His days like crazy paving.

[p_m_cryan]

The seemingly old man coughed as he emerged from his nest of piled-up newspapers and scavenged cardboard under the rotting footbridge. He blinked in vexation at watery sunlight stabbing painfully into his rheumy eyes. He hitched one shoulder higher than the other as he straightened from a crouch to what passed for a standing position

Comments

[bleodswean]

A really nice descriptive piece.

[p_m_cryan]

Thanks. I tried not to overload it with adjectives and adverbs, but my narrative style always seems to use SOME degree of description.

In your initial reading of the piece, did it stand alone without the footnote?

[bleodswean]

Okay, didn't read the footnote. But now I have, and yes, it worked without the footnote. I don't even know what the second para of the footnote means...cuz I am uncultured. ;) I don't think you need the footnote, but of course, it's your piece.

Also, I didn't see the title until I logged off my kindle and onto my desktop. The title IS VITALLY important to your interp of the prompt and you might want to include it down in the body of the text. Nice title.

[p_m_cryan]

The title IS VITALLY important to your interp of the prompt and you might want to include it down in the body of the text. Nice title.

Hmmmmm. The title is actually part of the quote about "Strange business, time". I had taken it out deliberately. Back in it goes.

I didn't know that about Kindle readers... I'm so chained to my desktop.

[ellakite]

I do vaguely recall The Capatain... and your leaving a blanket for him.

Perhaps not the most pleasant of trips down Memory Lane... but still an interesting trip. Thanks for taking me along for the ride.

[p_m_cryan]

Yeah, the Eighties were definitely an interesting trip, in and of themselves.

As I mentioned in the comments of a previous entry, it seems that Craig Ferguson and I may have been hanging out at some of the same bars in 1983.

I'm glad that neither Craig nor I have turned out to be Captain. There's an army of Captains [no pun intended] in every city.

[kagomeshuko]

Nice.

[p_m_cryan]

Thank you!

[eska818]

He wanted to get into the blue, didn't he...

This is an amazing line, and it leaves so many possibilities for the imagination. Love this piece.

[p_m_cryan]

Thank you! I tried to leave room for a few different "takes" on matters.

[itsjustc]

This is a very descriptive piece of writing. It describes the situation well.

I enjoyed reading it.