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[painful_honesty]

Assuming the only money I receive is my paycheck this Friday, I am $585 short of what HAS to be paid Friday. Im not talking about credit cards bills that can be paid late if need be. Im talking about daycare bills so I can work. Electric bills so I can have electricity. rent so I can have a place to stay. Tithe so I dont bring a(another) curse

Comments

[faith_gal220]

You are exactly right- these trials will come to an end. Heaven knows I've definitely seen those days, and I'm praying for you! I'm so so glad that you have people in your life that are blessing you though, that is awesome. (((hugs)))

[painful_honesty]

Thank you! yes you have, and that gives me hope. How are you?? I dont get online much anymore..

[faith_gal220]

We're good! I haven't been online much either, I actually closed my journal about 2 months ago but just reopened it because I missed everyone. :)

But DH is running a business from home and even though it's tight, we know this is the path God wants for us. This has been the first time in years that we've felt this way for sure, and KNOWN that this is the way He wants us to go. Takes the fear out of it. ;)

I really hope things get better for you hon!

[painful_honesty]

Thats really awesome! I know you guys really went through it at times...So do you feel like everything you went through - the moving, the financial trials, etc. was to prepare you for his business?

[demiga]

So, short of just handing you money - is there anything I can do to help?

[painful_honesty]

Do what you just did there - just listen to my vents and comment so I know you read my complaining... haha. Most of it is just wanting to be heard, really..Its funny because I have peace, I mean there are moments where Im kind of pissed off and stuff but those pass and its SO crazy how everything in my life that I DO have is so much sweeter now...

Like I took my son to the pool after work yesterday and I was so thankful to be able to do that.. and then when we ate dinner I was so glad we had food and it tasted better than usual... its crazy-sounding and terribly cliche, but I appreciate everything else SO much more now... the everything else I do have is starting to outweigh what I dont, I think its my mind learning to focus on the blessings and not "what I want.." idk, its really crazy, God is really doing a work...

[demiga]

I'm glad to hear that.

Don't take this the wrong way, but getting to see you struggle is a blessing to me, because unlike myself...you don't flounder around for too long in anger towards God or self-pity, or cynicism towards humanity.

You simply trust God, push past your doubts (and the fact that you do feel legitimate ones is refreshing...you don't pretend there aren't any problems in life) and move forward. Bravo, you are an inspiration to me.

[painful_honesty]

No, seriously its awesome that God will even use a struggle to bless others. Thank you so much, that really means a lot to me

[lifeguard7778]

I realize you probably don't even know who I am, but I added your journal to my friends list because your words have encouraged me and lifted me up so many times

[painful_honesty]

"They came with faith knowing they would get a miracle but instead Lazarus DIED. It was over, Jesus had failed, and they had to be wondering if he was really the messiah if he couldn't even have the sense to respond in a timely manner to save his friend's life. As far as everyone was concerned it was over. God had failed."

OMGOSH Thank you so much. This really helped me, you have testimony in that area which assures me its not hype, God is true when it comes to finances and not just every other aspect. I dont know why this aspect is so hard to trust him in but it has been and kind of still is, but now Im willing to just do it and wait on Him and be faithful.

[painful_honesty]

That was definitely the Holy Spirit right there. Thanks again.