you know who you are..
Just so you know Im sorry and I never meant to make you mad
but please just try to understand me sometimes....
I have never experienced so many mixed emotions in my life towards one person...and I certainly have never let such little things upset me, and I don't know why I am letting this person get to me...
yes it is a boy...gotta love them and gotta hate them....but in this situation, I can't figure myself out...gah I just wish people could jump in my body and experience things through my eyes just for like 5 minutes!!! I think differently than I act and it all backfires on me! The things I get mad at, Im not really mad at in my mind...its weird...maybe I do it for reassurance, who knows...but its always been a problem for me and now the reaction I am getting from him breaks me down everytime...I feel such harsh vibes from the way he replys when I am honestly just trying to make things better...like I get so mad that I could hate him forever, but the thing is I don't think he understands how bad it hurts my feelings...because he only sees it as me getting upset over petty things and being spoiled...yeah, I was spoiled in my past relationship...but it was only because my ex wanted to understand me and he never gave up, or let it out, or vent on me when ever it got to him...and thats just what I am used to...he learned that I get stressed and I get upset easily and I get mad over stupid stuff, but he also learned that if you just ignore it and continue to be there and be understanding that it will blow over much faster than if you were to hold it against me!
Mainly my problem is that I have never been really close to males in my life, but for some reason I depend on them a lot, I like to have boyfriends, and I like to feel cared for, but I never know how to connect with them on a level of complete understanding.
But the way it ends, always shows you how much they care....