Losing time [2/2]
Sunggyu’s packing last night’s dinner into lunch boxes: one for him and one for his brother. Myungsoo’s been busy with shoots and his own studies, business to appease the parents that unlike Sunggyu, Myungsoo had a knack for.
Sunggyu’s got some time. For once all his readings are done except this one short passage that he can finish up later and there aren’t any papers he hasn’t completed except the one that’s due at the end of the semester. Sunggyu originally worked with less sleep so the extra time he now allocated to making sure he himself was well fed, and making sure his brother didn’t get into trouble.
“Hyung, that smells good. I didn’t know you cooked.”
Sunggyu breathes out a chuckle, memories he doesn’t want resurfacing coming to mind. “Not really, just something I picked up.”
Myungsoo takes care to set his camera bag on the table before collapsing with a plop on the couch.
“Myungsoo,” Sunggyu starts, not exactly sure how the topic came to mind but they needed to talk about it sooner or later. “What are you going to do about mom and dad, and the company?”
His brother turns his gaze away and sneaks out a tongue to the side of his mouth. “Make them happy, finish my studies and make sure that I’m not taking over the company just because I’m the president’s son. I need to prove that I’m capable of it. And after that, and only after that, will I show them that my sexual orientation has nothing to do with anything.”
“After you’ve seized control of the company?” Sunggyu replies with a chuckle, no offense intended.
Myungsoo laughs. “Yeah, I guess. But I want to do it in a way that will allow dad to take it back if he wants to. So he can drop me if he wants, but only after I prove that I can do it.”
Sunggyu smiles fondly at his little brother, determination practically radiating from the boy on the couch.
“I want to show dad what he’s lost, what he and mom lost when they threw you out of the house.”
“Myungsoo-”
“You don’t get it, hyung.”
Myungsoo turns his almond eyes on him and it makes Sunggyu wonder how they’re even related. His brother’s gazes are captivating, his looks rivalling any model and the only thing that connects them are their last names.
“The only reason I didn’t lose it was cause of you.”
“I- what?”
“You were always there for me. Always, when we were kids, even when we were arguing as teens. You always had my back and took the blame for everything cause you thought mom and dad would think less of me. Like it didn’t matter what they thought of you-”
“It didn’t.”
“It did! It does,” Myungsoo replies, “they’re our parents, and I hate it when they disregard you and talk bullshit about things that I know are wrong. Mom and dad don’t know you, because everything they think that was wrong with you is actually me.”
Myungsoo’s voice wavers and Sunggyu stays quiet, letting the silence stretch on. Myungsoo’s wrong, completely wrong but maybe not entirely and Sunggyu doesn’t have the heart to say otherwise. So he just moves, goes and sits beside his brother and pulls him into a hug and they have their moment.
The topic doesn’t come up again.
It’s somewhere past nine when Sunggyu gets in that night and Myungsoo’s already home, going through pictures on his dSLR. Sunggyu drops a bag of groceries on the counter and moves to go to his room but doesn’t get there.
“Some guy dropped by asking for you, hyung.”
Myungsoo has Sunggyu’s full attention without even knowing it, and the younger looks up with amused eyes as Sunggyu sucks in a breath.
“He was pretty good looking. Short, brown hair and bangs, goofy smile, small eyes? Bigger than yours though, but everyone’s eyes are bigger than yours. He looked surprised to see me, so I just played along. Is he an ex?”
Way to get right to the point. Myungsoo’s always been straight forward.
“What did he say?”
Myungsoo shrugs, the smirk still plastered on his face and Sunggyu swallows and breathes to calm himself down.
“Nothing much. Just asked if you still lived here. I decided to play the jealous boyfriend-”
“Myungsoo!”
“Without actually using the word boyfriend or anything else that would label us as lovers, cause ew.”
Sunggyu decides to wipe the grin off his brother’s face by smacking him with a pillow. Hard.
Sunggyu finds that he doesn’t have to rush off after work anymore. Most of the time he has at least two hours before his next class so he hangs around with Sungjong even when he’s officially off duty
“Hyung, you look good.”
Sunggyu arches a brow because for one, he may be gay and Sungjong may look like it too, but the younger boy is not. Or at least he’s pretty sure he isn’t. Not every flamboyant male is gay and Sunggyu would know, but there is the occasion where Sungjong makes him want to retract his statement.
“Seriously. You’re healthy again and your eye bags are practically gone!”
“Healthy?” Sunggyu repeats. How the hell would Sungjong know about his diet? Not like he lived with the boy.
“You know. Your cheeks aren’t sunken in anymore and your skin is practically glowing. Did you and Woohyun get back together?”
Sunggyu drops his eyes before cursing in his head. Way to make it obvious, idiot.
“Why does it have to be Woohyun that I’d be together with? Can’t I be with someone else that makes me happy?”
Sunggyu hates how strained his voice comes out, how blatant it is that he’s lying and all Sunggyu has is his pride so no emotion slips into his facial expression.
“Uh, well you could. I guess, but you were really happy with Woohyun, is all,” Sungjong squeaks as Min yells at him from the cash register.
Sunggyu moves to leave and comes face-to-face with Dongwoo who he hasn’t seen in ages. Dongwoo’s smile is still contagious as is his laughter and Sunggyu finds himself back in his seat with his friend sitting opposite.
“I’m glad I got here in time. Woohyun says you don’t stay a minute after four o’clock but I’m glad I dropped by anyway.”
It’s four twenty-seven but Sunggyu decides to keep that fact to himself. He’s more distracted by the mention of Woohyun’s name, and it takes his all not to interrogate his friend.
(How is he? Is he doing well? How are his studies? Does he like his astronomy course? Is he eating well? Sleeping well? He’s taking care of himself, right? Still working out like always?)
“What’s up?” he ends up going with, fiddling with a loose strand on his sleeve.
“Nothing much, just wanted to see how you were doing. Good, it seems.”
Dongwoo almost looks proud and Sunggyu lifts his brows in question.
“Woohyun worries about you. He’s saying you probably died in the corner of the library with a book in your hands so that no one would know to disturb you. Then he proceeds to curse our twenty four hour library and huffs out and tells me he’s going out when I know he’s going to the exact library to make sure you haven’t fallen into a coma or something.”
Sunggyu isn’t sure what to say and Dongwoo pats his arm.
“Hyung. He misses you, even if he doesn’t express it.”
“I don’t think so,” Sunggyu replies stubbornly.
“He does,” Dongwoo insists. “Why are you so blind?”
“If he does, why hasn’t he contacted me? It’s been four months and I haven’t heard a thing from him!”
“Have you contacted him?” Dongwoo asks quietly.
“No.” Sunggyu doesn’t like how this makes him at partial fault. “But I’ve been busy! He knows that! He’s got all the time in the world and he doesn’t leave me a message or anything. And I have contacted him!” Sunggyu practically yells out, as loud as he’s allowed to anyway since they’re still at the café. He suddenly remembers. “I sent him a Happy Birthday text. He never replied.”
He bought a gift too, but didn’t have the balls to actually do anything with it. The ridiculously expensive bottle of hand lotion is still in his cupboard, unwrapped.
Dongwoo whines under his breath as he scratches his head. He’s obviously annoyed, but he can’t be as annoyed as Sunggyu is.
“I know Woohyun is a pain to live with but sorry Dongwoo, you can keep him.”
Sunggyu doesn’t like how the words taste so foul because it’s a complete lie but he stands by them anyway, face expressionless.
“That’s not- Hyung!”
When Sunggyu actually thinks about it, Woohyun did try to contact him. Once. And his brother answered.
Sunggyu groans. Fuck his life.
But then, he thinks, Woohyun never contacted him on his birthday anyway so maybe it didn’t matter. Woohyun forgot, and Sunggyu moves on.
(Or so he tells himself, but only he knows how long he waited and how much he wanted his phone to light up with Woohyun’s name on the screen. It’s like fresh scars on an already scabbing wound.)
Myungsoo has all his things packed and Sunggyu watches as his brother does a last sweep of his room before shutting the door.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come home?” Myungsoo asks for the umpteenth time, and Sunggyu doesn’t even bother replying. “You’ll be here all summer?”
“Myung-ah, if you ask again I’m going to kick you down the stairs.”
Myungsoo stops at the door, turning towards him and Sunggyu backs up. There’s something about Myungsoo’s stance that tells him that his younger brother is about to say something he just might not like.
“I figured since mom and dad aren’t unknowingly paying for your rent anymore, I thought I’d help with the other half of that rent…”
“You’re not paying for anything if you’re not living here,” Sunggyu asserts but Myungsoo isn’t done.
“I found you a roommate.”
“What?”
Myungsoo cringes as Sunggyu glares and he knows that Myungsoo knows he’s not amused.
“Hyung, it’s just a friend of mine at the dorm that needed a place to stay for the summer.”
“I thought you said-”
“He’s not like the others, hyung. He’s actually really nice and I kinda like him and please?”
Myungsoo’s last words are rushed out and Sunggyu is staring wide-eyed at his brother. He isn’t able to collect his words fast enough because Myungsoo is able to sneak a grinning “Thanks hyung, you’re the best,” before grabbing his luggage and dashing out of the apartment.
It’s a complete coincidence and Sunggyu isn’t sure if he’s thankful or not when he opens the door to find Lee Sungyeol with two suitcases by his feet.
“This isn’t fair,” he groans, messing up his hair as he walks along the sidewalk, the sun still giving out a deep orange glow despite it being past six.
Myungsoo uses Sunggyu as an excuse that he’s back on campus, but Sunggyu wonders what excuse the boy used on their parents. It doesn’t matter much though, as Sunggyu is sure that Myungsoo had this all planned. Have his boyfriend move in with his brother and then kicking his brother out when he was supposed to be visiting him. Myungsoo would have chosen to say that he didn’t do such a thing, but they both knew Sunggyu wasn’t going to stay when the two boys were practically making out on the couch.
Sunggyu wonders if they were dating before Sungyeol moved in with him.
Myungsoo. that devious little bastard.
“Sunggyu-hyung?”
Sunggyu turns to find a handsome face, chocolate hair and a blank look that Sunggyu remembers quite well.
“Howon!”
Sunggyu sighs, making himself comfortable on the couch as Howon throws him a pillow.
“Hyung, I thought it was your place to begin with? How come you’re here almost every weekend now?”
Because that little bastard comes over every weekend and Sunggyu cannot sleep with moaning and groaning permeating through his walls.
“Sorry about this, again, Howon-ah. I’ll make it up to you.”
Sunggyu gets up early to make breakfast, still in his faded shirt and sweatpants so when he finally opens to the door to appease the person knocking on the other side, he’s a little surprised to find Dongwoo looking up at him questionably.
“What are you doing here?”
“I could say the same to you,” Dongwoo mutters, eyes narrowing and Sunggyu doesn’t know why his friend is sending him such looks.
“You know Howon?”
“Yes, I’ve been friends with Hoya,” (Sunggyu notices that Dongwoo stresses the name but he says nothing of it), “longer than you have, hyung.”
(Sunggyu also doesn’t bother pointing out that Dongwoo has no idea how long he and Howon have known each other.) Sunggyu lets him in and returns to his omelettes, pulling out an extra dish for Dongwoo.
“He’s still sleeping.”
“You would know.”
Sunggyu backtracks, putting the plate down and moving to take a better look at his friend. Sunggyu knows Dongwoo well enough to see that he’s hiding a scowl, lips pressed tightly together and eyes looking anywhere but at him. Why, he’s not sure but his mind is wandering and he really hope it’s not what he thinks it is.
Howon interrupts them before Sunggyu can verbally confirm his suspicions, but it’s what follows after that does it for him. Dongwoo’s harboring a crush and Sunggyu isn’t so sure Howon swings that way.
Sunggyu hears voices through his music and wonders if Sungyeol’s on the phone with his brother, because it’s a Thursday and Myungsoo only visits on the weekends. A door slams shut and Sunggyu’s brows furrow, and he removes his earphones before opening the door to see Sungyeol walking away from their front entrance, annoyance written all over his face.
“Was there someone at the door?”
“Yeah. The kid has some nerve.”
“Kid?” Sunggyu asks, tension he didn’t know he had leaving his shoulders.
“Some guy who I’ve never met acting like he owns the place because he’s never seen me before.”
“W- What?” The tension was back.
“He’s never seen me before, and thus he got mad but why would he be mad if we’ve never met? I don’t get it. Oh, he might have asked about you, I’m not sure.”
Something drops in his stomach. “What did you say?”
“That he could fuck off and try again later.”
Sunggyu runs out of the apartment, careening around the corner to see the elevator starting to close. Sunggyu makes a mad dash and presses the button and the doors comply, reopening to reveal an angry set Woohyun. His jaw is clenched and his fists are balled and when Sunggyu doesn’t take a step into the elevator, the younger boy’s gaze moves to see why, only to widen at the sight in front of him.
There are a million thoughts running through his mind but Sunggyu can only manage to croak out, “Hey,”like an idiot. He’s such an idiot.
“What do you want?”
The words hurt like a whip, and Sunggyu has to put his hand on the elevator doors to stop them from reclosing. Woohyun’s wearing black jeans and a dark washed button-up that’s only half buttoned up. He’s wearing a low cut black v neck underneath and Sunggyu narrows his eyes in question at how fast the boy’s chest is rising and falling. He must be breathing hard, but Sunggyu’s the one that ran here, not the other way around.
“Guess you have a lot more time now that it’s summer.” Woohyun’s words are icy and Sunggyu doesn’t know what to say. “I didn’t bag you down for the type of guy that jumps around.”
Sunggyu swallows, takes a deep breath and enters the lift. He hits the twenty forth and twenty fifth buttons at the same time, because this building is old and hitting those two buttons specifically at once will stall the elevator once it reaches the top floor. Sunggyu knows this, and so does Woohyun.
The door closes and Sunggyu is having a hard time looking at his ex.
“What are you- Fuck, Sunggyu. You obviously want to say something, especially after pulling that stunt. We’re going to be here for an hour at least.”
“Why are you so angry?”
Woohyun looks like he might have gotten angrier, so Sunggyu decides that maybe that wasn’t the right thing to ask.
“I’m not allowed to be angry? You dump my ass cause you say you have no time for me, yet you get together with some pretty boy,” (ew, Myungsoo is not pretty), “and then hop from one guy to another when summer hits.”
“Hop- What? What hopping? And why do you care? It’s been more almost seven months since we broke up!”
Sunggyu is fishing right now. He wants to hear that Woohyun wants him back cause his pride won’t let it be the other way around.
“Only seven?” Woohyun seethes out and Sunggyu can feel his nails digging into his palms. “Only seven,” the boy repeats, his gaze moving (forcefully) away from the older male.
Sunggyu’s healthy. He sleeps well and eats well and to be honest, he hasn’t had to use his agenda for the longest time. So his brain is working mighty fine as it speeds to make connections, from Myungsoo to Sungyeol and Dongwoo to Howon. Howon. Dongwoo. Fuck.
“Not hopping,” Sunggyu insists, his shoulders sagging. “The guy that replaced you as a roommate second semester was my brother.” Something flickers in Woohyun’s eyes but Sunggyu continues, “The guy who is now my roommate is his boyfriend.” Another flicker, although know it feels like Woohyun’s holding back a snide comment. “And I’ve been chased out more than once because my dear little brother and his boyfriend are outrageously loud-” Woohyun snorts under his breath and Sunggyu breaks into a smile, relief washing over him. “And Howon is straight.”
Woohyun calms at the last statement, a tinge of sympathy touching his features and Sunggyu knows. (They both know, and they’re pretty sure Dongwoo knows too.)
“You look good.”
Woohyun’s comment sounds a little strained but Sunggyu smiles again, leaning back against the cold walls of the elevator. “All the stress I was putting myself through, I forgot it all started because of you.” Sunggyu cuts Woohyun’s protests off with a shake of his head. “No, not because you were the source of it. Because I chose you, and my parents couldn’t understand. I know we weren’t dating at the time,” Sunggyu answers Woohyun’s unspoken questions, “but it was always you. And then getting the place and school work just kind of took over. And then you were happy to just, take over my life, and I temporarily forgot about rent and bills and tuition.”
Sunggyu doesn’t like it, laying himself bare and all that but he has to admit that it does feel kind of good.
“So what you’re saying is…”Woohyun drags off and Sunggyu closes his eyes.
“I don’t know what I’m saying,” Sunggyu admits above the hammering of his chest.
“You told your parents that were gay and chose a guy you weren’t even dating at the time over them?”
Sunggyu never told Woohyun that and he realizes how much of an idiot he sounds right now. “Even if you rejected me, it wouldn’t have changed anything. I’d still be gay, and my parents would still hate me. I’d just be a lot lonelier.”
Sunggyu’s eyes snap open when he feels a presence in his bubble-Woohyun’s all up in his space, eyes full of something Sunggyu hasn’t seen in a long time.
They have approximately thirty minutes left according to Sunggyu’s inner clock, and it feels like someone’s cranked up the heat ten notches.
Having sex in an elevator is exhilarating, and Sunggyu wonders why they never tried it before.
*
Written in a day, rushed the ending ._.