i'll take all that you can give
Title: Open Letter
Pairing: G-Ri
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Something from Jiyong for the fans.
AN: Hello! Beta'd by kori_no_ojo .
OPEN LETTER
Do you think this is a joke to us?
You look at us and want to see something, like we're some endangered species put on display. Well, we aren't going to put on a show for your entertainment. We'll just live the way we want to live and if you see me hold his hand in a show or hug him onstage- all of those are for us and not for you. Those are private moments that you've had the privilege of seeing. Nope, no -those are not fanservice.
Wait, wait. Backup. Am I being too rude? Sorry. Let me start from the beginning then.
I'm sure you've already read fanfics where I am in love with one of the members. It could have been with Youngbae, TOP hyung or Daesung and ofcourse, Seungri. Maybe, in those fics, I was still Jiyong -G the Dragon, leader of Big Baang- or I could have been someone different all together -an aspiring designer, a highschool student or if you’re into action fics, a mob boss (haha). And maybe, in reading those fics, you've already constructed a wishful alternate reality where I'll end up with one of the members and we'll defy the world.
Well, uh- yeah.
Sadly, there is no such thing as an “alternate reality” -only the “real reality”. Reality for me is pretty much simple, actually. Yes, contrary to popular belief, my reality is simple. I've always wanted to become a musician and I am one now. From there, everything else just follows. Being an artist, I was made leader of Big Bang; being in Big Bang, I met Seungri. And he's a special person to me now just like how all the other members are: Youngbae's my best friend, TOP hyung's my musical confidante and Daesung is my younger brother.
But it hasn't always been this way between us.
Seungri and I, we started off rocky. He's too much like me that at first, I disliked him somehow- like how I dislike my flaws, my mistakes and my failures. He reminds me too much of myself that I couldn't look at him and not hate myself a bit. But- hm, how do I say this? You know how no matter how much you hate yourself you really can't do anything but accept who you are? All of your flaws, your mistakes, your failures- you just can't ignore these. You have got no choice but to just really love yourself. And so in the end it was nothing but natural for me to love him as well- just like how I love myself; and to accept him as he is- just like how I do with myself. I mean, I just couldn't not love him!
But to be honest, there is really no formal agreement, no arrangement- no relationship. We aren't “my Seungri” or “my Jiyong hyung”. No. We're just “Jiyong hyung” and “Seungriyah”. We don't spend every waking hour with each other. I've got my music and my friends (guys and girls alike) and he's got himself and his confidence. I'm not his, he's not mine. We're both separate individuals who just happen to find each other really special.
We've fought before, of course. We've shouted at each other. We've almost hit each other more than once. There had been lapses in communication, some misunderstandings. We've been childish and selfish. We've let our pride get in the way too many times before that we've hurt each other, pushed each other away that we've thought of quitting, letting each other go. But we know ourselves, we're both persistent and strong. Drifting apart is never an option.
So yes, in the past, we've been immature with our actions, we've been childish with our reactions- but I like to think that we've somehow matured. That all these times we've been with each other, we have come a long way- from elementary posessiveness to coldness to some balancing act, we've both grown up. We have come past the childishness of misunderstandings and jealousy. From now on, there'll be no more growing apart, just growing up- together. It'll be a bumpy ride, I'm sure. But hasn't that always been the case with him? It's always been like some carnival rollercoaster ride without the seatbelts- risky and dangerous but worth all the adrenaline rush and laughter.
In the future, I'll create more songs, produce more artists, meet more girls (date some of them and probably marry one of them) - but Seungri'll always be Seungri. There will be no fanfic-happy-ending for us. We won't ride off towards the sunset on a white horse singing crappy love songs. There won't be any fanfic-tragic-ending for us either. Nobody'll die or secretly have a relationship with Youngbae or TOP hyung (cause it's always been Seungri and I, always). Nope, none of those made believe plot lines for us. Oh yes, of course we'll have our own little happy ending! You know me, it'll be different and unique- some might accuse me of plagiarizing it if they want but it'll be our own happiness no matter what.
You guys won't probably hear about our happy ending, though. It won't get frontpage news or have feature segments and articles like all the other things I've done have, but it'll be my reality- our reality. I'm sorry that we can't tell you, it's a lot harder than you might think. Loving Seungri isn't actually the easiest thing in the world. Plus it's not just the media, the netizens and the antis- it's also the ones we love and care about. It's amazing already as it is, and as much as I am a risk taker, this time, I won't risk his smile for anything.
Of course, if we let something slip- like I say something or do something that I'm not supposed to, think of them as mere outbursts of emotions. They're our mistakes, our own miscalculation of control (and know that Seungri'll probably rant to me about it after). However, if you want (if you must), then sure! Think of our slips as gifts, rewards for always believing without seeing. And if you see my eyes sparkling and my lips forming a stupid smile when I'm staring at him, or when he's speaking or when I'm talking about him, please, I beg you- ignore me.
So...
Do you still think that this is a joke to us? Because it really isn't.
This is our reality.
And I hope you got me.
:)
AN: Reality check? No. Just reality.
Pairing: G-Ri
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Something from Jiyong for the fans.
AN: Hello! Beta'd by kori_no_ojo .
OPEN LETTER
Do you think this is a joke to us?
You look at us and want to see something, like we're some endangered species put on display. Well, we aren't going to put on a show for your entertainment. We'll just live the way we want to live and if you see me hold his hand in a show or hug him onstage- all of those are for us and not for you. Those are private moments that you've had the privilege of seeing. Nope, no -those are not fanservice.
Wait, wait. Backup. Am I being too rude? Sorry. Let me start from the beginning then.
I'm sure you've already read fanfics where I am in love with one of the members. It could have been with Youngbae, TOP hyung or Daesung and ofcourse, Seungri. Maybe, in those fics, I was still Jiyong -G the Dragon, leader of Big Baang- or I could have been someone different all together -an aspiring designer, a highschool student or if you’re into action fics, a mob boss (haha). And maybe, in reading those fics, you've already constructed a wishful alternate reality where I'll end up with one of the members and we'll defy the world.
Well, uh- yeah.
Sadly, there is no such thing as an “alternate reality” -only the “real reality”. Reality for me is pretty much simple, actually. Yes, contrary to popular belief, my reality is simple. I've always wanted to become a musician and I am one now. From there, everything else just follows. Being an artist, I was made leader of Big Bang; being in Big Bang, I met Seungri. And he's a special person to me now just like how all the other members are: Youngbae's my best friend, TOP hyung's my musical confidante and Daesung is my younger brother.
But it hasn't always been this way between us.
Seungri and I, we started off rocky. He's too much like me that at first, I disliked him somehow- like how I dislike my flaws, my mistakes and my failures. He reminds me too much of myself that I couldn't look at him and not hate myself a bit. But- hm, how do I say this? You know how no matter how much you hate yourself you really can't do anything but accept who you are? All of your flaws, your mistakes, your failures- you just can't ignore these. You have got no choice but to just really love yourself. And so in the end it was nothing but natural for me to love him as well- just like how I love myself; and to accept him as he is- just like how I do with myself. I mean, I just couldn't not love him!
But to be honest, there is really no formal agreement, no arrangement- no relationship. We aren't “my Seungri” or “my Jiyong hyung”. No. We're just “Jiyong hyung” and “Seungriyah”. We don't spend every waking hour with each other. I've got my music and my friends (guys and girls alike) and he's got himself and his confidence. I'm not his, he's not mine. We're both separate individuals who just happen to find each other really special.
We've fought before, of course. We've shouted at each other. We've almost hit each other more than once. There had been lapses in communication, some misunderstandings. We've been childish and selfish. We've let our pride get in the way too many times before that we've hurt each other, pushed each other away that we've thought of quitting, letting each other go. But we know ourselves, we're both persistent and strong. Drifting apart is never an option.
So yes, in the past, we've been immature with our actions, we've been childish with our reactions- but I like to think that we've somehow matured. That all these times we've been with each other, we have come a long way- from elementary posessiveness to coldness to some balancing act, we've both grown up. We have come past the childishness of misunderstandings and jealousy. From now on, there'll be no more growing apart, just growing up- together. It'll be a bumpy ride, I'm sure. But hasn't that always been the case with him? It's always been like some carnival rollercoaster ride without the seatbelts- risky and dangerous but worth all the adrenaline rush and laughter.
In the future, I'll create more songs, produce more artists, meet more girls (date some of them and probably marry one of them) - but Seungri'll always be Seungri. There will be no fanfic-happy-ending for us. We won't ride off towards the sunset on a white horse singing crappy love songs. There won't be any fanfic-tragic-ending for us either. Nobody'll die or secretly have a relationship with Youngbae or TOP hyung (cause it's always been Seungri and I, always). Nope, none of those made believe plot lines for us. Oh yes, of course we'll have our own little happy ending! You know me, it'll be different and unique- some might accuse me of plagiarizing it if they want but it'll be our own happiness no matter what.
You guys won't probably hear about our happy ending, though. It won't get frontpage news or have feature segments and articles like all the other things I've done have, but it'll be my reality- our reality. I'm sorry that we can't tell you, it's a lot harder than you might think. Loving Seungri isn't actually the easiest thing in the world. Plus it's not just the media, the netizens and the antis- it's also the ones we love and care about. It's amazing already as it is, and as much as I am a risk taker, this time, I won't risk his smile for anything.
Of course, if we let something slip- like I say something or do something that I'm not supposed to, think of them as mere outbursts of emotions. They're our mistakes, our own miscalculation of control (and know that Seungri'll probably rant to me about it after). However, if you want (if you must), then sure! Think of our slips as gifts, rewards for always believing without seeing. And if you see my eyes sparkling and my lips forming a stupid smile when I'm staring at him, or when he's speaking or when I'm talking about him, please, I beg you- ignore me.
So...
Do you still think that this is a joke to us? Because it really isn't.
This is our reality.
And I hope you got me.
:)
AN: Reality check? No. Just reality.