A Friend in Need
Title: A Friend in Need
Characters: Stephen, Jack
Rating: Mostly G
Disclaimer: Characters borrowed from Patrick O'Brian & his heirs on a non-profit basis
Note: Written for a fan-zine for esteven's birthday.
A Friend in Need
There were no candles lit, the only source of light in the room was the blazing fire built by Killick to ward off the bitter cold of a winter night, the only sound that of the wind howling around the house driving the snow into deep drifts against the west wall of the house. All the clocks had been stopped since that dark day two weeks ago, so there was not the usual soothing tick tock as background accompaniment to the roaring of the fire. Stephen sat in a chair hunched close to the fire, his eyes blank, deep in remembrances of times past. The house was now quiet after the last days of tumult and noise and people. Now only Stephen, Jack, Killick, Padeen and the servants remained. The girls and their husbands had returned to their family homes and Phillip and George had returned to their ships and the various Williams’ cousins had all left. Brigid was still in Barcelona, visiting Stephen’s cousins.
Stephen sighed, sat up and called, “Killick, Killick will you bring a candle.”
Killick was heard stumping down the hall from the kitchen, muttering to himself, “Wants a candle now, when I’m busy a polishing the silver. Guests, scratching the silver and one of them I’m sure took one of the spoons.” As he entered the room with the candle he straightened himself and sniffed and looked around the dark room suspiciously as if checking for potential silver spoon thieves hiding behind the curtains then bent and placed the candle on the small side table beside Stephen’s chair and in a subdued tone enquired, “Do you want coffee, Doctor? I can brew up a pot? Shall I take a pot up to the Admiral?”
Stephen shook his head, “No thank you, Killick, leave him be. That will be all.”
Killick sniffed loudly and left the room as Stephen pulled across the paper on the table into the light murmuring and frowning, shaking his head, “Now where was I? How shall I tell dear Brigid the news?”
The only sounds for half an hour were the scratching of Stephen’s pen until the strains of music broke through. At first the music was low and subdued, but then it rose to a fever pitch until the violin seemed to express all the pain and sorrow of the player’s being and then it sank back low and quiet and whispered away. Stephen sat up listening carefully to the music, then bent his head, the unshed tears glistening in his eyes, whispering to himself, “Oh Jack, my poor love, how can I ease your pain?” He sat back in the chair, still holding the pen, lightly stroking his cheek with it, thinking, “And the house now feels hollow, empty as if all joy and life has left it, now that its mistress is gone. How shall I fill the space left by her? How can he bear to live here now without her? I could ask Brigid to come back but perhaps her presence would remind him only of the days when Sophie was here and we were all happy together. Perhaps we can close Woolcombe house and move back to Ashgrove, at least he will be close to the sea.” Stephen then straightened and listened carefully listening for Jack’s steps, but the only sound was the wind and the creaking of the house.
Suddenly he pushed the letter to Brigid away and got up and walked to the door, almost bumping into Killick who asked, “Will you and the Admiral be taking any supper sir? I can do some toasted cheese if you like?”
“No Killick, I shall go up and sit with him. I don’t think he will be hungry and I have no appetite at all. You may go to bed if you wish.” With that Stephen hurried up the stairs to Jack and Sophie’s wing of the house, stopping at the door to their bedroom and listening for Jack. The muffled sobs from the room stirred him to action. He tapped on the door quietly and entered before being invited. Jack sat on the side of the bed, his face in his hands, sobbing quietly, the violin bow was on the bed and the violin lay at his feet. Stephen walked over and quickly picked up both and placed them on the dressing table by the door. Jack had not looked up as Stephen walked towards him, his arms outstretched. He stopped and looked at Jack, weighing up in his mind what he should do. He nodded his head once and walked swiftly to the bed, sat beside Jack and put his arms around Jack’s shoulders and crooned into his ear, “Oh, a chuisle mo chroí, will you be sitting up here all alone. Why did you not call me?”
Jack lifted his head and looked at Stephen, the tears streaming still and shook his head. But before he could turn away Stephen brought his hand to his cheek and softly stroked it, humming a lullaby he remembered from long ago and then slowly stretched up and gently kissed Jack’s lips and pulled his head down to his shoulder and rocked him all the while humming and moving his hands slowly up and down Jack’s back. After a little while Jack’s sobbing gentled and he lay quietly in Stephen’s arms just listening to his humming, letting it flow over him. Stephen eventually felt Jack’s body relax against his and felt his weight lean more heavily on him. He then gently tugged and pushed him until Jack’s head was on the pillow and he lay on his side. Jack was only in a light sleep, so he got up quickly to remove Jack’s shirt and breeches and stockings and then lay down beside him again and let Jack reach out and hold him and turning on his side held him close, lightly kissing his forehead and murmuring endearments to him and resuming stroking his back. The candle burnt low, guttered and went out and Stephen still lay in Jack’s arms listening to Jack’s steady breathing.
Jack woke up just before dawn and feeling a warm body in his arms, his heart leapt with joy. It was just an evil dream. He pulled Stephen close crying out, “Oh Sophie, my Sophie!”, but then knew instantly it was not Sophie and let go and sank back into the pillow. Stephen woken by Jack’s exclamation reached out and pulled him close. “No my dear, I’m so sorry, I would wish for you that she was still here.”
“Oh Stephen, what shall I do with my Sophie gone? These last few days have gone by in a blur. I can’t believe she has gone and there was nothing I could do to save her! Nothing! I was supposed to keep her safe!”
“No, you could do nothing; the gaol fever is most virulent. You remember how it almost took such a strong young man as Tom Pullings.”
Jack pulled back, appalled, “Gaol fever, how could Sophie have caught that?”
Stephen shrugged, “She visited the poor as her duty as wife of the lord of the manor. I believe her mother insisted on the practice at Mapes. Perhaps she acquired the infection there. I cannot tell. I have not heard of a major outbreak of typhus in the local area but perhaps this is just the beginning or maybe it was just an unhappy accident that somehow Sophie came in contact with someone who had been in gaol and just returned to their family.”
Jack frowned, “Should we not find out if any others have been felled by the disease, if it is so contagious?”
“I don’t believe it will ameliorate the problem. If it spreads among the villagers, there is little that can be done. The season has been good; the crops were bountiful this last summer. The disease seems to take hold when the season has been poor, perhaps there will be not many other victims of the disease.”
“Aye,” said Jack grimly, “Just my Sophie.”
Silence fell between them, each lost in their memories of Sophie, wife, mother and sister.
“The winter may keep the vast majority safe. There is less visiting as most stay beside their hearth as it has been so cold this season. The disease will probably die out with the family,” mused Stephen aloud.
Jack pulled out of Stephen’s embrace, “I didn’t say I wanted revenge on them, it was hardly their fault!”
Stephen looked at him but did not try to draw him back but murmured, “You misunderstand me, and I was certainly not implying you did. I was merely thinking out loud.”
“Well do you want to see them dead?” Jack challenged him.
Stephen shook his head, “No, of course not my dear. I miss her as my dearest sister but there is no one to blame, nothing to avenge. All I want to do is ….” He sighed and shook his head and Jack saw the grimace of pain, quickly covered by a blank look.
“What Stephen?” Jack prompted.
Stephen sat up and looked away from Jack out the window, his eyes searching for the sight of the rising sun through the fog, shrouding the house as if he would find the answer there. Then he smiled thinking, “Yes, the sun. That is it. We shall go to sea, to the sun, away from this dark, cold place. It is only when he is at sea that Jack has truly been happy and how I long for the sun. I only stay in this damp, cold country for Jack, no other reason. By the time we get the Surprise ready for sea and set sail it will be well into spring time when we reach Barcelona. Yes, I will take him back to my home and look after him there, away from memories that haunt him and give him pain.”
Jack was puzzled by his smile and placed a hand on Stephen’s arm, “My dear what are you thinking?”
Stephen bent and kissed his forehead, “I’m thinking that we should start planning a voyage. How long will it take to get the Surprise ready for a cruise?”
Jack shook his head, “I wasn’t planning on a cruise. It’s winter, no one will want to set out into the teeth of an Atlantic Winter’s storm. I have no ….”
Stephen shook his shoulder and kissed him fiercely and looked down at him, “But what have you to do here my dear? Sit here and mourn Sophie? Do you think she would want you to sit here in misery? What purpose would it serve?”
“You want me to forget her just like that,” Jack snapped. “You think I can forget her just like that. Sail away from her and her memory without a thought!”
“I did not say that. I can never sail away from the memory of Diana; she is always in my heart, as is Sophie. No what I mean is that you should go to sea where you have always been happiest. It will allow you time to accustom yourself to her loss and come to accept it. I know being at sea with you helped me to accept Diana’s death and to become human again. Without you and the life we have together at sea, I know I would not have survived my grief for her. I would try to help you recover some of your joy in life, in music and I would like to show you my homeland properly. You were ill when last you were there with me and I would like you to see the beauty of my country in a time of peace. Will you not come? We could then visit Mahon or Malta or perhaps go to Venice and go to the opera at La Fenice and then perhaps go overland to Vienna. Will you come with me Jack?” urged Stephen.
Jack looked down and looked back up at Stephen and though instinctively he shrunk from leaving his home, leaving Sophie behind, he could not dismiss Stephen’s plans so quickly. The thought of being at sea, back in his proper element drew him strongly. He shook his head, “I can’t say yes, but …”
Stephen urged, “But you will think about it, will you not?”
Jack exasperated said, “Yes I will think about it. How much do you think this will cost? I’m not sure I will be able to get a full crew, just for a private cruise of the Mediterranean. No prize money, just wages paid by me!”
Stephen smiled, knowing now that he had planted the seed. He pushed himself up and off the bed, knowing that at least Jack was considering his plan. “I shall go to my room and wash. Will you come down for breakfast? I hunger for coffee.”
“Yes, yes, I’m not an invalid.” Jack grumbled and in a parting shot at Stephen as he left the room called out, “And don’t drink all the coffee before I’m down. I’ll have to wait for Killick to brew another.”
The next day was just as bleak but with the wind backing into the south that night, by the following morning the sun rose in a clear blue sky revealing a bright sparkling world. The rays of golden sunlight streaming through his bedroom window drew Stephen to stand bathed in their warmth at the window and look out on a world transformed. The crystals of snow glittering on trees, fences, rooftops, reflected the sun’s glory in multiple sources of brilliant, crystalline light, a dazzling world of blue and gold and white, a complete contrast to the preceding days of gloom. “Blue and gold,” Stephen murmured, “Jack’s colours.” With that he bent to put his slippers on and hurried to Jack’s room, slipping in without knocking and ran to the window and pulled the curtains apart to let the light stream in unobstructed and jumped onto the bed and kissed Jack awake, exclaiming, “Arise ye sluggard, the sun is aloft and you should be out of bed, washed, breakfasted and outside shovelling snow from your doorstep. No time for glooming.”
Jack tried to turn away grumbling, “Killick can do that.”
But Stephen would have none of it and pulled the blankets off Jack and pushed him flat on his back and sat on him and poked him, “No Jack, you shall help me. Your humours are disordered and you need some sunshine and exercise to correct them and as your doctor, I insist.”
Jack stared back at him and thought of throwing his friend off and reclaiming the blankets but he hesitated as he knew from that look that Stephen would not be denied and would not let him sink back into his warm nest of misery without a fight and the last thing Jack wanted was to fight with his friend.
Seeing Jack’s resistance weaken, Stephen smiled and bent down again and kissed him, caressing his face and crooning, “Come my dear, you know you need to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin again. I know I certainly do, if I am ever to melt the ice in my veins.” He kissed Jack passionately, giving the lie to his words.
Jack now enjoying this, attempted to pull Stephen closer, muttering, “If it is heat….”
Stephen, quicker than Jack eluded his attempts to pull him down into a bear hug, sat up and shook his head, “No my dear, that is not what you need.” He got off the bed and walked back to the sunlight at the window and beckoned Jack to follow him.
Jack groaned but complied and padded over to Stephen and held him close, rocking him in his arms and kissing the bare shoulder that peeked from his nightshirt. He looked up and out of the window and like Stephen was drawn to the brilliant beauty of the snow covered landscape, glittering in the sun beneath a clear blue sky. Jack looked down into Stephen’s face and smiled and bent and kissed him, “My dear are you sure you don’t want a little exercise in my bed to warm you before we go outside to shovel snow?”
“Shovel snow? Why should you be shovelling snow sir? Don’t you want your bacon and eggs sir and coffee which I was just about to set on the table sir? Will you be dressing before you take breakfast sir?” Killick stood at the door glowering and squinting in the bright sunlight that now flooded the whole room.
Jack sighed and replied, “Yes Killick, the doctor and I will be down presently.”
Stephen bent his head and his shoulders heaved in silent mirth and once Killick had stomped back down the hall, looked up at Jack and said, “I don’t think he approves of my presence in your bedroom. Perhaps he thinks it is not fitting for a widower to….”
Jack grabbed Stephen by the shoulders and pulled him close, kissing him fiercely and muttered, “Damn Killick, he can disapprove all he likes, I’ll kiss you if I want and why shouldn’t we share a bed? There’s no one here to complain?”
“Well I shall be quite happy to get dressed and take my breakfast and coffee. So shall you, and out into the sun we shall go.” Stephen pecked Jack’s cheek and escaped to his room.
After breakfast and two pots of coffee each, Jack wrapped Stephen in his warmest coat and then added a scarf and pulled a Monmouth cap onto his thinning pate while Stephen protested about being smothered. “I shall hardly be able to lift any snow with all these clothes on me,” he spluttered as he followed Jack to the back door.
They spent a good three hours clearing a path in the snow from the back door to the stables and then from the front door out to the gates of the courtyard. Jack throwing the snow with his shovel expending the pent up energy of his grief and anger at the loss of Sophie and Stephen followed behind, pushing back the piles of snow and flattening them away from the path Jack was creating.
Killick kept running to the windows and checking their progress, shaking his head and glooming, “Well if old Bonden was still here, he’d be in a right state. The doctor out in the cold, he will be cramping up and all his old miseries and the arthritis will be back on him. You mark my words. I don’t know what possessed them to go out there shovelling snow. The yardman or the stable boy should be doing it! Mrs Sophie wouldn’t like it.”
The next day with some of the roads clearing with the melting of the snow Jack and Stephen, to Killick’s horror went out riding. On their way back to the house from the stables, Jack looked to the sky and around him, sniffing the air and then nodded his head and looked at Stephen, saying, “Maybe in the next few days, if the roads are open I might go down to Shelmerston, see if anyone is interested in a cruise and check up on the Surprise, see whether she’ll need much work. I wonder what Tom Pullings is up to? I haven’t heard that he’s got a ship at the moment.”
Stephen looked up at his friend and patted his arm, “Yes my dear, I’m sure if he has no post he would be glad of the chance of a cruise. Shall I write him a note telling him of our plans?”
“Yes Stephen, yes. I’ll be glad to be at sea again, even if we meet with a blow or two before we reach Gibraltar.” Jack strode on ahead calling, “Killick, Killick there ….”
With much grumbling and dark looks, Killick packed Jack’s sea chest and hauling it up he carried it down to the front door and waited at the open door till Jack brought the trap round to the front courtyard and then hoisted the chest onto the tray, huffing and puffing as he pushed it against the back of the seat. “All stowed sir.”
“Thankee Killick! I’ll be at Shelmerston to find out whether the Surprise is seaworthy. If she is I’ll send a message here and I expect you to pack up the Doctor’s things and get them, yourself and him to Shelmerston as quick as can be. Lose not a minute. And Padeen, if he wants to come, bring him too. The other servants will close the house. Where is Stephen?”
A clattering that sounded like a small herd of elephants charging down the stairs presaged Stephen’s arrival. “I’m sorry my dear. I was just finishing my letter to Brigid before you left. If you could arrange for it to be sent…” Stephen reached up to give him the letter and Jack reached down and pulled him up into a bear hug, clasping him tight and whispering, “Take care my dear and hurry down to Shelmerston as soon as I send word.”
To Jack’s surprise there were many old Shelmerstonians eager for a cruise, regardless of the weather and winter or maybe like Stephen they missed the warmth and sunshine of the Med. “It will be good to be back on board the Surprise, away from the wife, always wanting this and that done around the house and nagging you till you do it and then changing her mind once it’s been done. Plagues of revenue men too so that a man can’t make a decent living like we used to during the war,” muttered a grizzled old Surprise to Jack in the inn beside the dock where the Surprise was moored. Jack knew that the man had accumulated a decent amount of prize money when he sailed with him, but Jack also knew that like many other seamen holding onto prize money once ashore proved difficult. They were a prodigal lot and Jack knew that he was no better and thanked God that he had Sophie and Stephen to get him out of financial scrapes.
Jack was intensely busy for the next few weeks ordering and arranging the delivery of stores and the refitting of the ship and during those weeks felt the weariness and pain drop away as he was diverted from his thoughts of Sophie and his loss. In the final week he had the assistance of Pullings who had responded immediately to Stephen’s note offering a cruise on the Surprise, eager to be at sea too. With a rather dull life at home on half-pay and very low chance of a post on an East Indiaman and none whatsoever of a Royal Navy posting, he too was relieved to leave hearth and home for the remembered excitements of life afloat. With Pullings’ help the work to ready the ship, get the last few men required for the crew and the stores on board was made much easier and went much faster than Jack on his own and so he was able to send off his letter to Stephen and Killick to join him as soon as possible.
There was a welcome influx of young men who had been middies or junior officers with Jack, all eager to join even without the lure of prizes. News of his proposed cruise had spread quickly through the network of Jack’s followers across the southern ports of England. This too warmed his heart to be surrounded by such a large group of young men wanting to serve under him without the obvious attractions of prize money. The crew was smaller than a wartime crew as there was now no need for any of the gunners and the Surprise just needed enough men to sail her, but Jack still regretted their absence, even if it saved him and Stephen the cost of their wages.
Everything and everyone was ready to sail, but still there was no sign of Stephen and Killick. Jack paced on the quarter deck staring at the road winding down the hill into Shelmerston and muttering, “Where could they have got to now. I sent them fair warning, plenty of time to get here.” He sighed and shook his head and smiled at Pullings standing beside him, “Some things never change. The Doctor must have come across some bird, plant or toad that he must examine. I would have thought Killick would be wise to his ways by now and headed him off before he could get distracted.”
“Yes, sir, I’m sure that’s the case.” Pulling agreed and now spotting a movement on the horizon, pointed and said, “Perhaps that is them now, sir.”
Jack got out his glass and focused it on the road staring intently, then smiled and closed it. “Yes there they are, just when I was thinking we would miss our tide.”
The trap clattered through the town, Padeen reins in hand calmly urging the horse on and Stephen calling out and waving to old friends and shipmates in the town, Killick dark faced and furious, muttering, “We’re late, look the Admiral’s pacing on the deck. He’ll have me hide.”
“No, he won’t Killick. There is a perfectly good explanation as to why we took a little longer than the Admiral’s, ‘lose not a minute’ style of travel. I prefer to travel like a gentleman and at my own pace and if there are specimens of great scientific interest to be observed or collected, I will not rush past or ignore them. It is my duty to take the appropriate action to ensure we do not lose any chance to add to the depth and breadth of scientific knowledge. Jack will understand. Oh hallo, Mrs Florey, how is young Leonard?” He called out to the woman with her basket standing in the square.
“Right fine now Doctor, that you and the Admiral is going to sea. Our Leonard needs a good airing! This being stuck at home with just the fishing and no trade because of them buggers, the revenue men was getting too much for him. He’ll be glad of some time afloat, even if there’s no prize money. You best hurry now or the Admiral will miss his tide and you’ll be for it!”
“Told you so,” muttered Killick.
Jack called out to them as they arrived at the quay, “You’re late!”
Stephen called back, “And if we are, surely it makes not a jot of difference. We are going on a pleasure cruise, not to war and we are under no tyrannical orders demanding that we sail to some far distant port at breakneck speed, ignoring all the sights and beauty that are to be observed along the way. No Jack, this time we will take our time! And I begin the way I intend to continue, so no more harping about tides and lateness!”
Jack sighed and looked down at Killick, “Hurry along there Killick and get the Doctor’s dunnage aboard.”
“Yes sir,” Killick jumped down from the back of the trap and hauled Stephen’s sea chest up to his shoulder and headed for the gangway, calling to Padeen, “Help me with the Doctor’s bibs and bobs. I swear he’s collected half a dozen things along the way, filling up the wagon.”
Stephen alighted and turned to Padeen, “Padeen my dear do help Killick with the luggage and then go stable the horse at the inn and arrange for someone to return the horse and dray to Woolcombe.” He then ran up the gangway on to the ship and walked slowly up to the quarterdeck nodding to all the men on deck and calling out to one, “Dunkerley how are you my dear? Your scrotum is quite healed?” The poor man nodded and scuttled away, his face aflame.
Jack gave up any pretence of sternness asked, “So what have you been collecting Stephen that has kept you so late?”
“Oh this and that, I shall show you later,” Stephen turned to Pullings, “Dear Tom, how good it is to see you. How is your wife?”
“Very good sir! She’s happy to see me back at sea. Though I love her and the children dearly, it’s good to be back on board the Surprise.” Pullings turned to Jack, “Can we get underway sir, once Padeen returns?”
Jack nodded, “Let it be so, Mr Pullings.” Jack strode to starboard and looked out to sea and smiled, the wind ruffled his now white streaked blonde hair and his blue eyes squinted in the sun and breathed the sea air deep. He was home.
Stephen stared at him, tempted to smooth down the strands of wayward hair and knew part of his task was done. Jack was back where he belonged and perhaps his pain would fade with time and their life at sea. He smiled at Jack and murmured quietly, “And you Jack, how are you?”
Jack looked down and patted Stephen’s hand, “I’m fine my dear, just fine. Thank you for suggesting this. It will be good to go back to all our old haunts. It will not be the same, I know it but this time as you have said, we shall take our time.” He put his arm round the slighter man’s shoulders and they both looked forward to their future together.
Characters: Stephen, Jack
Rating: Mostly G
Disclaimer: Characters borrowed from Patrick O'Brian & his heirs on a non-profit basis
Note: Written for a fan-zine for esteven's birthday.
A Friend in Need
There were no candles lit, the only source of light in the room was the blazing fire built by Killick to ward off the bitter cold of a winter night, the only sound that of the wind howling around the house driving the snow into deep drifts against the west wall of the house. All the clocks had been stopped since that dark day two weeks ago, so there was not the usual soothing tick tock as background accompaniment to the roaring of the fire. Stephen sat in a chair hunched close to the fire, his eyes blank, deep in remembrances of times past. The house was now quiet after the last days of tumult and noise and people. Now only Stephen, Jack, Killick, Padeen and the servants remained. The girls and their husbands had returned to their family homes and Phillip and George had returned to their ships and the various Williams’ cousins had all left. Brigid was still in Barcelona, visiting Stephen’s cousins.
Stephen sighed, sat up and called, “Killick, Killick will you bring a candle.”
Killick was heard stumping down the hall from the kitchen, muttering to himself, “Wants a candle now, when I’m busy a polishing the silver. Guests, scratching the silver and one of them I’m sure took one of the spoons.” As he entered the room with the candle he straightened himself and sniffed and looked around the dark room suspiciously as if checking for potential silver spoon thieves hiding behind the curtains then bent and placed the candle on the small side table beside Stephen’s chair and in a subdued tone enquired, “Do you want coffee, Doctor? I can brew up a pot? Shall I take a pot up to the Admiral?”
Stephen shook his head, “No thank you, Killick, leave him be. That will be all.”
Killick sniffed loudly and left the room as Stephen pulled across the paper on the table into the light murmuring and frowning, shaking his head, “Now where was I? How shall I tell dear Brigid the news?”
The only sounds for half an hour were the scratching of Stephen’s pen until the strains of music broke through. At first the music was low and subdued, but then it rose to a fever pitch until the violin seemed to express all the pain and sorrow of the player’s being and then it sank back low and quiet and whispered away. Stephen sat up listening carefully to the music, then bent his head, the unshed tears glistening in his eyes, whispering to himself, “Oh Jack, my poor love, how can I ease your pain?” He sat back in the chair, still holding the pen, lightly stroking his cheek with it, thinking, “And the house now feels hollow, empty as if all joy and life has left it, now that its mistress is gone. How shall I fill the space left by her? How can he bear to live here now without her? I could ask Brigid to come back but perhaps her presence would remind him only of the days when Sophie was here and we were all happy together. Perhaps we can close Woolcombe house and move back to Ashgrove, at least he will be close to the sea.” Stephen then straightened and listened carefully listening for Jack’s steps, but the only sound was the wind and the creaking of the house.
Suddenly he pushed the letter to Brigid away and got up and walked to the door, almost bumping into Killick who asked, “Will you and the Admiral be taking any supper sir? I can do some toasted cheese if you like?”
“No Killick, I shall go up and sit with him. I don’t think he will be hungry and I have no appetite at all. You may go to bed if you wish.” With that Stephen hurried up the stairs to Jack and Sophie’s wing of the house, stopping at the door to their bedroom and listening for Jack. The muffled sobs from the room stirred him to action. He tapped on the door quietly and entered before being invited. Jack sat on the side of the bed, his face in his hands, sobbing quietly, the violin bow was on the bed and the violin lay at his feet. Stephen walked over and quickly picked up both and placed them on the dressing table by the door. Jack had not looked up as Stephen walked towards him, his arms outstretched. He stopped and looked at Jack, weighing up in his mind what he should do. He nodded his head once and walked swiftly to the bed, sat beside Jack and put his arms around Jack’s shoulders and crooned into his ear, “Oh, a chuisle mo chroí, will you be sitting up here all alone. Why did you not call me?”
Jack lifted his head and looked at Stephen, the tears streaming still and shook his head. But before he could turn away Stephen brought his hand to his cheek and softly stroked it, humming a lullaby he remembered from long ago and then slowly stretched up and gently kissed Jack’s lips and pulled his head down to his shoulder and rocked him all the while humming and moving his hands slowly up and down Jack’s back. After a little while Jack’s sobbing gentled and he lay quietly in Stephen’s arms just listening to his humming, letting it flow over him. Stephen eventually felt Jack’s body relax against his and felt his weight lean more heavily on him. He then gently tugged and pushed him until Jack’s head was on the pillow and he lay on his side. Jack was only in a light sleep, so he got up quickly to remove Jack’s shirt and breeches and stockings and then lay down beside him again and let Jack reach out and hold him and turning on his side held him close, lightly kissing his forehead and murmuring endearments to him and resuming stroking his back. The candle burnt low, guttered and went out and Stephen still lay in Jack’s arms listening to Jack’s steady breathing.
Jack woke up just before dawn and feeling a warm body in his arms, his heart leapt with joy. It was just an evil dream. He pulled Stephen close crying out, “Oh Sophie, my Sophie!”, but then knew instantly it was not Sophie and let go and sank back into the pillow. Stephen woken by Jack’s exclamation reached out and pulled him close. “No my dear, I’m so sorry, I would wish for you that she was still here.”
“Oh Stephen, what shall I do with my Sophie gone? These last few days have gone by in a blur. I can’t believe she has gone and there was nothing I could do to save her! Nothing! I was supposed to keep her safe!”
“No, you could do nothing; the gaol fever is most virulent. You remember how it almost took such a strong young man as Tom Pullings.”
Jack pulled back, appalled, “Gaol fever, how could Sophie have caught that?”
Stephen shrugged, “She visited the poor as her duty as wife of the lord of the manor. I believe her mother insisted on the practice at Mapes. Perhaps she acquired the infection there. I cannot tell. I have not heard of a major outbreak of typhus in the local area but perhaps this is just the beginning or maybe it was just an unhappy accident that somehow Sophie came in contact with someone who had been in gaol and just returned to their family.”
Jack frowned, “Should we not find out if any others have been felled by the disease, if it is so contagious?”
“I don’t believe it will ameliorate the problem. If it spreads among the villagers, there is little that can be done. The season has been good; the crops were bountiful this last summer. The disease seems to take hold when the season has been poor, perhaps there will be not many other victims of the disease.”
“Aye,” said Jack grimly, “Just my Sophie.”
Silence fell between them, each lost in their memories of Sophie, wife, mother and sister.
“The winter may keep the vast majority safe. There is less visiting as most stay beside their hearth as it has been so cold this season. The disease will probably die out with the family,” mused Stephen aloud.
Jack pulled out of Stephen’s embrace, “I didn’t say I wanted revenge on them, it was hardly their fault!”
Stephen looked at him but did not try to draw him back but murmured, “You misunderstand me, and I was certainly not implying you did. I was merely thinking out loud.”
“Well do you want to see them dead?” Jack challenged him.
Stephen shook his head, “No, of course not my dear. I miss her as my dearest sister but there is no one to blame, nothing to avenge. All I want to do is ….” He sighed and shook his head and Jack saw the grimace of pain, quickly covered by a blank look.
“What Stephen?” Jack prompted.
Stephen sat up and looked away from Jack out the window, his eyes searching for the sight of the rising sun through the fog, shrouding the house as if he would find the answer there. Then he smiled thinking, “Yes, the sun. That is it. We shall go to sea, to the sun, away from this dark, cold place. It is only when he is at sea that Jack has truly been happy and how I long for the sun. I only stay in this damp, cold country for Jack, no other reason. By the time we get the Surprise ready for sea and set sail it will be well into spring time when we reach Barcelona. Yes, I will take him back to my home and look after him there, away from memories that haunt him and give him pain.”
Jack was puzzled by his smile and placed a hand on Stephen’s arm, “My dear what are you thinking?”
Stephen bent and kissed his forehead, “I’m thinking that we should start planning a voyage. How long will it take to get the Surprise ready for a cruise?”
Jack shook his head, “I wasn’t planning on a cruise. It’s winter, no one will want to set out into the teeth of an Atlantic Winter’s storm. I have no ….”
Stephen shook his shoulder and kissed him fiercely and looked down at him, “But what have you to do here my dear? Sit here and mourn Sophie? Do you think she would want you to sit here in misery? What purpose would it serve?”
“You want me to forget her just like that,” Jack snapped. “You think I can forget her just like that. Sail away from her and her memory without a thought!”
“I did not say that. I can never sail away from the memory of Diana; she is always in my heart, as is Sophie. No what I mean is that you should go to sea where you have always been happiest. It will allow you time to accustom yourself to her loss and come to accept it. I know being at sea with you helped me to accept Diana’s death and to become human again. Without you and the life we have together at sea, I know I would not have survived my grief for her. I would try to help you recover some of your joy in life, in music and I would like to show you my homeland properly. You were ill when last you were there with me and I would like you to see the beauty of my country in a time of peace. Will you not come? We could then visit Mahon or Malta or perhaps go to Venice and go to the opera at La Fenice and then perhaps go overland to Vienna. Will you come with me Jack?” urged Stephen.
Jack looked down and looked back up at Stephen and though instinctively he shrunk from leaving his home, leaving Sophie behind, he could not dismiss Stephen’s plans so quickly. The thought of being at sea, back in his proper element drew him strongly. He shook his head, “I can’t say yes, but …”
Stephen urged, “But you will think about it, will you not?”
Jack exasperated said, “Yes I will think about it. How much do you think this will cost? I’m not sure I will be able to get a full crew, just for a private cruise of the Mediterranean. No prize money, just wages paid by me!”
Stephen smiled, knowing now that he had planted the seed. He pushed himself up and off the bed, knowing that at least Jack was considering his plan. “I shall go to my room and wash. Will you come down for breakfast? I hunger for coffee.”
“Yes, yes, I’m not an invalid.” Jack grumbled and in a parting shot at Stephen as he left the room called out, “And don’t drink all the coffee before I’m down. I’ll have to wait for Killick to brew another.”
The next day was just as bleak but with the wind backing into the south that night, by the following morning the sun rose in a clear blue sky revealing a bright sparkling world. The rays of golden sunlight streaming through his bedroom window drew Stephen to stand bathed in their warmth at the window and look out on a world transformed. The crystals of snow glittering on trees, fences, rooftops, reflected the sun’s glory in multiple sources of brilliant, crystalline light, a dazzling world of blue and gold and white, a complete contrast to the preceding days of gloom. “Blue and gold,” Stephen murmured, “Jack’s colours.” With that he bent to put his slippers on and hurried to Jack’s room, slipping in without knocking and ran to the window and pulled the curtains apart to let the light stream in unobstructed and jumped onto the bed and kissed Jack awake, exclaiming, “Arise ye sluggard, the sun is aloft and you should be out of bed, washed, breakfasted and outside shovelling snow from your doorstep. No time for glooming.”
Jack tried to turn away grumbling, “Killick can do that.”
But Stephen would have none of it and pulled the blankets off Jack and pushed him flat on his back and sat on him and poked him, “No Jack, you shall help me. Your humours are disordered and you need some sunshine and exercise to correct them and as your doctor, I insist.”
Jack stared back at him and thought of throwing his friend off and reclaiming the blankets but he hesitated as he knew from that look that Stephen would not be denied and would not let him sink back into his warm nest of misery without a fight and the last thing Jack wanted was to fight with his friend.
Seeing Jack’s resistance weaken, Stephen smiled and bent down again and kissed him, caressing his face and crooning, “Come my dear, you know you need to feel the warmth of the sun on your skin again. I know I certainly do, if I am ever to melt the ice in my veins.” He kissed Jack passionately, giving the lie to his words.
Jack now enjoying this, attempted to pull Stephen closer, muttering, “If it is heat….”
Stephen, quicker than Jack eluded his attempts to pull him down into a bear hug, sat up and shook his head, “No my dear, that is not what you need.” He got off the bed and walked back to the sunlight at the window and beckoned Jack to follow him.
Jack groaned but complied and padded over to Stephen and held him close, rocking him in his arms and kissing the bare shoulder that peeked from his nightshirt. He looked up and out of the window and like Stephen was drawn to the brilliant beauty of the snow covered landscape, glittering in the sun beneath a clear blue sky. Jack looked down into Stephen’s face and smiled and bent and kissed him, “My dear are you sure you don’t want a little exercise in my bed to warm you before we go outside to shovel snow?”
“Shovel snow? Why should you be shovelling snow sir? Don’t you want your bacon and eggs sir and coffee which I was just about to set on the table sir? Will you be dressing before you take breakfast sir?” Killick stood at the door glowering and squinting in the bright sunlight that now flooded the whole room.
Jack sighed and replied, “Yes Killick, the doctor and I will be down presently.”
Stephen bent his head and his shoulders heaved in silent mirth and once Killick had stomped back down the hall, looked up at Jack and said, “I don’t think he approves of my presence in your bedroom. Perhaps he thinks it is not fitting for a widower to….”
Jack grabbed Stephen by the shoulders and pulled him close, kissing him fiercely and muttered, “Damn Killick, he can disapprove all he likes, I’ll kiss you if I want and why shouldn’t we share a bed? There’s no one here to complain?”
“Well I shall be quite happy to get dressed and take my breakfast and coffee. So shall you, and out into the sun we shall go.” Stephen pecked Jack’s cheek and escaped to his room.
After breakfast and two pots of coffee each, Jack wrapped Stephen in his warmest coat and then added a scarf and pulled a Monmouth cap onto his thinning pate while Stephen protested about being smothered. “I shall hardly be able to lift any snow with all these clothes on me,” he spluttered as he followed Jack to the back door.
They spent a good three hours clearing a path in the snow from the back door to the stables and then from the front door out to the gates of the courtyard. Jack throwing the snow with his shovel expending the pent up energy of his grief and anger at the loss of Sophie and Stephen followed behind, pushing back the piles of snow and flattening them away from the path Jack was creating.
Killick kept running to the windows and checking their progress, shaking his head and glooming, “Well if old Bonden was still here, he’d be in a right state. The doctor out in the cold, he will be cramping up and all his old miseries and the arthritis will be back on him. You mark my words. I don’t know what possessed them to go out there shovelling snow. The yardman or the stable boy should be doing it! Mrs Sophie wouldn’t like it.”
The next day with some of the roads clearing with the melting of the snow Jack and Stephen, to Killick’s horror went out riding. On their way back to the house from the stables, Jack looked to the sky and around him, sniffing the air and then nodded his head and looked at Stephen, saying, “Maybe in the next few days, if the roads are open I might go down to Shelmerston, see if anyone is interested in a cruise and check up on the Surprise, see whether she’ll need much work. I wonder what Tom Pullings is up to? I haven’t heard that he’s got a ship at the moment.”
Stephen looked up at his friend and patted his arm, “Yes my dear, I’m sure if he has no post he would be glad of the chance of a cruise. Shall I write him a note telling him of our plans?”
“Yes Stephen, yes. I’ll be glad to be at sea again, even if we meet with a blow or two before we reach Gibraltar.” Jack strode on ahead calling, “Killick, Killick there ….”
With much grumbling and dark looks, Killick packed Jack’s sea chest and hauling it up he carried it down to the front door and waited at the open door till Jack brought the trap round to the front courtyard and then hoisted the chest onto the tray, huffing and puffing as he pushed it against the back of the seat. “All stowed sir.”
“Thankee Killick! I’ll be at Shelmerston to find out whether the Surprise is seaworthy. If she is I’ll send a message here and I expect you to pack up the Doctor’s things and get them, yourself and him to Shelmerston as quick as can be. Lose not a minute. And Padeen, if he wants to come, bring him too. The other servants will close the house. Where is Stephen?”
A clattering that sounded like a small herd of elephants charging down the stairs presaged Stephen’s arrival. “I’m sorry my dear. I was just finishing my letter to Brigid before you left. If you could arrange for it to be sent…” Stephen reached up to give him the letter and Jack reached down and pulled him up into a bear hug, clasping him tight and whispering, “Take care my dear and hurry down to Shelmerston as soon as I send word.”
To Jack’s surprise there were many old Shelmerstonians eager for a cruise, regardless of the weather and winter or maybe like Stephen they missed the warmth and sunshine of the Med. “It will be good to be back on board the Surprise, away from the wife, always wanting this and that done around the house and nagging you till you do it and then changing her mind once it’s been done. Plagues of revenue men too so that a man can’t make a decent living like we used to during the war,” muttered a grizzled old Surprise to Jack in the inn beside the dock where the Surprise was moored. Jack knew that the man had accumulated a decent amount of prize money when he sailed with him, but Jack also knew that like many other seamen holding onto prize money once ashore proved difficult. They were a prodigal lot and Jack knew that he was no better and thanked God that he had Sophie and Stephen to get him out of financial scrapes.
Jack was intensely busy for the next few weeks ordering and arranging the delivery of stores and the refitting of the ship and during those weeks felt the weariness and pain drop away as he was diverted from his thoughts of Sophie and his loss. In the final week he had the assistance of Pullings who had responded immediately to Stephen’s note offering a cruise on the Surprise, eager to be at sea too. With a rather dull life at home on half-pay and very low chance of a post on an East Indiaman and none whatsoever of a Royal Navy posting, he too was relieved to leave hearth and home for the remembered excitements of life afloat. With Pullings’ help the work to ready the ship, get the last few men required for the crew and the stores on board was made much easier and went much faster than Jack on his own and so he was able to send off his letter to Stephen and Killick to join him as soon as possible.
There was a welcome influx of young men who had been middies or junior officers with Jack, all eager to join even without the lure of prizes. News of his proposed cruise had spread quickly through the network of Jack’s followers across the southern ports of England. This too warmed his heart to be surrounded by such a large group of young men wanting to serve under him without the obvious attractions of prize money. The crew was smaller than a wartime crew as there was now no need for any of the gunners and the Surprise just needed enough men to sail her, but Jack still regretted their absence, even if it saved him and Stephen the cost of their wages.
Everything and everyone was ready to sail, but still there was no sign of Stephen and Killick. Jack paced on the quarter deck staring at the road winding down the hill into Shelmerston and muttering, “Where could they have got to now. I sent them fair warning, plenty of time to get here.” He sighed and shook his head and smiled at Pullings standing beside him, “Some things never change. The Doctor must have come across some bird, plant or toad that he must examine. I would have thought Killick would be wise to his ways by now and headed him off before he could get distracted.”
“Yes, sir, I’m sure that’s the case.” Pulling agreed and now spotting a movement on the horizon, pointed and said, “Perhaps that is them now, sir.”
Jack got out his glass and focused it on the road staring intently, then smiled and closed it. “Yes there they are, just when I was thinking we would miss our tide.”
The trap clattered through the town, Padeen reins in hand calmly urging the horse on and Stephen calling out and waving to old friends and shipmates in the town, Killick dark faced and furious, muttering, “We’re late, look the Admiral’s pacing on the deck. He’ll have me hide.”
“No, he won’t Killick. There is a perfectly good explanation as to why we took a little longer than the Admiral’s, ‘lose not a minute’ style of travel. I prefer to travel like a gentleman and at my own pace and if there are specimens of great scientific interest to be observed or collected, I will not rush past or ignore them. It is my duty to take the appropriate action to ensure we do not lose any chance to add to the depth and breadth of scientific knowledge. Jack will understand. Oh hallo, Mrs Florey, how is young Leonard?” He called out to the woman with her basket standing in the square.
“Right fine now Doctor, that you and the Admiral is going to sea. Our Leonard needs a good airing! This being stuck at home with just the fishing and no trade because of them buggers, the revenue men was getting too much for him. He’ll be glad of some time afloat, even if there’s no prize money. You best hurry now or the Admiral will miss his tide and you’ll be for it!”
“Told you so,” muttered Killick.
Jack called out to them as they arrived at the quay, “You’re late!”
Stephen called back, “And if we are, surely it makes not a jot of difference. We are going on a pleasure cruise, not to war and we are under no tyrannical orders demanding that we sail to some far distant port at breakneck speed, ignoring all the sights and beauty that are to be observed along the way. No Jack, this time we will take our time! And I begin the way I intend to continue, so no more harping about tides and lateness!”
Jack sighed and looked down at Killick, “Hurry along there Killick and get the Doctor’s dunnage aboard.”
“Yes sir,” Killick jumped down from the back of the trap and hauled Stephen’s sea chest up to his shoulder and headed for the gangway, calling to Padeen, “Help me with the Doctor’s bibs and bobs. I swear he’s collected half a dozen things along the way, filling up the wagon.”
Stephen alighted and turned to Padeen, “Padeen my dear do help Killick with the luggage and then go stable the horse at the inn and arrange for someone to return the horse and dray to Woolcombe.” He then ran up the gangway on to the ship and walked slowly up to the quarterdeck nodding to all the men on deck and calling out to one, “Dunkerley how are you my dear? Your scrotum is quite healed?” The poor man nodded and scuttled away, his face aflame.
Jack gave up any pretence of sternness asked, “So what have you been collecting Stephen that has kept you so late?”
“Oh this and that, I shall show you later,” Stephen turned to Pullings, “Dear Tom, how good it is to see you. How is your wife?”
“Very good sir! She’s happy to see me back at sea. Though I love her and the children dearly, it’s good to be back on board the Surprise.” Pullings turned to Jack, “Can we get underway sir, once Padeen returns?”
Jack nodded, “Let it be so, Mr Pullings.” Jack strode to starboard and looked out to sea and smiled, the wind ruffled his now white streaked blonde hair and his blue eyes squinted in the sun and breathed the sea air deep. He was home.
Stephen stared at him, tempted to smooth down the strands of wayward hair and knew part of his task was done. Jack was back where he belonged and perhaps his pain would fade with time and their life at sea. He smiled at Jack and murmured quietly, “And you Jack, how are you?”
Jack looked down and patted Stephen’s hand, “I’m fine my dear, just fine. Thank you for suggesting this. It will be good to go back to all our old haunts. It will not be the same, I know it but this time as you have said, we shall take our time.” He put his arm round the slighter man’s shoulders and they both looked forward to their future together.