On being alone

[p0ison1vy]

I suddenly find myself in a strange mood and need some place to organize and release these feelings

Comments

[clearwater88]

i'll be your casual friend, and we can get tested for HIV togther one day, it's sad going alone, all these old people everywhere.

[p0ison1vy]

that would be splendid.
you seem like you'd be hyper all the time in real life, is that true?

[clearwater88]

maybe sometimes if there's something to be excited about? we can all get a little hyper sometimes.
in real life i'm told i'm laidback, and "chill."

You

[anonymous]

I may have said goodbye to you in one way, however I have not done so with the certain totality that has nothing more to say, nor add to your life. True though it may be to my thinking that we will always clash more then meet eye to eye; I cannot in all good consciousness give up on some ever half present feelings that I should check in on you from time to time, and that just what I do. I Google p0ison1vy, and see how life's treating you but more importantly how your treating life

Re: You

[p0ison1vy]

I suppose I understand and agree with what you're saying. I do think that my interpersonal intelligence causes me to be very selective, and isolate myself; I know that in some ways I don't give many people a chance... However, I don't feel that when I do this I'm being unreasonable. I feel like if someone deserves a chance, I give it to them, and the kind of chance a person gets, depends on them

You

[anonymous]

I think you need to give yourself a chance more then the people you speak of, you were very open regarding what you wrote, in the months that have passed since we last spoke I see this as growth in a positive direction, less argumentative, and more introspective... and on that note consider this

Re: You

[anonymous]

Well, I don't know if I've become any more introspective than I've always been, and I'm still argumentative, you just haven't had a chance to witness it lately

[twisting_vine_x]

Yeah... here's me randomly livejournal creeping. I know we haven't talked in forevever, but I came back to livejournal for a place to spill my guts, and I figured I would say hi.

If you want someone to come along for your HIV test, I'll be back by the end of April. I know that's still awhile, but if you haven't gone by then, I would be happy to come along.

As for making friends, I've always thought that you're a smart and funny individual, along with being quite eccentric, and you will eventually find people to share that with. I hope you're getting some love out of the little fuzzies, at least. Animals can often be better than people, in that they never judge, and they always love you.

Good luck with everything. Let me know if you'd like a companion during the summer! Hugs

[p0ison1vy]

Mm, I read your recent entries I feel that I can really relate to how you're feeling. I've had health problems for a few years now that my doctor can't explain; for the first year or so I was worrying about it from the moment I woke up to when I'd go to bed, every day. It fucked up my grades, I couldn't concentrate at all, and also just distanced me even more from my body, making my social anxiety worse. I think feeling distant is here to stay, for the time being so I've learned to deal.
I was worried about you when you were having those problems in grade 12!

Anyhow, I'd love to hang out whenever you can, I really appreciate your comment and your offer :) thanks.
good luck with school and your bod! stay strong.

[twisting_vine_x]

Yeah... life is hard enough to do when you're healthy... when you're not all there, well... everything is just that much more difficult.

I would love to hang out in the summer. :)

I shall do my best to stay strong. You too, and hugs from Kingston! <3

[letsgethonest]

I found this randomly and relate so much. I didn't make many friends until college... when I started drinking (drinking made me friends and I wouldn't even remember its scary) even then I didn't really relate to many people until I met my gay friend shane. He's alot like you too lol.
Ugh i love him though like a best friend i never had before.

I hope you also find a nice compassionate funny and um... respectable person too share your inner most thoughts with soon :P without use of alcohol of course.