’s there promise that no matter what they will be back to one another.
They’ve known for a while that this was going to be hard and so they never say goodbye because that bye isn’t as sweet and as good for them as it should be. Luhan always manages to come back to Sehun.
But saying that he’ll be back doesn’t make it any less painful than it already is.
Sehun’s lips burn for Luhan’s soothing ones, the lips that will put out the fire and that will ignite it at the same time but its better this way. At least that is what Sehun believes as he feels Luhan leave his side and he hears him shut the door as quietly as he can.
一( one )
It’s around noon when Sehun finds the first small piece of paper that has been folded ever so neatly. He’s rummaging around the laundry room, looking for one of his shirts that he remembered Luhan had worn a couple of weeks ago. His favorite part of this memory is the fact that Luhan looked extremely good in it and that’s something he’d always want to cherish.
Something compels Sehun to check the pockets of the black pants in front of him and as he fishes around in the pocket, he finds the piece of paper. He looks at it for a while, seeing as how neat and fresh it looks and then he finally decides to open it, reading it.
我只是想看看你，想你每一天
(I just want to look at you, think about you ever day)
Sehun chuckles because he’d know that handwriting anywhere. It screamed Luhan. It is the cheesiness that he loved about him. With that, Sehun takes the piece of paper and slowly folds it up neatly just like how he had found it and he places it in the breast pocket of his shirt, trying to keep it as close to his heart as he can.
He pulls out his phone and quickly texts Luhan.
To: Luhan
you’re cheesy, you know that right?
And with not a minute to spare, he gets a fast reply and he feels the buzz in his hand.
From: Luhan
I try but only for you.
二( two )
It’s around midnight when Sehun finds the next slip of paper and this time it is under his pillow. The night time has always been the hardest for him when Luhan is away. When he isn’t constantly thinking because he is always moving and doing something in the day, he cannot really focus on panging in his heart that he feels. When he is constantly moving through the day, he doesn’t really have that longing, that burning in his fingertips to grace Luhan’s soft and firm skin, to caress him. During the day, his tongue doesn’t crave the familiar taste of Luhan as much as he craves it at night.
He’s staring into the dark and he listens quietly to nothing in particular. He can hear the faint snores coming from Jongin’s bed and the occasional tossing and turning from him as well. Sehun feels more restless than he has ever felt before and if he could, he would take as many sleeping pills as it took to put him into the deepest sleep so he couldn’t have to worry anymore, so he wouldn’t have to be on edge.
He likes to think that everything is alright and things are going to be okay but Sehun is a realist and sometimes he can’t be an optimist with such a word that they live in.
Sehun takes a deep breath, whispering to himself.
He’ll be back, He’ll be back, he’ll be back.
It’s this chant that sort of soothes him, that makes him feel better like a nice glass of warm milk. Sometimes he believes it, but sometimes he doesn’t because he feels that one day, Luhan may never come back.
As he turns over onto his stomach, he moves around, placing his one hand under his pillow and the other to his side. His hand meets a small piece of paper. It is folded ever so nicely and the paper is white as snow. Sehun holds it in his hand as he sits up and leans over his head, rummaging to find his phone. He faintly hears Jongin moving on his bed and murmuring something but he doesn’t pay any mind to it.
When Sehun has his phone, he begins to open the piece of paper and he holds his phone up to it, acting as a light and so he reads:
我绝不会允许任何人伤害你。
(I would never allow anyone to hurt you.)
Sehun doesn’t know whether to cry or to smile. Being apart has always been the hardest but when things like this happen, somehow it tends to make it much easier than it is before. He wants to text Luhan an “I love you” but Sehun knows that Luhan already knows that.
It’s things like this that makes Sehun feel safer , that makes it seem all worth it and much more bearable.
Sehun turns off his phone and he places it at the end of the bed. Finally settling down, Sehun lays down. Sehun stares into the darkest and he traces over Luhan’s neat handwriting that he has become so fond of, that he has learned to cherish.
“Are you alright?” He hears the sleep in Jongin’s voice. He feels somewhat bad for waking him up because he knows how much of a light sleeper that he is.
“Yeah, I’m great.” And he is. Sehun feels just a little bit better than yesterday. He closes his eyes and clutches the paper in his hand, welcoming sleep to overtake him.
三 ( three )
Separation anxiety is nothing new to Sehun at all. He has had it since he was little. When his parents would drop him off to school, he’d cling to them begging for them to take him home. He would promise to be the best boy that he could be in order to stay home with them. As much as he begged, it never worked. Sehun had to learn to get used to others and learn how to grow. And he did learn that much. He learned how to deal with it better. That is until he met Luhan.
He doesn’t know why he is so nervous but he is. His palms are sweaty and he’s rubbing them together. Sehun is trying to stay still but nothing works.
They are in the airport waiting for EXO-K’s other half to come to them. It seems like it’s been years to Sehun but in fact, it has only been a couple of weeks and no matter what, it will always be hard. Sehun is wearing his favorite jacket. It’s a light dusty grey pea coat. And it isn’t just his favorite because Luhan bought it for him for his past birthday. It’s his favorite because it is comfortable and warm enough just for him.
Who is he kidding? No one because yes, it is his favorite jacket just because Luhan bought it for him.
“Chill, will you?” He hears from behind him.
It’s Jongin.
“He is going to be here soon, you know?” And Jongin has always been so supportive, so welcoming to them but sometimes Sehun doesn’t think that he understands.
“I know.” Sehun replies curtly, not batting an eye, not even looking over to Jongin who is now across from him. Sehun doesn’t catch the grown on Jongin’s face. Before he can really say anything, Jongin walks off to where Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are.
Trying to take his mind off of things, he fishes in his pocket for his phone. He doesn’t exactly pull out his phone but he does pull out a small piece of paper. Sehun can’t hold back his grin this time and he hurriedly opens it and reads it lowly to himself:
不要紧，我在哪里，只要我和你在一起，到处是天堂。
(It does not matter where I am, as long as I am with you everywhere is paradise.)
He read it over and over again, putting Luhan’s soft voice with it. Sehun pretends that he can hear Luhan saying it the exact words that are on this piece of paper. He pretends that Luhan is right next to him as he whispers these sweet nothings into his ear, reassuring him of everything that seemed impossible is now possible.
“Miss me?” Sehun hears and he is automatically broken from his train of thought. Usually when he is deep in thought, he’d hate for it to be broken but right now, he’s glad it was broken because of who broke it.
It’s Luhan. He looks a little bit disheveled and tired but Sehun remembers his mother saying something ‘If you cannot accept them at their worst, you surely don’t deserve them at their best.’ But to Sehun, Luhan looks beautiful. The lack of extra make up to perfect his face. He sees the circles under his eyes and he knows just how real he is and this isn’t a dream.
Luhan walks up to him, dropping his carry-on next to him and he just looks at him, giving this goofy smile that just makes Sehun’s heart melt into the biggest pile of goo.
“Hello.” Luhan says to him, taking Sehun’s hand into his, massaging small circles into his wrist, trying to get him to relax.
“Hi.” Sehun replies. This time this greeting is easier because they aren’t departing. It is easier because now they aren’t these two wondering souls. This time isn’t easier because they are connected. They never say goodbye because they know that they will always wind up together again, even if they are searching blindly for one another. It will happen.
a/n: I apologize for the lack of good mandarin use. I kind of...dropped out of my mandarin class and so I felt that I had to use something. So I used google translate! I really apologize in advance! I felt that it was necessary to have the mandarin because it plays a big part in it.
My friends and I on twitter have been recently saying that hunhan's song is "Into Your World". I was compelled to use these lyrics. I hope you enjoyed it!
Also, I apologize for the formatting and I don't know why LJ decides to be a bag of dicks when I try to separate things so they aren't so closely packed together. SORRY!
Pairing: Sehun/Luhan
Word Count: 1,791
Genre: Romance, Fluff
Rating: PG
Summary: Sehun has separation anxiety and Luhan leaves little notes trying to soothe the other's soul.
03:02 am
He feels the bed dip just enough to know who it is but he still remains silent, not stirring a bit to let the other know that he is awake. Sehun shuts his eyes tight and he listens quietly. He hears the steady breathing of Luhan who is lying right next to him. He can feel it tickling the back of his neck too. Sehun also tries his best not to show he is awake when he feels Luhan’s slender fingers trace his arm, going slowly back and forth from his wrist to his elbow in a soothing motion, like he is leaving something.
“I’ll be back.” Luhan murmurs. He really does mean it, it’s there promise that no matter what they will be back to one another.
They’ve known for a while that this was going to be hard and so they never say goodbye because that bye isn’t as sweet and as good for them as it should be. Luhan always manages to come back to Sehun.
But saying that he’ll be back doesn’t make it any less painful than it already is.
Sehun’s lips burn for Luhan’s soothing ones, the lips that will put out the fire and that will ignite it at the same time but its better this way. At least that is what Sehun believes as he feels Luhan leave his side and he hears him shut the door as quietly as he can.
一( one )
It’s around noon when Sehun finds the first small piece of paper that has been folded ever so neatly. He’s rummaging around the laundry room, looking for one of his shirts that he remembered Luhan had worn a couple of weeks ago. His favorite part of this memory is the fact that Luhan looked extremely good in it and that’s something he’d always want to cherish.
Something compels Sehun to check the pockets of the black pants in front of him and as he fishes around in the pocket, he finds the piece of paper. He looks at it for a while, seeing as how neat and fresh it looks and then he finally decides to open it, reading it.
我只是想看看你，想你每一天
(I just want to look at you, think about you ever day)
Sehun chuckles because he’d know that handwriting anywhere. It screamed Luhan. It is the cheesiness that he loved about him. With that, Sehun takes the piece of paper and slowly folds it up neatly just like how he had found it and he places it in the breast pocket of his shirt, trying to keep it as close to his heart as he can.
He pulls out his phone and quickly texts Luhan.
To: Luhan
you’re cheesy, you know that right?
And with not a minute to spare, he gets a fast reply and he feels the buzz in his hand.
From: Luhan
I try but only for you.
二( two )
It’s around midnight when Sehun finds the next slip of paper and this time it is under his pillow. The night time has always been the hardest for him when Luhan is away. When he isn’t constantly thinking because he is always moving and doing something in the day, he cannot really focus on panging in his heart that he feels. When he is constantly moving through the day, he doesn’t really have that longing, that burning in his fingertips to grace Luhan’s soft and firm skin, to caress him. During the day, his tongue doesn’t crave the familiar taste of Luhan as much as he craves it at night.
He’s staring into the dark and he listens quietly to nothing in particular. He can hear the faint snores coming from Jongin’s bed and the occasional tossing and turning from him as well. Sehun feels more restless than he has ever felt before and if he could, he would take as many sleeping pills as it took to put him into the deepest sleep so he couldn’t have to worry anymore, so he wouldn’t have to be on edge.
He likes to think that everything is alright and things are going to be okay but Sehun is a realist and sometimes he can’t be an optimist with such a word that they live in.
Sehun takes a deep breath, whispering to himself.
He’ll be back, He’ll be back, he’ll be back.
It’s this chant that sort of soothes him, that makes him feel better like a nice glass of warm milk. Sometimes he believes it, but sometimes he doesn’t because he feels that one day, Luhan may never come back.
As he turns over onto his stomach, he moves around, placing his one hand under his pillow and the other to his side. His hand meets a small piece of paper. It is folded ever so nicely and the paper is white as snow. Sehun holds it in his hand as he sits up and leans over his head, rummaging to find his phone. He faintly hears Jongin moving on his bed and murmuring something but he doesn’t pay any mind to it.
When Sehun has his phone, he begins to open the piece of paper and he holds his phone up to it, acting as a light and so he reads:
我绝不会允许任何人伤害你。
(I would never allow anyone to hurt you.)
Sehun doesn’t know whether to cry or to smile. Being apart has always been the hardest but when things like this happen, somehow it tends to make it much easier than it is before. He wants to text Luhan an “I love you” but Sehun knows that Luhan already knows that.
It’s things like this that makes Sehun feel safer , that makes it seem all worth it and much more bearable.
Sehun turns off his phone and he places it at the end of the bed. Finally settling down, Sehun lays down. Sehun stares into the darkest and he traces over Luhan’s neat handwriting that he has become so fond of, that he has learned to cherish.
“Are you alright?” He hears the sleep in Jongin’s voice. He feels somewhat bad for waking him up because he knows how much of a light sleeper that he is.
“Yeah, I’m great.” And he is. Sehun feels just a little bit better than yesterday. He closes his eyes and clutches the paper in his hand, welcoming sleep to overtake him.
三 ( three )
Separation anxiety is nothing new to Sehun at all. He has had it since he was little. When his parents would drop him off to school, he’d cling to them begging for them to take him home. He would promise to be the best boy that he could be in order to stay home with them. As much as he begged, it never worked. Sehun had to learn to get used to others and learn how to grow. And he did learn that much. He learned how to deal with it better. That is until he met Luhan.
He doesn’t know why he is so nervous but he is. His palms are sweaty and he’s rubbing them together. Sehun is trying to stay still but nothing works.
They are in the airport waiting for EXO-K’s other half to come to them. It seems like it’s been years to Sehun but in fact, it has only been a couple of weeks and no matter what, it will always be hard. Sehun is wearing his favorite jacket. It’s a light dusty grey pea coat. And it isn’t just his favorite because Luhan bought it for him for his past birthday. It’s his favorite because it is comfortable and warm enough just for him.
Who is he kidding? No one because yes, it is his favorite jacket just because Luhan bought it for him.
“Chill, will you?” He hears from behind him.
It’s Jongin.
“He is going to be here soon, you know?” And Jongin has always been so supportive, so welcoming to them but sometimes Sehun doesn’t think that he understands.
“I know.” Sehun replies curtly, not batting an eye, not even looking over to Jongin who is now across from him. Sehun doesn’t catch the grown on Jongin’s face. Before he can really say anything, Jongin walks off to where Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are.
Trying to take his mind off of things, he fishes in his pocket for his phone. He doesn’t exactly pull out his phone but he does pull out a small piece of paper. Sehun can’t hold back his grin this time and he hurriedly opens it and reads it lowly to himself:
不要紧，我在哪里，只要我和你在一起，到处是天堂。
(It does not matter where I am, as long as I am with you everywhere is paradise.)
He read it over and over again, putting Luhan’s soft voice with it. Sehun pretends that he can hear Luhan saying it the exact words that are on this piece of paper. He pretends that Luhan is right next to him as he whispers these sweet nothings into his ear, reassuring him of everything that seemed impossible is now possible.
“Miss me?” Sehun hears and he is automatically broken from his train of thought. Usually when he is deep in thought, he’d hate for it to be broken but right now, he’s glad it was broken because of who broke it.
It’s Luhan. He looks a little bit disheveled and tired but Sehun remembers his mother saying something ‘If you cannot accept them at their worst, you surely don’t deserve them at their best.’ But to Sehun, Luhan looks beautiful. The lack of extra make up to perfect his face. He sees the circles under his eyes and he knows just how real he is and this isn’t a dream.
Luhan walks up to him, dropping his carry-on next to him and he just looks at him, giving this goofy smile that just makes Sehun’s heart melt into the biggest pile of goo.
“Hello.” Luhan says to him, taking Sehun’s hand into his, massaging small circles into his wrist, trying to get him to relax.
“Hi.” Sehun replies. This time this greeting is easier because they aren’t departing. It is easier because now they aren’t these two wondering souls. This time isn’t easier because they are connected. They never say goodbye because they know that they will always wind up together again, even if they are searching blindly for one another. It will happen.
a/n: I apologize for the lack of good mandarin use. I kind of...dropped out of my mandarin class and so I felt that I had to use something. So I used google translate! I really apologize in advance! I felt that it was necessary to have the mandarin because it plays a big part in it.
My friends and I on twitter have been recently saying that hunhan's song is "Into Your World". I was compelled to use these lyrics. I hope you enjoyed it!
Also, I apologize for the formatting and I don't know why LJ decides to be a bag of dicks when I try to separate things so they aren't so closely packed together. SORRY!