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Nov 12, 2001 12:25

I feel like screaming at her, "I am here! You can't turn your back to me and pretend I don't exist!" I hardly feel human around her and she can't see that. When I talk to her sometimes my words fall on deafened ears, I could tell her my arm fell off and she would hardly notice. I try so hard to reach out to her because I care and fear losing her, ( Read more... )

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coyotemorpheus November 12 2001, 10:43:39 UTC
Ok. Step one: deep breath. Step two: repeat step one a couple times just to make sure it kicks in. Now, let's look at this situation again. This isn't to provide any excuses for any actions done or words said, however, there are many reasons why she could have acted the way she did, which could have absolutely nothing in the world to do with you or your friendship. Also, intentions, actions, and perceptions may all differ, even in so few words. There can be a wide gap between what one means to say, what one acutally says, and how others percieve what one says. If there is a direct correlation between events though, and the issue is definately about your frienship with each other, then I caution against assumptions, as warranted as they may feel. If ever there was a "need" to talk to her, might I suggest that in light of recent events now is an appropriate time? Perhaps you could go to her and suggest that the two of you need to discuss your feelings about this incident, because regardless of what else has occured, those ( ... )

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paganangel3 November 12 2001, 14:57:07 UTC
I did tell her what my impressions were and she did nothing to convince me otherwise. Like an automated toy the words, "I am sorry you feel that way" came out of her mouth with no sympathy or sincerity. I told her that if we were friends then she shouldn't just shut me out and she ignored me, then went about typing on her computer. There were moments of silence taht pierced me. She didn't respond at all to the questions I asked her. I told her that she can't pretend I don't exist, walked away, and she did nothing to assure me otherwise.

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coyotemorpheus November 13 2001, 02:02:43 UTC
Not a livejournal user. Came across your postings in the random section.

Really sorry that you have had a difficult time. Though with regards to your most recent post, maybe I could help provide an insight.

Whenver I feel let down by my friends, or anyone, I will try to think of it as this - friendship or any relationship is always a 2-way thingy. Maybe your friend feels drained and tired, emotionally racked. She may need some time alone, a break, a safe haven and place to herself.

By confronting her, you may have triggered her defensive shell. (Prob writing a note or letter may be more appropriate). Something that does not allow anything else to get through. I'd suggest that you give her some time alone, and if she's breaking the friendship because of some selfish reasons, then let it be. We grow and learn from whatever experiences and encounters.

Hope it helps.

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paganangel3 November 16 2001, 06:42:56 UTC
All I ever tried to do was be your friend, but how can you be a friend if that person won't even talk to you? I offered a hand, it is not my fault if you didn't take it.

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paganangel3 November 16 2001, 08:55:51 UTC
I have no doubts that I am a good person. That was never in question, but as far as ripping you apart, I never said anything I consider insultive to you and if you heard otherwise from outside sources you should have confronted me directly instead of jumping to your own assumptions. As far as ripping you apart, you can ask anyone that I may have talked aobut you with (which is a very limited number of people) and they will tell you that the vast majority of the time, all I talked aobut was how I cared for you and missed you. I think it's unfair that you may have heard one side of a phone conversation that I had with somebody or a version of a story from someone else and never chose to give me the benefit of the doubt, or ask me my side. I don't feel I should have to prove me caring for you because if all the friendship I ever gave you was never enough, then I have no more to give. And I never wanted you to smile so I could feel better about our friendship, your lies did that for a while. Obviously if you can so easily accept the ( ... )

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