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I'll be needing three pints of honey, some stakes, and an ants nest...
5 months ago, when we started planning the wedding, a nursery owner (as in plant nursery, not small snotty people!) cheerfully promised my mother than they would be able to grow long stem sweet peas for the bride and bridesmaid's bouquets. "Not a problem" she trilled. "If the summer's too hot or too wet we'll grow them indoors, and if we can't grow ( Read more... ) -
Barefoot bride? Or Doc Martens and hope the dress covers them...
22 days to go, and I have no shoes. Every shop in Bedford* has gone into a sort of summer/prom/party season Chavstravaganza and stocked their footwear departments entirely with 6" heeled silver and purple flouncy numbers.
In theory I could wear shoes like that. In practice though, I've never envisaged waddling down the aisle at my wedding using ( Read more... ) -
Want a good workout?
Bread ( Read more... ) -
Dear Manager...
We ate at your restaurant* for the first time this evening ( Read more... ) -
This is officially ridiculous
The girl I sit next to at work has a long list of problems, some caused by cultural differences (she's Korean), some caused by an apparently completely mollycoddled childhood and an inability to think for herself, but among other things she seems to be totally incapable of eating without chewing noisily with her mouth open, slurping, and making a ( Read more... ) -
Bet they didn't warn my parents about this when they moved in...
When you live in a thatched cottage you get warned about a lot of things - storms will blow your roof away if it isn't battened down with chicken wire. Fireworks will burn your house down*. Thatchers can drink their own body mass in tea every four hours and make enormous amounts of mess.
What people don't tell you is that at some point, maybe 30 ( Read more... ) -
Twitterati
According to mrflywhiteguy, any man can have a million different hoes...
Surely he'd run out of shed space?
