"The Raven..."
...if Edgar Allen Poe had been a 12-year-old AOLer.
ONC3 UPON A MIDNIGHT DREARY WHIEL I PONDER3D W3AK AND WEARY
OV3R MANY A QUANET AND CURIOUS VOLUM3 OF FORGOTEN LOR3
WHIEL I NOD3D N3ARLY NAPNG SUD3NLY THEYRE CME A TAPNG
AS OF SOMEONE G3NTLY RAPNG RAPNG AT MAH CHMBR DOR11!!
WTF TIS SOM3 VISI2R I MUTERED TAPNG AT MAH CHMBR DOR
ONLY THIS AND NOTHNG MORE
AH!1!1! OMG WTF LOL DISTINCTLY I REMAMBR IT WAS IN DA BLEAK DECAMBR
AND 3ACH SAPARAET DYNG EMBR WROUGHT ITS GHOST UPON DA FLOR
EAEGRLY111!1 OMG I WISHAD DA MOROW VANELY I HAD SOUGHT 2 BOROW
FROM MAH BOKS SURC3AES OF SOROW SOROW FOR TEH LOST LENORE
FOR!1!1! WTF TEH R AND RADIANT MADEAN WHOM TEH ANGALS NME LENOR3
NMELAS HERA FORAV3RMORE
AND!!!11!1 WTF LOL TEH SILKEN SAD UNCARTANE RUSTLNG OF 3ACH PURPLE CURTANETHRILAD M3--
FILED M3 WIT FANTASTIC TERORS N3VER FALT BFOR3
SO TAHT NOW 2 STIL DA BATNG OF MAH HEART I S2D REP3ATNG
TIS SOMA VISI2R ANTR3ATNG 3NTRANCE AT MAH CHMBR DOR
SOME LAET VISI2R 3NTR3ATNG 3NTRANCA AT MAH CHMBR DOR
THIS!11! LOL IT IS AND NOTHNG MORE
PRAS3NTLY!11111!1 LOL MAH SU GREW STRONGER H3SITATNG THEN NO LONGER
SIR SADE I OR MADM TRULY UR FORGIEVNES I IMPLORE
BUT DA FACT IS I WAS NAPNG AND SO GENTLY U CME RAPNG
AND SO FANETLY U CME TAPNG TAPNG AT MAH CHMBR DOR
TAHT I SCARCE WAS SURE I H3ARD U1!11 OMG WTF H3RE I OPENED WIED DA DOR--
DARKNES THEYRE AND NOTHNG MORE
DEP!1!!1 OMG LOL IN2 TEH DARKNAS PERNG LONG I S2D THEYRE WOND3RNG FEARNG
DOUBTNG DREMNG DRAMS NO MORTALS EVER DAERD 2 DR3M BFORA
BUT DA SIELNC3 WAS UNBROK3N AND DA STILNES GAEV NO 2K3N
AND DA ONLY WORD THEYRE SPOK3N WAS TEH WHISPAR3D WORD
LENORE?!???? WTF LOL THIS I WHISP3RAD AND AN 3CHO MURMURAD BAK DA WORD
L3NORA1!!!111 WTF LOL MERELY THIS AND NOTHNG MORE
BAK!!1!!11 OMG WTF IN2 DA CHMBR TURNNG AL MAH SU WITHIN M3 BURNNG
SON AGANE I HEARD A TAPNG SOMETHNG LOUD3R THAN BFORE
SURAL SADE I SURELY TAHT IS SOMATHNG AT MAH WINDOW LATIEC
LAT1!!!!1 OMG ME SE THAN WT IS AND THIS MYSTARY 3XPLOR3
LET1111 OMG WTF MAH HAART B STIL A MOMENT AND THIS MYST3RY AXPLORE
11!11 LOL TIS DA WIND AND NOTHNG MORE
OPAN11!!! WTF LOL H3R3 I FLUNG TEH SHUTAR WH3N WIT MANY A FLIRT AND FLUTAR
IN THEIR ST3PAD A STAETLY RAEVN OF TEH SANETLY DAYS OF YORE
NOT11!1!!!! OMG DA LAAST OBISANCA MAED HE NOT A MINUT3 S2PED OR STAEYD H3
BUT WIT MEIN OF LORD OR LADY P3RCH3D ABOV3 MAH CHMBR DOR
P3RCHED!!!!1!1! OMG LOL UPON A BUST OF PALAS JUST ABOVE MAH CHMBR DOR
PARCHAD AND SAT AND NOTHNG MORE
THEN1!111!! THIS EBONY BIRD BGUILNG MAH SAD FANCY IN2 SMILNG
BY DA GRAEV AND STARN DECORUM OF DA COUNT3NANCE IT WOR3
THOUGH THY CRAST B SHORN AND SHAEVN THOU I SADE ART SUR3 NO CRAEVN
GHASTLY GRIM AND ANCEINT RAEVN WANDARNG FROM DA NIGHTLY SHORE
TEL11111 OMG LOL ME WT LORDLY NMA IS ON TEH NIGHTS PLU2NIAN SHOR3
QUOTH!11!!! OMG WTF LOL DA RAEVN NEVERMOR3
MUCH1!!!!!1 OMG LOL I MARVEL3D THIS UNGANELY FOWL 2 HEAR DISCOURS3 SO PLANELY
THOUGH ITS ANSW3R LITLE M3ANNG LITL3 RELEVANCY BORA
FOR W3 CANOT HELP AGRENG TAHT NO LIVNG HUMAN BNG
EV3R YET WAS BLESAD WIT SENG BIRD ABOVE HIS CHMBR DOR
BIRD OR BAST UPON TEH SCULPTURED BUST ABOVE HIS CHMBR
WIT SUCH NME AS N3V3RMORE
BUT111!!11 WTF LOL DA RAEVN SITNG LONELY ON TAHT PLACID BUST SPOK3 ONLY
TAHT ON3 WORD AS IF HIS SU IN TAHT ON3 WORD H3 DID OUTPOUR
NOTHNG1!!1!!1! OMG LOL FURTHER TH3N HE UTARED NOT A F3ATHER THEN HA FLUT3RED
TIL I SCARC3LY MOR3 THAN MUTERED OTHAR FREINDS HAEV FLOWN BFOR3
ON TEH MOROW H3 WIL LAAEV MA AS MAH HOP3S HAEV FLOWN BFORA
TH3N!!1!11! OMG WTF TEH BIRD SADE NAV3RMOR3
STARTLED!!!111! OMG AT DA STILNAS BROK3N BY REPLY SO APTLY SPOKEN
DOUBTL3S SADE I WUT IT UT3RS IS ITS ONLY S2K AND S2RE
CAUGHT FROM SOME UNHAPY MASTER WHOM UNMERCIFUL DISASTER
FOLOWAD FAST AND FOLOW3D FASTER TIL HIS SONGS ONE BURDEN BORE--
TIL DA DIRG3S OF HIS HOPE TAHT M3LANCHOLY BURD3N BORE
OF NEVAR--N3V3RMORA
BUT1!1!!1 TEH RAEVN STIL BGUILNG AL MAH SAD SU IN2 SMILNG
STRAGEHT I WHELED A CUSHION3D SEAT IN FRONT OF BIRD AND BUST AND DOR
THEN UPON DA V3LVAT SINKNG I B2K MYSELF 2 LINKNG
FANCY UN2 FANCY THINKNG WUT THIS OMINOUS BIRD OF YOR3 WUT THIS GRIM UNGANELY GHASTLY GAUNT AND OMINOUS BIRD OF YORA
M3ANT IN CROAKNG N3VERMORE
THUS1!!!! WTF I SAT 3NGAEGD IN GUESNG BUT NO SYLABL3 3XPRESNG
2 DA FOWL WHOS3 FEIRY EYES NOW BURNED IN2 MAH BOSOMS COR3
THIS AND MORE I SAT DIVINNG WIT MAH H3AD AT EAES R3CLINNG
ON DA CUSHIONS V3LV3T LINNG TAHT DA LMPLIGHT GLOAETD O3R
BUT WHOSE VELVET VIOLAT LINNG WIT DA LMPLIGHT GLOATNG OER
SHE SHAL PR3S AH N3VERMORA
THAN1111! OMG LOL M3THOUGHT TEH ARE GR3W DENS3R PERFUMAD FROM AN UNSEN C3NSAR
SWUNG BY SARAPHIM WHOS3 FOTFALS TINKLED ON TEH TUFT3D FLOR
WR3TCH11!11 OMG LOL I CREID THY GOD HATH LANT THE - BY THESA ANGELS HE HATH
S3NT THE RESPIET--RASPIET AND TEH FROM THY M3MOREIS OF LENORA
QUAF1!!!1! OMG WTF O QUAF THIS KIND NEPENTHA AND FORGAT THIS LOST L3NORE
QUOTH1!1! OMG LOL TEH RAEVN NAV3RMORA
PROPHET111111 WTF LOL SADE I THNG OF EVIL-PROPH3T!!11 WTF STIL IF BIRD OR DAVIL
WHETH3R111!!!!1 WTF LOL TAMPTER SENT OR WH3THAR T3MP3ST 2S3D THE H3R3 ASHOR3
DESOLAET Y3T AL UNDAUNTAD ON THIS DES3RT LAND ENCHANT3D-
ON THIS HOME BY HOROR HAUNTED-TEL MA TRULY I IMPLORE
IS THEIR THEYRE BALM IN GIELAD-TEL??!!! OMG LOL MA-TEL ME I IMPLOR3
QUOTH1!1!1!1 DA RAEVN N3V3RMORE
PROPHET1!11!! WTF LOL SADE I THNG OF 3VIL-PROPHET STIL IF BIRD OR D3VIL
BY1!1!11! OMG TAHT HEAEVN TAHT BNDS ABOV3 US-BY TAHT GOD WE BOTH ADORE-
T3L THIS SU WIT SOROW LAEDN IF WITHIN DA DISTANT ADEEN
IT SHAL CLASP A SANET3D MADEEN WHOM DA ANGELS NM3 LANOR3--
CLASP A R AND RADIANT MADE3N WHOM DA ANG3LS NME LENOR3
QUOTH??!!! OMG WTF LOL TEH RAEVN N3VARMOR3
B1111 WTF TAHT WORD OUR SIGN OF PARTNG BIRD OR FEIND!!1! OMG WTF LOL I SHREIKED UPSTARTNG-
GET THE BAK IN2 DA TAMPAST AND DA NIGHTS PLU2NIAN SHOR3
LEAEV1!!! WTF NO BLAK PLUME AS A 2K3N OF TAHT LEI THY SU HATH SPOK3N
LAAEV1!!1! OMG LOL MAH LONALIENS UNBROK3N1!!!11 OMG WTF - QUIT TEH BUST ABOVA MAH DOR
TAEK1!1! OMG LOL THY BAK FROM OUT MAH HEART AND TAEK THY FORM FROM OF MAH DOR
QUOTH!1!1!!1! OMG WTF LOL TEH RAEVN N3VARMORA
AND11!!!11 TEH RAEVN NEVER FLITNG STIL IS SITNG STIL IS SITNG
ON TEH PALID BUST OF PALAS JUST ABOVA MAH CHMBR DOR
AND HIS EY3S HAEV AL DA SEMNG OF A D3MONS TAHT IS DREMNG
AND!!1!11 OMG WTF LOL DA LMPLIGHT OER HIM STR3MNG THROWS HIS SHADOW ON DA FLOR
AND MAH SU FROM OUT TAHT SHADOW TAHT LEIS FLOATNG ON TEH FLOR
SHAL B LIFT3D--NEV3RMOR31!!! OMG WTF
This horrible thing bought to you by The AOLer Translator.
ONC3 UPON A MIDNIGHT DREARY WHIEL I PONDER3D W3AK AND WEARY
OV3R MANY A QUANET AND CURIOUS VOLUM3 OF FORGOTEN LOR3
WHIEL I NOD3D N3ARLY NAPNG SUD3NLY THEYRE CME A TAPNG
AS OF SOMEONE G3NTLY RAPNG RAPNG AT MAH CHMBR DOR11!!
WTF TIS SOM3 VISI2R I MUTERED TAPNG AT MAH CHMBR DOR
ONLY THIS AND NOTHNG MORE
AH!1!1! OMG WTF LOL DISTINCTLY I REMAMBR IT WAS IN DA BLEAK DECAMBR
AND 3ACH SAPARAET DYNG EMBR WROUGHT ITS GHOST UPON DA FLOR
EAEGRLY111!1 OMG I WISHAD DA MOROW VANELY I HAD SOUGHT 2 BOROW
FROM MAH BOKS SURC3AES OF SOROW SOROW FOR TEH LOST LENORE
FOR!1!1! WTF TEH R AND RADIANT MADEAN WHOM TEH ANGALS NME LENOR3
NMELAS HERA FORAV3RMORE
AND!!!11!1 WTF LOL TEH SILKEN SAD UNCARTANE RUSTLNG OF 3ACH PURPLE CURTANETHRILAD M3--
FILED M3 WIT FANTASTIC TERORS N3VER FALT BFOR3
SO TAHT NOW 2 STIL DA BATNG OF MAH HEART I S2D REP3ATNG
TIS SOMA VISI2R ANTR3ATNG 3NTRANCE AT MAH CHMBR DOR
SOME LAET VISI2R 3NTR3ATNG 3NTRANCA AT MAH CHMBR DOR
THIS!11! LOL IT IS AND NOTHNG MORE
PRAS3NTLY!11111!1 LOL MAH SU GREW STRONGER H3SITATNG THEN NO LONGER
SIR SADE I OR MADM TRULY UR FORGIEVNES I IMPLORE
BUT DA FACT IS I WAS NAPNG AND SO GENTLY U CME RAPNG
AND SO FANETLY U CME TAPNG TAPNG AT MAH CHMBR DOR
TAHT I SCARCE WAS SURE I H3ARD U1!11 OMG WTF H3RE I OPENED WIED DA DOR--
DARKNES THEYRE AND NOTHNG MORE
DEP!1!!1 OMG LOL IN2 TEH DARKNAS PERNG LONG I S2D THEYRE WOND3RNG FEARNG
DOUBTNG DREMNG DRAMS NO MORTALS EVER DAERD 2 DR3M BFORA
BUT DA SIELNC3 WAS UNBROK3N AND DA STILNES GAEV NO 2K3N
AND DA ONLY WORD THEYRE SPOK3N WAS TEH WHISPAR3D WORD
LENORE?!???? WTF LOL THIS I WHISP3RAD AND AN 3CHO MURMURAD BAK DA WORD
L3NORA1!!!111 WTF LOL MERELY THIS AND NOTHNG MORE
BAK!!1!!11 OMG WTF IN2 DA CHMBR TURNNG AL MAH SU WITHIN M3 BURNNG
SON AGANE I HEARD A TAPNG SOMETHNG LOUD3R THAN BFORE
SURAL SADE I SURELY TAHT IS SOMATHNG AT MAH WINDOW LATIEC
LAT1!!!!1 OMG ME SE THAN WT IS AND THIS MYSTARY 3XPLOR3
LET1111 OMG WTF MAH HAART B STIL A MOMENT AND THIS MYST3RY AXPLORE
11!11 LOL TIS DA WIND AND NOTHNG MORE
OPAN11!!! WTF LOL H3R3 I FLUNG TEH SHUTAR WH3N WIT MANY A FLIRT AND FLUTAR
IN THEIR ST3PAD A STAETLY RAEVN OF TEH SANETLY DAYS OF YORE
NOT11!1!!!! OMG DA LAAST OBISANCA MAED HE NOT A MINUT3 S2PED OR STAEYD H3
BUT WIT MEIN OF LORD OR LADY P3RCH3D ABOV3 MAH CHMBR DOR
P3RCHED!!!!1!1! OMG LOL UPON A BUST OF PALAS JUST ABOVE MAH CHMBR DOR
PARCHAD AND SAT AND NOTHNG MORE
THEN1!111!! THIS EBONY BIRD BGUILNG MAH SAD FANCY IN2 SMILNG
BY DA GRAEV AND STARN DECORUM OF DA COUNT3NANCE IT WOR3
THOUGH THY CRAST B SHORN AND SHAEVN THOU I SADE ART SUR3 NO CRAEVN
GHASTLY GRIM AND ANCEINT RAEVN WANDARNG FROM DA NIGHTLY SHORE
TEL11111 OMG LOL ME WT LORDLY NMA IS ON TEH NIGHTS PLU2NIAN SHOR3
QUOTH!11!!! OMG WTF LOL DA RAEVN NEVERMOR3
MUCH1!!!!!1 OMG LOL I MARVEL3D THIS UNGANELY FOWL 2 HEAR DISCOURS3 SO PLANELY
THOUGH ITS ANSW3R LITLE M3ANNG LITL3 RELEVANCY BORA
FOR W3 CANOT HELP AGRENG TAHT NO LIVNG HUMAN BNG
EV3R YET WAS BLESAD WIT SENG BIRD ABOVE HIS CHMBR DOR
BIRD OR BAST UPON TEH SCULPTURED BUST ABOVE HIS CHMBR
WIT SUCH NME AS N3V3RMORE
BUT111!!11 WTF LOL DA RAEVN SITNG LONELY ON TAHT PLACID BUST SPOK3 ONLY
TAHT ON3 WORD AS IF HIS SU IN TAHT ON3 WORD H3 DID OUTPOUR
NOTHNG1!!1!!1! OMG LOL FURTHER TH3N HE UTARED NOT A F3ATHER THEN HA FLUT3RED
TIL I SCARC3LY MOR3 THAN MUTERED OTHAR FREINDS HAEV FLOWN BFOR3
ON TEH MOROW H3 WIL LAAEV MA AS MAH HOP3S HAEV FLOWN BFORA
TH3N!!1!11! OMG WTF TEH BIRD SADE NAV3RMOR3
STARTLED!!!111! OMG AT DA STILNAS BROK3N BY REPLY SO APTLY SPOKEN
DOUBTL3S SADE I WUT IT UT3RS IS ITS ONLY S2K AND S2RE
CAUGHT FROM SOME UNHAPY MASTER WHOM UNMERCIFUL DISASTER
FOLOWAD FAST AND FOLOW3D FASTER TIL HIS SONGS ONE BURDEN BORE--
TIL DA DIRG3S OF HIS HOPE TAHT M3LANCHOLY BURD3N BORE
OF NEVAR--N3V3RMORA
BUT1!1!!1 TEH RAEVN STIL BGUILNG AL MAH SAD SU IN2 SMILNG
STRAGEHT I WHELED A CUSHION3D SEAT IN FRONT OF BIRD AND BUST AND DOR
THEN UPON DA V3LVAT SINKNG I B2K MYSELF 2 LINKNG
FANCY UN2 FANCY THINKNG WUT THIS OMINOUS BIRD OF YOR3 WUT THIS GRIM UNGANELY GHASTLY GAUNT AND OMINOUS BIRD OF YORA
M3ANT IN CROAKNG N3VERMORE
THUS1!!!! WTF I SAT 3NGAEGD IN GUESNG BUT NO SYLABL3 3XPRESNG
2 DA FOWL WHOS3 FEIRY EYES NOW BURNED IN2 MAH BOSOMS COR3
THIS AND MORE I SAT DIVINNG WIT MAH H3AD AT EAES R3CLINNG
ON DA CUSHIONS V3LV3T LINNG TAHT DA LMPLIGHT GLOAETD O3R
BUT WHOSE VELVET VIOLAT LINNG WIT DA LMPLIGHT GLOATNG OER
SHE SHAL PR3S AH N3VERMORA
THAN1111! OMG LOL M3THOUGHT TEH ARE GR3W DENS3R PERFUMAD FROM AN UNSEN C3NSAR
SWUNG BY SARAPHIM WHOS3 FOTFALS TINKLED ON TEH TUFT3D FLOR
WR3TCH11!11 OMG LOL I CREID THY GOD HATH LANT THE - BY THESA ANGELS HE HATH
S3NT THE RESPIET--RASPIET AND TEH FROM THY M3MOREIS OF LENORA
QUAF1!!!1! OMG WTF O QUAF THIS KIND NEPENTHA AND FORGAT THIS LOST L3NORE
QUOTH1!1! OMG LOL TEH RAEVN NAV3RMORA
PROPHET111111 WTF LOL SADE I THNG OF EVIL-PROPH3T!!11 WTF STIL IF BIRD OR DAVIL
WHETH3R111!!!!1 WTF LOL TAMPTER SENT OR WH3THAR T3MP3ST 2S3D THE H3R3 ASHOR3
DESOLAET Y3T AL UNDAUNTAD ON THIS DES3RT LAND ENCHANT3D-
ON THIS HOME BY HOROR HAUNTED-TEL MA TRULY I IMPLORE
IS THEIR THEYRE BALM IN GIELAD-TEL??!!! OMG LOL MA-TEL ME I IMPLOR3
QUOTH1!1!1!1 DA RAEVN N3V3RMORE
PROPHET1!11!! WTF LOL SADE I THNG OF 3VIL-PROPHET STIL IF BIRD OR D3VIL
BY1!1!11! OMG TAHT HEAEVN TAHT BNDS ABOV3 US-BY TAHT GOD WE BOTH ADORE-
T3L THIS SU WIT SOROW LAEDN IF WITHIN DA DISTANT ADEEN
IT SHAL CLASP A SANET3D MADEEN WHOM DA ANGELS NM3 LANOR3--
CLASP A R AND RADIANT MADE3N WHOM DA ANG3LS NME LENOR3
QUOTH??!!! OMG WTF LOL TEH RAEVN N3VARMOR3
B1111 WTF TAHT WORD OUR SIGN OF PARTNG BIRD OR FEIND!!1! OMG WTF LOL I SHREIKED UPSTARTNG-
GET THE BAK IN2 DA TAMPAST AND DA NIGHTS PLU2NIAN SHOR3
LEAEV1!!! WTF NO BLAK PLUME AS A 2K3N OF TAHT LEI THY SU HATH SPOK3N
LAAEV1!!1! OMG LOL MAH LONALIENS UNBROK3N1!!!11 OMG WTF - QUIT TEH BUST ABOVA MAH DOR
TAEK1!1! OMG LOL THY BAK FROM OUT MAH HEART AND TAEK THY FORM FROM OF MAH DOR
QUOTH!1!1!!1! OMG WTF LOL TEH RAEVN N3VARMORA
AND11!!!11 TEH RAEVN NEVER FLITNG STIL IS SITNG STIL IS SITNG
ON TEH PALID BUST OF PALAS JUST ABOVA MAH CHMBR DOR
AND HIS EY3S HAEV AL DA SEMNG OF A D3MONS TAHT IS DREMNG
AND!!1!11 OMG WTF LOL DA LMPLIGHT OER HIM STR3MNG THROWS HIS SHADOW ON DA FLOR
AND MAH SU FROM OUT TAHT SHADOW TAHT LEIS FLOATNG ON TEH FLOR
SHAL B LIFT3D--NEV3RMOR31!!! OMG WTF
This horrible thing bought to you by The AOLer Translator.