"On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?"
Since I do have a few more things I want to say, I will say them here. You will know these words are for you.
I tried to get in touch with you several times last week, but you didn't want to talk, so I had no reason to feel you would want to hang out with me. I figured you needed some space, so I gave it to you. I apparently assumed wrongly, and I apologize, but if you didn't need that, you could have come to find me, I was hoping that you would.
You took my comment about moving totally out of context. It was something I was thinking about within the next few years, not tomorrow or next week. If you had come to me with concerns about the comment, I would have been happy to discuss it with you. Instead, you automatically assumed that I was ditching you and left me a scathing comment rather than talking to me.
I did not shut you out because of her. I had to shut you out for my own sanity, at least for a few days. I understand that my actions before Friday may have unintentionally hurt you, but your words hurt me too. You did not seem willing to listen to me. You had already made your assumptions about things. I could have chased you down to try to explain things to you, but I know how you can be when you are angry, and I knew that if I tried, I would only be sorely defeated and about a thousand more times upset.
I would give thought to patching up our friendship, but I know that right now, I need some time to sort things out. You may not think I have a reason to be, but I am hurt, too. You know where my buttons are, and you pushed them all quite well, and now I need time to heal.
I am sorry you are hurting. I am sorry that there are things that are not going right for you. I am sorry that people have hurt you in the past, and that led you to think I would do the same. I guess I did. The one thing I am trying to do differently is to spare you the arguments, the further pain. Sometimes, it hurts a little less to cut the cord than to tug it and tug it until it finally breaks.
I won't tell you that you can't contact me, if you still have a desire to. E-mail me if you wish. I may not respond right away. If I am confronted with bitterness or rage, I will not read what you have to say, I will know at that point there is nothing more I can do. I am not reading journals for a while, so do not reply to me through that medium, I will not read it. LJ is too much drama and not enough benefit for me.
Regardless, I do wish you all the best in life.