Uh....never was good at coming up with subjects
Well, after that thrilling subject, I'm sure you're all just breathless to hear what I have to say. Well, probably not, but I can hope.
Well, I don't really no what to say. I'm looking for a new job, one that pays better and I can actually be sure of when I'm working and how much I'll get paid because with The Goose you never actually know, which sucks. I did get called the "Super star of The Goose". Not an official title of course my bosses just think I'm good at my job, which is true I guess. I just do what I am supposed to and with a smile to, believe it or not.
But, seriously, if I want to move out into my own place and get my self set up and independent then I need to be earning more and have it be a salary so I know exactly what I'll have every month instead of taking a guess at how much I'll be living off every week. Not sure where I want to work, just some where I can earn about £10,000-£12,000 a year. I think it is a reasonable amount and should be enough for me to get by on.
Then again, I'm always pleasantly surprised when there is over a £100 in my bank account on a friday, just puts a smile on my face, you know? I'm always tempted to buy stuff at amazon, but I know I can't because i need to try and save up.
I'm really bad for my bank account. I think if I had enough money to need an accountant then they would keep having heart attakcs from the stress of me spending all my money. Oh well. I'm young. Which sucks too.
When you're young, all the decisions you make that seem the right ones for you, older people tell you that you're too young to be thinking about that sort of stuff. It sucks. If you don't start thinking about them now, then when? When it's too late for you to be prepared? That makes alot of sense. I hate it.
But on the other hand, when I think about everything that you need to worry about when you become independent and how little I know about all of it, I worry that I'll never be ready for it. It seems so over whelming. I don't know, maybe that is something uni teaches you to deal with. I know if I'll be lucky to move out by the time I'm 19, but I'll try, and if not, then by the time I'm 20. It gives me a time line to work on.
Wow, I didn't realise how much I've written, and it'll probably be longer when I put in some song lyrics, just because I feel like it and they mean alot to me. This first one is from Machine Head, who I listened to constantly for the last 5 weeks.
Nausea
One more time you've
gotten into my head
I've let your words get
into me
Every time I try to talk,
you never listen
You got the answers,
I don't know a thing
But you ask me what these
lights are in my eyes
They're a freight train
ahead
And they're straight
coming your way
You've tied yourself down
to the tracks
Now you want help from me
to cut you free
If it was me
my hour of need
You'd leave me there to
bleed
I'm fucking sick of you
and all that shit you're
pulling
Your fuckin' attitude
had better go on
You cheat and you lie
and you stole and denied
And you turned on your
friends
when you burned all those
bridges
This time you won't be
getting under my skin
What you had I've taken
away
Tell me what you're gonna
do, it doesn't matter
You're always talking, it
don't mean a thing
So ask me what these
lights are in my eyes
They're a freight train
ahead
And they're straight
coming your way
You've tied yourself down
to the tracks
Now you want help from me
to cut you free
If it was me
my hour of need
You'd leave me there to
bleed
I'm fucking sick of you
and all that shit you're
pulling
Your fuckin' attitude
had better go on
You cheat and you lie
and you stole and denied
And you turned on your
friends
when you burned all those
bridges
Well you sat there and
cried
As these words came to
glide
through your delicate skin
leaving blood on these
pages
So how does it feel
to be at one with the fate I
seal
They're a freight train
ahead
And they're straight
coming your way
You've tied yourself down
to the tracks
Now you want help from
me to cut you free
If it was me
my hour of need
You'd leave me there
to bleed
I'm fucking sick of you
and all that shit you're
pulling
Your fuckin' attitude
had better go on
You cheat and you lie
and you stole and denied
And you turned on your
friends
when you burned all those
bridges.
I'll need to put all this stuff into a an LJ cut it'll just clog up all your f-list. Next one is another Machine Head one.
Trephination
I used to want to take a
drill to my head
Let the pain out of the hole
I used to want to cut the
veins in my neck
Cool the blood boiling my
soul
When I wondered, why my
daily headaches thundered
Tried to buffer, pushing
down the pain I suffered
Mutilated, feeling so
humiliated
Cannot wash the dirt off
underneath my skin
There was a part of me left
far behind
When at the age of five
years old
I had my innocence taken
from me
Emptiness would fill the
hole
Now a second grader,
thinking why I don't feel
better
Why I'm filthy, why the hell
I feel so guilty
When drawing stick men
of pornographic men and
women
Thinking all the time
there's something wrong
with me
Everyday for three years
from dawn 'til dusk a
migraine
would take me and break me
And it'd cripple me so
much that
In dreams, it'd seem, with
a hole in my temple
that I could probably make
my headaches finally go
away
Trephination
Trephination
The enemy inside of me
won't let me free
wants me to bleed
And after three years now
my headaches wear off
For reasons not quite to
me known
The acupuncture needles
sticking my skin
Pushed them down as far
as they'd go
But now I'm older and now
inside my anger smolders
from depression, to fighting
Taking out my vengeance
Consequences, now I'd
question during sex if ...
Is this how it fucking feels
or am I faking it ?
No longer the child that
you left there at the bart
tracks
I'm now at 17, left in an
empty blackness
On drugs, with thugs, and
thinking "Goddamn ?"
I'm ending up in a failure,
in the gutter passed out
Trephination
Trephination
This enemy inside of me
won't let me free
wants me to bleed
Now I'm older and in this
man an anger smolders
Now I'm thinking a hole in
you is what I'm seeing
Your depression, is the
dent I kick in you in
vengeance
Consequences are the pain
I'd give to you
I know that I'm dreaming,
but in this dream I go in
go through it, and end it
And though I'd never do it
I'm killing you, hand on
the trigger - pull it
Your final thought'll be a
bullet in your fuckin' head
Trephination
Trephination
This enemy inside of me
I'm now killing
to make me free.
Those are the two main ones that I got into. Maybe I'll try and learn them at some point. Which brings me to my next point. I may have found someone to start a band with, and they will actually want me in the band and not think of my as a possible problem. Not going to go into that one. So yeah, he's called Dan is ginger and cool. We met one night while I was out with someone from work and decided to start up a band, just need a drummer, possibly lead guitarist and a singer. Need to start talking to him more though, other wise it's not going to go any where.
I think it would be cool if I could actually get into a band, I'm not expecting to make it big, but playing with other people with other instruments might just help me get better. But to be honest my skills have almost gone back to the beginning. I've been neglecting my bass, which is how I missed my amp lead being broken for I don't know how long. So I need to get a new one of those and a new amp too, because mine is American and shit.
Right, well, I think I've written enough shit to entertain you people. I'll update again if any of you actually liked reading this.
Well, I don't really no what to say. I'm looking for a new job, one that pays better and I can actually be sure of when I'm working and how much I'll get paid because with The Goose you never actually know, which sucks. I did get called the "Super star of The Goose". Not an official title of course my bosses just think I'm good at my job, which is true I guess. I just do what I am supposed to and with a smile to, believe it or not.
But, seriously, if I want to move out into my own place and get my self set up and independent then I need to be earning more and have it be a salary so I know exactly what I'll have every month instead of taking a guess at how much I'll be living off every week. Not sure where I want to work, just some where I can earn about £10,000-£12,000 a year. I think it is a reasonable amount and should be enough for me to get by on.
Then again, I'm always pleasantly surprised when there is over a £100 in my bank account on a friday, just puts a smile on my face, you know? I'm always tempted to buy stuff at amazon, but I know I can't because i need to try and save up.
I'm really bad for my bank account. I think if I had enough money to need an accountant then they would keep having heart attakcs from the stress of me spending all my money. Oh well. I'm young. Which sucks too.
When you're young, all the decisions you make that seem the right ones for you, older people tell you that you're too young to be thinking about that sort of stuff. It sucks. If you don't start thinking about them now, then when? When it's too late for you to be prepared? That makes alot of sense. I hate it.
But on the other hand, when I think about everything that you need to worry about when you become independent and how little I know about all of it, I worry that I'll never be ready for it. It seems so over whelming. I don't know, maybe that is something uni teaches you to deal with. I know if I'll be lucky to move out by the time I'm 19, but I'll try, and if not, then by the time I'm 20. It gives me a time line to work on.
Wow, I didn't realise how much I've written, and it'll probably be longer when I put in some song lyrics, just because I feel like it and they mean alot to me. This first one is from Machine Head, who I listened to constantly for the last 5 weeks.
Nausea
One more time you've
gotten into my head
I've let your words get
into me
Every time I try to talk,
you never listen
You got the answers,
I don't know a thing
But you ask me what these
lights are in my eyes
They're a freight train
ahead
And they're straight
coming your way
You've tied yourself down
to the tracks
Now you want help from me
to cut you free
If it was me
my hour of need
You'd leave me there to
bleed
I'm fucking sick of you
and all that shit you're
pulling
Your fuckin' attitude
had better go on
You cheat and you lie
and you stole and denied
And you turned on your
friends
when you burned all those
bridges
This time you won't be
getting under my skin
What you had I've taken
away
Tell me what you're gonna
do, it doesn't matter
You're always talking, it
don't mean a thing
So ask me what these
lights are in my eyes
They're a freight train
ahead
And they're straight
coming your way
You've tied yourself down
to the tracks
Now you want help from me
to cut you free
If it was me
my hour of need
You'd leave me there to
bleed
I'm fucking sick of you
and all that shit you're
pulling
Your fuckin' attitude
had better go on
You cheat and you lie
and you stole and denied
And you turned on your
friends
when you burned all those
bridges
Well you sat there and
cried
As these words came to
glide
through your delicate skin
leaving blood on these
pages
So how does it feel
to be at one with the fate I
seal
They're a freight train
ahead
And they're straight
coming your way
You've tied yourself down
to the tracks
Now you want help from
me to cut you free
If it was me
my hour of need
You'd leave me there
to bleed
I'm fucking sick of you
and all that shit you're
pulling
Your fuckin' attitude
had better go on
You cheat and you lie
and you stole and denied
And you turned on your
friends
when you burned all those
bridges.
I'll need to put all this stuff into a an LJ cut it'll just clog up all your f-list. Next one is another Machine Head one.
Trephination
I used to want to take a
drill to my head
Let the pain out of the hole
I used to want to cut the
veins in my neck
Cool the blood boiling my
soul
When I wondered, why my
daily headaches thundered
Tried to buffer, pushing
down the pain I suffered
Mutilated, feeling so
humiliated
Cannot wash the dirt off
underneath my skin
There was a part of me left
far behind
When at the age of five
years old
I had my innocence taken
from me
Emptiness would fill the
hole
Now a second grader,
thinking why I don't feel
better
Why I'm filthy, why the hell
I feel so guilty
When drawing stick men
of pornographic men and
women
Thinking all the time
there's something wrong
with me
Everyday for three years
from dawn 'til dusk a
migraine
would take me and break me
And it'd cripple me so
much that
In dreams, it'd seem, with
a hole in my temple
that I could probably make
my headaches finally go
away
Trephination
Trephination
The enemy inside of me
won't let me free
wants me to bleed
And after three years now
my headaches wear off
For reasons not quite to
me known
The acupuncture needles
sticking my skin
Pushed them down as far
as they'd go
But now I'm older and now
inside my anger smolders
from depression, to fighting
Taking out my vengeance
Consequences, now I'd
question during sex if ...
Is this how it fucking feels
or am I faking it ?
No longer the child that
you left there at the bart
tracks
I'm now at 17, left in an
empty blackness
On drugs, with thugs, and
thinking "Goddamn ?"
I'm ending up in a failure,
in the gutter passed out
Trephination
Trephination
This enemy inside of me
won't let me free
wants me to bleed
Now I'm older and in this
man an anger smolders
Now I'm thinking a hole in
you is what I'm seeing
Your depression, is the
dent I kick in you in
vengeance
Consequences are the pain
I'd give to you
I know that I'm dreaming,
but in this dream I go in
go through it, and end it
And though I'd never do it
I'm killing you, hand on
the trigger - pull it
Your final thought'll be a
bullet in your fuckin' head
Trephination
Trephination
This enemy inside of me
I'm now killing
to make me free.
Those are the two main ones that I got into. Maybe I'll try and learn them at some point. Which brings me to my next point. I may have found someone to start a band with, and they will actually want me in the band and not think of my as a possible problem. Not going to go into that one. So yeah, he's called Dan is ginger and cool. We met one night while I was out with someone from work and decided to start up a band, just need a drummer, possibly lead guitarist and a singer. Need to start talking to him more though, other wise it's not going to go any where.
I think it would be cool if I could actually get into a band, I'm not expecting to make it big, but playing with other people with other instruments might just help me get better. But to be honest my skills have almost gone back to the beginning. I've been neglecting my bass, which is how I missed my amp lead being broken for I don't know how long. So I need to get a new one of those and a new amp too, because mine is American and shit.
Right, well, I think I've written enough shit to entertain you people. I'll update again if any of you actually liked reading this.