You’re not really missing if no one is looking for you... [Hedge Witches AU series]
"I'm looking for you in the woods tonight, I'm looking, looking for you with my flashlight, I'm searching"
Fandom: The Magicians
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***
Quentin didn’t know where he was.
He was laying on his back, the diffuse earthy scent of wet clay and the cool, humid soil under him carrying little familiarity, if a vague distant feeling of nostalgia that felt somewhat alien. As if it was someone else feeling rather than his own. If anything, this wasn’t the weirdest thing to ever happen to him, especially not in the last year. At least there were no dead bodies, so there was that. But he knew it wasn’t a good place to be either. Quentin Coldwater, after all, was a name known in places he’d rather wish it wasn’t. But he wasn’t in pain, so that was good and he didn’t seem to be in immediate danger, which, also good. On another hand though, he couldn’t remember how he’d got here, of where here was. And that was probably bad. He had to swallow down his first instinct, to call for Julia, something old and deep always reaching out for her first even when it was pretty obvious it wouldn’t help. Maybe Julia was here too, but he couldn’t feel her and it was too big a risk - after all, making noises wasn’t wise when one didn’t know where he was. If she was here, Jules would tell him to shut the fuck up anyway, for both their sakes and she would probably get off her ass. Quentin slowly got himself off the ground and back on his feet, his head spinning as he got up, swaying a little bit before his hand found a tree to secure himself until the feeling passed. So the trees were real. That was something. Probably. Hopefully.
He didn’t feel scared, but that could be good just like it could be bad. Maybe this was where he was supposed to be. Maybe something he did, something he didn’t do. He couldn’t remember, right? So it could be anything.
(“Maybe you deserve this.”)
“Whatever.” He whispered, ignoring the stupid thought in the back of his head.
It wasn’t the first time this thought came, and it wouldn’t be the last. Quentin wasn’t going to let it fuck with him here. He had to make it home somehow, someway, and listening to this shit wasn’t going to help.
(“Not like anything you do ever help really…”)
He sighed, looking around, finally paying attention to the place. The umbrage of the trees gave a shadowy aspect to his surrounding, despite the light gleaming through some sparse gaps between the leaves. I was hard to tell where the light came from, ethereal and barely enough to leave him in complete obscurity amongst the trees. The slight wind made the bits of light dance on the ground as the branches moved slowly, and Quentin breathed in and out with the movements, trying to focus. His mind was scattered, but he could feel himself more anchored as he breathed.
Alice would be proud. Maybe. Or she wouldn’t care, Quentin had a hard time telling which it was sometimes.
(“You’re not really missing if no one is looking for you.”) It sneered again in the back of his mind, familiar, smothering thoughts he pushed away again.
He was forgetting something. He wasn’t sure what (who?) but he could feel the missing spots in his mind. Quentin knew he had to do something but he wasn’t sure what, not until a tingle in his left hand, pin and needles, warm, uncomfortable but not painful.
“Oh.” He breathed as he watched the lines around his fingers, around his wrist and suddenly the prickling sensation spread to his entire arm, following the cluster of lines he remembered were there, like an intriguing network. Some of the usually black ink was golden, almost shining.
“This is new.” He said circumspectly, but there was growing elation underneath the fading daze.
He could feel it now, the link thrumming lightly under his skin like almost like another heartbeat. He had to reach back, he knew the signs, though it felt clumsy to be on this end of it when it was usually the other way around. Quentin was almost glad Penny wasn’t physically here to see it (yet) because the tall little shit would have a field day with how badly he was fucking it up right now. Which, joke on him anyway because who was looking for Quentin? So which one of them was the bigger fool here?
(Probably both of them, Kady would say, but Quentin wasn’t about to ask her.)
The haziness of his mind wasn’t going away completely - whether it was from a spell or the forest itself he couldn’t say - but he had to try twice has hard to not forget what he was doing and why. Penny. He had to remember. Penny was reaching out, and he had to reach back. He was going to ace this fucking sign if it was the last thing he was doing.
Things were slipping away but he wouldn't let go. People were easier to hold onto. Julia, and ironically Penny the brightest ones, so very real in the mist of confusion. Maybe that what it meant, when people said there was a before and after with certain people in your life. A before Julia, a before magic.
A before Penny too.
An anomaly maybe, this strange bond with Penny. So many other timelines, other loops, where Penny and him probably didn’t really connect - maybe more of those than of this, considering neither of them were good at connecting with anyone - but this was not one of those.
He could almost hear the worried disgruntlement in his mind the moment the Traveler's mind found his.
He hadn’t been the one searching, but he was found all the same.
Fandom: The Magicians
***
***
Quentin didn’t know where he was.
He was laying on his back, the diffuse earthy scent of wet clay and the cool, humid soil under him carrying little familiarity, if a vague distant feeling of nostalgia that felt somewhat alien. As if it was someone else feeling rather than his own. If anything, this wasn’t the weirdest thing to ever happen to him, especially not in the last year. At least there were no dead bodies, so there was that. But he knew it wasn’t a good place to be either. Quentin Coldwater, after all, was a name known in places he’d rather wish it wasn’t. But he wasn’t in pain, so that was good and he didn’t seem to be in immediate danger, which, also good. On another hand though, he couldn’t remember how he’d got here, of where here was. And that was probably bad. He had to swallow down his first instinct, to call for Julia, something old and deep always reaching out for her first even when it was pretty obvious it wouldn’t help. Maybe Julia was here too, but he couldn’t feel her and it was too big a risk - after all, making noises wasn’t wise when one didn’t know where he was. If she was here, Jules would tell him to shut the fuck up anyway, for both their sakes and she would probably get off her ass. Quentin slowly got himself off the ground and back on his feet, his head spinning as he got up, swaying a little bit before his hand found a tree to secure himself until the feeling passed. So the trees were real. That was something. Probably. Hopefully.
He didn’t feel scared, but that could be good just like it could be bad. Maybe this was where he was supposed to be. Maybe something he did, something he didn’t do. He couldn’t remember, right? So it could be anything.
(“Maybe you deserve this.”)
“Whatever.” He whispered, ignoring the stupid thought in the back of his head.
It wasn’t the first time this thought came, and it wouldn’t be the last. Quentin wasn’t going to let it fuck with him here. He had to make it home somehow, someway, and listening to this shit wasn’t going to help.
(“Not like anything you do ever help really…”)
He sighed, looking around, finally paying attention to the place. The umbrage of the trees gave a shadowy aspect to his surrounding, despite the light gleaming through some sparse gaps between the leaves. I was hard to tell where the light came from, ethereal and barely enough to leave him in complete obscurity amongst the trees. The slight wind made the bits of light dance on the ground as the branches moved slowly, and Quentin breathed in and out with the movements, trying to focus. His mind was scattered, but he could feel himself more anchored as he breathed.
Alice would be proud. Maybe. Or she wouldn’t care, Quentin had a hard time telling which it was sometimes.
(“You’re not really missing if no one is looking for you.”) It sneered again in the back of his mind, familiar, smothering thoughts he pushed away again.
He was forgetting something. He wasn’t sure what (who?) but he could feel the missing spots in his mind. Quentin knew he had to do something but he wasn’t sure what, not until a tingle in his left hand, pin and needles, warm, uncomfortable but not painful.
“Oh.” He breathed as he watched the lines around his fingers, around his wrist and suddenly the prickling sensation spread to his entire arm, following the cluster of lines he remembered were there, like an intriguing network. Some of the usually black ink was golden, almost shining.
“This is new.” He said circumspectly, but there was growing elation underneath the fading daze.
He could feel it now, the link thrumming lightly under his skin like almost like another heartbeat. He had to reach back, he knew the signs, though it felt clumsy to be on this end of it when it was usually the other way around. Quentin was almost glad Penny wasn’t physically here to see it (yet) because the tall little shit would have a field day with how badly he was fucking it up right now. Which, joke on him anyway because who was looking for Quentin? So which one of them was the bigger fool here?
(Probably both of them, Kady would say, but Quentin wasn’t about to ask her.)
The haziness of his mind wasn’t going away completely - whether it was from a spell or the forest itself he couldn’t say - but he had to try twice has hard to not forget what he was doing and why. Penny. He had to remember. Penny was reaching out, and he had to reach back. He was going to ace this fucking sign if it was the last thing he was doing.
Things were slipping away but he wouldn't let go. People were easier to hold onto. Julia, and ironically Penny the brightest ones, so very real in the mist of confusion. Maybe that what it meant, when people said there was a before and after with certain people in your life. A before Julia, a before magic.
A before Penny too.
An anomaly maybe, this strange bond with Penny. So many other timelines, other loops, where Penny and him probably didn’t really connect - maybe more of those than of this, considering neither of them were good at connecting with anyone - but this was not one of those.
He could almost hear the worried disgruntlement in his mind the moment the Traveler's mind found his.
He hadn’t been the one searching, but he was found all the same.